A New Mantra
Scientists are funny. I'm watching a documentary examining the brains of teenagers. A neuroscientist is being interviewed and he has a teenage son. The kid is in an MRI machine having his brain scanned. Once the image of the brain appears on the screen, the father looks at it and remarks, "He's got a normal hippocampus - then how come he forgets to take out the garbage?"
Despite arguing with a moving company rep, I am still stuck here until Saturday. I'm having them hold the stuff for a week so I won't actually have to drive to Chicago until next Saturday. An end is in sight.
I had my first hot meal in what feels like ages. It was crappy fast food because I was desperate and in the part of town that's all malls and crap. I did learn today that late afternoon is the time to be at the coffeehouse. Holy fuck where there hotties there today! Unfortunately, I couldn't stay but tomorrow is another day. Also, Chris, the realtor, said that there's fresh strawberries to be had just down the road apiece.
I know I can do this. Just gotta stay sane for a few more days. If the movers are in and outta here early enough, I think I'll hit the road Saturday evening. Otherwise, I'll just get an early start on Sunday. It's about a 17 or 18 hour drive (rougly 1200 miles)and I don't think I'll be able to do it in one go alone. The longest I've driven in one haul is 15 hours. But I had the old man with me for company. If I can get 500 miles in the first day, I'll be happy.
Strawberries, coffee, and coeds...strawberries, coffee, and coeds - my new mantra!
31 March, 2004
The Fun Just Never Stops
Well, I finally got some confirmation of something. The movers will be here on Saturday afternoon - over a week later than originally scheduled. Unfucking real. Even if they arrive between 2-4 when I was told they would, that means the latest I can get outta here is Saturday evening. The death certificates and ashes are still who-the-fuck-knows where. It's been 13 days since my father died. Almost 2 bloody weeks and no one can get me paperwork on it.
The fun just never stops.
Well, I finally got some confirmation of something. The movers will be here on Saturday afternoon - over a week later than originally scheduled. Unfucking real. Even if they arrive between 2-4 when I was told they would, that means the latest I can get outta here is Saturday evening. The death certificates and ashes are still who-the-fuck-knows where. It's been 13 days since my father died. Almost 2 bloody weeks and no one can get me paperwork on it.
The fun just never stops.
News
What a horrid day for news. First I read about more US soldiers being killed and then about 4 Westerners being attacked, their bodies hung from a bridge, and their corpses mutiliated and dragged through the streets. I got this from a South African news site:
"As the flames died down men pulled one of the bodies out, laid it on the ground and mutilated it with shovels, hacking off parts and shouting 'long live Islam'."
I mean, I can understand that the people who shot at and launced the RPGs were probably not your average Joe Muslims. They were probably extremists - insurgents. But the mob that dragged the bodies out - it sounds like they were just area residents. I guess that's what Allah wanted. Allah's on one side and God on another - it just sickens me. As Richard Dawkins wrote in the aftermath of 9/11:
"To label people as death-deserving enemies because of disagreements about real world politics is bad enough. To do the same for disagreements about a delusional world inhabited by archangels, demons and imaginary friends is ludicrously tragic."
Then I read this dreadful story:
"The 19 year-old mother of a 20 month-old baby girl was visiting friends at the Olievenhoutbos informal settlement near Pretoria, when her 30 year-old boyfriend came to pick the baby up.
He later brought the crying baby back to her and left. Paramedics were called when the mother and neighbours discovered the baby's genitals were bleeding. The district surgeon confirmed that the baby had been raped.
The 30-year-old Pretoria man has now been found and arrested and will appear before the Pretoria Regional Court on Tuesday."
What kind of person would do anything sexual with a 20 month-old infant?!? That guy is one diseased, perverted fucker.
Oh, for some good news...
What a horrid day for news. First I read about more US soldiers being killed and then about 4 Westerners being attacked, their bodies hung from a bridge, and their corpses mutiliated and dragged through the streets. I got this from a South African news site:
"As the flames died down men pulled one of the bodies out, laid it on the ground and mutilated it with shovels, hacking off parts and shouting 'long live Islam'."
I mean, I can understand that the people who shot at and launced the RPGs were probably not your average Joe Muslims. They were probably extremists - insurgents. But the mob that dragged the bodies out - it sounds like they were just area residents. I guess that's what Allah wanted. Allah's on one side and God on another - it just sickens me. As Richard Dawkins wrote in the aftermath of 9/11:
"To label people as death-deserving enemies because of disagreements about real world politics is bad enough. To do the same for disagreements about a delusional world inhabited by archangels, demons and imaginary friends is ludicrously tragic."
Then I read this dreadful story:
"The 19 year-old mother of a 20 month-old baby girl was visiting friends at the Olievenhoutbos informal settlement near Pretoria, when her 30 year-old boyfriend came to pick the baby up.
He later brought the crying baby back to her and left. Paramedics were called when the mother and neighbours discovered the baby's genitals were bleeding. The district surgeon confirmed that the baby had been raped.
The 30-year-old Pretoria man has now been found and arrested and will appear before the Pretoria Regional Court on Tuesday."
What kind of person would do anything sexual with a 20 month-old infant?!? That guy is one diseased, perverted fucker.
Oh, for some good news...
Why?? Part Deux
In my last entry, I decried the casting of Keanu Reeves as Bob Arctor in the film version of Philip K. Dick's novel A Scanner Darkly. The news was revealed to me via email by Old Man Standiford. In classic film-geek mode, I replied:
"*voice of officer in Lawrence of Arabia* OUTRAGEOUS"
This is from the scene when the officer walks into the Turkish hospital and finds the foul conditions there. Later, Dogger replied:
"*voice of Vizzini* INCONTHIEVABLE!"
Vizzini, as you may recall, is the rogue from The Princess Bride.
Ahhh, the joys of being a geek...
In my last entry, I decried the casting of Keanu Reeves as Bob Arctor in the film version of Philip K. Dick's novel A Scanner Darkly. The news was revealed to me via email by Old Man Standiford. In classic film-geek mode, I replied:
"*voice of officer in Lawrence of Arabia* OUTRAGEOUS"
This is from the scene when the officer walks into the Turkish hospital and finds the foul conditions there. Later, Dogger replied:
"*voice of Vizzini* INCONTHIEVABLE!"
Vizzini, as you may recall, is the rogue from The Princess Bride.
Ahhh, the joys of being a geek...
30 March, 2004
Why??
From the Sci-Fi Channel website:
Keanu Reeves will star in A Scanner Darkly, based on a Philip K. Dick novel, for Warner Independent Pictures, Variety reported. Richard Linklater (School of Rock) is in talks to direct, the trade paper reported. George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh's Section 8 will produce.
A Scanner Darkly will employ the same technology Linklater used in Waking Life: It will be shot live-action, then animated, the trade paper reported.
The story takes place in the future, where undercover agents change their faces along with their identities. Reeves plays one such officer, and his liberal ingestion of the drug Substance D causes him to develop a split personality, the trade paper reported.
Christ! Why would anyone take a perfectly good PKD story and add that slush-pumping buttnuggett Keanu Reeves?!? Well, you can't blame Linklater as he's not even attached to the project yet. I blame Clooney and Soderbergh. Well, we'll see...
Keanu Reeves will star in A Scanner Darkly, based on a Philip K. Dick novel, for Warner Independent Pictures, Variety reported. Richard Linklater (School of Rock) is in talks to direct, the trade paper reported. George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh's Section 8 will produce.
A Scanner Darkly will employ the same technology Linklater used in Waking Life: It will be shot live-action, then animated, the trade paper reported.
The story takes place in the future, where undercover agents change their faces along with their identities. Reeves plays one such officer, and his liberal ingestion of the drug Substance D causes him to develop a split personality, the trade paper reported.
Christ! Why would anyone take a perfectly good PKD story and add that slush-pumping buttnuggett Keanu Reeves?!? Well, you can't blame Linklater as he's not even attached to the project yet. I blame Clooney and Soderbergh. Well, we'll see...
Look What ARAPANET Became
Checking out the news, I see that Dubya is in my home state today - up in Appleton. I wonder if Tommy came with him. (Secretary of Health and Human Services, Tommy Thompson, is our former governor.)
And there's the big hubbub about Condy Rice testifying. Outside of her actions regarding 9/11, I have to say that I think it's great that there's a black woman in the Cabinet. There was, perhaps, a bit of "tokenness" to her appointment but, still, I think it's wonderful. Women have been fucked over in this country for far too long by half and black women doubly so. I hope to be alive when a woman is elected President but I think a black woman being elected won't happen until I'm long gone, unfortunately.
I found a newsgroup that has mp3s of various people's testimonies before the 9/11 Commission. There really is some wonderful, enriching, as well as important stuff to be found on the Net. Sometime you just have to know where to look. Thinking about this made me laugh as it seems that history has repeated itself.
