Civil Shrifting in the Cream City

Francis Bacon wrote:

A principal fruit of friendship is the ease and discharge of the fulness and swellings of the heart, which passions of all kinds do cause and induce. We know diseases of stoppings and suffocations are the most dangerous in the body; and it is not much otherwise in the mind; you may take sarza to open the liver, steel to open the spleen, flower of sulphur for the lungs, castareum for the brain; but no receipt openeth the heart but a true friend, to whom you may impart griefs, joys, fears, hopes, suspicions, counsels, and whatsoever lieth upon the heart to oppress it, in a kind of civil shrift or confession.  

His words came to mind last weekend as I prepared to visit friends in Milwaukee. I wasn't going to have a lot of time there but I was determined to make the most of what I was allotted and that would include not only me imparting griefs, joys, etc. but also my friends doing the same. While I'd hoped to be able to see everyone I knew in the Cream City, a couple had to bow out due to a funeral out of town. Still, two thirds ain't bad.

It was a lovely, sunny Saturday afternoon when I got into Bay View. Traffic hadn't been bad and I made it to the home of a couple friends in good time. I found that they were waiting for me on their porch. One I've known since high school and her husband since they've been married. It had been a while since we'd seen one another so the hugs were generous and most welcome. They were experiencing their own trials and tribulations so we could commiserate.

After presenting them with their gifts - food from Madison, I was presented with a loaf of sourdough bread in embryo. It was rising. Leaving the dough to its own devices, we headed out to Seven Bridges Trail. It was a perfect afternoon for a walk.

While there were still some leaves hanging on until the bitter (cold) end, I suspect we had missed peak color by a couple weeks. That is, I had missed it. My friends had been here to witness Nature in its resplendent glory.

As we walked along, I got caught up on the vexations which plague them and I, in turn, told them of my divorce and my progress in creating a new life for myself. Many griefs, joys, fears, and hopes were exchanged. And then my friend told me that my wife had visited them back in August, a month or so after our divorce began. It did not go particularly well and I felt badly for them; I felt responsible despite not being so, not even knowing of the social call. Oh well. Hopefully there will not be a repeat.

The trail was gorgeous. My friends said that it had been sparsely populated on their last visit but this day it had people everywhere. It lies on the shores of Lake Michigan and had a rather nice beach which I bet is well used during the summer months. 

As we walked along the shoreline, my friend noted that we weren't too far from where the body of Sade Robinson had been found. The 19 year-old had been murdered by a sick fucker named Maxwell Anderson who also dismembered her body.

Despite the horrific tale, it was a relaxing walk and we got caught up on one another's lives. Ever since my divorce began I've been wanting to draw my friends close, to be deeply present and deeply in their presence, and to savor their company like a fine wine. This was a very nice start to the weekend.

The walk also had the effect of giving us all a thirst and so it was off to the newly-reopened St. Francis Brewery.

The brewery closed back in 2019 but had been resurrected this spring - how fitting. I adored their Lust, a Weissbier, back in 2015 and wondered if it was still available. 

I began with a Krug of their Festbier which was very tasty with a toothsome maltiness and just enough hops for balance. While supping and snacking our conversation on the trail continued on barstools. I gave them an idea of the location of my new abode and the details surrounding my hasty exit from the marital residence. In turn, I heard more about their situation and how difficult waiting for resolution was on them.

My second brew was their Hefeweizen, Held Up Hefe. It too was very tasty but had a lighter mouthfeel than Lust. New owners, new recipe, I suspect.

Evening had arrived and we set out to find dinner. We settled on the Vanguard Bar which had vegetarian options aplenty for my friends as well as carnivorous ones for me. On the way there, a couple other friends of mine texted saying that they had returned from the funeral early and were available to get together. Wunderbar! I replied that we were going to eat and that I'd let them know when we were done.

Stepping into the bar we found the place to be packed. We had a 20-minute or so wait for a table. The TV screens had Pink Floyd live from Saint Tropez in 1970 playing but it was Whitney Houston that emanated from the speakers.

