In return for having driven his drunk ass home last night, my friend took me out for breakfast this morning. And I will admit that we ate our share of pork products. Mmmm...bacon...
Lisa: No I can't! I can't eat any of them!
Homer: Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute. Lisa honey, are you saying you're *never* going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!
Homer: [Chuckles] Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
I feel sorry for people who don't eat pork for health reasons. I don't understand people who abstain from it for ethical reasons. And people who refuse to eat pork for religious reasons are just crazy and have a good excuse for apostasy. It's just too fucking good. On our way home, I dreamt aloud of a world in which people put out dishes of bacon around their house instead of candy. My friend opined how cool it would be if the dishes floated and followed you around. I then asked him if he thought there was a Bacon-of-the-Month Club. Imagine, a nice slab of bacon delivered right to your door. Mmmm...hickory smoked bacon, peppered bacon, bacon cured between the thighs of a virgin...the possibilities are endless.
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