When radio came along, many people had this utopian vision that it could be used for the common good. High culture like opera could be available to everyone who had a radio. Educational programs could be broadcast and lisened to by those unable to afford formal schooling. But these ideas went down the shitter in favor of Lux Theater and so on. (Not to say that there weren't some great programs like Hear It Now.) Then TV comes along and these same ideas return. But it too became a vaste wasteland. PBS was created here in the States in an attempt to stave off vulgarity. Nowadays, it has to beg for funding and is seemingly always under attack from some group in Congress that wants to cut its funding or privatize it. Then, in the late 70s, the promise of cable TV appeared. More utopian bleatings. Benjamin Barber even wrote a book espousing the technology as a way to achieve a true democracy. But, after the lessons of radio and broadcast TV, did anyone really believe that cable would be any different?
Then in the 90s, the Internet became a phenomenon. Again, utopian rhetoric flourished. While there are definite differences between radio & television on the one hand, and the Net on the other, it still seems like the latter has fallen prey to commercialization. But it may be too early to tell what will happen in the long run. The Internet is decentralized and anyone with a connection and an ISP can present themselves to the world. Unfortunately, it seems like the Net is more known as a haven of pornography, shopping, and music theft more than anything resembling a decentralized forum for average Janes and Joes. Instead of getting our news from CNN on the TV, we go to their web page. Instead of going down to the convenience store to pick up the latest issue of Hustler, we just find porn on the Net. It's like the medium has changed but the content remains the same.
But there are the equivalents of C-SPAN, NPR, and PBS on the Internet. (Apologies to all you non-Americans out there.) Access to smaller publications whose views are outside of the mainstream media is now available to those that never had it previously. A wealth of classic literature is available for free at the Project Gutenberg web site. The Internet also serves as encyclopedia and dictionary. Hell, nearly a whole reference library. Governments from all levels have a presence on the Net and, in my opinion, it is easier to navigate their web sites than their phone systems. Instead of having to call and request a form be mailed to you, one can just download it. Many people can avoid the long lines and waits at the DMV by using the Internet. Geneological research has become easier as well. And, right now I'm downloading Richard Clarke's testimony he gave to the 9/11 Commission to help me understand what the hell is going on with my government. The one of, by, and for the people. And let's not forget email and chatting - keeping in touch with friends and family is easier.
Of course, there's the dark side. That is, illegal stuff. Music can be downloaded as well as movies, books, etc. Don't wanna pay $25 for the new Dan Brown novel? Don't worry - it'll be downloadable for free shortly after its publication. Do you like just one song on the new Evanescence album and don't feel like paying $15 for it? It can be had (and probably even before the album is released.) One flipside to all the porn that is readily available is that erotica is also easily obtainable. As is Viagra. And so too is absinthe. Just about everything is out there waiting for you - if you know where to look.
There's just so much of it. Sure, there are tons and tons of crappy blogs but there are some interesting and insightful ones as well. You can download an audiobook of a Danille Steele novel easily enough but you can also snag mp3s of public lectures given by physicist Richard Feynman. You can watch a stream of celebrities showing up at an awards ceremony but you can also watch independent movies and documentaries. Of course, you wouldn't want to make a life out of this. You should still see movies on the big screen as they were meant to be seen. And nothing beats connecting with people face-to-face. Still, there's a lot out there to help enrich your life. But, in the end, that's still something you have to do.
And there's the big hubbub about Condy Rice testifying. Outside of her actions regarding 9/11, I have to say that I think it's great that there's a black woman in the Cabinet. There was, perhaps, a bit of "tokenness" to her appointment but, still, I think it's wonderful. Women have been fucked over in this country for far too long by half and black women doubly so. I hope to be alive when a woman is elected President but I think a black woman being elected won't happen until I'm long gone, unfortunately.
I found a newsgroup that has mp3s of various people's testimonies before the 9/11 Commission. There really is some wonderful, enriching, as well as important stuff to be found on the Net. Sometime you just have to know where to look. Thinking about this made me laugh as it seems that history has repeated itself.
When radio came along, many people had this utopian vision that it could be used for the common good. High culture like opera could be available to everyone who had a radio. Educational programs could be broadcast and lisened to by those unable to afford formal schooling. But these ideas went down the shitter in favor of Lux Theater and so on. (Not to say that there weren't some great programs like Hear It Now.) Then TV comes along and these same ideas return. But it too became a vaste wasteland. PBS was created here in the States in an attempt to stave off vulgarity. Nowadays, it has to beg for funding and is seemingly always under attack from some group in Congress that wants to cut its funding or privatize it. Then, in the late 70s, the promise of cable TV appeared. More utopian bleatings. Benjamin Barber even wrote a book espousing the technology as a way to achieve a true democracy. But, after the lessons of radio and broadcast TV, did anyone really believe that cable would be any different?
Then in the 90s, the Internet became a phenomenon. Again, utopian rhetoric flourished. While there are definite differences between radio & television on the one hand, and the Net on the other, it still seems like the latter has fallen prey to commercialization. But it may be too early to tell what will happen in the long run. The Internet is decentralized and anyone with a connection and an ISP can present themselves to the world. Unfortunately, it seems like the Net is more known as a haven of pornography, shopping, and music theft more than anything resembling a decentralized forum for average Janes and Joes. Instead of getting our news from CNN on the TV, we go to their web page. Instead of going down to the convenience store to pick up the latest issue of Hustler, we just find porn on the Net. It's like the medium has changed but the content remains the same.
But there are the equivalents of C-SPAN, NPR, and PBS on the Internet. (Apologies to all you non-Americans out there.) Access to smaller publications whose views are outside of the mainstream media is now available to those that never had it previously. A wealth of classic literature is available for free at the Project Gutenberg web site. The Internet also serves as encyclopedia and dictionary. Hell, nearly a whole reference library. Governments from all levels have a presence on the Net and, in my opinion, it is easier to navigate their web sites than their phone systems. Instead of having to call and request a form be mailed to you, one can just download it. Many people can avoid the long lines and waits at the DMV by using the Internet. Geneological research has become easier as well. And, right now I'm downloading Richard Clarke's testimony he gave to the 9/11 Commission to help me understand what the hell is going on with my government. The one of, by, and for the people. And let's not forget email and chatting - keeping in touch with friends and family is easier.
Of course, there's the dark side. That is, illegal stuff. Music can be downloaded as well as movies, books, etc. Don't wanna pay $25 for the new Dan Brown novel? Don't worry - it'll be downloadable for free shortly after its publication. Do you like just one song on the new Evanescence album and don't feel like paying $15 for it? It can be had (and probably even before the album is released.) One flipside to all the porn that is readily available is that erotica is also easily obtainable. As is Viagra. And so too is absinthe. Just about everything is out there waiting for you - if you know where to look.
There's just so much of it. Sure, there are tons and tons of crappy blogs but there are some interesting and insightful ones as well. You can download an audiobook of a Danille Steele novel easily enough but you can also snag mp3s of public lectures given by physicist Richard Feynman. You can watch a stream of celebrities showing up at an awards ceremony but you can also watch independent movies and documentaries. Of course, you wouldn't want to make a life out of this. You should still see movies on the big screen as they were meant to be seen. And nothing beats connecting with people face-to-face. Still, there's a lot out there to help enrich your life. But, in the end, that's still something you have to do.
Metal Morning
I am impressed with the new line-up of Metallica. Robert Trujillo is a worthy addition on bass. I have listened to some Infectious Grooves before and he was in a video for that acoustic/bluegrass band. (The video is pretty amusing in that the band walks into a music store, picks up some instruments and starts playing. So you got these totally white bread-looking people on mandolin, fiddle, and guitar while Trujillo is Native American, I think, and decked out with tattoos everywhere playing the upright bass. The song is really good but I don't know if he actually plays on the album or not.) Anyway, the contrast of their voices and singing styles really adds some energy to their performances. His demonic laughter is really creepy on "Sad But True". And "Creeping Death" here is just great! Ride the Lightning is my favorite album of theirs but I've been wanting to hear a couple songs from ...And Justice For All. Heavy metal just sounds so good now. I was never a huge metal fan but lived with a guy for a while who was so I enjoy a smattering of it. Metllica, some Megadeth, Sepultura, et al. (Did you know that Les Claypool of Primus auditioned for Metallica after original bassist Cliff Burton died?)
29 March, 2004
What Is It With Rock Stars?
First there was that assnugget in Madison, now there's this from the AP:
VILNIUS, Lithuania - A Lithuanian court found French rock star Bertrand Cantat guilty on Monday of manslaughter for the beating death of his movie-star girlfriend and sentenced him to eight years in prison in a case that has horrified many in France.
