Fearful Symmetries

Witness a machine turn coffee into pointless ramblings...

30 June, 2004

I Don't Wanna Be Here

I shall write an entry of substance in the near future. Dunno when, exactly, but I shall.

I've been working full-time and spent much of my free time last week preparing for the party on Saturday which went quite well, I might add. This week I've gotten home and worked on the boat every evening and even went over to The Pollack's last night to fix his computer. Tonight should be mellow. The dulcinea may come over tonight - we'll see how it goes. I just need to get my life sorted out a bit. Mail some bills, call a few people, and the like. My to-do list just keeps growing and growing.

For anyone wondering how things are going between me and J: they go pretty well. My libido is in overdrive. A simple hug triggers a stiff response, if you get my meaning. We had sex twice on Sunday morning and it was wonderful! But I haven't been laid in 3 days. In other news, work is retarded, the boat still isn't back in the water, and a friend of mine in Chicago is trying to set me up with a recently-divorced friend of hers. Hopefully she and I get along well and she is horny. One in every port...

Well, I hope everyone is well. I do read your diaries, albeit infrequently, but I read them nonetheless. I haven't forgotten about anyone. Take care all.
|| Palmer, 9:54 AM || link || (0) comments | links to this post

17 June, 2004

Sore Pedals

My feet ache. I hope to be able to write more tomorrow as I've gotta get going soon.

I landed a contract gig with a company here. Boring work but the pay is OK. But it's murder on my feet and I sweat profusely. Still, the exercise is good. Stevie and I finished painting the sides of the boat and await the arrival of the furniture. We hope to be out on the lakes again next week.

Thingy with Jennifer is going OK. To those who left notes: of course I took advantage of her lack of underwear and her offer of a salubrious kiss on the pecker. In fact, she healed it twice the same day. And I got to be a cunning linguist twice as well. I have lots more to write about this topic beyond mere prurient details. It was definitely weird, but in a good way. I think I ravished her or something as tears of joy welled in her eyes a couple times. Not to brag, but she was very lonely and yearning for intimacy. So I gave her a mini-massage, took off her clothes, kiss her all over, stuck my face between her legs for a while, and then held her and kissed her some more. I guess she dug it.
Well, I must go get ready for dinner with her. Jamaican. Me need food and to just relax. More later...
|| Palmer, 9:53 AM || link || (0) comments | links to this post

12 June, 2004

Reasons Why Women Are Evil

#1 - They have the ability to mesmerize. They get this look in their eyes which erases any freewill a man may have and implants the single thought in their brains of kissing her.

While I have much to write, time is lacking. I found out that Jennifer is sending me chocolate. While on the surface it appears to be an act of breaking down gender roles, there are, I suspect, ulterior motives - namely, she is also a chocoholic and she knows that I share so she'll be getting some too.

She and I had our second date on Thursday. It is plain to me now that she is 100% pure evil concentrate as she has this look which serves only to make me want to kiss her. Well, it worked, I can tell you. She allowed me to kiss her despite my having showed up at the wrong restaurant and calling her asking, "Where in the name of Jehovah are you?" She, in turn, asked where I was so I picked up a take-out menu and discovered that I had gone to the wrong Thai joint. My only excuse is that I was informed earlier that day that The Caffeinatrix is going to be selling Toad Hill as thusly was not in a particularly good frame of mind. I wish dearly that hugs could raise capital but, alas, they don't. The Caffeinatrix seems to be on the verge of crying nearly everyday now. This too shall pass, however.

#2 - Women do things like refrain from wearing underwear and casually mention this fact in conversation to men.

If you had happened to be with us on Thursday, here are some things you would have overheard:
"I'm not wearing any underwear."

"I wish I could fall in love with you right now."

"Kiss me here..."

"You don't need these pants!"

"I love the way you feel, the way you smell."

"I haven't been held in a long, long time."

"I am attracted to you like a magnetic field." (in-joke)

lots of sighs

"I don't wanna go."

"I have got to go."

"You're not going to let me go, are you?"


#3 - They leave their scent on you so you can smell them the next morning.
|| Palmer, 9:51 AM || link || (0) comments | links to this post

10 June, 2004

The Things I Do For Rhubarb

Jennifer,
I want you to know that I braved swarms of deadly mosquitoes to pick some rhubarb for a pie. While my mission was successful, I did not come out unscathed...

