Lagers are Dead, Long Live Lagers!

I made my second trip to The Malt House on Thursday, accompanied by The Dulcinea. Since my first visit, they had printed a beverage menu. Looking at the front, I saw that the entire side was dedicated to ales and that the list finished on the reverse. Also on the reverse were wines, malt beverages, sodas, and finally lagers. The lagers were relegated to the upper right-hand corner – all 15 or so of them. There were about 2 million ales, including a whole row of taps dedicated to Belgian varieties, yet the style of beer which made Wisconsin famous is given almost token representation. Very disappointing. To make matters worse, I don't recall seeing a single lager on tap so everything was in bottles.

Don't get me wrong, the lagers they did have were great. I had a bottle of a German import the name of which I cannot recall and it was very tasty. There were also the usual imported suspects such as Stella Artois, Spaten, and Pilsner Urquell. On the domestic front, Sprecher Black Bavarian and Special Amber – two of my faves – were representin' the bottom fermenters as were selections from Capital: Wisconsin Amber, Munich Dark, and Special Pilsner. (At least that's how I recollect.) Oh, and there was Miller Lite.

With the exception of the Miller, they were all good beers. But their paucity meant that there were some varieties left out and others drastically under-represented. There were probably more IPAs alone than all lagers. And there are so many tasty varieties of lagers:

American All-Malt Lager
American Amber / Red Lager
American Double / Imperial Pilsner
California Common / Steam Beer
Czech Lagers
Czech Pilsener
Euro Dark Lager
Euro Pale Lager
Euro Strong Lager
Bock
Doppelbock
Dortmunder / Export Lager
Eisbock
German Pilsener
Keller Bier / Zwickel Bier
Maibock / Helles Bock
Munich Dunkel Lager
Munich Helles Lager
Märzen / Oktoberfest
Rauchbier
Schwarzbier
Vienna Lager
Happoshu
Japanese Rice Lager

OK, I'm not really expecting there to be an Eisbock on tap or anything, but still…

While I love ales, I also hate to see its sibling given such short shrift. I'm trying to get over the trendiness of ales but I am having a rough go at it. New Glarus' Hometown Blonde, Yokel, Zwickel, and Norski are now but distant memories. (Though Edel Pils remains, thankfully.) And what's up with Kirby Nelson over at Capital? I've been drinking his brews since the days when their bottles read "Garten Bräu". They eased me into microbrews and nurtured my desire to drink local back in my delicate college years. Kirby was the Lager King. This is not to say that he has lost that title but look at what's he's brewed lately: U.S. Pale Ale, Island Wheat ale, Rustic Ale, Baltic Porter, Vintage Ale, Prairie Gold Belgian blonde ale. Here's how the brewery's website describes him:

He has been involved with Capital Brewery since February of 1986 as Assistant Brewmaster, moving up to Head Brewmaster in September 1987. Since then, Kirby has made a name for himself as a world-class lager brewer.

And to pile Pelion upon Ossa Fest has been retired?! I cut my tender teenage liver on Garten Bräu Fest. They may not have been the exact same beers but there's been a brew coming out of Middleton named "Fest" for seemingly ever and now Kirby is killing me! It's the destruction of history – like the Egyptians razing the Pyramids or the Romans tearing down the Coliseum. This is the first summer in a while sans Fest and it just ain't the same. I understand that despite tasting for shite, Island Wheat brings in the bucks, but must every new beer be an attempt to be part of a trend? I swear to Christ, if Kirby brews an IPA I'm going to…going to…going to drink it and then do something to register my dismay.