.....
Cantat's lawyer, Olivier Metzner, said he would appeal the verdict, calling it "absolutely excessive."
....
The multimillionaire singer, held in the Czarist-era Lukiskes Prison since his arrest eight months ago, told judges he slapped Trintignant four times in a drunken stupor — contradicting prosecutors who said he fatally punched her at least 19 times in a jealous rage.
"Everything happened very fast," he said during the trial. "Never, never did I want things to happen that way. This hand should never have risen. And I do not accept myself having raised this hand."
An ambulance was called to the hotel at around 7:30 a.m., by which time Trintignant had already been in a coma for two hours. While still in a coma and on life support, she was flown by private jet days later to France — where she died Aug. 1.
Alright, now maybe the English translations are off-kilter here or something. I interpret his statements as admissions of guilt. "Well, I just meant to beat the living shit out of her, not actually kill her, Your Honor." The woman was in a coma for 2 fucking hours before an ambulance was called! And, in typical lawyer fashion, 8 years in jail for taking someone's life is "excessive". His brutality towards his girlfriend was apparently just the right amount for that shitknocker. How the fuck can a lawyer call the sentence excessive when your client admits to beating someone which eventually causes her death? It's too fucking lenient, if you ask me.
This kind of shit gets in my craw. Not only do rich people get off easier than they should, but it makes all men look like a bunch of savage barbarians. I've seen the look of women who feared that I was going to rape them. It happened to me a few times in college. That look on their faces was chilling. And it made me feel horrible because I never had any such intentions. Sure, I wanted to get laid, but I wasn't going to force them into anything. But guys like Howie Day and this buttnugget put the fear of God into women. Men need to rally in these cases and string guys like that up by their balls.
VILNIUS, Lithuania - A Lithuanian court found French rock star Bertrand Cantat guilty on Monday of manslaughter for the beating death of his movie-star girlfriend and sentenced him to eight years in prison in a case that has horrified many in France.
.....
Cantat's lawyer, Olivier Metzner, said he would appeal the verdict, calling it "absolutely excessive."
....
The multimillionaire singer, held in the Czarist-era Lukiskes Prison since his arrest eight months ago, told judges he slapped Trintignant four times in a drunken stupor — contradicting prosecutors who said he fatally punched her at least 19 times in a jealous rage.
"Everything happened very fast," he said during the trial. "Never, never did I want things to happen that way. This hand should never have risen. And I do not accept myself having raised this hand."
An ambulance was called to the hotel at around 7:30 a.m., by which time Trintignant had already been in a coma for two hours. While still in a coma and on life support, she was flown by private jet days later to France — where she died Aug. 1.
Alright, now maybe the English translations are off-kilter here or something. I interpret his statements as admissions of guilt. "Well, I just meant to beat the living shit out of her, not actually kill her, Your Honor." The woman was in a coma for 2 fucking hours before an ambulance was called! And, in typical lawyer fashion, 8 years in jail for taking someone's life is "excessive". His brutality towards his girlfriend was apparently just the right amount for that shitknocker. How the fuck can a lawyer call the sentence excessive when your client admits to beating someone which eventually causes her death? It's too fucking lenient, if you ask me.
This kind of shit gets in my craw. Not only do rich people get off easier than they should, but it makes all men look like a bunch of savage barbarians. I've seen the look of women who feared that I was going to rape them. It happened to me a few times in college. That look on their faces was chilling. And it made me feel horrible because I never had any such intentions. Sure, I wanted to get laid, but I wasn't going to force them into anything. But guys like Howie Day and this buttnugget put the fear of God into women. Men need to rally in these cases and string guys like that up by their balls.
Our Governor Blogs!
From the same source:
Want to know what Gov. Jim Doyle is up to in China? Read his blog.
He left Wisconsin last week for trade mission to China, along with dozens of Wisconsin businesspeople who are reportedly paying for the trip.
On Wedneday, Doyle spent the day in the highly populated city of Shanghai.
"I have never seen so much housing in such a small area," Doyle wrote. "As we drove around, we saw apartment high-rise after high-rise. They were enormous. In about a quarter mile, I think I saw enough housing for the entire population of Milwaukee. And no wonder -- with a population of more than 20 million, the city of Shanghai alone has almost four times as many people as the entire state of Wisconsin."
The blog includes video and audio clips, including an audio clip from Tuesday when the Doyle had a conference call with reporters in Wisconsin.
Doyle said he decided to keep a blog for this trip for schoolchildren to learn more about China.
Next, Doyle will be visiting Nanjing and then Hong Kong before he returns March 31. His office says this is the largest trade delegation in Wisconsin history and the second largest state trade delegation ever to visit China. Last year, Wisconsin's exports to China increased by more than 50 percent and included everything from Wisconsin ginseng to manufactured goods to high-tech medical supplies.
Doyle said Wisconsin had barely begun to tap China's full potential and that could provide high-paying jobs here.
Want to know what Gov. Jim Doyle is up to in China? Read his blog.
He left Wisconsin last week for trade mission to China, along with dozens of Wisconsin businesspeople who are reportedly paying for the trip.
On Wedneday, Doyle spent the day in the highly populated city of Shanghai.
"I have never seen so much housing in such a small area," Doyle wrote. "As we drove around, we saw apartment high-rise after high-rise. They were enormous. In about a quarter mile, I think I saw enough housing for the entire population of Milwaukee. And no wonder -- with a population of more than 20 million, the city of Shanghai alone has almost four times as many people as the entire state of Wisconsin."
The blog includes video and audio clips, including an audio clip from Tuesday when the Doyle had a conference call with reporters in Wisconsin.
Doyle said he decided to keep a blog for this trip for schoolchildren to learn more about China.
Next, Doyle will be visiting Nanjing and then Hong Kong before he returns March 31. His office says this is the largest trade delegation in Wisconsin history and the second largest state trade delegation ever to visit China. Last year, Wisconsin's exports to China increased by more than 50 percent and included everything from Wisconsin ginseng to manufactured goods to high-tech medical supplies.
Doyle said Wisconsin had barely begun to tap China's full potential and that could provide high-paying jobs here.
I Can Taste Home
From the website of a Madison TV station:
MADISON, Wis. -- Next to Nevada and New Hampshire, Wisconsin consumes more beer per person than the rest of the country. Last year, state producers rolled out more than 8.5 million barrels of beer -- an increase of 7.6 percent or 500,000 barrels.
Surprisingly, nationwide beer production dropped 1.4 percent, but beer connoisseurs say Wisconsin's success is no surprise. They believe many people would choose a local brew over a national chain.
"It's just the creativity and the originality that goes into it, the thought process versus something that's just a chain," said Billie Ruden of Muscatine, Iowa. Billie and her husband, Andrew, are spending their honeymoon visiting local breweries in Wisconsin.
"Wisconsin makes the best beer around," said Jim Campbell, a bartender at Baumgartner Cheese Store and Tavern. "They have great tasting beer, not just at the Huber Brewery, but New Glarus, City Brewery, they make great beer."
Gary Olson, a plant manager at the Joseph Huber Brewing Company, agrees and says the state's reputation helped boost its own brew.
"Because of contracts, we have increased our production significantly last year and expect bigger gains this year," said Olson.
Three days a week, the Huber plant cranks out more than 1,000 barrels or about 347,000 glasses of beer. Olson says production increased from about 48,000 barrels in 2002 to nearly 80,000 barrels last year.
"Even a year ago, we brewed one day a week so three times a week is quite an increase," said Olson.
Based on current trends, Olson figures Huber brewing will produce about 140,000 barrels this year. He says specialty brews, such as Huber's Summer Solstice Wit, will help keep local breweries busy and fuel production.
MADISON, Wis. -- Next to Nevada and New Hampshire, Wisconsin consumes more beer per person than the rest of the country. Last year, state producers rolled out more than 8.5 million barrels of beer -- an increase of 7.6 percent or 500,000 barrels.
Surprisingly, nationwide beer production dropped 1.4 percent, but beer connoisseurs say Wisconsin's success is no surprise. They believe many people would choose a local brew over a national chain.
"It's just the creativity and the originality that goes into it, the thought process versus something that's just a chain," said Billie Ruden of Muscatine, Iowa. Billie and her husband, Andrew, are spending their honeymoon visiting local breweries in Wisconsin.
"Wisconsin makes the best beer around," said Jim Campbell, a bartender at Baumgartner Cheese Store and Tavern. "They have great tasting beer, not just at the Huber Brewery, but New Glarus, City Brewery, they make great beer."
Gary Olson, a plant manager at the Joseph Huber Brewing Company, agrees and says the state's reputation helped boost its own brew.
"Because of contracts, we have increased our production significantly last year and expect bigger gains this year," said Olson.
