Cat photos

I miss Grabby and it makes me sad that I have one more chance to visit her grave before doing so will be denied to me forever.

My sweety pie, Pipey!

 

 

Peter Nicholls: There be no dominion. Wait. No. Thomas Hobbes.

Yesterday I was reading some selections from Leviathan or The Matter, Forme and Power of a Commonwealth Ecclesiasticall and Civil by Hobbes and came across this...

...which spawned proggy thoughts. 

People are the mainspring

While I still have a lot of work to do on my new abode, it has a comfortable feel to it. I have neither a bed frame nor a television, but my kitchen is outfitted well and it is so courtesy of various people. One friend gave me plates, bowls, and various other kitchenware; the flatware belonged to one of my grandmothers; I drink coffee from a cat mug given to me by a different friend; Piper is enjoying spending time in the living room on a couch given to me by yet another friend; my kitchen table has the housewarming gift from my youngest stepson on it.

And there's more to come. For instance, I have a print that belonged to my stepmother ready to find a home on a wall. Plus, after I repaint a night stand that I got at a thrift store, I am going to put the pitcher and wash basin that belonged to my grandmother whose flatware I use onto the shelf at the bottom.

I find comfort in having a place furnished with these gifts, these inherited items as they make me think of where they came from. Drinking coffee from my cat mug generates warm feelings for the friend who gave it to me and makes me thankful for her generosity; sitting at the table upon which my stepson's gift sits reminds me of how kind and creative he is; when I eat with my grandmother's flatware, the few memories I have of her come flooding back and I find a degree of reassurance in family.

 

(Piper relaxing on a couch given to me by a friend and next to a quilt made by another friend's mother which has gone unused until now.)

These things remind me of all the wonderful people in my life several of which have shown such great kindness these past few months. It is humbling to be in their inner circles of sympathies and the recipient of their generosity, not just of things but of their time, their ears, and their hugs. The associations of these things with people who are important to me serve as a reminder that I am not alone, that I am part of something larger that provides succor in my time of need and joy at all times.

********

Last night I dined at a friend's house on tasty pot roast. It is nice having him just a couple blocks away now. As I was leaving to head over to his place, I noticed smoke emanating from the backyard and went to investigate with curiosity piqued. Peeking around the corner, I found that my downstairs neighbor was out back sitting before a portable fire pit and staring pensively at the flames which cast a deep orange glow onto her face.

I had run into her last month when I brought the first load of my belongings over. A Latina who appeared to be in the latter half of her 30s, I was delighted to discover that my neighbor was very friendly. She helped me lug a dresser up the stairs and even offered to enlist her sons for further help, should I need it. Since that initial meeting, I hadn't run into her outside of a brief encounter early one morning when she was taking her dog for a walk. However, I have encountered her cooking, albeit from a distance, when the back door to her apartment was open one day and the wonderful aroma of whatever she was making wafted out.

When we met last month I told her it was to be just me and my cat and last night she asked how I was settling in as well as how my cat was adjusting to her new home. I told her of the paucity of furniture in my apartment which led to me revealing that my divorce was in media res. She offered that, while she has never been divorced, a relationship of 20 years had ended, fairly recently I gathered, so we have that in common. I asked about her children and learned that she had 3 and their ages which ran from 11 to 21. The youngest is becoming more independent or headstrong, depending on your viewpoint. In turn, I told her that I have two stepsons.

She said that she enjoyed the simple pleasure of fire and that she hoped to have the flames roaring again soon. A woman after my own heart.

I always have time to chat with a pretty lady and it was certainly time well spent last night. While I approached her not wanting to be an intruder, I soon felt welcome, that her questions were genuine. I think I have a good neighbor.

Tea for Two

While not high tea replete with crumpets and cucumber sliders, a friend and I still took tea together at my place over the weekend.

Despite being gimmicky in that the tea is from the same company whose leaves were thrown overboard during the Boston Tea Party, it was tasty stuff. 

A combination of black teas from various locales, our warm mugs helped fend off the day's chill and provide a little afternoon pick me up.

For the occasion, my friend made brown butter rye shortbread.

