Fearful Symmetries

Witness a machine turn coffee into pointless ramblings...

29 July, 2004


Distraction. Pure and simple. I really do have a lot that I'd like to write about but I never seem to get into the writing mood for some reason.

Work is boring. I'm sitting here and that is first & foremost on my mind. The job is easy and not particularly busy. But I'll be reading and getting really into it when the phone rings. On top of it all, this is the worst hell desk I've ever worked on. I mean, they give you just a smitten of training and a pittance of resources with which to do your job. I have to put people on hold constantly so I can get up and wander around trying to find someone who's been here longer than I who isn't already on a call.

On the bright side, my contract here is only for another month so the insanity may not last much longer. Also of good tidings, Gina forwarded my resume upwards and onwards at her second place of employment. I think the job title is Systems Support Specialist. With a title like that, you know it's nothing spectacular but it could be a gig where I am not tied to the phone. Plus I have no future here - I am just here in case of a strike or lock-out. I am a measley contractor. It would be nice to actually be hired by someone so I'd have benefits again and whatnot. I was going to bring in Sunday's classifieds but completely spaced on it. But there's always plenty of online job boards to peruse.

Since it's been so slow here, I've been emailing myself e-books to read. And to proofread. OCR technology ain't perfect, ya know. The past week or so I've read Dude, Where's My Country? & Downsize This! by Michael Moore and Bill Maher's When You Ride Alone. Now I'm in the middle of Greg Palast's The Best Democracy Money Can Buy. Palast is a reporter best known for his expose on the Florida election scandal in 2000 and that's what this book is about. He's the main source for Moore's rants in print and on celluoid about Bush being an illegitimate president. Reading such stuff is simultaneously depressing and angering. Corruption, lying, greed, and lots of little people getting fucked over royally. On top of this, I've been listening to the audio book of Ron Suskind's The Price of Loyalty when I got to bed. Such things don't really put me in a mood to deal with corporate bullshit.

I turned 32 on Tuesday. Not particularly different than 31, truth be told. After I got home, I started troubleshooting the home computer of some manager here who enlisted my services. Then The Dulcinea came over after dusk. And she came bearing gifts. Got some chocolate, a bunch of condoms, a condom in chocolate, and a toy. To top things off, I got blowjob while the toy was used on me. So, all in all, an extremely nice set of gifts. As I laid there relaxing, I began to fall asleep. But The Dulcinea would have none of it. She began fiddling with my naughty bits and got only minimal response. Then she pulled out the lube and got the reaction she sought. One second she is lying next to me with a hand between my legs and the next she is on top of me putting my member inside her. My brain came to its senses and I got into the swing of things.

This was 2 days ago and I'm jonesing for more sex. Then I read a favorite's diary earlier this morning and read that she hasn't been laid in months. I felt badly for her but also extremely lucky to be getting regular nookie. But it's not enough. Oh! I should also mention that I feel exceedingly lucky that, after The Dulcinea and I had our conversation, that she is still wanting me around. Most of you gals said that you couldn't be in a relationship consisting purely of casual sex without emotionally connection. I didn't think she could either but I guess she has found a bit of peace with it. But I know this is all on borrowed time so I must get my arse in gear and seek out a new dulcinea. I think I'll call her my Inamorata. Long hair - I've been getting fired up to be able to run my fingers through a nice, long mane. Seeing these womyn on the street with their hair blowing in the wind - it drives me crazy.

This is how my brain has been lately - wavering between deep, heady thoughts of politics & morals and pure, unadulterated musings of fornication. Quite a contrast.

Oh! Prof. Martin replied that he'd be keen on doing that radio interview so I've gotta apply for a time slot with WORT and do some creative scheduling.
|| Palmer, 10:22 AM || link || (0) comments |

21 July, 2004

Nigh Is the End

Dinner was tasty last night. I cooked up those jalapeno/bacon brats and picked up some potato salad from the coop. The Dulcinea stopped by in the late evening and we had dinner. She was frisky while I was tired but we headed upstairs to the friendly confines of my room anyway. Post-prandial lethargy abetted by the heat and humidity set in quickly but we managed to get the ball rolling. Once she had given me a stiffy, I asked if she had brought Petunia. She said that it had been under my bed since the weekend. I was blissfully ignorant of this fact. So I asked if she would use it on me and she agreed. (Petunia is a small anal dildo and I must say that it was fun to have a woman use it on me while she also manually pleasured my stiffness.)

After all the naughtiness, she wanted to get serious and find out where she stood and how I felt about our relationship. For her part, she explained how she was totally confused about us and her life generally. For my part, I was honest and said that I like her and care for her but have no intentions of getting into a serious or long-term relationship with her or anyone. What I liked about our relationship as it stood was that it was fun, involved lots of sex, was open & loose, and non-committal. This was exactly what how she thought I felt. To boot, she felt (or at least wanted) our relationship wasn’t as non-committal as I thought it was. In fact, she thought that she was falling in love with me a couple weeks ago but did her best to stop the decent.

The upshot here is that it seems like my summer soiree is close to, if not at, its end. Well, it has been a fun month and a half.
|| Palmer, 10:15 AM || link || (0) comments |

20 July, 2004

I Need Friday Off

God daily! Jay Farrar is gonna be on Air America and I'm gonna miss it!

Jay will appear on Air America’s “Unfiltered” (www.airamericaradio.com) this Friday, July 23rd from 11:15 am – 11:45 am. He will play “Doesn’t Have to Be This Way” as well as take part in a short interview with Lizz Winstead.