Three days a week, the Huber plant cranks out more than 1,000 barrels or about 347,000 glasses of beer. Olson says production increased from about 48,000 barrels in 2002 to nearly 80,000 barrels last year.
"Even a year ago, we brewed one day a week so three times a week is quite an increase," said Olson.
Based on current trends, Olson figures Huber brewing will produce about 140,000 barrels this year. He says specialty brews, such as Huber's Summer Solstice Wit, will help keep local breweries busy and fuel production.
Have Mercy
Monday morning and it don't look fine. And I've got travelin on my mind. (Sorry Mr. Buckingham.) It's raining and good. I've got "Equinox" by John Coltrane playing. The moving company opens in about 2 and a half hours. Hopefully the death certificates will be moving from the funeral home to the coroner around the same time. While I'm hoping against hope that this is the home stretch, I also have this sinking feeling that I'm going to be here for a few more days yet. It really sucks being at the mercy of beauracracies.
28 March, 2004
Lloyd Could Have Said This
Young people are too busy trying to figure out what they want to be to figure out who they are.
Night Has Fallen
I ran a couple quick errands and now I'm downloading the BBC radio drama of Isaac Asimov's Foundation Trilogy. It should make for some amusing listening. I went on a big Asimov kick about 10 years ago and read all of the Foundation books consecutively. After finishing, I vowed to never read his fiction again. He is soooo white bread. But I never said a word about dramatic interpretation of his work for radio. Right now, I really wish I had my collection of Doctor Who audio dramas with me. (As if they are any less dorkier...)
I bought some decent coffee and am enjoying a pot right now as I try to plan tomorrow. I need to call the moving company. I also must find a service that will mow the lawn occasionally until the place is sold. Joe might come over tomorrow to get an entertainment center and, hopefully, bring word that he's found someone to buy the dryer. And hell, maybe I'll get lucky and get those darn death certificates. Places will be open for business and I can at least feel like I'm making progress even if my phone calls are for naught.
I bought some decent coffee and am enjoying a pot right now as I try to plan tomorrow. I need to call the moving company. I also must find a service that will mow the lawn occasionally until the place is sold. Joe might come over tomorrow to get an entertainment center and, hopefully, bring word that he's found someone to buy the dryer. And hell, maybe I'll get lucky and get those darn death certificates. Places will be open for business and I can at least feel like I'm making progress even if my phone calls are for naught.
News From Home
From the Associated Press:
MADISON, Wis. - Singer Howie Day was arrested for apparently locking a woman in a bathroom and breaking another woman's cell phone after one of the women allegedly refused his sexual advances.
Day, 23, who opened for the band Barenaked Ladies at a concert Wednesday, was charged Friday with misdemeanor counts of criminal damage to property and disorderly conduct in connection with the post-concert incident on his tour bus.
Day was released from jail after posting $850 bail Thursday. He is scheduled for a court appearance on April 1.
According to a criminal complaint, Day allegedly locked a woman in a bathroom on the tour bus after she refused his sexual advance. He then broke the cell phone of another woman trying to call police.
"That was probably wrong of me," Day told police of breaking the phone. "But I felt violated."
The singer-songwriter has received critical acclaim with his 2003 album "Stop All the World Now."
He felt violated?!? What kind of fucked-up, stupid-ass comment is that? Nevermind the woman locked in the bathroom because she won't put out for a dickhead like you.
MADISON, Wis. - Singer Howie Day was arrested for apparently locking a woman in a bathroom and breaking another woman's cell phone after one of the women allegedly refused his sexual advances.
Day, 23, who opened for the band Barenaked Ladies at a concert Wednesday, was charged Friday with misdemeanor counts of criminal damage to property and disorderly conduct in connection with the post-concert incident on his tour bus.
Day was released from jail after posting $850 bail Thursday. He is scheduled for a court appearance on April 1.
According to a criminal complaint, Day allegedly locked a woman in a bathroom on the tour bus after she refused his sexual advance. He then broke the cell phone of another woman trying to call police.
"That was probably wrong of me," Day told police of breaking the phone. "But I felt violated."
The singer-songwriter has received critical acclaim with his 2003 album "Stop All the World Now."
He felt violated?!? What kind of fucked-up, stupid-ass comment is that? Nevermind the woman locked in the bathroom because she won't put out for a dickhead like you.
Medieval Prurience
I just finished reading an interview with Terry Jones of Monty Python fame. In it, he talked about a new TV show of his called "Terry Jones' Medieval Lives" that he's making with the BBC. Having seen that mini-series he did about The Crusades from several years back, I was pleased to read that he is continuing his exploration of the time period as it is also a favorite of mine. Unfortunately, it started airing last month so it probably won't make it to these shores for a while yet. Here's an excerpt from the interview:
So the aim of the show and why I wanted to make it was really to get away from the stereotypes about the Middle Ages. Also to get away from the misconceptions that surround the Middle Ages. Of course, it isn't really a period at all it's just sort of an emotional group of centuries. But to get away from the idea that this was all darkness in England and then the Renaissance comes along and everything is light and the modern world begins. That’s total fiction. A lot of the superstition in England is actually Renaissance not Medieval. For example, the idea of witchcraft and then the burning of witches, which people would say, “Oh, Medieval” is not Medieval at all! That's totally Renaissance. In the Middle Ages people didn't really believe in witchcraft. Before then the authorities and people didn't take it seriously. But then in 1484, when you're really into the Renaissance by then, the Pope suddenly declares that witchcraft was a real thing and really sort of announced open season on women. It was all part of the deterioration in the condition of women that happened after the 14th century from the 15th century onward until the 20th century. In the Middle Ages women had rights and had individuality. By the 14th century, women were sort of getting quite a lot of equality in terms of actually what they could do, in terms of jobs, in terms of how they were regarded in society. This was all kind of turned back with the Reformation and the Renaissance and women were de-sexualized as part of the way for men to keep them under control.
One of the curious things we came across was that in the images of St. George and the Dragon in the 15th century the dragon begins to acquire female genitalia, which is really quite weird, you know what I mean? The woman, Samantha Richards, who has been doing research on it, thinks that it's all to do with the men demonizing female sexuality. So St. George comes and delivers the damsel from the demon of her sexuality. I mean, we see this happening until the 19th century, when women are regarded as not having any sexuality. If a woman shows an interest in sex she's led off to be put off into a lunacy asylum. The Victorian concept of women was totally desexualized. That would have been very kind of surprising to anybody in the Middle Ages. One of the nice things we come up with in the Damsel is that if a woman felt that her man was under performing, wasn't any good in bed. She was quite at liberty to go public about it and we have various legal cases, in which a jury of 12 maidens, or 12 trusted women were gathered to look at a certain man's member to see whether he gets an erection or not. There was one man whose wife complained that his member was underperforming, so he was examined by 12 good women. One of them got rather carried away and according to the legal record, exposed her naked breasts to William, and with her hands warmed from the fire rubbed his part, still he couldn't get an erection. Whereby everybody sort of cursed him and told him he was no good. Terrible way to enter history, really.
Thank Aphrodite that the last bit is no longer being practiced! Ahem...Can you imagine if it were? Holy fuck, if the sales of Viagra are anything to go on, women probably wouldn't have any time for anything else excepting have to judge men's members. Makes me wonder how Victorians could have ever thought women to be asexual. It's pretty obvious that frauleins are more sexual than men. Remember what Tiresias said? If some of my female friends are right, there's a lot of bang-bang-squirt and then falling asleep going on out there on the part of men.
So the aim of the show and why I wanted to make it was really to get away from the stereotypes about the Middle Ages. Also to get away from the misconceptions that surround the Middle Ages. Of course, it isn't really a period at all it's just sort of an emotional group of centuries. But to get away from the idea that this was all darkness in England and then the Renaissance comes along and everything is light and the modern world begins. That’s total fiction. A lot of the superstition in England is actually Renaissance not Medieval. For example, the idea of witchcraft and then the burning of witches, which people would say, “Oh, Medieval” is not Medieval at all! That's totally Renaissance. In the Middle Ages people didn't really believe in witchcraft. Before then the authorities and people didn't take it seriously. But then in 1484, when you're really into the Renaissance by then, the Pope suddenly declares that witchcraft was a real thing and really sort of announced open season on women. It was all part of the deterioration in the condition of women that happened after the 14th century from the 15th century onward until the 20th century. In the Middle Ages women had rights and had individuality. By the 14th century, women were sort of getting quite a lot of equality in terms of actually what they could do, in terms of jobs, in terms of how they were regarded in society. This was all kind of turned back with the Reformation and the Renaissance and women were de-sexualized as part of the way for men to keep them under control.