They weren't very sweet but were endowed with plenty of tastiness. More of a mellow earthy flavor than their wheaty counterparts. I also had some makowiec - Polish poppy seed roll - on offer but it was not to my friend's liking. More for me, I suppose.

This was my first social call at the new place and that meant the world to me. No need to try to schedule something in my wife's absence, no worries about marital tension seeping into the situation. And now I recall that I forgot to send the milk (2%, no semi-skimmed) home with my friend. What to do with it?

The maple leaves are hanging on

This one has some vague Going For the One cover vibes to me.

Words. And music.

Throw away the bad news and put it to rest

...

You'll find that it's better at the end of the line

Decorating the refrigerator

Progress may be slow, but the new digs are becoming my own. Today I put my favorite drawing by my youngest stepson on the refrigerator.

 

Happy All Souls' Day

Do you wish people a happy All Souls' Day or is there another, more appropriate greeting? Not being one of the faithful, I have no idea.

Today I am thinking about the departed, especially my brother. Look at his ancient Teddy bear! May you enjoy warm memories of the departed today.

Song of the day, 2 November

Happy All Souls' Day! Today I remember my brother and so here's one of his favorite songs - and mine.

The Fog

It's a foggy autumn morning and a bit spooky outside.

Well, back to the grindstone. SCCM isn't going to upgrade itself.

Bowling with Jesus

The Christ was at our table for the WORT Bowl-a-thon a couple weekends ago.

I met a friend there and, since we were a team of 2, we got paired up with another couple fellows in the same boat. It had been a long time since I'd been bowling despite meaning to roll a couple lines for the past few years as an excuse to get out of the house.

Immediately I was presented with a few Escanaba Specials.

We were each given a clutch of raffle tickets and so, after putting my bowling shoes on and grabbing a ball that was a bit too light but had the needed space between the finger holes, I wandered down the hall to where the raffle prizes were on display.

While in line waiting for my chance to peruse the prizes, I heard a woman say "Skippy!" It was ***** and she walked over and gave me a great big hug. I hadn't seen her in a few months so it was nice to do so once again. We chatted briefly and she returned to her lane while I looked over the goodies that I just knew in my bones I was going to win. Most of them were concert tickets for shows on dates when I was unavailable and so I stuck with the couple shows I could actually attend.

With about 10 minutes to go before the bowl-a-thon was set to start, we all threw some practice balls. Mine were horrible. Lots of gutters. I just couldn't keep my arm straight. I figured that, as things went along, I'd get warmed up and roll better with the help of Jesus.

It was great fun despite my poor bowling. While my swing did get straighter after a couple frames and I think I broke the 100 mark all three games - not by a whole lot, however - I was a bit disappointed. No worries though as the two fellows we bowled with were very friendly and I had not seen my friend **** in a couple months so it was great to catch up.

Between games I ran into ***** and we chatted for a few minutes. She remarked that she had felt my wife and I would be together forever. So did I, at one time. I gave her some details from my perspective and told her that I had moved out of the marital residence and was starting my life over. ***** kindly noted that I had lost weight and looked "hot". Ha! What a lovely thing to say! She also gave me a big hug that seemed to last and last like the Energizer bunny. It was wonderful!

We also chatted about cats as ***** owns one of Piper's brothers so we had a brief cat catch up before it was again time to bowl. 

With our three games down, we were given bonus raffle tickets and I went to disperse them after I dropped off my shoes. As I strode out of the room I heard a woman call "Skippy!" again from the pit of the lanes in front of me. It took me a couple seconds to recognize her but it was *******, a friend of my wife's that I knew a little. She had been bowling with *****.

The reason that I didn't immediately recognize her was that she had lost a lot of weight due, I would shortly find out, to a battle with cancer. I hadn't seen her in years and so we caught up. She told me of her struggles with cancer but also that she had become a grandmother. *******  told me that she had tried to get a hold of my Frau via text but had been unsuccessful and so had tried another means. I wished her well in her quest and told her all I could about why she hasn't heard back which was next to nothing. In turn, I told her about my divorce and the various changes that it has spawned, both good and bad.

