I began blathering about Steven Pinker's The Stuff of Thought when I realized that I saw him speak at the UW in the fall of 2009. Looking back at the post, I seem to have already written a review of his book. But allow me to add a few thoughts now that I've read his work.
First, I think that Pinker writes well for a lay audience. He takes his time explaining concepts that most people wouldn't be familiar with and draws from the well of pop culture for many examples. For instance, in one section about whether words have meanings that exist outside of our minds, he refers to Doctor Who: "But suppose scientists made an amazing discovery: cats are really daleks, the mutated descendants of the Kaled people of the planet Skaro, a ruthless race bent on universal conquest and domination, who travel around in mechanical casings cleverly disguised as animals." Trivial I know, but it adds levity to a text which could have been dry and overly academic.
One of the chapters towards the end called "What's in a Name?" was one where I thought a lot about how I speak. Sections discussing politeness seemed especially relevant. I often asked myself if I talked in a way that he was describing. Do I ever say anything as indirect as "If you could pass the salt, that would be terrific."? Did, say, my grandparents ever go so incredibly overboard in the hyper-politeness department for salt?
I found myself nodding my head in agreement when he discussed formal titles and pronouns. When I studied German I learned the formal form of "you" which is Sie with the informal being du. So if I were to address a stranger or my boss or someone who is my social "superior", I'd use Sie. But if I were addressing a friend or family member, I'd use du. We don't differentiate that way in English although, as Pinker points out, we used to with "thou" and "ye". He also talks about how America has become more egalitarian in certain ways reflected in our speech. As a child, I was taught to address my parents' friends and my friends' parents as Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So and to never use their first names. That formality is long gone and it happened in my lifetime. When I worked at American Family Insurance I got in trouble many times for calling agents "sir" or "ma'am" or Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So. I was supposed to be calling everyone by their first name to "personalize" our calls. After all, these people were co-workers. To me, however, they were rank strangers. Some guy in Colorado may have technically been my co-worker but I didn't know him from Adam. It was rude to call him Fred instead of Mr. Smith or "sir" not ever having met him, much less having developed a relationship to be on a first name basis.
I've gotten many glares and even a few reprimands from waitresses for having said "Yes, ma'am." "Ma'am" apparently refers to old women these days instead of being a formal term for strangers. This is surely regional, though, as I never ran into any problems calling a young woman "ma'am" in the South.
Old habits die hard. I ate at a fast food place recently when I was on the road for work. Having paid with a debit card, my name ended up on the ticket showing my order. And so when the manager threw my food on a tray, he looked at the slip and said something to me using my first name while pushing the tray to me. Honestly, it bugged me a little bit. If I'd have had a problem, I would have said, "Excuse me sir but could I get some ketchup?" or some such thing. I wouldn't think of calling him by his first name. I guess I'm like the senior citizens that Pinker mentions who complain to hospitals about rudeness because the staff call them by their first names instead of using a more formal way of addressing them.
For more about the text of the book, read my post about his talk here in Madison back in 2009. That covers the main areas that he approached in the book and gives more examples. I do recommend reading The Stuff of Thought because Pinker is a good writer discoursing on an interesting topic. Plus it will probably make you very self-conscious about how you speak.
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