Keep an eye out for an article regarding music and politics in USA Today. It is scheduled to print on the cover of the Life section on Monday, July 26. Jay was interviewed for the story. In addition, Jay was also interviewed for Relix’s Sept/October cover story about music & activism.
|| Palmer, 10:15 AM || link || (0) comments |
All the Wrong Places

Last week I heard some gossip from my former place of employment, namely, that an ex-girlfriend of mine had miscarried. I was told that she was six months pregnant and, from what The Dulcinea told me, this is later than most miscarriages. Apparently the ex has become very depressed and basically keeps to herself and to her tears. Upon hearing the news, I felt very ambivalent. Part of me was very saddened. But another part of me reveled in schadenfreude. The Tetragrammaton, despite all of our differences and the immense amount of pain and suffering we put each other through, is a good person. So part of me hated to hear that news. On the other hand, there’s still that part of me that thinks of her has a lying, cheating bitch and took some pleasure out of her misery.

While her account of our relationship would differ from mine and both of them together would approximate a truth, I must say that, when I think of her & I, I think primarily of her starting a relationship with another guy while she and I were living together. The Tetragrammaton would go on to marry Dimmesdale, as I call him, and have her field plowed by him. But, as I noted above, her crop died. So part of me feels bad for feeling good about it while another feels bad for feeling bad.

I think that this came to mind after having read an entry by a fave which talked about power washing away bad memories and the like. Yes, I do read everyone even though I don’t note as often as I should. A couple people left notes asking why I think my relationship with The Dulcinea would only last through the summer, so let me address that.

I honestly have no idea how long it will last. Considering my past record in such matters, I should think not much longer. Hence my comment about hoping it would last through the summer. From various comments, I suspect that she is more attached to me than I am to her. She is, after all, in media res of ending her marriage so there is more than a little loneliness and neediness on her part. And my part as well. But she knows that I am not looking for a long-term relationship nor to be a surrogate father to her children. How much of a problem these will be for a relationship primarily about sex remains to be seen. Whatever the case, I am on the lookout for another fraulein.

This seems a bit odd to me considering most of my friends are married, in a long-term relationship, or seeking to be in either. (Before I forget, I will mention that Lush has plowed Wendy’s field and a good crop looks to be on the way. I should call and find out when the due date is as well as add my congratulations.) Reading people’s diaries here compounds the strangeness of it all. So many people working towards love or longing to be in that position. And here I sit wanting only to find a woman shorter than The Dulcinea with longer hair and smaller breasts. Don’t ask. It just seems that I crave that petite flavor. And lusty. Lusty and petite.
|| Palmer, 10:12 AM || link || (0) comments |
Office Droning

This morning has been very slow. Hellaciously so. I’ve been here 45 minutes and taken only one call. Of course, now that I write this, we’ll be inundated but so it goes.

Last night was slothy. I ate dinner and watched Rob Roy. What a fucking great flick! Liam Neeson was good’n’all, but it was Tim Roth and John Hurt who stole the show. Roth as Archibald was classic! He was so weasely and evil and…he does a great Gary Oldman impression. And Hurt as Montrose – the best insults. It was funny how the film seemed to portray Scots as a bunch of honorable and extremely horny people. Rob and Mary were very naughtyAfter that, I set Agent to download some stuff which I cannot remember right now. I know I snagged a slew of e-books and audio books but I can’t recall which ones. Oh! There were a buncha Mark Twain stories involved – I remember that much. We’ll see when I get home. Then Tyrone came over. He borrowed some money from me and wrote some company checks. With monetary matters done, we sat around for a while and chewed the fat.

He first told me that Jim, a business partner of ours, had made some stupid comments after he was told that we’re gonna join MAGNET, an LGBT business networking organization. (Tyrone is gay, you see.) Apparently Jim said crap like, “As long as they know we only fix computers” and “…unless they’re 2 lesbians…”. Um…yeah. The next thing Tyrone tells me is that he’s gonna be an uncle again. Just not via his sister-in-law. His brother has been having an affair with a friend’s wife and now she’s pregnant. The cuckolded hubby is a man of little character as he beats his kids and his wife as well, presumably. Anyway, Tyrone wants to adopt his nephew as his brother is being divorced and the kid will have a complete fuck-up for a father and likely be beaten. Tyrone is as married as gay folks can be in this state to a nice guy named Andy. I was at their “wedding”. Andy works as a teacher/day care person (I dunno these job titles.) Tyrone has a good job. And their hound, Max, is a fun-loving black Lab. So, in many ways, they’re a good fit for adoption. The only problem is the fact that they’re gay and they worry that this will count against them in the application process. I’ve emailed Ronaldo as he kinda sorta works in this area to find out if he knows of any resources or anyone who can offer advice.

After Tryone left, I caught most of a documentary on the Sundance Channel called Detained. The film profiles the lives of 4 Palestinian women living in Hebron on the West Bank. There were some interesting bits such as the extreme ambivalence of these women towards the Jews. In one interview, they’ll say that they don’t hate the Jews and just want everyone to lead good lives. Then, when Israeli soldiers station themselves on the roof of the women’s apartment building and urinate on the roof, leave messes, etc., the interviews turn sour and the womyn curse, not only the soldiers, but Jews generally. Asking God to kill them all and the like. But other parts of the film bog down. The womyn bitch about being widows and then bitch about their husbands. That got old really quickly. Overall, though, it was a good film and I got a glimpse into a world about which I know virtually nothing.

In other news, The Dulcinea wants to do some cooking this week. We’ll see when. I have this weird feeling that I’ve committed myself to doing something with someone tonight but have no idea who or what. Tomorrow we’re gonna see Life of Brian and then I go to The Pollack’s on Thursday to get his new laptop up and running.