It was lovely to see both ***** and *******. On the way out ***** got my number and shot me a brief text. I replied saying that it was great to see her and ******* and thanked her for her ginormous hug and kind words. She replied by saying that ******* had remarked to her that it was great to see me and that they wanted to take me out one of these days. What an unexpected delight!

Hopefully ******* can get a hold of my Frau and they can relight their friendship. We can all use as many friends as we can get.

Coming soon: more apartments (or condos)

Construction has started on the next bit at Hill Farms - some type of housing.

Piper at the gates of dawn

The leaves are dropping fast so I've got to get photos while I can.

Cats and for those times when square ice cubes just don't cut it

A friend gave me this housewarming gift.

It should say "HOME IS WHERE PIPEY IS" but it's still lovely.

Another friend likes to indulge my gaming dorkness and gifted me this fancy ice cube mold that makes rather large d20 drink cooling icosahedron. That smoked rum I bought in Birmingham is gone so it'll likely be rye next time. 

Song of the day, 31 October 2025

I went to the planetarium last night and, since it's Halloween, it just had to be this.

Happy All Hallows' Eve

I am going to enjoy some spooky music today and then head out of town for a concert so I won't be doling out treats tonight. Truth be known, I don't know if I would even get any.

I've decided to observe All Souls' Day and put together a little shrine to honor my brother. Ten years gone but I think about him everyday. He's with me all the time.

Today I am jammin' the Blue Öyster Cult in honor of this horrific day.

Communication

It was a great gift for me that my father-in-law and his wife have maintained our relationship in the face of my divorce. The former invited me out to dinner recently and I chose Vintage Brewing. I could get a good salad there and I was keen to sample Trickory, a hazelnut chicory porter.

It had nice nutty, roasty notes and took on the promised Nutella taste as it warmed. Good stuff.

We chatted away before, over, and after dinner. Our previous conversations have veered from the kids, to my wife, my wife's mother, how to live, et al. Our talk this time began as our chats usually do with a hefty dose about my stepsons. My worries about my youngest filled many a minute as he is really struggling while the oldest is more settled, more independent.

It is incredible to think that my oldest stepson will soon be 30. I can remember the first time I saw the trio that would become my family. It was at a coffeehouse where I was a regular and my wife came in holding each of my stepsons by the hand. The youngest had a look of timid confusion on his face while the oldest was eagerly looking around, perhaps in expectation of a cup of hot cocoa and a sweet treat. For her part, my wife looked stunning with her big brown eyes and a smile that gave her face a warm maternal glow.

So long ago, so much has changed.

When I met my father-in-law and his wife after the divorce got underway, one of the first things I did was to reassure them that my love for my stepsons and the help I could extend to them weren't going anywhere. Since then my father-in-law and I have uttered many words theorizing how to help them, especially the youngest. The will is there but the practical details are in short supply.

I pay his bills, buy him things he needs like a new phone, and try to keep him fed; I hug him when I see him and tell him that I love him. I do what I can and always feel like a failure and that I should be doing more or doing something differently.

Since the divorce began I've learned quite a bit. My father-in-law has been very forthcoming about various things and I've gotten new perspectives on my wife. Last time he told me about her childhood with an emphasis on her mother. This time around he took a different tack and told me about his divorces - why they happened, how they changed him, and how he got through them.

It was really enlightening to hear an older man talk about this subject so forthrightly, to reflect on his life in that way. He talked about the mistakes he made, his wife's foibles, and how he moved on and created a new life for himself, a process that I have just begun. His lessons gave me hope that my next life will be a good one if I reflect upon my mistakes and my wife's and learn to be a better partner.

From our conversations I've learned a lot about my wife, about her childhood, her relationship with her mother, and how these things have influenced her. The tales that my father-in-law has related have helped me understand the decline and fall of my marriage. They've also helped me see my wife as a flawed human being just trying to get through life just like me, just like the rest of us. I understand her not as a solitary figure who causes me great distress and makes me sad, but as part of a larger whole, someone who emerged from a particular family milieu, had her own unique life experiences, and merged her life with mine for a couple decades with all of that in tow. And, when I see her that way, I can feel my anger subside. Perhaps not completely, but to a great degree.

