Last spring Andy Moore wrote a piece for Isthmus called "Move along, nothing to see here" in which he inveighed against the smugness of near-east side dog owners who don't take responsibility for their hounds and think that they have a right to bring them anywhere they may go, including all of the summer festivals in the Marquette neighborhood.
The "my dog doesn't do that" crowd turns on me every summer at near-east-side music festivals. This is where I have the fun job of making announcements from the stage between bands.
After the inevitable, annual incident of a child getting bitten or a dogfight breaking out, I have the profound pleasure of getting on the mike and telling people with dogs that they need to take them home. That a child has been hurt. That dogs are fighting. That it's against the law to have a dog in the park.
Cave canem! A woman from out of town was bitten last weekend at La Fête de Marquette and the hunt is on for the dog to determine if it has rabies. In addition, the victim "will require significant plastic surgery to repair the damage." A nice welcome for our guest from San Francisco.
While I'm at it, I would like to extend my heartiest thanks to those near-east side neighbors of mine who throw their dogs' shit in my garbage. I just can't thank you and your lazy, inconsiderate asses enough for the smell you bring to my driveway. Thanks to you, I dare not open one of my stepson's bedroom windows in summer lest the odor, which overpowers all others, waft inside.
3 comments:
My dog loves people, but he's a rat bastard to other dogs. Every time I see an unleashed dog coming our way during a walk, I'm tempted to not retreat so the other dog's owner can learn a lesson: it's usually not your dog that's the problem. Leash it or fence it.
I like dogs, but am alergic to them...especially their saliva. My favorite is walking past a dog owner who seems to think their dog is so great that every passer by must want to pet it, so they let the leash out so the dog can either jump on me and/or lick me. I find the scowels when I reatreat just as annoying and find myself having to apologize and inform them that I'm allergic. Sorry, everyone doesn't want to pet your fucking dog!
You should yell "Dog allergies coming through!" and then kick the dog aside.
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