I’m getting fairly serious about putting up my own web page. I keep telling myself to do so but I never seem to actually contact a hosting service. And I also keep telling myself to take pictures of stuff to post on this website but I never do. This weekend I hope to find motivation. Get some snaps of the farmer’s market and some from the boat while I’m out on the lakes. Perhaps some of the coffeeshops and various places of interest around town. Anything you regular readers can think of?
|| Palmer, 10:12 AM || link || (0) comments |

19 July, 2004


My arms and thighs are sore. Andy decided to buy a couple jet skis last week and I got to ride one around on Saturday. Life is rough, lemme tell ya. *sarcasm* I never thought it would be such good exercise but you've gotta hang on and use your legs as shock absorbers so you don't plop around. As I was cruising by the student union, the Miami Vice theme song popped into my head.
So I got to spend some time on the lakes this weekend. The Dulcinea came out too and plied her naughtiness. When I was driving, she came to the back of the boat while everyone else was up front or on the jet ski. She'd spread her legs and pull aside her bikini bottom to flash me her naughty bits. Afterwards, we all went to the Naughti-Gal and had dinner. Sunday morning was basically a carnal interlude until Ronaldo called to ask if I had any DVD burning software. I got up and made breakfast for myself while The Dulcinea slept. I'm surprised her muscles didn't atrophy as she laid in bed until after noon. I burned some software for Ronaldo and got my butt in gear.

Breakfast was a sandwich consisting of thick-sliced bacon from a local farm and 10-year aged cheddar on a couple slices of spicy cheese bread from a local bakery. I went to the Farmer's Market on Saturday, you see. I was hoping to meet up with Miss Rosie but never found her. Getting there at 6:30, I got coffee and listened to Catfish Stephenson who was playing on the sidewalk. I bought one of his CDs and chatted with him for a bit. We were joined by a middle-aged woman who loved music as well. She was from out-of-town so we did our best to make her feel welcome. I bought the aforementioned cheese, bread, and bacon as well as a loaf of Tuscan flatbread, lots of jam, and some jalapeno-bacon brats. I am really looking forward to having one of those. Oh, I got some zucchini and yellow squash as well. The jam stand was a hoot. The girl there was all of 18 years old and she fed me samples. I'd never had garlic jam before but, after tasting it, came to the conclusion that it will taste mighty fine on a pork roast or something similar. I made the Yemiser Selatta (Ethiopian lentil salad) and it turned out well. Nothing fancy. The key is to let it sit overnight so that the marriage of the flavors can be consummated. And oh were they ever! The chilies and garlic mixed with the vinegar making it quite delicious.

Marv had to cancel gaming yesterday as it was his sister Bethany's birthday. In lieu of this, I went and bought a couple magazine files and some software. I picked up the Encyclopedia Brittanica on DVD and Baldur's Gate II. BG II is a Dungeons & Dragons game that I've threatened to play but never have. And I just thought it would be cool to have an encyclopedia on my PC. In addition, I seriously perused the Sunday ads as I'm now in the market for a laptop. Of course the one I really want is priced at more than I'm willing to pay. I wanna have one to take around to coffeeshops so I can write but I'd also like to keep it around the house so arguments about stuff can be settled by looking up stuff on the Net. Basically it'll be a handy reference tool. I'll be able to do email, look up recipes while still in the kitchen, etc. And I'll throw some ebooks onto it so it will also be a library, of sorts. Christ am I a dork.
OK. 3.5 hours left of work. Maybe I'll make that cheesecake tonight...
|| Palmer, 10:11 AM || link || (0) comments |

16 July, 2004


Only about an hour and a half left til the weekend! Because I’m feeling frisky, I’ll take you back to Wednesday.

Work was work but The Dulcinea came over Wendesday evening. Since our relationship was built on a strong sexual foundation, we had sex almost immediately. She ended up on top. It went well until my body miscommunicated with itself. Half of my reproductive system thought it had an orgasm while the other half didn’t. And so I got all flaccid without have ejaculated or orgasmed (is that a verb?). We laid there for a short while hugging, kissing, afterglowing – when the conversation took a turn to the naughty and I told her that I wanted to come on her. She agreed as long as none got in her eyes. So I jumped up and kneeled over her. At the end of it all, her eyes were spared.

In return she made me buy dinner for her which ended up being Jamaican. Apparently she’d had a hankering for jerk pork all week. During dinner we watched part of a really horrible movie with Queen Latifah, whom The Dulcinea has a crush on. Then the “Bambi” episode of The Young Ones. Then it was back upstairs where we used my last condom. I was on top this time with The Dulcinea’s legs pointing straight up into the air. She was jealous of my view and whispered that she wants me to photograph my member going inside of her so she can see it too.

Naughty she is.

I only hope that this lasts until September. Just another month and a half is all I ask of the Fates. Then she can drop me like a rock as women always do.

More later including the memorial service – I really need to write about it.
|| Palmer, 10:10 AM || link || (0) comments |

14 July, 2004

I'm In the Age of the Buggles

OK - I did it. I emailed a philosophy professor down at DePaul University in Chicago by the name of Bill Martin. He's written a book about the music of Yes and another about the history or progressive rock. What I did was to ask him if he'd be keen on doing a radio show with me here. Our local community radio station, WORT, has a program called The Access Hour where anyone in the community can come in and do a show. I'd do one even if Mr. Martin passes on the offer but I think that it would be a hoot!
|| Palmer, 10:10 AM || link || (0) comments |

It is difficult for me to describe just how thrilled I was to leave work yesterday. Ever have one of those days when it's slow enough to be boring yet busy enough to be distracting? At least I got an invite from the on-site manager of my contracting company to go have cocktails. Apparently they go to a brew pub just a short drive from here every Thursday. Then I later ran into another guy from the group who told me that they go on Mondays as well. Now THAT'S the kind of things I expect from IT work. Most of the people in my department are middle-aged with kids so there's no time for them to go c-tailing after work.

I got home yesterday and installed MapPoint 2004 while I awaited a call from The Caffeinatrix. She eventually did so and we had dinner together at The Harmony. It had been a while since I'd seen her long enough to have a chat of any substance. We shared stories and she gave me lots of shite about dating The Dulcinea. The Caffeinatrix refers to her as "The Wife" and her kids as mine. I tried telling The Caffeinatrix that my relationship with The Dulcinea wasn't a precursor for anything serious. No marriage or kids for me. It was about sex. I also told her that I'm looking for another fraulein - someone to have on the bench, so to speak. But she would have none of it. I was accused of looking for a long-term partner, a serious relationship, etc. Honestly, I'm not. Maybe I'll feel that way in the near future but, for now, I just want the fornication. In fact, I want more.