Be still my beating heart. Not only has the lad promised me a rhubarb pie but risks life and limb to fetch the essential ingredient from the wretched battleground that is the mosquito-filled garden. As reward, I pledge a salve for his wounds, made of my own tender kiss. That he survive to receive it, this is my prayer...

You are too kind, Mistress. One of the pesky critters flew up my shorts, into my boxers, and did render a bite unto my member.

On my honor, I have pledged to smother your flesh hith hot, wet kisses to counteract the wicked venom of the mosquito. And where would I be without my honor?

Thou would have thine honor but each kiss would abscond with thine virtue.

Alas. To keep this purest virture, mine - the answer then, is calamine.
|| Palmer, 9:51 AM || link || (0) comments | links to this post

09 June, 2004

On the Dole?

The oddest thing just happened to me: I was invited to take a 5-day cruise from Hawaii to San Diego aboard an aircraft carrier. How often does that happen? A cousin of mine is in the Navy and apparently you can have family members take a cruise on the final leg back to port. That would be so fucking cool! I could stand on the deck of the USS John C. Stennis and peer out over the Pacific Ocean. I could get to Hawaii a day or 2 early and check it out: see Pearl Harbor, watch pineapples grow, and get lei'd.
|| Palmer, 9:50 AM || link || (0) comments | links to this post
Last Date

The sky is having a rough time trying to figure out if it wants to rain or not. I've been catching up on email and noting people at Suicide Girls. I think Miss Pamela is pissed at me because I completely spaced on letting her know that I wouldn't be able to make it up north last weekend. I'm just too capable when it comes to getting on people's shitlists.

On the plus side of life, my dad's house and truck were sold on Monday so I have a couple less things to worry about. Also, my date went well yesterday. Well enough to get a second one, at any rate. I have this feeling that I'm going to get more than I bargained for. I knew that her divorce was in media res and that she had kids, but I discovered yesterday that we are very much alike - eerily so.

The first tip off that something was odd was that she presented me with a mix CD upon meeting her at the cafe. That is exactly the dorky kinda thing I'd do. When I found out that it was her birthday, I felt bad for not having presented her with a gift so I bought lunch. It got worse when we quoted Monty Python synchronously in front of the waitress who had a good sense of humor - the Mr. Creosote bit from Meaning of Life. Early on, she demanded to see my driver's license as I had told her that I was alternately 17, 18, and 22. Joking aside, I am one who believes in truth in advertising, so I got two hoolies of hot sauce with my lunch. The hot sauce, when combined with the tahini made a complete mess. I had this pink goop all over my hands throughout most of the meal but she found it amusing. The geek in me was amazed when she casually dropped the word "transmogrify" in the conversation. To top things off, she revealed that she keeps a Live Journal and a diary at DiaryX.

It was just strange. In many ways, it felt like I was talking to myself. But a self that was much better-looking. She loved music, we had similar tastes in TV & film, uses big words casually, has tattoos - oh, the tats. She wore a sleeveless top so I could see the tats on her arms. One was of the sun which looked exactly like the Vantage Books logo. I know this because she pointed it out to me as I had a book they published with me. The second tattoo is of a bat hanging upside down with a dog's head - looks a lot like Anubis. She said that she loves bats. A cool quirk. And she has a rather prurient imagination. We were talking about how we both love to have gardens and to cook. I mentioned that a friend wants me to make tamales but that this would mean getting lard and masa flour everywhere. She remarked that she had suddenly gotten a weird image of me and lard in her head. I laughed very hard.

After lunch, we went over to the botanical gardens and wandered around. The first time she bent over to smell a flower, I got a good close-up look at her ass.

Baby when you walk, you shake just like a willow tree

We wandered up to a bush which was littered with small white flowers. She and I bent over to smell them together and she remarked that the scent reminded her of cookie dough and we referred to it as the "cookie bush". As we wandered around, she was laugh to herself. I'd ask what was so funny and she would only say that a funny thought popped into her head. She's goofy and that's a good thing. After sweating for a while, we wandered inside and took a bench where we sat and talked.

