Defacing a Stain = Fine

How am I supposed to take the beliefs of Catholics seriously when they worship a stain on a concrete wall? And how am I supposed to take the media seriously when they use headlines like "Man charged with defacing Virgin Mary image"? OK, Mr. & Ms. Media. If you walk into a Catholic Church, you'll see images of the Virgin Mary. If you went to that underpass in Chicago before it got painted over, you'd have seen a stain on a wall. It's not an image, it's a stain. And for you Catholics that went there to worship and pray that a stain (a fucking stain!) would cure you of cancer, try a little experiment: find a waify womyn. Have her stand in front of you.



Now compare what she looks like to that stain. Can you see the differences? Now, look at the stain. Then look at a painting - an artistic representation of your Mary.



How can you in all honesty say they look the same? The stain looks like these representations because you want them to! How hard is it to understand this? This stain did not look like a person. It did not come close to conforming to human morphology. Is is stupidity? Desperation? What is it? I ask because I'm curious how your minds got so debased as to think that divinity makes itself known to you via salt stains on underpasses in Chicago. Why not manifest yourself in, say, The Vatican? I mean, that Pope guy is Christ's Vicar on Earth, after all. Right? One would think that The Vatican would be hyperwelcoming and an ultra-safe place for Mary to go. No cardinal is gonna deface her with shoe polish there. Why not be a marinara sauce stain on a papal tablecloth, for example?

And why do these people only see divinity in banal, stupid shit? Is Mary up in the Firmament Blue saying, "Ya know, I'd like to see my face on toast today"? Why do these people never go over to a sugar maple. "Hi Mister Sugar Maple. You too are one of God's glorious creations. You give us sap so we can make syrup for our pancakes, you give us shade in the summer, you take the carbon dioxide out of air that my car which gets 10 miles to the gallon put in there, and, to top things off, you made nice coffee tables. Being so useful, you are truly proof of God's great power and wisdom!" But no. They light candles and pray to pieces of toast and salt stains on walls.

If anything, the stain most closely resembles a vulva.



Praying to stains on walls does not cure cancer. Your body does this, normally in conjunction with a doctor and his/her treatments. And as for that chucklehead who defaced it, Bubba, why did you put a swastika there? Are you a moron? We don't need Nazi symbols on walls. This is not about Nazism or genocide or war. Try to be a little more selective in how you deface walls next time and leave the stupidity at home. Otherwise you're just like the people who venerate the stains you deface.