Passion of the Sith (SPOILERS)

I had a little time to blow before heading over to Point for the midnight show of Revenge of the Sith so I grabbed a bite to eat at the Old Town Pub. I then drove over to the cinema and found a lengthy line snaking around the building all the way around back. I parked and hit the back of the line. I saw one person in full Stormtrooper garb, several Darth Vader masks, the occasional geek hottie dressed as Leia, and even one Han Solo. The line went pretty quickly as I read The Onion. All at once, the line stopped as we were about halfway to the entrance. I didn't mind too much, though, as I was going to see a film that I had been waiting to see for over two decades. Well, until it started raining, that is. The rain came down and we stood there in a line that moved not at all. I contemplated running to my car and getting my umbrella but, after realizing that I'd lose my place in line, I opted the wetter route. While it was no fun being rained upon, it wasn't a flash flood or anything. After about half an hour, the things started moving again and soon I was inside the sterile but warm confines of the multiplex. I found a seat towards the front and dead center. There was still some time left before we were to be subjected to an hour's worth of Pepsi commercials and trailers so I sat there quietly pondering.

The first thing that popped into my mind was how much I was going to miss the anticipation for this film. I mean, I was one of those dorky kids that argued with other dorky at the back of the school bus about whether or not Darth Vader was really Luke's father. Other topics included: the possibility of Leia being Luke's sister, the nature of The Force, and just what did Vader looked like underneath that helmet? Star Wars has been an interest or obsession for most of my life. I saw the films during my childhood,talked about them, quoted them, slept on Star Wars bedsheets, and drank from cups emblazoned with the films' logos. Going to college didn't change the situation all that drastically. I still talked about the films, quoted them, and watched them multiple times on video, often times while playing a drinking game and/or stoned. And now, as an adult, I watch the films on DVD, go to midnight showings of the prequels, I talk about the finer points of The Force, critique the cinematography with my dorky film-geek friends, and, after more than two decades, finally own a Star Wars-related t-shirt. (It's of Darth Maul.)

I'm not sure why millions and millions of people around the globe love Star Wars. Frankly, I don't know exactly why I do either. It probably has something to do with light saber duels and dogfights in space and big furry aliens wielding laser crossbows and a bad ass in black who breathes loudly and the mystery of The Force and...frankly, it doesn't matter too much. What I do know is how heated those discussions were on the back of the bus. I know how my breathing stopped as the Emperor got all medieval on Luke's ass in Return of the Jedi and how is started again once the Emperor was securely dead at the bottom of that air shaft hoolie. I know that I nearly burst from anticipation as Luke worked as slowly as he could to take off Vader's helmet. I know that tears came to my eyes watching the pitiful creature inside die and his body burn atop the pyre. Despite having seen Anakin's face and several mysteries having been solved, there still remained the question of how Anakin became Vader. Fans knew that George Lucas planned a 9 film series but, in 1983, we only had the middle three. How Anakin became Vader was the big mystery. It trickled down that there were Clone Wars and that he fought Obi Wan and fell into a lava pit, becoming disfigured. OK, but we wanted to see it. Sixteen years of anticipation followed before the first prequel, The Phantom Menace, was released and we fans found ourselves on the way to seeing the genesis of Darth Vader. And so, as I sat there last night, I thought about how a 25+ year odyssey was about to end and that all would soon be revealed. There would be no more Star Wars films. No more anticipation of the next chapter of the story. The mysteries of Darth Vader would be laid out for all to see. All the questions that I argued about as a kid would be answered. Right or wrong, for better or for worse, sane or insane, it felt like the loss of a friend, of sorts, approached.

When the lights finally did go down, this was greeted by a round of applause and cheers as the trailers started. We saw previews of War of the Worlds, Batman Begins, Fantastic Four, and Narnia. Batman looked slightly interesting but Narnia looked cool. War of the Worlds looked generic while I've learned to loathe most films based on comic books. Finally, the familiar words appeared on the screen: "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..." And a little over two hours later I walked out of a mostly hushed cinema. So what did I think of Revenge of the Sith?

Before I go into it, let me play Joey Apostate and say that I honestly enjoyed The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. Sure, I could have done without Jar Jar Binks and the explanation of The Force as being composed of microbial creatures called mitochlorians was stupid but I enjoyed the films. Qui-Gon was cool as was Darth Maul. So was Jengo Fett, for that matter. Getting to my point, I thought Sith was great! Unlike the first 2 films, I knew what was going to happen, I knew that Anakin would become Vader and that that was the big attraction. I even know how but I still could barely contain my aniticipation throughout the film. I honestly enjoyed every minute of it, even the cheesy romance parts between Anakin and Padme. It was basically a collection of great action scenes punctuated by some intense drama as Anakin got drawn into the Dark Side of The Force.

Anakin's decent starts slowly here. The first thing we see are two small fighters with Anakin and Obi-Wan heading towards the evil Gereral Grievous's ship wherein Senator Palpatine is hostage. The 2 fighters glide smoothly over a larger Battle cruiser type ship. Weaving and rolling as if they were out for a joy ride. The camerawork is tight and all you see are the tiny fighters and the giant battle cruiser. Then they roll down away from the cruiser towards the surface of Coruscant and the vista opens to reveal hundreds of ships engaged in a massive battle. A fantastic opening! With the help of R2, the boys find the chamber in which Palpatine is being held. There they once again meet Count Dooku, played by the inimitable Christopher Lee. Obi-Wan is knocked out during the confrontation but Anakin comes through. First he cuts off one of the Count's hands and then he gets all medieval on Dooku by doing the super-dual-light-saber-scissor-action decapitation on his ass. We all knew this was to be a dark movie but this was only a taste. I guess no one really know just how dark it would be.