I tried my best to tell her about myself and she found my boast that I had once eaten so many crawfish that I got hives to be particularly revealing. What it reveals, I'm not sure...As I said before, I am into truth in advertising so at one point I admonished her that I am a bit on the nerdy side. I revealed my love for the never-popular Genesis, that I play Dungeons & Dragons - that kinda stuff. Yet she was unphased. She jokingly called me "moderately intelligent". Her phone rang at one point - it was her father - but she didn't answer. I dunno if it's because I was more interesting or she just wasn't in the mood to talk to him. A bit after 4, she had to go as she was to get her sons and meet up with her mother for birthday dinner. We traipsed out to the parking lot and talked for several minutes before she actually went on her way. There were many times throughout the afternoon when she would begin to say something and then stop. I tried to inveigle her to spill the beans but she wouldn't. All in good time, I guess. As we stood in the parking lot, she something akin to, "There's just something about you that makes me feel good inside. I don't know what to say when I'm around you."

Considering that I went into this only wanting sex, my mind was remarkably unoccupied with it when we were together. Instead I was just taken with how goofy and spontaneous she was. Sure, I eyed her up but I concentrated on getting to know this fair creature in a non-carnal way. I felt almost smitten.

While she was off with family, Stevie and I finished laying the shag on the boat. Once again, I got adhesive all over my hands and arms. But it's done! We ate dinner and I fell asleep on the couch while watching an episode of that series on the Blues. Again, I felt rather bad this morning. I checked my email to find that she had sent me a message yesterday night. I suppose that I should have called her. Ah well, I replied and she replied to my reply:
Dinner was nice, I didn't mention it was my birthday though, so I don't know what the free goody would have been. The boys had arranged for a Dairy Queen ice cream cake (with Harry Potter on it, cool), so we had that later at home.

Falling asleep on the couch sounds so nice. I slept in my stifling hot bedroom, and woke up at 4:15 this morning. That wasn't good. I'm a tad bit sleepy right now. And the whole "working for the man" thing isn't appealing to me. And I feel badly because I'm drinking a cup of Starbucks iced coffee. In bed with the devil!

Let's get together - Are you interested in seeing "Super Size Me"? I'd like to CD shop too. You know what else we should do together? Go to the Candinas Chocolate place (I think it is in Verona) a mini pilgrimage.

I just remembered buying my first LP. It was Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, I got $10 for my 10th birthday and I went down to State Street to buy it at Discount Records (which is now a Pizza Hut, I think). I really loved that album. And the really huge headphones I'd wear to listen to it. Remember those?

Okay, that is enough of that (I'm a prolific emailer when I get started). Please call me, or write me, or send me psychic messages, and we can arrange to get together sometime.
Soon. Maybe.

Cookie Bush
She likes Harry Potter, wants to see a flick I wanna see, is a lefty, a chocoholic, loves music, uses adverbs correctly, and is in bed with the devil - what more could I want?
|| Palmer, 9:50 AM || link || (1) comments | links to this post

07 June, 2004

Today Was An 8



The garden is coming along alright. With the hot and humid weather starting, the hot peppers should feel right at home. And the strawberries are slowly turning red:



Saw the latest Harry Potter flick - loved it. More on that later as its appeal has a lot to do with direction & cinematography. If I'm going to explain it all correctly, I need to be less tired.

Got copies of pictures taken up at Pine River last fall. Amusing. Why does every set of photos from there include at least one of The Pollack or myself or both of us passed out? Next month we return.

Miss Rosie told me on Saturday that Gina has taken quite a liking to me after having read some of my writing. "I would drop 100 pounds instantly if he took a liking to me." Let my affections not become the new fad diet.

I've got more music to send out. Empty Picture Frame - weren't you bitching about needing some?
|| Palmer, 9:45 AM || link || (0) comments | links to this post
Edison Lighthouse?

I need to take a shower. Badly.

*sniffs armpit*

Very badly.

I spent the early part of this morning down at Toad Hill supping coffee and doing crossword puzzles. I am going to miss being like Norm when the time comes. After that, I ran errands. By this I mean I drove from one part of town to the other and back as I either couldn't find a belt for a belt sander or forgot something or other. Stopped in at CZ to get a refill of go-juice and say hi to Jolene. At the end of it all, I had a new bookshelf and new bedsheets.