One of the curious things we came across was that in the images of St. George and the Dragon in the 15th century the dragon begins to acquire female genitalia, which is really quite weird, you know what I mean? The woman, Samantha Richards, who has been doing research on it, thinks that it's all to do with the men demonizing female sexuality. So St. George comes and delivers the damsel from the demon of her sexuality. I mean, we see this happening until the 19th century, when women are regarded as not having any sexuality. If a woman shows an interest in sex she's led off to be put off into a lunacy asylum. The Victorian concept of women was totally desexualized. That would have been very kind of surprising to anybody in the Middle Ages. One of the nice things we come up with in the Damsel is that if a woman felt that her man was under performing, wasn't any good in bed. She was quite at liberty to go public about it and we have various legal cases, in which a jury of 12 maidens, or 12 trusted women were gathered to look at a certain man's member to see whether he gets an erection or not. There was one man whose wife complained that his member was underperforming, so he was examined by 12 good women. One of them got rather carried away and according to the legal record, exposed her naked breasts to William, and with her hands warmed from the fire rubbed his part, still he couldn't get an erection. Whereby everybody sort of cursed him and told him he was no good. Terrible way to enter history, really.
Thank Aphrodite that the last bit is no longer being practiced! Ahem...Can you imagine if it were? Holy fuck, if the sales of Viagra are anything to go on, women probably wouldn't have any time for anything else excepting have to judge men's members. Makes me wonder how Victorians could have ever thought women to be asexual. It's pretty obvious that frauleins are more sexual than men. Remember what Tiresias said? If some of my female friends are right, there's a lot of bang-bang-squirt and then falling asleep going on out there on the part of men.
Like That Mike Bloomfield Quote
If your life was a movie...
1) What song would be playing in the opening credits?
"Also Sprach Zarathustra" - Strauss
2) Hot sex Scene?
"Catwoman" - Reptile Palace Orchestra
2A) Goofy Sex Scene?
"La Gazza Ladra" - Rossini
3) Driving Scene that mostly consists of flashbacks and lost love?
"Lavender" - Marillion
4) Hissy Fit Scene?
"I Know What Boys Like" -The Waitresses
5) Unjustified Violence Scene?
"Sparks" (Live) - The Who
6) Leaving Family and/or Loved Ones Behind On a Journey Scene?
"We Said Hello, Goodbye" - Phil Collins
7) Restless Sleep/Eerie Dreams Scene?
"Requiem for Soprano, Mezzo Soprano, Two Mixed Choirs & Orchestra" - Ligeti
8) Quiet Romantic Cuddling Scene?
"Silent Sorrow in Empty Boats" - Genesis
9) Random Melodramatic Realization Scene?
The music from Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition sketch.
10) Car Chase Scene?
"Murder For the Money" - Morphine
11) Death Of A Loved One Scene?
"Down There By the Train" - Johnny Cash
12) Unnecessary Big-Budget Square-Dancing Scene?
"Hoedown" - Emerson, Lake and Palmer (Copeland)
13) The Me-Kicking-The-Crap-Out-Of-People-I-Don't-Like Scene?
"B'Boom" - King Crimson
14) Closing Credits?
"Windfall" - Son Volt
1) What song would be playing in the opening credits?
"Also Sprach Zarathustra" - Strauss
2) Hot sex Scene?
"Catwoman" - Reptile Palace Orchestra
2A) Goofy Sex Scene?
"La Gazza Ladra" - Rossini
3) Driving Scene that mostly consists of flashbacks and lost love?
"Lavender" - Marillion
4) Hissy Fit Scene?
"I Know What Boys Like" -The Waitresses
5) Unjustified Violence Scene?
"Sparks" (Live) - The Who
6) Leaving Family and/or Loved Ones Behind On a Journey Scene?
"We Said Hello, Goodbye" - Phil Collins
7) Restless Sleep/Eerie Dreams Scene?
"Requiem for Soprano, Mezzo Soprano, Two Mixed Choirs & Orchestra" - Ligeti
8) Quiet Romantic Cuddling Scene?
"Silent Sorrow in Empty Boats" - Genesis
9) Random Melodramatic Realization Scene?
The music from Monty Python's Spanish Inquisition sketch.
10) Car Chase Scene?
"Murder For the Money" - Morphine
11) Death Of A Loved One Scene?
"Down There By the Train" - Johnny Cash
12) Unnecessary Big-Budget Square-Dancing Scene?
"Hoedown" - Emerson, Lake and Palmer (Copeland)
13) The Me-Kicking-The-Crap-Out-Of-People-I-Don't-Like Scene?
"B'Boom" - King Crimson
14) Closing Credits?
"Windfall" - Son Volt
27 March, 2004
One Down, ? To Go
Listening to this Y'Alternative Internet radio station is now becoming a tease. I find that I really want to listen to some Whiskeytown. Everyone once in a while it plays a song of theirs and, more frequently, some Ryan Adams but I wanna hear Strangers Almanac.
I was toying with this camera but I can't get it to focus when the wide-angle lense is mounted. D'oh! I finally shaved today with one of these egregiously cheap disposable razors. It did a crappy job on my jawline and tore apart my poor, sensitive neck. My cheeks, however, are nice'n'smooth. I find this odd considering I've been using cheap little bar soap - the kind you find in hotels. (My dad had boxes of the stuff.) I took a picture of myself freshly shorn and wearing my t-shirt with Edvard Munch's The Cry on it. My hair is appalling in it so I can't post it. hehe Seriously, though, since I haven't had my hair out this long in several years yet I am still applying the same attitude I had when it was a quarter inch long - wash'n'go. Again, considering I'm washing my hair with bar soap, it's surprisingly soft. And I'm getting readjusted to having to brush it out of my eyes again.
I sold the refrigerator today and now my paltry stash of food is sitting in a cooler. But it's one of those funky ones that plugs into a wall outlet or a car's cigarette lighter.
Oooh! Here's some Whiskeytown!
And now some Neko Case!!
I think I'm going to download some mp3s from Usenet. It humors me how the RIAA goes after 13 year-old girls for using Kazaa yet there's copyrighted stuff in newsgroups galore as well as on the Undernet. And not just music, but movies as well. I downloaded The Matrix Reloaded, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, 28 Days, et al. Plus I found a guy who had that short-lived X-Files spinoff, The Lone Gunmen. And there's lots of software too. Need a copy of AutoCAD 2004 like Stevie did? Rather than pay a couple thousand dollars for it, he just downloaded it. The djinn is out of the bottle and corporate America had better get used to it.
I have snagged a Pete Townshend tune and 1 by Ian Anderson. As I type, a live Ozric Tentacles song is downloading.
I am thinking about a lot of things. I should try to finish my essay on Jethro Tull soon. Having traded a couple notes with a reader as well as looked at some of her photos, I am anxious to take some snaps with my new camera. And I'm also thinking about neo-paganism and how an ex-girlfriend never returned my copy of Drawing Down the Moon - beotch! I'm also thinking about the dark-haired woman so beautiful behind the register at the grocery store. She's no college co-ed and she has some wonderful curves...
I was toying with this camera but I can't get it to focus when the wide-angle lense is mounted. D'oh! I finally shaved today with one of these egregiously cheap disposable razors. It did a crappy job on my jawline and tore apart my poor, sensitive neck. My cheeks, however, are nice'n'smooth. I find this odd considering I've been using cheap little bar soap - the kind you find in hotels. (My dad had boxes of the stuff.) I took a picture of myself freshly shorn and wearing my t-shirt with Edvard Munch's The Cry on it. My hair is appalling in it so I can't post it. hehe Seriously, though, since I haven't had my hair out this long in several years yet I am still applying the same attitude I had when it was a quarter inch long - wash'n'go. Again, considering I'm washing my hair with bar soap, it's surprisingly soft. And I'm getting readjusted to having to brush it out of my eyes again.
I sold the refrigerator today and now my paltry stash of food is sitting in a cooler. But it's one of those funky ones that plugs into a wall outlet or a car's cigarette lighter.
Oooh! Here's some Whiskeytown!
And now some Neko Case!!
I think I'm going to download some mp3s from Usenet. It humors me how the RIAA goes after 13 year-old girls for using Kazaa yet there's copyrighted stuff in newsgroups galore as well as on the Undernet. And not just music, but movies as well. I downloaded The Matrix Reloaded, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, 28 Days, et al. Plus I found a guy who had that short-lived X-Files spinoff, The Lone Gunmen. And there's lots of software too. Need a copy of AutoCAD 2004 like Stevie did? Rather than pay a couple thousand dollars for it, he just downloaded it. The djinn is out of the bottle and corporate America had better get used to it.
I have snagged a Pete Townshend tune and 1 by Ian Anderson. As I type, a live Ozric Tentacles song is downloading.
