12 April, 2007

Wie sagt man "bullshit" auf Deutsch?

I am not sure how to say "bullshit" in German but the Pope's latest book seems to be full of it. His popeness has a new book out called Creation and Evolution in which the former Nazi-in-training spews his bullshit. Here's the best quote:

"But it is also true that the theory of evolution is not a complete, scientifically proven theory."

Bullshit there Fritzy von Scheiskopf! That's why it's "Theory of Evolution" with a capital T, not "theory of evolution". He continues.

Benedict added that the immense time span that evolution covers made it impossible to conduct experiments in a controlled environment to finally verify or disprove the theory.

"We cannot haul 10,000 generations into the laboratory," he said.


Puh-lease! What a tool. He has no problem believing in this weird deity that fights sea monsters, makes his children eat their own shit, and has an inexplicable vendetta against shellfish without a shred of proof but, when it comes to evolution, well, that's just something Darwin rode hard and put away wet.

Talk about papal bull.

11 comments:

nichole said...

"Quatsch" is pretty good. Otherwise, good old "Scheisse" will do.

Skip said...

Thanks, Nichole. I used to be pretty proficient in German profanity but no more.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that you don't know that The Devil put those dinosuar bones in the ground to test your faith.

(Where in the Bible does God make people eat feces? My only experience with the Bible is through Slayer and the Bible in pictures @ the waiting room at the hospital)

Skip said...

"And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight. And the Lord said, Even thus shall the children of Israel eat their defiled bread....Then he said unto me, Lo, I have given thee cow's dung for man's dung, and thou shalt prepare they bread forthwith." (Ezekiel 4:12,13)

Anonymous said...

Is that from the deleted scenes in 'Pulp Fiction' ?

Skip said...

No, from The Ten Commandments. Great shot of Charleton Heston mowing the cakes down.

Anonymous said...

To me that reads as: "Instead of burning cow patties to bake your barley cakes, you must burn your own shite."

I'd assume that would be enough to defile it without it being actually full of shyt.

The D.

Skip said...

Take this as you will:

"Note that some Christian apologists have tried to change the meaning of the passage by saying that the dung was used as a fuel, but this can't possibly be true because you can't use human feces as a burning fuel for cooking, not to mention that it would stink to high "heaven" if you did. Moreover, verse 13 explicitly states that it is defiled bread and verse 14 describes it as "abominable flesh." There's no way around it: Biblical bread is made with shit. A Hebrew scholar once told me that the original bread was made by mixing the wheat, barley, spelt, etc. and forming it with dung into a flattened shape. The dung substitutes for water and it helps retain the heat, like a clay oven would because it's the first thing that drys out."

Anonymous said...

Well, if the cow dung were used as a baking stone of sorts, and the far less useful human excrement were replaced in that capacity, then I guess those were definitely some shitty barley cakes!

::shudder::

To my mind that passage still keeps the possibility open of burning people poop. Yes, you "can't" do it, but if you wanted to fuck with people, dumping your shit in their cooking fuel would do the trick, wouldn't it? The bible is scary.

The D

Anonymous said...

You can also say "Blödsinn" for bullshit in german

Skip said...

Thanks for the language lesson, Anon.