The shelf is nothing fancy - just this pre-hoolied thing that stacks atop others like it, of which I have 3. Unfortunately, the one in need of a partner, though quite similar, did not come predrilled and ready to accept the mounting brackets. So I had to chisel out a couple bits and some holes. Lemme tell ya, I really did a fucking number on it. Thank Christ my hatchet job will face the wall. Ah well, it worked.

I went to some outlet store that The Caffeinatrix recommended to get my bedsheets. I've spent the last couple summers sleeping on flannel sheets and I was ready for non-winter gear. I walked in and found the section for bed sheets. Upon finding a flat sheet of a suitably gaudy pattern, it dawned on me that I would need one of those hoolies with the elastic bits that goes over the matress. But I couldn't remember what they were called so I was forced to be the stupid single guy and ask the clerk. Fitted sheet! While I had her attention, I asked her for help with the pillow cases, as in what color to get. She thought the turqoise would do me right but I ixnayed that idea - light blues just ain't me. She pointed out a nice tope or tan or whatever you call it and I snatched them up and headed to the check out counter.

I stopped at Toad Hill on my way home to show The Caffeinatrix my booty as she had asked me to. It was she that described them as being tope-colored. You didn't think I knew "tope" to be a color, did ya? She gave her approval and home I went. Once I was finished vacuuming up all the wood particulate matter from the carpeting, I reorganized my shelves and put on my new sheets. My room doesn't really look any better but I think I've managed to disperse all the books and music a bit more evenly. Here's a snap of it:



I've got too many fucking CDs. Notice the Tim the Enchanter doll on the top shelf. And my grandmother's pitcher & wash basin. Now here's my new bed linens:



I think the pattern is Alahambra. Vaguely Middle Eastern. Perhaps I should build a harem.

After my bedroom regained some semblance of order, Stevie and I started putting the new carpeting on the deck of the pontoon boat. Here's a shot of it in dry dock before we put on the shag:



I got elected to lay down the adhesive and I got the shit all over me. Much to my chagrin, the adhesive remover is not particularly friendly to human skin. As I scrubbed the trowel, my hands started burning. I could have done without the chemical burns to my knuckles but it got the trowel clean. I'm afraid to masturbate lest I get a few molecules of that nasty petroleum distillate on my pecker.

Today is Stevie's birthday so dinner was on me. Neither of us had much energy for going out so I ordered a pizza. Although not very special and it runs counter to the Atkins diet which he is on, Stevie was nonetheless appreciative as he worked hard today. And I suppose the fact that he was completely baked added to his hunger quotient.

Methinks summer has finally arrived as it was hotter than a French whore on dollar day today. My nutsack was hanging down to my knees and sticking to my thighs. I'm tired. Tired and sore. I went down to the garage to get my camera battery a short while ago and took a digger. Concrete is hard. There's something slick by the door. Tired, sore, and smelly. Must shower. Do some reading.

Tomorrow fairly busy. CD reviews to appease editor. Figure out how to start bank account in the name of my father's estate. Ponder what to do on Father's Day. Call Jennifer in AM to figure out lunch date...
Skyrockets in flight
Afternoon delight
|| Palmer, 9:45 AM || link || (0) comments | links to this post

06 June, 2004

Swellings Of the Heart

It's such a nice day out - a bit too hot, truth be told. Still, better than another deluge. Unfortunately, we took the boat out Thursday night in anticipation of the arrival of the new furniture and carpeting. On Friday, Stevie and I got it all taken off and the new carpeting arrived yesterday. Theoretically the furniture will be here within a week or so giving us time to sand the deck and lay the new shag.

I had a PC repair job yesterday morning which was amusing. It was for a customer whom I'd helped out previously and I take it as a point of pride that he called me again. This time, however, it was his daughters' computers which were the issue. People like this guy, Brad, humor me because he works for IBM yet knows next to nothing about computers. He is a really nice guy but is a strategic planner or some such thing so he's just a user. Both of his daughters chat online constantly and are pretty knowledgeable about Windows. The one girl's desktop was really bad. The boot process just died after the POST. Being an idiot, I fixed the boot sector and made a new MBR first, which didn't solve the problem. If I had been thinking and ran CheckDisk with the repair switch first instead, I probably could have got it up and running sooner. The other computer belonged to the younger daughter and was a laptop. Both PCs use wireless NICs and the laptop was experiencing frequent network connectivity problems. When connected, the signal strength was only 7% so I'm inclined to believe that the laptop just needs to be moved so that there's not so much distance/walls between it and the hub. It was the elder girl's birthday and they had to leave for the Dells before I could finish so I'll be going back next weekend to wrap things up and get paid.

