18 October, 2010

Willy Street Coop For Good Neighbor Award

Despite all the crap the Willy Street Coop is getting for its decision to install an egress onto Jenifer Street, I still want to nominate it for a Marquette Neighborhood Association Good Neighbor Award. OK, maybe a new driveway isn't the best idea but the people at the Coop are some of the most patient, understanding people around. If I had to deal with some doofus bitching that one of the Coop's exterior walls doesn't absorb enough heat, I'd be saying something other than "Thanks for the suggestion".

This month's customer comments in the Coop's newsletter has some doozies.

The outside western wall is painted a very light shade (white-off white-lt. grey) and in sunlight radiates heat and glare to people walking to the co-op from the neighborhood. Have you considered repainting that wall a cooler grey? It would cut the heat and glare to those who use the sidewalk.

It's just too hot walking in. Boo-hoo. Yes, let's paint the Coop a darker shade of pale so that it absorbs more heat and uses more energy and costs more money to cool.

The planters out front have sharp corners, which are really dangerous. Any toddler or young child could run their face right into those. They are a really unfriendly addition. Can you get someone to round the corners? Anyone could also bump into them with their leg. I would prefer they be removed. They are very bag feng shui. Doesn’t WSC have legal counsel—no good lawyer could possibly advise anything but removal of the planters and bongo drop box. You guys have made two very bad decisions in these planters and drop box. Please remove and make the coop entry safe and welcoming not a labyrinth of dangerous sharp corners!!

Stop the maiming! Bad feng shui! Holy crap - doesn't a virgin have to be sacrificed to appease the gods of round edges? If Princess Di were still alive she could drop that whole anti-landmine thing and get down to some serious business.

I appreciate your efforts with plants but I get weed seed poisoning from walking in tall grasses, and think that another type of plant would be more appropriate by the walk in front.

This is great. It's just too much effort to not walk in the grass. I feel bad for this person. First they have to endure the inhumane heat and glare from the wall and then, to add Pelion upon Ossa, there's the tall grass.

Reading the comments every month, I can only conclude that Willy Street Coop shoppers are the most beset upon people on the whole planet. They need their own charity.

7 comments:

Reem Tara said...

You are hilarious. Thanks for this.

Skip said...

You're welcome. Glad you found it amusing.

Jesse said...

I have nothing to say except...pardon...need to clear my throat because this isn't something I say very often and I want to make sure it is crystal clear...ROFLMAO!

Skip said...

hehe

It's a monthly ritual - read the newsletter for the sheer inanity.

D.B. said...

Ha. This is the first time I've seen your blog, and I found it because I was idly wondering, "what the heck is 'weed seed poisoning'?" after reading those letters.

I love the co-op; have been a member for many years. But reading the letters this time made me think of what a satirist might compose in a parody of the newsletter if he wanted to make fun of the poor, suffering, sensitive co-op members.

As far as I can tell, "weed seed poisoning" is what stupid teenagers get when they chew toxic plant seeds to get high. Good heavens; the co-op is neglecting to prevent adult customers from snacking on unidentified landscaping on their way into the store? Unforgiveable.

I've had toddlers and was probably on the slightly worried end of the Moms' Hazards-Monitoring Scale myself, but that one about the corners of planters was among the most eye-rolling things EVER.

The staff who answer the letters could get work in the State Dept., they are such diplomats.

Skip said...

I have no idea what weed seed poisoning is. I assume it is some kind of skin irritation. Who knows. Somebody bitched about "waste sensitivities" back in February and I had to wonder how this person manages to survive at home.

Does Copps or Woodman's get such complaints?

Unknown said...

I'd forgotten about the waste sensitivity one. Classic.