My friends here at work and I were all rooting for Anakin. I was surprised at just how much I was saying to myself, "Oh no. Don't do it! Don't let Palpatine get to you! Just let Mace Windu dispatch with his ass and let the Jedi Council restore the Republic!" This despite the fact that I know what's gonna happen. We all know that Anakin is seduced by the Dark Side. Here's how: Padme is preggo with their kid (or kids, as we know) and Anakin starts having dreams or visions of Padme's death during childbirth. The Jedi are supposed to be celibate so their lovechild is a secret. So here's Anakin, he's got this prophecy about him bringing harmony to the Force and the galaxy on his shoulders, he lost his mother, and he's an expectant father also expecting to lose his wife. And all the Jedi can tell him is this line that love and emotions distract you from your fealty to the Force. Palpatine, on the other hand, gets all paternal and tells Anakin a story about a Sith Lord - Darth Plagius - who could use the Force to create life and that, basically, he had that power. There's also this intimation that Anakin, being a virgin birth, was the result of such a use of the Force. Just before Anakin turns to the Dark Side, he and Kenobi part ways and tell one another, "May the Force be with you." We in the audience know that this would be the last time the two men would be together on friendly terms. In a later scene, Palpatine reveals himself as a Sith Lord to Anakin who promptly reports this to the Jedi, Mace Windu, specifically. Windu takes 3 other Jedi over to Palpatine's chamber to arrest him. Of course Palpatine fights them. He immediately kills 3 of the Jedi and it's left to Windu to take care of things. And he does. He duels with the senator and knocks the lightsaber from his hand. With Palpatine lying supine before a large hole where a window used to be, Windu prepares to finish him off. But in a second, that funky blue lightning is shooting from Palpatine's hands. But Windu, being the super badass Jedi Master, absorbs it with his lightsaber. Once again, Palpatine seems to be at Windu's mercy. Anakin then bursts in and all at once, lops off Windu's hand. Another round of blue lightning catches Windu and he is thrown out the opening to his death. Anakin, being stuck between a rock and a hard place, chooses the Dark Side in order to save his wife, Padme. The Emperor would go on to convince Anakin that the Jedi were attempting to take over the Senate and sends Anakin out to hunt down and kill all Jedi. He does so and even mercilessly kills all the Younglings, the children who are Jedi-in-training. Order 66 is given to the clones who had some kind of program bred into them and they kill the Jedi who are not on Coruscant. Anakin has forsaken the Good and joined the Dark Side in order to save his pregnant wife. I've read many reviews which complain about the moral simplicity in the film and there's some merit to this. But the moral choices facing Anakin are anything but black & white. Should he remain loyal to the Jedi despite their insistence that all Jedi remain celibate? Depite the fact that they refuse to make him a Jedi Knight? What really is best for the Republic? What should he do for his wife and children? How can he balance all of these concerns? And much has been made of the Emperor as an analogue of George Bush. I sincerely doubt that was Lucas' intention as most of the story here in Sith was conceived back in the late 1970s. In any case, Emperor Palpatine is more like Karl Rove than Bush. Like Rove, Palpatine is scheming and is patient enough to let his subterfuges take all the time they need to unfold as planned. The political commentary here is kept to a minimum. And in any case, it resembles more the transition of ancient Rome from a republic to an empire than a simulacrum of present day America. But interpret as you will.

With my heart pounding in anticipation of the final showdown between Obi-Wan and Anakin, we're treated to a wonderful fight between Kenobi and General Grievous. Plus Wookies, including Chewbacca! As the Obi-Wan/Anakin showdown begins, a parallel duel between Yoda and the Emperor starts as well with Yoda confronting him in his office. The short, green Jedi walks into the Emperor's chamber and Force-pushes the 2 Imperial Guards, who are clad in all red just as in Jedi, against the wall and knocks them out. This leads to a fantastic duel between the two masters of opposite sides of the Force. Light sabers and Force pushes and blue lightning and those floating Senate chairs being hurled around and----it was just cool!

Meanwhile back on the lava planet of Mustafar, Anakin and Obi-Wan battle it out. Their fight is absolutely fucking classic! It was just so intense. The maniacal look of evil in Anakin's eyes, the flashing and crackling of the light sabers - it was just great. Obi-Wan admits to failing Anakin while Anakin, in return, professes his disdain for Obi-Wan. Finally, they are both standing on this little hovering platform above a lava floe. Obi-Wan leaps to an island of rock. He warns Anakin not to jump as he has the high ground. Anakin does so anyway and Obi-Wan lops off his legs and, I think his other arm. Anakin is writhing in anger and pain while Obi-Wan curses Fate. Slowly what's left of Anakin slides back towards the floe. Near the shore, the stubs of his legs catch fire and soon his whole body is aflame. He screams in pain...The look in Anakin's eyes as he screams, "I HATE YOU!" is chilling…

Whew! Go see it for yourself. My only quibbles really are that there are too many very brief scenes which take like 30 seconds to reveal something before being wiped away to the next one. The very end of the film is particularly bad as Lucas struggled to answer all the questions of episodes 4-6, such as Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Anakin return in phastasm form. Still, it's not too big of a deal as seeing Anakin kill without mercy and finally end up with no natural limbs and being burned alive more than makes up for this. Also at the very end we see Anakin rescued by Palpatine and made into the Vader we know and love. His missing limbs are replaced with mechanical ones and the black suit is pieced together. Finally, there's a close-up of the mask being put on. It locks into place and is sealed. Then comes Vader's first mechanical breath. Shortly after this, we see Vader along with the Emperor and even a young Grand Moff Tarkin aboard a Star Destroyer looking out at the framework of the Death Star. Meanwhile, Yoda goes into self-imposed exile while Luke and Leia are born and sent to Alderaan and Tatooine, respectively. Oh, and we see Wedge's father too!