One thing that made the job fun was the oldest girl. She is 10 or 11 and so bouncy, so vivacious. And pretty smart. While she was patiently waiting for Windows to reboot for the 12th time, she got the hiccups and we laughed about it together. There's just something about girls that age. And it's not naughty so noone start singing "Sitting on a park bench". Maybe it's because I'm older. When you're 20, girls half your age are just annoying. They giggle incessantly and just don't fit into the world of the young adult. But at 31, these girls seem to be wonderful reminders of innocence and unadulterated fun. She thought it funny to have gotten the hiccups in front of a total stranger - she didn't flee in self-conscious embarrassment. And menarche lurks around the corner. So much to look forward to: sexual awakening, high school, driving her parents insane - you know, the usual teenage stuff. I dunno - it's spring and she just came across to me as this bundle of potential and wonder at all the things in the world.

Upon returning from the job, I stopped at Toad Hill. I'm worried about The Caffeinatrix. I really am. I got Jimmy Downtown's ass out on the boat last week and we had a blast. It was him, me, Marv, and Stevie. And good beer - New Glarus and Capital. We shot the shit and enjoyed the sun. Since we weren't at Toad Hill, Downtown was able to gimme some dirt on things there. Not dirt really, it's just that he was able to talk about the people there without fear of any of them hearing. For instance, he got caught looking down the shirt of a customer, Heather. Heather is a hottie and a newly published author. I don't know if I've mentioned this or not yet so I apologize if this is a retread: the Heather in question is Heather Skyler and her book, The Perfect Age was published last month. I haven't spoken to her much probably because I just end up gawking at her. She's tall and just stunningly beautiful, not unlike a supermodel. Yet she seems extremely affable. She is also extremely married with a couple kids - the perfect MILF. (Mommy I'd Like to Fuck) JimmyD also talked about Jane, a friend of The Caffeinatrix who stops in pretty frequently. Jane must be in her early 40s. I'm a horrible gauge of people's ages - especially women's. I've begun to chat with her more over the past few weeks and she is friggin' hilarious. I think I've already related the ankle hair story here so I knew exactly of what Downtown spoke when he described her as one to speak what's on her mind. He related how, one day, she asked The Caffeinatrix how she and Henry were able to maintain their sex life. Apparently Jane and her hubby no longer have one. Horrible! It did make me wonder how many of the other folks I know who have been married for a while also have little or no sex life. I agreed with JimmyD - Jane is hot. She may not be as physically attractive as Heather but Jane is nice, smart, and funny as hell. She's the one who got The Caffeinatrix to take belly dancing lessons. Jane is very friendly - a real people-person. After the third or forth conversation of any real length we had, she felt comfortable enough to touch me. Nothing sexual but one generally needs to get to know someone else before one will penetrate another's personal space and make even casual contact. (What a horrid-sounding sentence!) So, it made me kind of sad to hear about her marriage.

Also that day at Toad Hill, The Caffeinatrix said totally out of the blue: "I am a bad friend." When I asked her to clarify, she said that not only does she need to see more of her friends but also that she has been lying to them. Upon being asked how she is, The Caffeinatrix tells them that things are OK when they're really far from it. The stress is getting worse but she seems to be keeping it to herself for the most part. I told her that she should be honest with them. It's one of the reasons we have friends - to relieve the swellings of our hearts. To tell someone what's on our mind - a friend is there to just listen. Out on the boat, JimmyD and I both expressed our concern for her. She's going to work herself into a nervous breakdown or health problems. Or both. I received the following from her via e-mail last week:

Thanks for checking on him for me. You have great follow through! These days I feel like my mind is a sieve and it's holes are getting bigger. Stress is not my friend and I do not like it. Make it go away please. Thanks for all your support. I will keep striving for inner peace but, in the mean time, I hope my outward falling to pieces isn't too annoying.

