Scenes, 21 Mai 2026

My morning walk was filled with lots of bunny sightings. Alas, not all the photos were in focus but a fair few were.

I managed to get some decent photos of birds too.

I saw a wood duck! The first I've seen here in Madison in ages. Sadly, I wasn't able to get a good snap.

Still nervous

I went to meet Willow at her fosters' home yesterday evening. While I had to crawl on the floor, I managed to get some good pets in. She comes home with me today and my ladyfriend knitted a couple new blankets for her cat carrier.

I AM GOING TO BE A CAT DAD AGAIN!

I have wet & dry chow, treats, a new house, a new bed, a new cardboard scratcher bed hoolie...what am I missing? I bought some litter and there are plenty of toys. A tree or 2 next as she'll need to keep an eye on things outside.

It will be so wonderful to have a cat once again to dispel the quiet and bring some life to my apartment. I shall come home from work to a friendly feline face instead of stillness. Maybe see a pointy eared outline staring at me when I open my eyes while in bed during the antelucan hours.

I need ham! Willow likes ham. What kind should I get her? Krakus? Black Forest? Ham ham? So much to do before I bring her home.

I AM GOING TO BE A CAT DAD AGAIN!

Coming soon, 17 May 2026

Seen before a screening of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. It's hard to believe that it was released 26 years ago. Will Hero and House of Flying Daggers return to cinemas too? The early and mid-2000s were a good time for wuxia.

We arrived a bit late and came in during the trailer for Supergirl.

Not sure why I cannot find a non-short version of this one.

...and noodles

A few people I know have raved about Taigu and their freshly-made noodles but I had never dined there until just a few days ago.

It was a bit weird to see what the interior of the old Knoche's grocery store had become.

Their flatware is gold-colored. I felt like an aristocrat.

We started with steamed edamame and my ladyfriend ordered beef noodles. The portions are, as she noted, Wisconsin-sized. That plate of noodles would prove to be at least 3 meals for her.

I sampled the noodles and they were very tasty indeed. Cooked al dente they were quite hearty and soaked up plenty of sauce.

I ordered the wonton soup along with a side of chili in oil.

Oh mama, it was good. It brought back warm memories of eating at the late, lamented Wah Kee. The only thing missing was more bok choy.

We'll be back.

Spreading the gospel

Here in Madison Memorial Day weekend means Bratfest while in Chicago it's about hot dogs. We are united by a common love of sausages. No ketchup!

Even fewer bare walls

Last weekend I picked up my prints from the frame shoppe and now they decorate some of my walls.

Bathroom:

I cannot wait to have toe beans at home once more.

My office:

I just adore this picture - birds, a cat, and snow. Lovely.

Finally, in my bedroom:

A lovely, natural woman with curvaceous hips and a big, beautiful beaver. Ha! Now, how long before my photo hosting service deletes it?

Nervous

This morning I am feeling nervous, feeling anxious for I am to meet this pretty lady this evening:

I hope she likes me. Nothing would please me more than to have a new feline friend in my life. Someone to come home to, someone to cuddle in bed. Look at those saucer eyes and all those tickler whiskers!

A meal months in the making

Several months ago a friend vowed to take me out for a steak dinner when my divorce was final. While my marriage was legally dissolved last week, it took a few days for our schedules to mesh with openings at The Tornado Room. It was worth the wait.

Our reservation was on the early side and the dining areas had not yet filled up with hungry patrons, although the bar was fairly well-populated. I almost had a glass of wine but instead ordered a beer. I noticed that the beer menu still had Schlitz on it. Get it while you can.

While the Riesling was tempting, I went with a Packerland Pilsner from Hinterland. I've always liked this brew and I found that it remained tasty and went well with our vorspeisen, shrimp cocktail.

Note the horseradish garnish on the sauce. The little extra zing was quite welcome.

The French onion soup was excellent, perhaps the best in town. The cheese was not merely melted but browned to perfection allowing me to revel in Maillard gluttony.

For the main course, I had a sirloin and green beans.

Grilled to perfection (medium), it was absolutely delicious and will go on to make for 3 meals before it is exhausted. The green beans were tasty too though I normally love giving them a generous shower of vinegar. The onion ring was thick and not overly battered.

Dessert was cheesecake. New York? I have not committed to memory the many varieties of cheesecake. The waiter had brought a candle with him thinking it was a birthday or anniversary. However, he lit it up anyway even after being told it was a meal to celebrate a divorce.

My ex-wife and I had dined at The Tornado Room a couple times and I was happy to find that the place wasn't tainted with memories of her and that dining there was a wonderful experience. Part of my divorce is about reclaiming places, songs, foods, traditions, et al from the clutches of a failed marriage and making them my own. A slow process but worth it. (However, I will likely never go to Everly again, though. Just driving by it makes me shudder.)

Song of the day, 20 Mai 2026

"Invisible Touch" is 40?!

Holy crap! Genesis released "Invisible Touch" as a single 40 years ago yesterday. I recall that day and my friend bought the 45 and we both liked the b-side, "In the Glow of the Night" better. Ha!

Scenes from a walk, 20 Mai 2026

My walk this morning began with squirrels in the tree next door looking down upon me. "Hooman!"

The trail along Starkweather Creek was just wonderful. Everything was so verdant and it smelled like summer.

Birds were everywhere. Even if I couldn't see them, I could hear them as the air was rife with song, calls, chirrups, and trilling which was a nice contrast to the morning commuters. I managed to get a few photos of our feathered friends that were in focus.