When I'm driving around, I of course gawk at all the pretty frauleins. I find that I get really turned-on by long hair. It's been that way for a long time but, since The Dulcinea has short hair, I am going even more ga-ga over lengthy manes. Going through campus after work - I'm like a kid in a candy store. All these co-eds in 2-piece bikinis laying out on the lawn of the Kohl Center or hotties out jogging. In my mind, they run in slow motion as I stare at their breasts bouncing up and down. I need to find another divorcee. Preferably a nullipara in her late 20s. And for some reason I've taken on a prediliction for blondes recently. Very odd...

After dinner, it was off to Ronaldo's place to take a peek at his ailing computer. Windoze XP Home has taken a serious digger and he needs to get a file off of the 'puter for work. So I grabbed that in addition to a few books which he gave me. To top things off, he bestowed a 6-pack of various locally-brewed beers and green bud. We stood in the street shooting the shit for a while once everything was in my car. Some honey on a bicycle rode by and he and I both turned our heads staring at her ass. Then a college kid came over to us. He was canvasing the neighborhood trying to solicit donations for the DNC. Ronaldo gave him fitty bucks.

I just got word from Miss Rosie about the results of her biopsy. Thanks the gods! It's not cancer but "scriosis inflamed by stress". I have no clue what scriosis is. Soemthing to do with vaginal dryness and menopause. She bitched about having to lube up for doing the nasty but, hey, better than chemotherapy.

I have a rebate check to cash after work. It's kinda nice - it seems like everyday I have a check to cash. Either for me or for my dad's estate. And Kristina is that strawberry blonde's name. Maybe I'll be able to talk to her again today. Oh! And there's this gorgeous brunette working at Mother Fool's as well. OK. Anyway, the plan is to stop at Toad Hill to pick some cherries after work and after drooling on the hottie teller. Then I'll work on that PC. I have a couple pies to bake as well but would rather do that later this week when it's cooler. Hell, we'll see. Since I don't have to work tomorrow, tonight might be a good night to bake. And now I've told Dogger that I'd burn him a DVD of this Yes concert from 1975 that I downloaded. I went from having a good amount of free time to trying to fit everything in.

It could be worse, I suppose.
|| Palmer, 10:09 AM || link || (0) comments |

13 July, 2004

Cubicle Land Heats Up

I surfed the Net for a while last night as I was burning CDs and found The Dulcinea online. We traded some emails, most of which were about the fun toys over at A Woman’s Touch. Then she calls and informs me that she is lying on her bed with a dildo inside of her and a vibrator on her panic button. It wasn’t much of a conversation, I can tell you.

I got an email from The Caffeinatrix last night and I responded this morning. She seems to be down in the dumps. I miss spending my mornings with her doing the crossword puzzles, drinking fine coffee, and just chewing the fat. In my response, I told her this and told her that we ought to have dinner together again. If nothing else, we can talk and I can give her a hug. On the bright side, the cherry tree over at Toad Hill has many fruit and I have to go over there to pick some. I have much pie backing to do!

I spent part of last night installing software on my computer. Much to my dismay, Encarta 2K4 Reference Library doesn’t work. At least the Oxford Dictionary does. Ya know, I almost can’t wait for Pete to move out so I can have the basement as my office/study. I can put my OED out on a table, have paperwork spread everywhere and junk lying around. And it’ll be much cooler down there than in my room upstairs. But what will I do with my bedroom? The desk will be gone and so will some of the books. I guess I’ll just have to find something to fill the space. I suppose I can pull the dresser out of the closet. Shit, I’m horrible at interior decorating. I need me a Feng Shui expert here to tell me to point my bed north and my dresser east.

Got another email from The Dulcinea:

”I loved hearing you say "you sound so beautiful" last night. I keep thinking of that...I just want you like crazy. Don't tell me you are the tempted here. YOU are the one that sat next to me and pretended to do the crossword puzzle... Playing hard to get was never a strong suit of mine: when can I see you again? Phone phun is phine, but I need the tactile/olfactory thing too.”

It totally flummoxes me how she could be so enthralled with your humble narrator. I’m just this guy, you know? I’ll just ride the curve and have as much sex and fun as I possibly can. Speaking of which, I get to go to the credit union this afternoon. Hopefully I’ll see Kristy or Kristine or whatever that blonde’s name is. There are absolutely no hotties here in the general area where I sit.

Christ, her emails have made me all frisky. She wrote that she’ll be working late tonight in preparation for an office move but that she’ll be there all alone. So, in theory, I could hoist her sweet ass onto this conference table she keeps telling me about and have sex. Or I could do productive things at home (vs. reproductive). Ronaldo has a PC he needs to have fixed. And I still have oodles of writing to do. She works over here on the west side of town but I live on the far eastern side. Maybe I can convince her to come over tonight for a quickie. She sent me an email last night containing links to pages of A Woman’s Touch’s online catalog – they were for nipples clamps and suction cups. I really would love to try those out on her. Fuck! I’ve gotta find something else to write about because I’m just whipping myself into a frenzy here. I don’t wanna be wandering around the aisles of Cubicle Land with a stiffy…
|| Palmer, 10:09 AM || link || (0) comments |

12 July, 2004

Curioser and Kinkier

Things just keep getting more interesting. I received a couple interesting emails from The Dulcinea this evening:

"Pron? Were u typing with one hand while manhandling yourself with the other? I've never had phone sex, but I'd like to try it with you. Just typing that turned me on. u and u're demon magik!"

"Do you think you could get an entire hand inside me?"

I was just hoping to have a nice, quiet evening at home and now I'm all frisky.

I got another check today. Well, my father did. Another excuse to go hit on that blonde at the credit union...
|| Palmer, 10:08 AM || link || (0) comments |
Back Hurting

The weekend went pretty well. Except for my back. Somehow I managed to twist it on Friday so I had this pain which persists in my lower back. Since I have 2 computers here at work and I hardly ever sit like a normal person, I think that I was sitting cross-legged and moved so as to be able to type on the other PC when it happened.