Your Caffeinatrix

While it makes me happy that she feels comfortable in confiding in me, it saddens me greatly that things are going so poorly for her. I called and invited her and Henry to go for a boat ride a few times but they declined in every instance. Too busy. She needs to get busy relieving the stress.

Things got better, however, when I went out to The Pollack's. His dad was there and we chilled out front with cocktails. Mr. Z is great and he gives The Pollack a lot of shit. After a while, Miss Rosie came over to join in the fun. We drank most of the 1.75 liter of Ten High before dinner. Also before dinner, The Pollack passed out - too drunk and stoned. So Miss Rosie, MrZ, and I ate the roast that was in the crockpot. I wasn't particularly sober by this time but had to make gravy. While running around looking for some corn starch to thicken it, The Pollack arose from the dead to say that he had roux - excellent! He took a couple aspirin and went back to bed. I think the gravy turned out OK - no one complained.

During dinner, we chatted about politics and the D-Day Anniversary. While I knew that MrZ had been in WWII, I found out some specifics. He was in the Pacific Theater - at Tarawa. Tarawa was not pretty: the 2nd Marine Division suffered 1,027 dead, 88 missing, and 2,292 wounded. Some of those were MrZ's friends. He had a flame thrower and would root out Japanese soldiers hiding in tunnel systems on the various islands. Not a pretty thought that his job was to burn men alive.

At one point, Miss Rosie followed me outside while I had a choke. We were both highly unsober and she let loose a few things. Firstly was that MrZ had told her that, in the case that something should happen to him, the medical authorities are to contact either her or me instead of The Pollack. It goes to show what a maroon The Pollack is but also what a good friend of the Z family I've become. The second bit was hard to take. Miss Rosie said that she has a lump on her crotch and that she fears her cancer may have come out of remission. She goes to the doctor for a biopsy next month and I plan on going with her. Over and over she told me, "I just couldn't handle having to go through that again. I'm so scared..." The first time it was breast cancer and she had to have a mastectomy. I am hoping against hope that there is not going to be a second time. She also told me that I was the only person that she was going to tell until she knew more.

It was such a weird day - it seemed like I had all of these people confiding in me, looking to me to make things better. While I have some super-human powers (such as the use of run-on sentences), I can't do everything. I know that they just wanted to talk, that nothing was expected of me other than to lend an ear, I felt so helpless, felt like there was something more I could be doing but wasn't. Such feelings are tremendously frustrating.

Whilst out on the overhang this morning, I went over to Toad Hill to get some restorative tea. Miss Vicki was working! She's down to 1 day/week there but we had fun. Miss Vicki + The Caffeinatrix = naughtiness. Those two are nearly incorrigible. Playful insults and innuendo abounded. And I got my first kick to the shin in a while. It wasn't long before my nose was buried in the crossword puzzle. Then Jennifer came in followed by Ronaldo. Jennifer is a regular there and I had enlisted her help with the crossword puzzle on a couple occasions recently. So, as she stood at the counter, I held it up and pointed. She told me to come over to her table and that she's lend a hand. Ronaldo wasn't staying as he had to clean his garage so I chatted with him for a while before he took off. I love Ronaldo - I'm so glad that I met him. Not only is he really funny, but he and I are both geeky in the same ways. Well, mostly. We both love music and get really excited about a single note in a guitar solo. And we are both out of space on our bookshelves. In addition, he is just so damn friendly and open. There's always something to talk about with him whether it be music or politics or his life. I feel incredibly fortunate to have befriended him.

After he busted outta Dodge, I went over to Jennifer's table and we worked on the crossword. Well, a bit. While we did get a few answers, I think most of the time was spent flirting. She's a hoot. We have much the same self-deprecating sense of humor.

Both JimmyD and The Caffeinatrix have told me about Jennifer. She recently left her husband and has filed for divorce. The way it was described to me was that her husband has problem including depression and he refuses to seek help. In general, he refuses to change his life and move forward whereas Jennifer has done a lot to improve her life and not be content. Of course, I don't know all of the details but she seems to be quite a great person. And so I left with her phone # secure in my pocket.