I am thinking about a lot of things. I should try to finish my essay on Jethro Tull soon. Having traded a couple notes with a reader as well as looked at some of her photos, I am anxious to take some snaps with my new camera. And I'm also thinking about neo-paganism and how an ex-girlfriend never returned my copy of Drawing Down the Moon - beotch! I'm also thinking about the dark-haired woman so beautiful behind the register at the grocery store. She's no college co-ed and she has some wonderful curves...
Another Picture of Home
Pictures of Home
I guess I'm posting these more for myself than anyone but some of you might find them amusing.
26 March, 2004
A Meal Fit For Jehovah
After he gave me the package, I sat it down on the table and turned to get a fork when I realized that there wasn't a utensil in the house except a pocketknife. So I started out with my hands and stripped a bone of its meat and voila! - instant utensil!
The meat was smoked to perfection. It was falling off the bone and, once it got into my mouth, it melted. At first, the flavors seemed simple - not that that's a bad thing - but I let it sit on my palette and I began to taste all the subtlties. The way the smoky flavor of the meat mixed with the sauce which had a nice tang to it. (I love vinegar!) How the hint of chili powder in the sauce was balanced by the tomato flavor. The potato salad was good too. It was of a style I've only had once or twice previously - like mashed potatoes with large chunks. They had added just the right amount of lemon juice to it - you could taste the sourness but only just. Baked beans and a couple slices of white bread rounded it out. The beans were good but nothing special. Two 16oz cans of Natural Light topped it off. I haven't drank that since Pete and I vacationed south of here about 2 years ago. Although it's a cheap, crappy beer, it was cold and really hit the spot.
It was a meal fit for Jehovah.
New Music At Last
I've been listening to some prog Internet radio stations buy they play too much progressive metal for my taste. So I went in search of something different. I found an alt.country station but it wouldn't play. So I updated Windows Media Player and DirectX and it's now crankin' like a charm. First some Son Volt and now Emmylou Harris. She has such a beautiful voice. So tender, so delicate.
Did You Get Your Precious Pictures?
Poking around my dad's computer, I found a cache of photos. Checking out the camera, I found that the memory card had a few pictures on it. The last 3 were taken a couple days before he died and just after he had the rest of his teeth pulled so he's got that goofy, toothless redneck look going on. I transferred the photos to the computer and now I feel like Deckard in Blade Runner with the Esper machine examing them. I was thinking of posting one but it just doesn't feel right at this point. So I took a few of my own.
Here's my to-do list for today.
Here's my to-do list for today.
Every Garbage Bin...
...has a lining.
By mid-morning, I had had enough coffee and was motivated enough to clean. So I pulled the vaccum cleaner out of the closet, attached the rug attachment hoolie, and set out. It took me a little while before I noticed that it wasn't doing squat. Turning it over, I found that the agitator wasn't turning. Belt was intact and the shaft was spinning but it wasn't catching. Fan-bloody-tastic. So I grabbed the next best attachment and vacuumed two of the bedrooms. Done. Setting out to mop the floor, I opened a new thingy of disposable mop pads and gave it a go. No dice. They kept rubbing off. So I look at the directions and find that there are little slits in which to tuck the pad. I do so and try again. Although it took longer, it still slipped off. And so I found myself on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor. When that was done, I took a little coffee break and vacuumed the living room. It was shortly after this that I felt my frist bit of anger towards my father as part of my grieving process. It was triggered when I was scouring his bathtub. The thing was filthy! Having been alone for a couple days, I have started talking to myself and, as I scrubbed, some weird words were uttered from my lips. Something like: "Dad, I hope your keeping your bathroom down there in hell clean cuz I don't wanna have to scrub it." A moment later, I find a hair on the side of the tub and I immediately start thinking Jurassic Dad - I could save the hair and clone a new father. The technology is coming along nicely and we should be able to do so soon. (I dunno if that little bit of skin from the follicle was on it or not.) After my little Crichton-esque episode, I vacuumed a bit more and laid down for a short stretch.
Soon enough, it was time for me to shower as I had a two o'clock appointment with the lawyer. As I was combing my hair, I noticed that I really needed to shave as my face is getting scruffy. I also noticed that I had forgotten my razor. So I stopped and bought some cheapo disposables with which I shall cut up my face later. Also, I stopped at the coffeehouse and got me an iced mocha since it was 82F outside. There was one hottie there - a woman in her mid-to-late 30s but she was preparing to leave when I arrived.
My visit to the lawyer merely involved droping off some paperwork and asking a couple simple questions so I thought it would take 15 minutes, tops. It wasn't until around 4 that I left. However, I was correct in that the actual time we talked business lasted about 15 minutes while the other hour and 45 was spent chatting.
I think we started off with the Civil War. He claimed to have 400 books on the topic and proudly proclaimed that history was his avocation. He talked about various battles and described Antietam meticulously. Exactly which direction how many soldiers came, from what battleground they had marched, etc. The guy knew his Civil War. And I loved how he bandied about the term "Yankee". The Confederacy was comprised of "Southerners" while the Union was made up of "Yankees". At one point, he described how he recently got a new PC and bought a Civil War game. During one battle, his Confederate troops routed Union soldiers and the game announced something like, "The Confederacy has won. The North is brokering a peace deal." He told me that, when he heard the computer spout these sentences, it warmed his heart right up. He next talked about various Southern generals and the Confederate victory at Chacellorsville. I steered the conversation towards Sherman to remind him of what happened to Atlanta and that we Yanks won the war. He conceded this and told me of a particular brigade composed mostly of men from Wisconsin. Since they were a bunch of rednecks who actaully knew how to shoot a gun, the Southerners hated them. (I couldn't help but think of my roommate Pete, a redneck at heart, all decked out in blue.) We then talked about Islam and its relation to the West, various books on why the West is the dominant force in the world today. He referenced Guns, Germs, and Steel while I told him about The Wealth and Poverty of Nations. From there, it was a free-for-all. The Vikings, the Celts, the various ethnic groups in his home state of Missouri, the segregation here in Natchitoches, the influence of Roman Empire, Scotland's role in the Industrial Revolution, Latin, et al. I had a blast. It had been several days since I'd had so much intellectual stimulation. My brother and I have such conversations but we were too busy with the house when he was here. And I think he was pleasantly surprised to find a Yankee kid who knew some history. I could see the surprise on his face when I started naming some lesser-known Civil War battles like Chickamauga Creek. I told him that I had several years of Latin in school and we listed off as many Roman emperors as we could and talked about Julius Caesar as I mentioned that I had read his Gallic Wars in the original language.
His son, daughter-in-law, and grandson then came in and we were all introduced. They didn't stay long but long enough for me to eye-up the duaghter-in-law. She was a gorgeous brunette! (I thought of you, Ms. Happy Life, as she was married to a lawyer. Dunno if he's a heavy drinker or not.) After they left, the conversation about food continued. we both raked on English cuisine with its penchant for organ meats as well as the novelty of bratwurst down here. He gave me directions to a pecan plantation about 20 miles from here where I can get more culinary souvenirs. (The odds of me being able to actually save any chocolate-covered pecans over the course of a 17 hour drive over 2 days are not good, lemme tell ya.) Finally, he talked about his youth including wartime rationing and the various things you could get by sending in cereal box tops. As our conversation wound down, my cell rang but I let it ring through as he was in the middle of telling me about his family getting their first TV.
I left feeling happy to have had such wonderful conversation but also a bit sad as my dad would have loved to shoot the bull with this guy. (My dad reckoned himself an amateur historian.)
Once outside, I looked and found that whoever had called did not leave voice mail. So I just called the number back. I was thrilled to see it was the funeral home. I was highly unthrilled when I found out that someone has mistyped the entry in the field for my dad's highest level of education as this would require this person to retype them and resubmit them to the coroner. He would not get them until Monday and I probably won't get them until Tuesday. So I'm stuck here until Tuesday or Wednesday. While I am desperate to get home, see my friends, and sleep in my own bed (well, any bed at this point), my irritation wore off quickly, though, as I figured there was nothing I could do about it. My father is dead and four more days here is, in the larger scheme of things, not a big deal. So I resigned myself to a few more nights of sleeping on the floor and to try and check out the sights. I do, after all, have a new camera and there are some nice antebellum homes around here. I laughed that bit of bad luck off and drove back to the house.
Shortly after I arrived, there was a knock at the door. Opening it revealed Joe. He was here to get the rest of the stuff from the garage. I have noticed that when he comes to the door, he knocks and then goes back down the stairs to stand on the sidewalk. Must be a Southern thing - not to be right in someone's face as they open their door. Anyway, I helped him load his truck and then we chatted for a bit. I asked him about a good place to get crawfish as well as barbeque. Freddy's Cafe, he assured me, serves the best BBQ I will ever eat. But he warned me that it's in a black neighborhood. (Joe is black.) I jokingly asked if I would get my ass kicked for being white or for being a Yankee. At the end, he said he would bring me some food later tonight and took my order. He then asked what I wanted to drink: "A coke? Beer?"