I don't want to live in anger and my conversations with my father-in-law have helped me find direction and ways to think about my situation that I think will help me live a life of joy, one filled with mirth.

Song of the day, 30 October 2025

One of the pleasures of autumn for me is Orion in antelucan sky. It makes me feel as if it is looking down on me, watching over me. It also reminds me of my brother so perhaps he is looking up at me, watching over me like an argus instead of making me into a couch sandwich.

Song of the Day, 29 October 2025

Yesterday there was a problem with a device in Saukville and I sent an email out notifying interested parties. The subject: Don't go back to Saukville.

I don't believe anyone caught my highly creative pun.

One More Red Morning

Compline, 28 October 2025

I've got some Pearl Jam up loud in my headphones and I am petting Piper in between texts to an old friend who knows more about baseball than perhaps is safe. Things just feel good. I was clapping along to the final verse which is some of the most beautiful music ever devised by mankind.

Stoplight plays its part
So, I would say you've got a part
What's your part? Who you are
You are who, who you are

My boss caught me swaying and boppin' to this song in my chair this afternoon. At least she didn't witness me playing air bass. There were ups and downs this day but overall it was good. The past couple days were really wonderful, very fulfilling, and humbling. I met up with a few people I hadn't seen in ages on Sunday and now I've got two lovely ladies looking to take me out plus a gentleman who wants to go out for a beer and discuss music.

Yesterday I had dinner with my father-in-law and was treated to some heartfelt conversation that was also greatly informative.

Lots of thoughts, lots of pieces to fit together.

The new view out front

 

A final(?) trek to the orchard for the season

Over the weekend a friend and I made our third? fourth? trek out to Lapacek's Orchard of the season. It was pumpkin picking time and a coffee cart was there to warm the pickers.

The goats were enjoying breakfast. 

And one of the cats was out soliciting pets.

I bought some Winesaps. What really lured me in was that, when aged, they take on a flavor like marzipan. 

I am not sure what I'll make with them but apple beer cheese soup is definitely in the running.

My friend knows Kim Lapacek and she revealed her latest project: to document baking a different bundt cake every week for a year. The project is to be called Looking For the Bundt Hole.

On the way home my friend and I decided to break our fasts at the Jet Room. I think what sealed the deal was my revelation that I'd never been there.

The novelty is that it's at the airport, the bit where the private planes of the well-heeled land and take off far from the lines of the hoi polloi who wait in line to take their belts off and be scanned. We only saw this lone jet. 

We witnessed a gentleman clad in suit and tie get out of an SUV and enter the plane but I don't recall it taking off. Perhaps this was because I was too busy with my food and the wonderful conversation.

I lost my BattleTech virginity

The battle raged on this past weekend at my friend's house as we played BattleTech for the first time. Well, it was the initial outing for most of us. It was fun.

My friend had a big BattleMech, the Tiger tank of the game, which was armed and armored to the hilt while I had a lighter but more mobile one. He inflicted some severe damage before I was able to leverage my larger movement score while he sat immobile after his BattleMech had overheated and get in his 6 to lay in on him.

Note the hoopy British rubber duck that I got for my friend while in Birmingham.

Theoretically we'll be playing Symbaroum next weekend. I played it for the first time in a short round at Gamehole Con this year and I am keen on playing a longer scenario as I familiarize myself with another system.

A surfeit of pickles

My boss' garden had a bumper+ crop of cucumbers this year and so she turned a significant portion of her harvest into refrigerator pickles - 40+ jars of them. She generously donated 2 of them to me.

They are very tasty, I can tell you. I look forward to layering some on a sandwich made with my my homemade bread.

Are you going to the party?

While in Concord I picked up some Boston Harbor Tea, a (theoretically) fine blend of teas by the same company whose tea was thrown overboard during the Boston Tea Party.

On Sunday a friend is coming over and we're going to have our own tea party. For the occasion she is making browned butter shortbread made from my favorite grain, rye. (She knows me all-too well.) I acquired some plates today so I can stop eating off of my camping plate and will be able to serve her delectables in style.