Just a piece of ass - is that too much to ask? I'm just Joey Rebound to her. The ink isn't even on her divorce papers yet and she has kids so she's not looking for anything serious. This is perfect! I must be careful to not blow it. A summer fuck and then she can go get her life organized again. I keep having these visions of me and her out on the lake with some mango cream pie...
|| Palmer, 9:44 AM || link || (0) comments | links to this post

01 June, 2004

To Make Truth Together (Letter To A Friend)

Hey Miss Pamela,

I can be reached at:

608-###-####.
Bad news. I probably won't be able to make it up to Elvira this weekend - gotta fix a couple laptops. I am, however, trying to reschedule with the guy to get it done during the week - stay tuned.

Things here are OK. Business is pretty brisk which is really nice. I just got back from a job a little while ago and have another tomorrow morning. With the crappy weather I haven't been doing a whole fuck of a lot outside, unfortunately.

I got a couple checks from my dad's estate recently and have paid off most of his bills. I keep getting statements from the hospital down there for the services they performed the day he died but they read "THIS IS NOT A BILL" so I dunno when they'll want their $500. I think I need to set aside some time and just look at some pictures and whatnot of the old man. Since I got back to Madison, I've been caught up in my own hoo-ha and matters of his estate but not really much thinking about him. Methinks I need to do so. There have been times lately in which I feel bad for not feeling bad that he's gone. That and I've just been in a rather odd mood lately. Not bad, just weird.

I went to the bookstore yesterday and bought an assload of classical music and several books. Got one about astrophysics which probes the nature of the universe and time. Got one about the early history of Christianity too, and others. I can't tell if I'm searching for something new or am just trying to clarify the thoughts in my head. I spent 10 minutes the other day folding laundry and, while doing that, I contemplated whether there was a meaning to life or not.

Yesterday I read the first couple chapters of that book on the first few hundred years of Christianity. The author discussed how the old Jewish attitudes towards marriage, divorce, sex, abortion, etc. changed with the coming of Christ. Things took a turn for the worse for womyn and there were groups that eschewed sex even within the confines of marriage - being chaste was how you got close to God. So I read this and then go poking around SG. That Morgan chickie is beautiful! I sat there for a while just ogling her breasts and kept wondering how anyone could repress their sexuality in the manner I had read about. I mean nature was so nice!

ape + walking erect - fur + more gray matter = Morgan, Miss Pamela, Voltaire, etc.

Come on! I kept thinking about various Christian attitudes that make absolutely no sense to me and it made me sad. Sadder than it should have. What a travesty to make sexuality into such a dirty, tainted thing when it's one of the most beautiful and potent bits of our humanity. It was weird to be gawking at a woman's breasts only to find that I was thinking mostly in metaphysical terms and not lustful ones.

Either I just think too much or there's something afoot in the old brain box.

So that's what's shaking in my part of the world. Wie gehts es dir? How's Bill doing? I hope all is well out east.
XOXOXOXO
Palmer
|| Palmer, 9:43 AM || link || (0) comments | links to this post
Playing the Fool

Tonight I went over to a woman's house to fix a 'puter. I love spyware! I've made so much coin from removing it, I've lost count. However, I did run into a dandy that I've never seen before. It took some hunting and pecking through the the mass of dynamic link libraries in the \Winders\System folder but I found was I was looking for. The woman called me her savior. hehe Tomorrow morning I have another job and another one on Saturday. Business is getting brisk and, as Martha Stewart would say, that's a good thing.

I got a copy of the Genesis show I attended back in '86 - the first concert I ever went to. 17 years, 7 months, 25 days ago. Yikes! Not a particularly noteworthy gig in the grand scheme of things, but, since I was there, it is special to me. For the introduction to "Home By the Sea", Phil had the audience doing that goofy "ooh ooh oooh" chant hoolie that Bears fans did back then. And then when they did "...In That Quiet Earth" into "Apocalypse in 9/8"...magic...

Right now, I have this huge caffeine buzz. The woman whose PC I fixed furnished me with 40oz of strong coffee. I sang and bounced around to the music the whole drive home.

Tomorrow I have a PC fix-it job @ 8:30AM then a business meeting at 11:30. Plus I still need to find an auto parts store. Somewhere in there I'll make lasagne. I've got the cheesy filling done. I should fry up the sausage tonight so I only have to make the sauce and pasta tomorrow.