"Do you want something to drink?" he asked. "A Coke or a beer...?"
Mmmm...beer. My ears pricked up after hearing that magical word. Some barley pop would really hit the spot. And so he left me looking forward to his catering expedition. I'll have me some ribs, potato salad, and bread with a beer which I hope shall be ice cold. If not, I shall make it so (number one).
And that's where I stand. Oh, I also stopped at the coffeehouse on the way back to get some joe and find out their hours. So, the plan is to spend some time there reading as well as going out to the pecan plantation and to see some old homes. I do have a new funkadelic camera so I will try to get it knocked in. Anyone here like the movie Steel Magnolias? It was shot here and I go by "The Steel Magnolia" house when I drive downtown so maybe I'll take some snaps of it. Natchitoches is a pretty town - I just wish I were here under more pleasant circumstances. However much I wish I weren't here alone, I will make do as best I can.
By mid-morning, I had had enough coffee and was motivated enough to clean. So I pulled the vaccum cleaner out of the closet, attached the rug attachment hoolie, and set out. It took me a little while before I noticed that it wasn't doing squat. Turning it over, I found that the agitator wasn't turning. Belt was intact and the shaft was spinning but it wasn't catching. Fan-bloody-tastic. So I grabbed the next best attachment and vacuumed two of the bedrooms. Done. Setting out to mop the floor, I opened a new thingy of disposable mop pads and gave it a go. No dice. They kept rubbing off. So I look at the directions and find that there are little slits in which to tuck the pad. I do so and try again. Although it took longer, it still slipped off. And so I found myself on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor. When that was done, I took a little coffee break and vacuumed the living room. It was shortly after this that I felt my frist bit of anger towards my father as part of my grieving process. It was triggered when I was scouring his bathtub. The thing was filthy! Having been alone for a couple days, I have started talking to myself and, as I scrubbed, some weird words were uttered from my lips. Something like: "Dad, I hope your keeping your bathroom down there in hell clean cuz I don't wanna have to scrub it." A moment later, I find a hair on the side of the tub and I immediately start thinking Jurassic Dad - I could save the hair and clone a new father. The technology is coming along nicely and we should be able to do so soon. (I dunno if that little bit of skin from the follicle was on it or not.) After my little Crichton-esque episode, I vacuumed a bit more and laid down for a short stretch.
Soon enough, it was time for me to shower as I had a two o'clock appointment with the lawyer. As I was combing my hair, I noticed that I really needed to shave as my face is getting scruffy. I also noticed that I had forgotten my razor. So I stopped and bought some cheapo disposables with which I shall cut up my face later. Also, I stopped at the coffeehouse and got me an iced mocha since it was 82F outside. There was one hottie there - a woman in her mid-to-late 30s but she was preparing to leave when I arrived.
My visit to the lawyer merely involved droping off some paperwork and asking a couple simple questions so I thought it would take 15 minutes, tops. It wasn't until around 4 that I left. However, I was correct in that the actual time we talked business lasted about 15 minutes while the other hour and 45 was spent chatting.
I think we started off with the Civil War. He claimed to have 400 books on the topic and proudly proclaimed that history was his avocation. He talked about various battles and described Antietam meticulously. Exactly which direction how many soldiers came, from what battleground they had marched, etc. The guy knew his Civil War. And I loved how he bandied about the term "Yankee". The Confederacy was comprised of "Southerners" while the Union was made up of "Yankees". At one point, he described how he recently got a new PC and bought a Civil War game. During one battle, his Confederate troops routed Union soldiers and the game announced something like, "The Confederacy has won. The North is brokering a peace deal." He told me that, when he heard the computer spout these sentences, it warmed his heart right up. He next talked about various Southern generals and the Confederate victory at Chacellorsville. I steered the conversation towards Sherman to remind him of what happened to Atlanta and that we Yanks won the war. He conceded this and told me of a particular brigade composed mostly of men from Wisconsin. Since they were a bunch of rednecks who actaully knew how to shoot a gun, the Southerners hated them. (I couldn't help but think of my roommate Pete, a redneck at heart, all decked out in blue.) We then talked about Islam and its relation to the West, various books on why the West is the dominant force in the world today. He referenced Guns, Germs, and Steel while I told him about The Wealth and Poverty of Nations. From there, it was a free-for-all. The Vikings, the Celts, the various ethnic groups in his home state of Missouri, the segregation here in Natchitoches, the influence of Roman Empire, Scotland's role in the Industrial Revolution, Latin, et al. I had a blast. It had been several days since I'd had so much intellectual stimulation. My brother and I have such conversations but we were too busy with the house when he was here. And I think he was pleasantly surprised to find a Yankee kid who knew some history. I could see the surprise on his face when I started naming some lesser-known Civil War battles like Chickamauga Creek. I told him that I had several years of Latin in school and we listed off as many Roman emperors as we could and talked about Julius Caesar as I mentioned that I had read his Gallic Wars in the original language.
His son, daughter-in-law, and grandson then came in and we were all introduced. They didn't stay long but long enough for me to eye-up the duaghter-in-law. She was a gorgeous brunette! (I thought of you, Ms. Happy Life, as she was married to a lawyer. Dunno if he's a heavy drinker or not.) After they left, the conversation about food continued. we both raked on English cuisine with its penchant for organ meats as well as the novelty of bratwurst down here. He gave me directions to a pecan plantation about 20 miles from here where I can get more culinary souvenirs. (The odds of me being able to actually save any chocolate-covered pecans over the course of a 17 hour drive over 2 days are not good, lemme tell ya.) Finally, he talked about his youth including wartime rationing and the various things you could get by sending in cereal box tops. As our conversation wound down, my cell rang but I let it ring through as he was in the middle of telling me about his family getting their first TV.
I left feeling happy to have had such wonderful conversation but also a bit sad as my dad would have loved to shoot the bull with this guy. (My dad reckoned himself an amateur historian.)
Once outside, I looked and found that whoever had called did not leave voice mail. So I just called the number back. I was thrilled to see it was the funeral home. I was highly unthrilled when I found out that someone has mistyped the entry in the field for my dad's highest level of education as this would require this person to retype them and resubmit them to the coroner. He would not get them until Monday and I probably won't get them until Tuesday. So I'm stuck here until Tuesday or Wednesday. While I am desperate to get home, see my friends, and sleep in my own bed (well, any bed at this point), my irritation wore off quickly, though, as I figured there was nothing I could do about it. My father is dead and four more days here is, in the larger scheme of things, not a big deal. So I resigned myself to a few more nights of sleeping on the floor and to try and check out the sights. I do, after all, have a new camera and there are some nice antebellum homes around here. I laughed that bit of bad luck off and drove back to the house.
Shortly after I arrived, there was a knock at the door. Opening it revealed Joe. He was here to get the rest of the stuff from the garage. I have noticed that when he comes to the door, he knocks and then goes back down the stairs to stand on the sidewalk. Must be a Southern thing - not to be right in someone's face as they open their door. Anyway, I helped him load his truck and then we chatted for a bit. I asked him about a good place to get crawfish as well as barbeque. Freddy's Cafe, he assured me, serves the best BBQ I will ever eat. But he warned me that it's in a black neighborhood. (Joe is black.) I jokingly asked if I would get my ass kicked for being white or for being a Yankee. At the end, he said he would bring me some food later tonight and took my order. He then asked what I wanted to drink: "A coke? Beer?"
"Do you want something to drink?" he asked. "A Coke or a beer...?"
Mmmm...beer. My ears pricked up after hearing that magical word. Some barley pop would really hit the spot. And so he left me looking forward to his catering expedition. I'll have me some ribs, potato salad, and bread with a beer which I hope shall be ice cold. If not, I shall make it so (number one).
And that's where I stand. Oh, I also stopped at the coffeehouse on the way back to get some joe and find out their hours. So, the plan is to spend some time there reading as well as going out to the pecan plantation and to see some old homes. I do have a new funkadelic camera so I will try to get it knocked in. Anyone here like the movie Steel Magnolias? It was shot here and I go by "The Steel Magnolia" house when I drive downtown so maybe I'll take some snaps of it. Natchitoches is a pretty town - I just wish I were here under more pleasant circumstances. However much I wish I weren't here alone, I will make do as best I can.
The End May Be Nigh
Once again, I awoke at 4:30 this morning. After making coffee, I then drafted a to-do list for the day. It filled up quickly but has since been whittled down to just 2 things and both have left me waiting for people to call me back.