Didn't do much Friday night - just relaxed and tried to avoid pain. So I went to bed early and listened to the Doctor Who radio drama "Shada". Got up very early on Saturday morning and drank coffee. Stevie went out on the boat but I wanted to rest my back so I ran errands instead. These included a run to Walgreens to get some naproxen sodium which helped tremendously when I crashed my bicycle several years ago. Also ran and got Marv's brithday gift as well as a trek to the Gateway Mall. There I stopped in at Mad City Music and got Wilco's new album and The Xenon Codex by Hawkwind, an album which I haven't had in my collection for a couple years now. From there, I went to A Woman's Touch and bought some more condoms and a super-sized bottle of lube. As far as the jimmy hats go, I bought a variety pack thinking that a) I’d like to find a brand which allows for more sensitivity and b) there were some funky ones with ribs, swirls, twists, etc. Perhaps The Dulcinea would dig ‘em. I see a lubrication war on the horizon. I’m rather partial to Liquid Silk while Milday has a penchant for Maximus. I find the stuff to be overly viscuous but, hey – different strokes for different folks.

I spent Saturday afternoon cleaning and paying bills. I renewed my subscription to a computer magazine and then paid off what I hope are the last of my dad’s bills to the tune of nearly $1100. I also burned a buncha CDs.
Marv had a friend who was in Thailand and he acquired some pukka apps on the cheap. The discs are making the rounds and it’ my turn now. I got a load of Adobe stuff, including In-Design which will be cool if I ever get off my lazy ass and try to print a zine as I want to do. In addition, there’s the Oxford Dictionary and the new Encarta reference suite. Plus more geeky stuff like .Net Visual Studio. More burning tonight.

The Dulcinea came over Saturday evening. She and I went to the Willy Street Co-op, where I am now a member, and did some grocery shopping. While the bill was about $75, nearly $20 of it was for chocolate, including some highly expensive baking chocolate.

The co-op is a food cooperative in which anyone can shop but members get a discount. It was formed in the mid-70s by a bunch of hippies and features mostly organic foods and “natural” products such as soap, etc. Grains and legumes are sold in bulk for those who worship the nutritive value of the lentil or just need a small amount for that special batch of organic fair-trade whole wheat scones. The food is generally of better quality than typically found at a grocery store and much of it is locally produced.

When we got home, we made a batch of nachos which we shared with Pete and festered. A bit after 9, we headed up to my room and proceeded to have as much sex as we could over the ensuing 15 hours. Unfortunately, The Dulcinea was having trouble reaching orgasm and I felt bad about this. I hated seeing her so frustrated as I had had 2 or 3 of them and, in the spirit of fair play, thought that she deserved one, at the very least. Besides, watching and hearing her in the throes of climax is a tremendous turn-on. Finally, after much sex, cunnilingus, and rubbing my fingers between her legs in a St. Vitus Dance-like fury, she came.

On Sunday, The Dulcinea was preparing to leave but she couldn’t find her keys. So she went up to my bedroom to look for them and I went up to help her. They were just under a pair of my underwear or some such place. We made our farewell embraces and kisses when I found that I couldn’t help myself and pulled down her shorts. This got me hard and I accused her of doing it to me. She firmly denied it so I pulled out the evidence. Next thing I know, both of us are naked from the waist down and she is bent over my bed. I slip on a rubber and enter her from behind. I like this position as I can see a womyn’s ratio, as The Dulicina and I playfully refer to the gentle curves of her hips and ass. After a while, we needed a change of position and she straightened up and turned around. While The Dulcinea repositioned herself, she stepped on something which makes a funny farting sound and then lets a pussy fart fly. (Yeah, I know there’s gotta be a nicer term than “pussy fart” but I’ve been reading Savage Love for too long.) We’re laughing together but I maintain a modicum of composure and lube her naughty bits as well as my trusty Beyond 7 condom. With her legs straight up in the air, I roger her roundly. Her moans and sigh are punctuated with smiles as I was sweating profusely and the droplets would hit her in the face. So she’d try and dodge them by turning her head. Some time later, she needs more lube. I grab the bottle and freshen her up and put on the cock ring she had bought last week. So, we’re all lubed and ready to go when she lets fly another pussy fart. We’re laughing and then the nachos catch up with me and a fart escapes my ass. This sends us both into fits of laughter. So she’s sitting there with her legs spread open while I’m kneeling in front of her with an ever-softening johnson. It was just hilarious. So I collapsed on her and kissed her all over. A fun way to end our weekend together.

The Dulcinea is probably the best partner I’ve ever had. Once we got over the initial bouts of being self-conscious, we both jumped in headlong. Nothing seems taboo – we’re always willing to try new things. A new position is introduced every weekend. And we are very comfortable and very open with one another. We have no problem telling the other where or how we like to be touched, for instance. And she likes me to talk dirty to her in bed, which is a hoot, and to boss her around.

By way of example for all of this, late Sunday morning, after she had her orgasm, I told her to lube me up. She obliged and I began to masturbate. I’ve never felt comfortable masturbating in front of a woman (or a man, for that matter) until The Dulcinea. After I got hard, I ordered her to rub my balls. The look on her face was marvelous. She’ll look at my face and then watch my hand touching myself. She has this look of anxious surprise that is a tremendous turn-on. And she loves to watch me ejaculate. Considering that I’d had 3 or 4 orgasms in a short period of time before this, I had a surprisingly large amount of semen. Then again, I hadn’t masturbated all week. And, having a lot of sex, those muscles down there are getting strong so I am able to shoot what The Dulcinea fondly refers to as my “man juices” with some flare and some distance. I haven’t felt this virile in a while! She even called me her “Sex God”. While no procreative deity am I, it was a nice ego boost. I just put my member in her whenever I get a hardon, that’s all.

