99 Bottles of Beer on the Floor

On Tuesday I got my act together and bottled my precious bier. While the process took hours, most of the time was taken up on washing bottles and sterilizing equipment. Plus there was that 20-minute stretch of trying to figure out the siphon pump. A call to the owner of the pump proved fruitless but Stevie was able to find a picture on the Net. There I was trying to attach a hose to the wrong end.

I ran the bottles through the dishwasher before sterilizing them in bleach.



Soon I had my caps soaking, the parts of the pump, and tubing. Once everything was sterile and dry, I went downstairs and grabbed my bucket o'beer. I pulled out the fermentation lock and then proceeded to pry the lid off. I discovered that I should really buy a lid-pryer-offer because it was a nice tight seal and the lid dug into my fingers. That and there's less chance of spillage using one than if I'm yanking on the thing.



As the lid peeled off, I could smell the barley-y, yeasty goodness inside. As the aroma hit more of my olfactory receptors, a new smell emerged - bananas. This was no bit of phantosmia and could only mean one thing: esters. Somewhere along the way, my poor bier underwent a second fermentation due to a wild yeast infection.

I didn't think it to be a total deal-breaker so I proceeded with the bottling. I want to see this, my first attempt at brewing, through to conclusion even if I end up with salad dressing. Hell, if worse comes to worse, I'll have some tasty malt vinegar that I can use for French fries. I was presented with a bit of a conundrum, though. The directions for the kit said to put sugar into each bottle for fermentation while the book I have says to boil the sugar in a pint of water and add it to the beer. (This is called "priming" the beer.) The book also cautioned against adding the sugar to the bottle as it would increase the chances of contaminating the batch as well as introducing more air into it. Dealing with sterilizing a spoon and trying to consisently get 3/4 of a teaspoon or whatever amount it was seemed like a needless hastle. So I dissolved the sugar in water and boiled for 5 minutes because it was easier and would provide a more consistent product. Unfortunately, the book doesn't say exactly how much sugar to use nor at what temperature this mix should be at when added to the beer. So I went with 3/4 of a cup of sugar because the book mentioned that figure most often and decided that room temperature would probably be best as it seemed least likely to cause a major temperature fluctuation. (A conversation at work with Ed confirmed that this was the correct thing to do.) And so I added the primer and stirred slowly with my sterilized spatula lest I introduce more air into the bier. And then it was time to bottle.



I got the pump going and found a good spot on the hose to crimp so I could one-hand it. If I hadn't lost control of the hose at one point while pumping, I wouldn't have had any bier on the floor whatsoever. As it was, however, the filler got out of control briefly and some bier did end up on the floor.

A lesson learned was to have two (2) people around for bottling as it surely makes the process go a lot more smoothly. One person can fill and the other can cap. Not that it took a long time to do it alone, mind you, but easier it would have been. (Pardon my Yodaese here.) Here is my first bottle:





At this very moment, the priming sugar and the yeast are making carbon dioxide via an intermediate product of the Krebs cycle. Or something like that, anyway. The upshot is that my ale is conditioning itself in cases underneath a counter in my kitchen and will be there until next Tuesday at which point the bier will be ready for consumption or further aging in the basement.

I learned a few lessons along the way on this, my first attempt at brewing. Firstly, I need to be super-mega-hyper-vigilant on sterilization. I've got this nagging feeling that I didn't sterilize this quart jar I was using for measuring water. Along this line, I need to get another bucket or perhaps a tub like those that restaurants use for busing tables. This will make the whole sterilization process quicker by having more volume but also easier in that larger containers can accommodate the pieces of the pump and other larger bits. Secondly, figure out the wort chiller. I honestly don't know why my bier was so laden with esters but I'm thinking that the wort might have been too hit when I pitched the yeast. So chilling the wort quicker would be a good thing and five gallons should only take a few minutes with it. Lastly, as I mentioned above, get a second pair of (sterile) hands involved in the bottling process. If friends are going to enjoy the fruits, they oughta do some labor, I say!

Of course, this first round of brewing is not offically done until next week when the beer has been carbonated and is ready for drinking. But it's been a fun learning process so far. Another part of the satisfaction I feel was articulated very well in the latest issue of the Great Lakes Brewing news by the editor:

Beer is all about tradition and history. Ever since someone left a bowl of half-eaten porridge out in the rain and found it 3 days later - then ate/drank it - beer has been a part of many human cultures. So whenever a brewer mashes in, there's a subtle connection with the past, with brews of old, with thousands of years of brewers, cup and tankard hoisters, aching muscle relief, local gatherings, ceremony, and celebration.

Through my dad I get my English and German blood and there is no doubt in my mind that I am not the first in my family to stand over a pot of boiling wort or to feel impatient as some homebrew carbonates. My father was never a big beer drinker. There was always Old Style around the house when I was a kid but he drank this as it was refreshing when working outside on the house on a hot summer's day. He was into distilled spirits, namely, vodka. He was definitely a D.I.Y./jack-of-all-trades kind of guy. In addition to being a handyman, he loved to garden and to cook. He made is own wine & vinegar and he canned. And so, while he never brewed beer to my knowledge, I'm definitely following in his footsteps here.