OK, I need to eat something having had all this coffee. I don't wanna have me a Henry Fool episode.
|| Palmer, 9:42 AM || link || (0) comments | links to this post
Mind Asking Questions

Today I paid off my car. And my credit card. Plus I paid most of my dad's remaining bills. Finally, I sent my insurance company the remaining balance for this period. It sucks having to cut nearly $4000 worth of checks but most of my debt has been relieved and I will save on interest. I was so happy that I went down to Toad Hill to buy lunch for The Caffeinatrix and Jimmy Downtown. Because of a schedule change, Downtown had the day off so it was just me and The Caffeinatrix. A nice treat for one especially stressed-out lady.

Books - I bought books yesterday. Having read a couple of Julie's entries, our discussion out on the boat Friday about various strains of Protestantism, and my general sense of paranoia about he Xtian Right led me over to the religion aisle. I need to know more about this leviathan that is Xtianity. And at Miss Regan's baptism a couple weeks ago, I gained more questions. Since mass was ongoing, we sat in an anteroom where I found a Catholic dictionary. Flip, flip. Baptism. It rids the baptisee of Original Sin and some other lesser ones. However, it does not remove mortality and concupiscence. Oh, that's rich. It removes from a person all the crap the Church made up but leaves the all the real bits of our nature intact. I found the idea that sweet little Miss Regan was this heinous individual despite only being a few months old to be ridiculous and insulting. These feelings were compounded when I read that, for Catholics, people are endowed with this Original Sin hoolie at conception. She was screwed from the get-go. What kind of nonsense was this?

Anyway, I trolled around the aisle until a saleswoman approached me. She turned out to be exceedingly helpful - almost to the point of pushy. She recommended God's Secretaries, an account of the creation of the Knig James Bible. It, being about books, immediately appealed to me and I tucked it under my arm. Next was Elaine Pagel's Adam, Eve, and the Serpent. It's about the early years of Xtianity and how it's doctrines, which changed Western civilization, came about. One thing that really amazed me was the number of books about The Da Vinci Code. It's a fucking cottage industry! I wonder if Dan Brown is getting a piece of the action on this. I don't understand what the big deal is. It's a mediocre novel, at best. The idea behind the story is intruguing enough, but the story itself became hackneyed once those goons started chasing the protagonists. For me, however, the worst sin of all is Brown's writing. It's at the level of comic books. (No offense intended towards those like Alan Moore, et al.) Hey, I can read and understand concepts beyond those of the 4th grade! Ah, lots of people liked it and I can't begrudge them. I guess I just went into it with expectations too high. I was hoping for something akin to Eco but got the literary equivlent of McDonalds.

I went down the next aisle and snagged Ibn Warraq's Why I Am Not a Muslim. Beneath a shelf there was a section on language so I picked up a volume on the history of English as well as Steven Pinker's The Language Instinct. From there it was off to the science section where I snagged Paul Davies' About Time and Matt Ridley's book on the human genome. Before leaving, I ordered Pragmatic Liberalism by Charles W. Anderson, an old professor of mine. I'd lent the book to a friend of mine several years ago and never got it back after I switched jobs so I figured I'd get a new copy. Prof. Anderson's class had a tremendous impact on my life so I figured I'd pay him back by buying the hardcover edition of the book.

And so I've got some reading to do. I haven't been doing much lately and I'm hoping this will kickstart the habit. I have so many questions in my mind that require more knowledge for careful consideration. So much to know, so much to clarify. Ya know, I folded laundry a couple days ago and spent the entire time pondering the meaning of life. I fecal matter thee not. I wrote an essay which broached the topic some time ago and I asked myself whether I still agreed with what I had written. While I would write it differently now, I found that I still felt much the same.

I gave some tunes to Jolene yesterday and discovered that she's a big Pavement fan. I found this rather odd as I would never have guessed that she'd be into their music but I knew she liked Primus as well and she doesn't seem the bastardo type either. Go figure. I hope she's in the mood for gospel because one of the CDs had a fair amount of it.

Auto parts store...must find one...
|| Palmer, 9:41 AM || link || (0) comments | links to this post