Fearful Symmetries

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05 July, 2007

Usingers, Schwai's Stand Up for Tradition

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel recently had an article about culinary heresy called "Fruity bratwurst ripe for debate". It lists several examples such as this one:

Five years ago, for Cedarburg's annual Strawberry Festival, Hoffmann's Market in Cedarburg created a strawberry brat. The family-owned downtown shop made 125 pounds and sold out.

The trend is even poisoning the Fatherland!

News reports out of Germany say butchers there are experimenting with flavors such as chili-honey, and substances previously foreign to bratwurst, including kiwi, pineapples, maraschino cherries and even truffle, a fungus spiced with black and white pepper.

Luckily here in Wisconsin, Schwai's and Usinger aren't messing with a good thing.

"I don't think we've ever made a fruit brat; I've never even heard of it," said Liz Schwai, whose family has been in the brat-making business in Ozaukee County for 60 years. "It sounds kind of gross."

Usinger's Famous Sausage in Milwaukee isn't going there, either, said Jon Gabe, vice president of sales and marketing.

"We think bratwurst is supposed to taste like bratwurst," said Gabe, pointing out that Usinger's doesn't even make a beer brat.

"We tend to drink the beer," he said.


We need a movement to maintain the purity of the bratwurst race. And a movement needs an acronym. How about SPOB - Society for the Purity of Brats?

NO FRUIT! NO FRUIT!

HEY! HEY! HO! HO! THE FRUIT'S GOTTA GO!

Me: I don't know but I been told...
My SPOB Minions: I don't know but I been told...
Me: Only traditional brats should be sold.
My SPOB Minions: Only traditional brats should be sold.
Me: MMM, good...
My SPOB Minions: MMM, good...
Me: Tastes good...
My SPOB Minions: Tastes Good...
Me: Feels Good.
My SPOB Minions: Feels good.
|| Palmer, 3:02 PM

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