After The Dulcinea left, I tried to take a brief nap before heading over to Dogger’s to game. But her scent must have still been on me because I got all frisky and masturbated. I was surprised that I had any semen left in me. Well, enough of the naughty stuff.

Pete and I went over to Dog’s and we gamed. Miss Regan was chillin’ in the basement when we got there. Man, she’s getting big! Anyway, it was an amusing little adventure but I don’t think it went exactly as Marv had planned as we quit early. Seems we did some things that he hadn’t planned on – like actually being able to kill the Drow elf and his umber hulk. OK, we didn’t exactly kill them – it more was more a suicidal kind of thing – but we had them on the ropes. But, upon returning to Everlund, we find out that Drow elves usually have illithids with them so we’ve gotta go back to find it. Severus, my cleric, did some research on them and found out that they such minds out of creatures. I shat bricks. Great, just great. So I’m memorizing every Protection of Evil spell I can find. Anything to keep the illithid from being able to mentally attack me.

What else? My great uncle’s funeral service is Thursday. Gotta call my mom to get a time. And I have to mow the lawn over at Toad Hill. Maybe this evening. Tonight I wanna copy those CDs and return them to Marv. And I wanna read. No self-abuse, though.
|| Palmer, 10:08 AM || link || (0) comments |

10 July, 2004


Well, my cultural activities were curtailed yesterday as I did something to my back. Dunno what - I must have twisted somehow and threw a vertebra out of whack. Walking is a whole lotta no fun right now. When I awoke, I noticed that the answering machine had some new messages so I listened to them. The last one was from my mother and, from her tone of voice, I could tell that things were not well in Chicago.

"I have some sad news for you..."

My great uncle Harry passed away yesterday afternoon. I called my mom back and found that there was still no word on when a memorial service might be held so I await word on that. Just not the way I wanted my weekend to begin. It's such a gorgeous morning - sunny yet temperate. I love mornings like this because the day seems so pregnant with possibility. As if anything could be accomplished and happiness was at my doorstep.

For now, I am going to go to the credit union and deposit my paycheck. Hopefully that strawberry blonde will be working again. I saw her yesterday when was at another branch but wasn't lucky enough to have her as my teller. But, as I walked out the door, I ran into Dogger and Marv who were at the ATM. We ended up going to a gaming shop that opened recently down on Willy Street. I bought a Player's Handbook and, since Marv's birthday was earlier this week, I got him the Monster Manual II, albeit against my better judgement. This means that our party will surely run into even more foul and heinous creatures. The store had a selection of daggers and swords behind glass but there was also a nice little halberd sitting in the corner. It was only $40! I may just have to buy it so I can mount it in my den someday. Or at least in the basement when I move my books and computer down there.

After that, I dunno what to do. Probably do some writing. I am sooo far behind. Maybe I can get Marv over here so he can ply his VBA programming trade. I want to have a database for my bootleg collection. Probably laundry too. My sheets smell like sweat and other bodily fluids.

My father's birthday is in about a month. Still haven't taken any time out alone to look at pictures and such.

I also have some CDs to burn. Some of my musical taste is rubbing off on The Dulcinea, much to my surprise, and she has requested some tunes by various bands. I've burned some Yes and Jethro Tull for her already and Son Volt, Genesis, and Fish are next.

I just feel so sullen. The prospect of having to attend a funeral and deal with grieving family is not fun. This means I'll have to make love with The Dulcinea. And I don't mean this in a sarcastic or silly way. What is more positive, more life-affirming than sex? It's a celebration of life. My father and great uncle are gone but I'm still alive. I ought to celebrate.
|| Palmer, 10:07 AM || link || (0) comments |

09 July, 2004

Son of a b*&$@!!!

The Indian places don't serve dinner until 5! Back to the drawing board...
|| Palmer, 10:06 AM || link || (0) comments |
Tikka Masala!

It's nice to be able to take a half hour lunch and leave a half hour early. The plan is to head downtown and go to the Socrates Cafe, a philosophy dialogue group, and discuss the topic du jour which is Fahrenheit 9/11. After that, I am planning on going to the little experimental theater and see a play. Then I can come home and stay up late fucking around or reading.

Tomorrow I''m going to get together with Old Man Standiford and shoot some test footage for our video. Then I'm going to meet up with The Dulcinea and make the beast with two backs. Sunday we game.

I'd really like to get into the habit of going to the cinema show weekly. I'm 5 minutes away from one of the art houses and a cheapie theater and about 15 from another art house so catching a matinee after work is easy. (Ooh! I saw Super Size Me yesterday evening!) Unfotunately, the only thing playing at any of the cinemas is Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or whatever it's called. Might make a nice after-work jaunt on Monday.

Since The Dulcinea is into toys, I was hoping that A Woman's Touch would be putting on their Sex Toys 101 demo so I could attend as I'm a complete neophyte in the matter. Alas and alack, not this week.

The Dulcinea has been a bit surprised with me. Earlier this week, she said that I was the first guy who's ever used the phrase "make love with you" with her. It was apparently a pleasant surprise to hear those words instead of "fuck", "screw", etc. I was happy last weekend when we had sex in a position I've never been in before: me entering from behind while she lays on her belly. On Tuesday night, she told me that she had been having naughty thoughts all week. While she turned coy immediately, I was able to inveigle some fantastical tidbits from her. She had been fantasizing about using a strap-on -- on me. I found the idea to be a tremendous turn-on and told her that, as long as we used a gallon of lube, I'm willing to give it a go. We also agreed to work our way towards some anal play on her end as well. (Pun intended.) To top things off, I agreed to go on a trek in search of her g-spot and T-zone. Methinks I need to stop buying the 4oz bottles of lube and get larger ones.

Tim walks into A Woman's Touch.

Clerk: "How can I help you today?"
Tim: "I need some lubrication."

Clerk: "Would you like that super-sized?"

Tim: "You betcha!"