I had a bratwurst with onion, sport peppers, and spicy kraut. My friends ordered fries, fried tofu with a ginger-garlic glaze, and a salad of some kind. Everything was delicious but the fried tofu was perhaps the star of the meal with its glazed umami overload.

And the beer was cheap. $6 for a pint of Spotted Cow. Other beers were equally affordable.

With dinner done, I text my friends that we were on our way to the Blackbird Bar which is the tavern of choice of basically everyone I know in Milwaukee. As with the Vanguard, the place was packed. The crowd here was younger, though, and I spied a couple women whose breasts threatened to spill out of their tops. The game was afoot!

We found a few seats at the end of the bar and continued chatting. After a short while, my other friends showed up. We'd not seen one another since May and so their hugs were most welcome. It was simply wonderful to be with all these friends whom I don't get to see often. Even more special than normal. I felt so comfortable and wanted. A couple of them had met before but that was back in 1991 during our college years at a Halloween party that lives on in infamy. They reacquainted themselves with ease.

All too soon our ages showed and we headed out for the comfort of a couch. I was staying at my friends' place and took up position on the love seat while they the couch. We listened to music, supped beers, and chatted away about everything. A wonderful time. They introduced me to the music of Ngozi Family, a Zambian band from the 1970s.

The next morning one of my friends was out the door early to teach her yoga class. For my part, I was to meet up with some other friends to hang out in a sauna before enjoying the cool waters of Lake Michigan at Hot Spell Sauna.

Before then, I hung out with my friends' cats. 

My other friend woke up and we hung out for a short while before I was picked up. I hadn't seen this friend or her husband in a while so I found myself full of joy at being in the company of the remaining folks I know in Milwaukee. My friend has been enjoying the sauna for a while and I couldn't turn down her invitation to join her even if it was only just above the freezing mark outside.

The morning was sunny and clear, if cold, as we pulled into McKinley Marina which the sauna called home. My friend's husband had never been there and I took comfort in not being the only person for whom this was the first time.

A couple portable saunas were set up on the lakeshore next to the boat launch. The idea was that you would spend some time in the heat and then zip down the ramp and into into the lake.

We went into the sauna and I think we all started sweating immediately in the 200+ degree heat. But it felt good. The occasional dose of water on the coals got my nose burning even more as the steam entered my nostrils.

Sitting in the steamy heat, the three of us chatted about life - divorce and kids, for example - for a spell and then it was time to get into the water. We wandered around the fence and made our way down the boat ramp. The second my feet hit the water a shiver went up my legs and I could feel, as George Costanza said, shrinkage. It was freezing!

We waded in deeper. It didn't take long for my legs to go numb. No fancy neoprene accoutrements here; just a swimming trunks and Crocs. I was able to make it in about navel high before retreating. Once out of the water, I felt very good despite the sub 40 degree temps and a moderate wind as I didn't feel the wind's chill; rather it was a revivifying briskness. 

This hot and cold pattern was repeated throughout our 75 minute session. It was absolutely exhilarating!

Afterwards I was invited back to my friend's place for breakfast and more banter. I got to see her kids who had grown quite a bit since I'd last seen them. In addition, I was treated to some highly tasty Anodyne coffee from Sprocket Cafe. And I met their über-friendly hound, Izzy. Look at dem ears! 

All too soon it was time to go and I got dropped off at my other friends' place where I found them relaxing on the couch with the Packers game on the TV. I headed home after the game had finished and we had chatted away even more.

I made it home with a lovely loaf of sourdough in tow.

But also a couple paintings done by my friend that he generously gave to me to decorate the walls of my new place.

What a glorious weekend! I got to see, hug, and chat with every one of my friends in Milwaukee (they are all denizens of Bay View, curiously enough). It was great to be in their company when talking instead of having conversations mediated by a phone. Their hugs were wonderful and just being with them was so invigorating, so needed. In addition to discharging the swellings of the heart, simply being in their presence put me at ease and made my cares seem far away. I am very lucky to have them in my life.