I am taking some tentative steps checking out the Carpenter-Ridgeway neighborhood. Today I found this lovely willow tree. Since none of my photos were quite what I was hoping they be, I intend to return. This is my favorite of today's bunch.

A couple closer to home on the home stretch.

Song of the day, 16 Mai 2026

The way of nature and the way of grace. You don't have to choose which one you'll follow.

When the Zoom call ended, I clapped and yelled "Woo hoo!" Not missing a beat I then raced into the living room and kissed the photograph of Piper on my living room wall as emotions swelled within me. I'd waited ten and a half months for this.

********

I almost didn't get divorced this week.

Less than 24 hours before our allotted hour in court, I received word that my wife was going to delay the final hearing unless she received information about some trusts of which I am a beneficiary. She had no right to any of the money in the trusts and had been aware of this for some time. This was ridiculous and extremely frustrating.

She claimed that she was unaware of one of the trusts despite the fact that I had listed it in a filing that was sent to her and her lawyer and filed with the court last autumn. That filing also answered another of her questions. Why was she doing this? Her excuse was for "full disclosure" but the only answer I could come up with was that this was her last hurrah, her final chance to harass me and spew her contempt.

I answered the questions as best I could that night and sat by my inbox the next morning like an expectant father. An email bearing bad news appeared saying that she had asked her lawyer to file whatever it is you'd file with the court to delay the hearing. My wife's lawyer was apologetic for and incredulous of her client's behavior.

I met my neighbor outside shortly after this and chatted with him briefly. I told him that my divorce was not going as well as hoped and he said he'd pray for me. He must have done so right away because an email came shortly thereafter in favor of the efficacy of intercessory prayer: my wife had finally agreed to hold the hearing today. It was close - maybe only an hour and a half before our scheduled time.

********

The hearing began a bit late as my wife had issues logging into the call. The court representative made sure that all of the needed paperwork had been filed. That being done, our lawyers then played 20 questions with each of us. When my wife answered her questions, the video switched to her face in full screen and I noticed how much she looked like her father. She had little, if any, make-up on which was a change from the past several months that we lived together when she would apply it very liberally. With closure now within our grasps, the haggling and bickering over, she looked pretty again to me. Pretty in a way she hadn't for a few years. It was very odd how my feelings had changed on such short order.

With the questions done, the court representative said that everything was in order and pronounced us ex-husband and ex-wife. Then we all left the call.

Despite my joy and relief, I couldn't help feel sad that this was all it took. A 15-minute Zoom call to end one of the most important relationships of my life. My marriage had been reduced to a mere contract, a contract with terms about money and nothing more. It felt anti-climactic and a bit demeaning. Shouldn't there be more of a to-do?

********

Piper should have been here for this, the finalization of my divorce. My plan had been to come home from court or log off the Zoom call, hold her in my arms, and then hug & kiss her excessively before looking into her lovely feline eyes and telling her that it was over, that we had survived my now ex-wife. Liberal application of treats would have followed and dinner for her that night would have been tuna AND salmon. Or perhaps something even more fancy. Gluttony would have been the order of the evening.

But she wasn't around for the big moment so kissing her picture would just have to do.

On the one hand I was happy that my wife had become my ex-wife and that the legal process of divorce had concluded but on the other I was sad. I was sad due to Piper's absence but also because I felt like I had two decades plus of memories that no longer served a purpose. That and I didn't want them anymore.

While there are definitely memories of my time with my ex-wife that I want to keep with me to my end, the ones of my wife, especially of the last three and a half years or so can go. We organize our lives in stories and years of those memories were for her and me to tell our story to each other as well as the people in our lives as we grew old. But our story had come to an end.

I've told the stories to my friends and family, they need not be told to a lawyer any longer - not that they ever did - they've just outlived their usefulness. But I am stuck with them.

********

I thought about my dearly departed cat as I stood outside waiting for my ride. It was so lovely out with the trees soaking up the life-giving rays of the sun while I missed Piper more than words can say.

Dinner was to be steak. Next week my new ladyfriend and I are going out to The Tornado Room for a fancy meal to celebrate my divorce - she promised to buy me a steak when it was finally over - and so this was merely a practice run.

I also had a fine lager beer and a salad dressed with Thousand Island, my brother's favorite. Both he and Piper may be gone but they've never left me.

After dinner my lady and I went to visit Piper.

The park was lovely and green, although it was yet to reach its peak verdant glory. We made our way to the arch where I had scattered Piper's ashes and I fell to my knees. I touched the ground and said hello to her.

"It's over, Pipey," I told her. "We survived {ex-wife's name}. I love you, Pipe. I miss you."

She should have been alive to witness this but at least I have a place to go to be with her in spirit.

********

The next day my ladyfriend and I went out for a traditional Wisconsin Friday fish fry along with the woman who had officiated my wedding ceremony. The place was hoppin' and the staff were earning their keep. It didn't take us long to find a booth and soon we were seated with our drinks waiting on the arrival of the fried ocean goodness.

The woman had joined my ex-wife and me nearly 11 years ago. It was her hug, kiss, and words of encouragement just a week or so after I was served papers that let me know I was wanted, that life would get better. Her kindness gave me hope and set me on a better path.

None of us were angry at my ex-wife despite the ways she had exited all our lives. A little sadness, perhaps, but, in the main, we were celebrating new lives, new possibilities. I found that, with my marriage truly over and with the work I did in the woods a couple weeks ago to free myself of anger, I wished peace and happiness for my ex-wife. As our marriage spiraled downwards to divorce, I extended a lot of grace to her and I found that I was still willing to do so.

My friend was happy for me and it seemed a fitting bookend for the person who had created my union with my ex-wife to raise a toast to its end.