I think I also surprised her during our talk about birth control. Firstly, I told her that I'd pay half. Secondly, I told her that I wanted to go with her to Planned Parenthood if she were to go there for something other than condoms - she mentioned a cervical someting-or-other. I dunno. I just know where to put my tongue and penis, otherwise womyn's anatomy is a mystery.

Aside from her pulchritude, I love how open and honest The Dulcinea is. We can talk about anything. And she is extremely sensual. She (and me too) really loves all the sights, scents, and sounds, tastes, and touches of one another. (The first or second time I went down on her, she wanted me to kiss her immediately afterwards so she could "taste herself".) She and I both agree that we love how we smell together. That tantalizing mix of various bodily fluids is just so potent.

And there's these little things she's done that really thrust me into musth. For instance, I got out of bed one morning to take a shower. So I'm walking towards the door and she just opens her legs flashing me her naughty bits. One night, before she had to leave, I had her sit on my lap for a short while to hug and caress her one last time before her sweet ass was out the door. So she pulls her breast out of her bra and pushes it towards my mouth.

She's just so naughty.

Jinkies! The weather has really take a turn for the worse. It's very dark outside and raining, I would imagine. I'm hungry. At least I've got less than 3 hours of work left. I think I'll just head downtown. The discussion doesn't start til 6 but I wanna grab a bite to eat and perhaps some ice cream. I'm really keen on Indian food, right now. Mmmm...vindaloo...chocolate ice cream...But there's no Indian joint downtown. It's all yuppie crap-fuck joints where people go to look good regardless of the quality of the food.

*tummy growls*
|| Palmer, 10:06 AM || link || (0) comments |
Unease Sets In

From The Dulcinea:

"I was so wet after I talked to you. I don't know what it is. You are making me crazy.

I do, actually. Limerence. The only definition I've found so far is "enjoying the experience of being in love", but that is incomplete. I think it is the experience of being in the throes of passion, with all of the attendenant mood swings and intensity of feeling.

I definitely think that is what I am feeling lately. I just can't believe how much (and how intensely) I am feeling my attraction to you."

Must keep on track here. Summer fun. Sex - that's all I want. No relationship. But when the passions are aflame, weird shit is gonna go down...
|| Palmer, 10:05 AM || link || (0) comments |
Going Through Stamps Like Water

I've gotten a few things ready to mail this morning. I would have done more but I ran out of checks. I am going to subscribe to The Progressive and Progression magazines. The former is a lefty rag while the later is about progressive rock. {That "progress" bit is everywhere this morning.} Next I am signing up for a bookmaking class. I had originally intended to take a one-day session on the topic but found a class that meets once a week for 5 weeks and will be taking that instead. There is a possibility that I'll be making my own journals this fall! And finally, I am joining the Freedom From Religion Foundation. The Xtian right irks me too much. Their conference this fall will feature Steven Pinker as the keynote speaker (or whatever)! I've read 2 of his books, have another unread on my shelf, and can honestly say that his The Blank Slate changed me greatly. This leaves subscriptions to Maximum PC and In These Times plus a load of bills of my father's. I also wanna get a ticket to see the Madison Symphony Orchestra next fall as they'll be doing Beethoven's 9th.
|| Palmer, 10:00 AM || link || (0) comments |

08 July, 2004

Skyrockets In Flight?

I have 45 more minutes until I get to leave work. And I cannot wait. I told The Dulcinea that I'd stop by her office to say hello and she replied with:

"I'll see you soon. You can help me get the mail (in the quiet and often deserted basement!).

Reading this has made me frisky. I shall have to buy some condoms on my way there...
|| Palmer, 10:00 AM || link || (0) comments |
Joseph K, Here I Come

Mel has gotten a hold of tickets for Spamalot! so I'll be seeing it in early January. Jethro Tull will supposedly be here in Madison come November. Closer to now, the Music Box Theater in Chicago is having a big Orson Welles celebration so I'll have to go down there to catch something. The Trial would be really cool to see on the big screen.
|| Palmer, 9:59 AM || link || (0) comments |

NEW YORK (Reuters) - David Hyde Pierce, Tim Curry (news) and Hank Azaria (news) were named on Wednesday as the leading trio for next year's Broadway-bound production of Monty Python's "Spamalot."

"Spamalot," to be directed by Oscar and Tony Award winner Mike Nichols, is billed as "the musical lovingly ripped off from the motion picture, 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail,"' the 1975 comedy directed by Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones.

It tells the tale of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table and their quest for the Holy Grail. A chorus line of dancing divas and knights, flatulent Frenchmen, killer rabbits and one legless knight are featured.

Pierce, who was Dr. Niles Crane in the long-running U.S. sitcom "Frasier," will play Sir Robin. Curry, known for his star turn in the cult film, "The Rocky Horror Picture Show," will play King Arthur. Azaria, best known as the voice of Moe the bartender on the animated series "The Simpsons," will portray Sir Lancelot.

The corresponding film roles were performed by Eric Idle, Graham Chapman and John Cleese (news) of the British comedy troupe.

Idle wrote the book for the new musical and collaborated on the music and lyrics with John Du Prez, whose film scores include the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" series and the hit, "A Fish Called Wanda."

The show is scheduled to have a world premiere engagement in Chicago from Dec. 21, 2004, to Jan. 16, 2005, before beginning Broadway previews on Feb. 7.
|| Palmer, 9:59 AM || link || (0) comments |

07 July, 2004


It's only 10 o'clock but it's been a long day. I suppose this is because there's so much stuff I'd rather be doing than sitting here at work but so it goes.

