Dear Royal English People

Dear Royal English People,

Thanks for getting married today because it made my morning easier. You see, I got home last night to find a note from my stepson asking me to tweak the parental controls on his laptop so that he could use it at 3AM CST today while he was watching your wedding with his mother. Being the swell guy that I am, I complied with his request.

Sure as shit, I was awoken at 3 this morning by the kid entering our room to get his mom so they could plant their asses in front of the TV and start watching whatever you folks were doing at 9AM GMT. (Or are you 5 hours ahead of us?) I turned my head a bit and groggily said, "You know, we fought a war to get rid of monarchy" and then rolled over and resumed sleeping. I suspect that my antelucan praise of those brave men and women of 1775-1783 has been forgotten by my stepson who can rarely remember to bring his homework home.

When I awoke 2+ hours later they were there on the couch. So thanks for absolving me of my duty of trying to rustle an 11 year-old out of bed for school. (And his mom too.)

Cheers.