Sexy New Year's Resolutions
Courtesy of Anne Seamans. hehe I wrote "Seamans".
* Masturbate more - this one should be pretty easy
* Write an erotic letter or email (even if to yourself) - to myself? No problema!
* Compliment your lover on some element of his/her sexual technique - "Oh right hand, you sure can stroke like nobody's bidness!"
* Discover a new erogenous zone - now this one will take some looking into...
* Experiment with different condoms and pick a new favorite - Bummer. You don't need condoms when you make love with yourself.
* Try a different kind of vibrator (or at least a different speed!) - OK, I don't use vibrators. BUT(T), I can get an EverReady.
* Write down your erotic dreams - this I can handle.
* Look in the mirror and compliment your favorite physical traits - "My what a big tongue you have!"
* Pay attention to your sexual health - Good idea. Must get checked for STDs.
* Seek out more music and art, watch TV less - This is no problem as I don't watch TV much anyway.
* Masturbate in a different way (change positions, use fantasy material, etc) - Although I've been masturbating for over 20 years, it shouldn't be (gasp!) hard to find something new.
* Have sex somewhere new - Does masturbating somewhere new count?
* Share a favorite fantasy with your partner - I can only talk to my hands so much.
* Rent an erotic movie - Roger dat!
* Leave naughty voice mail for your partner - My hands don't have voice mail.
* Look for sex in nature (or architecture!) - National Geographic Channel, here I, um, come!
* Answer your kids' sex questions; buy them a book - No kids.
* Discover one new sex-related web site - You mean they have sex on the Internet?!
* Try a chat room, a dating service or a personal ad - Chat room? w/m/32 Um, I'll pass on the chat room thing but perhaps I'll put up a personal ad again.
* Wear something sexy to the office - I'm thinking that me in chaps would not go over well at work.
* Be naked - I hope Stevie and Becca won't mind if I resolve this one.
the problem with writing down erotic dreams is that I can never remember them.
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