Since it's fairly slow, I've been poking around Michael Moore's website as well as mediamatters.org. Nothing like a little lefty news to pump me full of piss and vinegar. Since I haven't written much of substance lately, I will mention that I saw Fahrenheit 9/11. It was OK. I mean, I enjoyed the mockery of Dubya, I was disappointed in the film stylistically. There wasn't enough of Moore going around asking questions. And there was too much crying! Not to belittle the woman in the film or to make light of the death of her child, but I come from the school that people crying onscreen is cheap sensationalism. Sure, I can see showing someone as the tears start falling, but Moore let that shit run on for 15 minutes! Stop showing us the tears and get back to the argument. No one needs to watch her cry for that long to know that she feels an incredibly deep loss. I wanted more Moore doing his schtick. (The ice cream truck scene was great!)

I went with a gang of 8 people or so, including Pete. He and I agreed that The Fog of War was much better, although the two films have some great differences.

There's a saying about being careful what you wish for. I wished for sex and now I find that my penis is sore from use. And semen production can barely keep up with demand. I have a lot to write about concerning my sex life but I shan't right now. And I don't mean just the gory details. Getting laid regularly has made me happier, kicked my libido into overdrive, et al. The wonderful sense of exploration - not only of her body, but of my mind and my desires. Sexuality is such an integral part of the human animal - how could people deny it?

Earlier this morning, I finished reading Adam, Eve, and the Serpent. Interesting stuff. It's a book about the differences in various attitudes between the early Christians and the Jews as well as how these attitudes changed as Christianity became the religion of the empire instead of a persecuted minority. Attitudes about sex, marriage, divorce, womyn's rights, human nature, et al.

The section about the debate between Augustine and Julian was absolutely fascinating. Briefly, Julian was old school in that he purported that God's gift to mankind was freewill. But Augustine argued that Adam's transgression in the Garden stained humanity forever and thus was the concept of Original Sin born and the world has been suffering ever since. Along with this, Augustine includes sexual desire. Rather than a natural bit of Creation, he saw it as a curse bestowed upon us all by Adam's heinous actions. Now, if that isn't fucking ridiculous, I don't know what is.

Not sure what my next read is going to be. Perhaps A History of God. I know I have a few more books that I haven't read yet on my shelves. We'll see when I get home.
|| Palmer, 9:58 AM || link || (0) comments |

06 July, 2004

Busy Day Off

I shall try to write something more substantive later today but I do wanna check-in.

Weekend: excellent! The Dulcinea was here Sunday and Monday morning. We showered together, slept together, and had lots of sex. She has really awakened my dormant libido. I woke up incredibly horny this morning and have been ogling womyn all day - trying to look down shirts and blouses around every corner. When she came over on Saturday, she brought with her a bottle of lube, 2 sampler tubes of flavored lube, condoms, and a cock ring...
I didn't go to work today as my car was giving me overheating fits last night. So I checked it out for leaks and such and had the oil changed (which was way overdue) as well as the radiator flushed. It seems to be doing OK now.
Spent yesterday afternoon and night out on the lakes. The whoopie Rhythm'n'Booms fireworks display was last night so we pulled up just off the shore of the park where it was held to watch. Pretty friggin' cool! Four F-16s flew over as well after the nation anthem - as did a few Blackhawk helicopters - bloody loud! It really made me think about what it must be like to be in combat. All of the noise, the confusion, and the people shooting at you. Hats off to our soldiers indeed.
|| Palmer, 9:57 AM || link || (0) comments |

03 July, 2004


I bought a new 80GB hard drive as I wanted to keep more of my audio/video files on my PC. But the f*cking thing isn't playing nice with the IDE channel. Infernal contraption! So I've gotta play with more jumper settings.

My inamorata is going with some family to see Fahrenheit 9/11 while the rain pours down. I just spoke with her on the phone and she said that she had with her a bottle of lube and that she was going to come over after the film so we can play with it. This is, in part, because I sent her a copy of one of my erotic stories which involves sex with a pregnant woman. The Dulcinea told me that, when she was preganant, she was very frisky and that she loved sex while heavy with child. Tonight is shaping up to be fun...
|| Palmer, 9:56 AM || link || (0) comments |

02 July, 2004

It's All Music, Man

LONDON (Reuters) - The sound of Richard Wagner's monumental music thundered over Britain's Glastonbury Festival Sunday, an event best known for its rock bands and techno dance acts.

The German composer's "Ride of the Valkyries," performed by the English National Opera, was the first opera to be staged at Europe's biggest open-air event.

The ENO performed act three of the Valkyries on the main stage, complete with a 90-piece orchestra and 11 soloists, in a bid to bring opera to a wider audience.

"It was quite moving to hear opera in such a vast outdoor space," one enthusiastic reveller among more than 100,000 festival-goers told BBC Television.

The music is the most famous portion of the composer's 15-hour long Ring cycle and has been featured in countless commercials and films, most famously in Francis Ford Coppola's "Apocalypse Now."
|| Palmer, 9:56 AM || link || (0) comments |
I Told Ya Womyn Are Evil

So, here I am at my new job trying to be good'n'productive and I get emails like these:

"Yes! A Woman's Touch{Our local sex-positive toy store} and Mad City - I almost bought three CDs but it wasn't the right time. I looked at a lot of toys at AWT and made myself promise I'd come back for another look in a bit. There was a fascinating nubby glass dildo I couldn't keep my hands off of. But a bit much ($). I wish one could try them out before buying...Better get back to work. But one last thing: I'm not wearing any underwear."


"I'd love a field trip to AWT. I was thinking about playing together when I was looking at stuff last night. I burned you the CD I was considering burning. I've been listening to it this morning. It is moody, but not in a bad way... Okay, now back to work."

How am I supposed to keep my mind on work?
|| Palmer, 9:55 AM || link || (0) comments |

01 July, 2004

Just After Dawn

Tired...so tired. Eyelids...gravity...

Worked on the boat a bit more after work. Then the inamorata came over. She was a bit sick and her naughty bits were irritated. The upshot was that I ended up masturbating while she watched. Hell, she liked it so much that she started masturbated. Never done that before so I had to note it down.

Work is gonna be boring again, I think. Got a rejection letter from another company yesterday which is despressing. I must peruse the classifieds today.
|| Palmer, 9:55 AM || link || (0) comments |