Sexy New Year's Resolutions

Courtesy of Anne Seamans. hehe I wrote "Seamans".

* Masturbate more - this one should be pretty easy

* Write an erotic letter or email (even if to yourself) - to myself? No problema!

* Compliment your lover on some element of his/her sexual technique - "Oh right hand, you sure can stroke like nobody's bidness!"

* Discover a new erogenous zone - now this one will take some looking into...

* Experiment with different condoms and pick a new favorite - Bummer. You don't need condoms when you make love with yourself.

* Try a different kind of vibrator (or at least a different speed!) - OK, I don't use vibrators. BUT(T), I can get an EverReady.

* Write down your erotic dreams - this I can handle.

* Look in the mirror and compliment your favorite physical traits - "My what a big tongue you have!"

* Pay attention to your sexual health - Good idea. Must get checked for STDs.

* Seek out more music and art, watch TV less - This is no problem as I don't watch TV much anyway.

* Masturbate in a different way (change positions, use fantasy material, etc) - Although I've been masturbating for over 20 years, it shouldn't be (gasp!) hard to find something new.

* Have sex somewhere new - Does masturbating somewhere new count?

* Share a favorite fantasy with your partner - I can only talk to my hands so much.

* Rent an erotic movie - Roger dat!

* Leave naughty voice mail for your partner - My hands don't have voice mail.

* Look for sex in nature (or architecture!) - National Geographic Channel, here I, um, come!

* Answer your kids' sex questions; buy them a book - No kids.

* Discover one new sex-related web site - You mean they have sex on the Internet?!

* Try a chat room, a dating service or a personal ad - Chat room? w/m/32 Um, I'll pass on the chat room thing but perhaps I'll put up a personal ad again.

* Wear something sexy to the office - I'm thinking that me in chaps would not go over well at work.

* Be naked - I hope Stevie and Becca won't mind if I resolve this one.