I called the funeral home but they still haven't received the ashes nor have the death certificates been, um, certified. And the moving company has still not called. So I did laundry and did some more cleaning. And Peanut is supposed to stop by soon to snag the freezer and the rest of the tools in the garage. I then need to go drop off some stuff at the lawyer's office and ask him a couple questions. I also drew up a list of things to make sure are done when I'm ready to leave like cancelling utilities, turning off the pump for the sewage treatment unit, and taking the license plaste off of the truck. I've gone over everything 8 million times and made lists. Other than cleaning, there's nothing for me to do at this point. Anything that requires me to go to town will be down in a while so I can do everything at once. I even called the IRS. Holy shit, what an ordeal!! I got lost in their labyrinthine automated phone hoolie. And, if you go to the wrong spot, you're not given the ability to retrace your steps to the previous menu. So I had to call back a couple times.
I don't know that I've ever been so anxious for a phone call.
I called the funeral home but they still haven't received the ashes nor have the death certificates been, um, certified. And the moving company has still not called. So I did laundry and did some more cleaning. And Peanut is supposed to stop by soon to snag the freezer and the rest of the tools in the garage. I then need to go drop off some stuff at the lawyer's office and ask him a couple questions. I also drew up a list of things to make sure are done when I'm ready to leave like cancelling utilities, turning off the pump for the sewage treatment unit, and taking the license plaste off of the truck. I've gone over everything 8 million times and made lists. Other than cleaning, there's nothing for me to do at this point. Anything that requires me to go to town will be down in a while so I can do everything at once. I even called the IRS. Holy shit, what an ordeal!! I got lost in their labyrinthine automated phone hoolie. And, if you go to the wrong spot, you're not given the ability to retrace your steps to the previous menu. So I had to call back a couple times.
I don't know that I've ever been so anxious for a phone call.
25 March, 2004
This Folgers Has Gotta Go
A couple nights ago as my mother, brother, and I were returning from dinner, the cell phone rang. I answered and found that it was my dad's brother. I hadn't spoken to him since my dad's death - only to his wife. Now, I've always gotten along with my uncle well but never had a lot of contact with him. My dad has told me various things about him including that he's gotten a bit weird over the past few years. A bit reclusive, paranoid about his health, and very afraid of death. Still, when we've spoken, I've found him to be the same ol' uncle - friggin' hilarious. He used to make me laugh constantly when I was a kid. When my brother and I were going through my dad's pictures, we found one of my uncle and we agreed that it was the perfect picture of him as it was the pose that he and I both remembered most: standing there with a baseball cap on, his shrit unbuttoned so his guy was hanging out, and a Pabst Blue Ribbon in his hand. Cuhhhhhlassic.
Anyway, he calls and asks how things are going. Then he starts asking about the fate of my dad's ashes. I didn't have them and just assumed that we'd scatter them here in the backyard. My dad was an atheist, my brother is an atheist, I'm an atheist - my dad only ever expressed his wish to be cremated. And, as my uncle and I agreed, he didn't care what happened to his ashes. Or, if he did, he never told anyone. So, since I was being asked, I knew something was up. Well, my uncle wanted the ashes. He's got a plot in which to bury them and will spring for a headstone. In his words, "we can have to visit your dad." It was a bit weird but also very touching. By this summer, I'll have 2 uncles in Florida and a gravesite to visit. It's an odd thought for me to have a gravesite to visit. But I suppose that it will be nice to be able to catch some sun, visit the old man's grave, and see family. And there will, no doubt, also be golfing involved.
I talked to my another uncle yesterday who will be moving to Florida in July. I asked him and his wife to sign an affidavit that the lawyer needs. We chatted for a while and he said that he and his wife would be up by Madison in June as she was going to be in a golf tournament. (Their condo in Florida is on a golf course.) He also told me that some small airline has flights from Milwaukee to Clearwater, where he'll be moving to. So that would make getting down there a breeze.
It is cloudy out today. We'll probably get some rain. I must do some cleaning, get some good coffee, and wait for phone calls. Other than friends, I miss music. I think I'm going to have to get the PC speakers out of the car and reattach them so I can listen to some Internet radio. I received some more bad news yesterday - I didn't get the job I interview for recently. I was told that I again made the short list but was passed over in favor of someone with real estate experience. So, going home will bring back all of my old problems once again. But, if I ever get back to Madison, I can start playing Dungeons & Dragons once more, I can go visit my friends at the coffeehouse, cook up a big batch of jambalaya with some authentic andouille, get a hug, maybe start getting into photography, get a video together with a friend - just have a life again.
And another thing - I am going to have tons of unpacking to do. My car is about 1" (2.42cm) off the ground. I snagged a bunch of tools for my landlord as well as a couple for myself. I got a few Japanese woodcuts that date back to the late 19th century which look really cool. Found the photo album from my parents' wedding too. I'll have a new PC and digital camera. Plus I kept a fair number of pictures, some old slides, and knick-knack stuff - just little items that I remember from my childhood like a tuning pipe. I am also taking back some kitchen items like a big cabbage shredder so I can make sauerkraut, a spaetzle maker, an ice cream maker, et al. I also got some fine crystal and some German bar glasses. One thing I took which I have no idea what I'll do with is an old pitcher and wash basin like those people used to keep by their beds. I guess it could make a nice decoration in the bathroom.
I just talked to my mom. She can take care of a joint credit card and has agreed to sign paperwork renouncing any right to claim anything from my dad's estate. She'll also be sending the lawyer some bills which shall count as a debt against the estate. Right now, what I need are death certificates and for my brother to get his ass to work so I can fax him the moving contract. But that won't be until three o'clock or so.
Well, I can say that I've learned a lot about this whole death thing. My advice to all of you is to make sure your parents have wills and that they give someone power of attorney. Also make sure they keep their house clean. hehe
Anyway, he calls and asks how things are going. Then he starts asking about the fate of my dad's ashes. I didn't have them and just assumed that we'd scatter them here in the backyard. My dad was an atheist, my brother is an atheist, I'm an atheist - my dad only ever expressed his wish to be cremated. And, as my uncle and I agreed, he didn't care what happened to his ashes. Or, if he did, he never told anyone. So, since I was being asked, I knew something was up. Well, my uncle wanted the ashes. He's got a plot in which to bury them and will spring for a headstone. In his words, "we can have to visit your dad." It was a bit weird but also very touching. By this summer, I'll have 2 uncles in Florida and a gravesite to visit. It's an odd thought for me to have a gravesite to visit. But I suppose that it will be nice to be able to catch some sun, visit the old man's grave, and see family. And there will, no doubt, also be golfing involved.
I talked to my another uncle yesterday who will be moving to Florida in July. I asked him and his wife to sign an affidavit that the lawyer needs. We chatted for a while and he said that he and his wife would be up by Madison in June as she was going to be in a golf tournament. (Their condo in Florida is on a golf course.) He also told me that some small airline has flights from Milwaukee to Clearwater, where he'll be moving to. So that would make getting down there a breeze.
It is cloudy out today. We'll probably get some rain. I must do some cleaning, get some good coffee, and wait for phone calls. Other than friends, I miss music. I think I'm going to have to get the PC speakers out of the car and reattach them so I can listen to some Internet radio. I received some more bad news yesterday - I didn't get the job I interview for recently. I was told that I again made the short list but was passed over in favor of someone with real estate experience. So, going home will bring back all of my old problems once again. But, if I ever get back to Madison, I can start playing Dungeons & Dragons once more, I can go visit my friends at the coffeehouse, cook up a big batch of jambalaya with some authentic andouille, get a hug, maybe start getting into photography, get a video together with a friend - just have a life again.
And another thing - I am going to have tons of unpacking to do. My car is about 1" (2.42cm) off the ground. I snagged a bunch of tools for my landlord as well as a couple for myself. I got a few Japanese woodcuts that date back to the late 19th century which look really cool. Found the photo album from my parents' wedding too. I'll have a new PC and digital camera. Plus I kept a fair number of pictures, some old slides, and knick-knack stuff - just little items that I remember from my childhood like a tuning pipe. I am also taking back some kitchen items like a big cabbage shredder so I can make sauerkraut, a spaetzle maker, an ice cream maker, et al. I also got some fine crystal and some German bar glasses. One thing I took which I have no idea what I'll do with is an old pitcher and wash basin like those people used to keep by their beds. I guess it could make a nice decoration in the bathroom.
I just talked to my mom. She can take care of a joint credit card and has agreed to sign paperwork renouncing any right to claim anything from my dad's estate. She'll also be sending the lawyer some bills which shall count as a debt against the estate. Right now, what I need are death certificates and for my brother to get his ass to work so I can fax him the moving contract. But that won't be until three o'clock or so.
Well, I can say that I've learned a lot about this whole death thing. My advice to all of you is to make sure your parents have wills and that they give someone power of attorney. Also make sure they keep their house clean. hehe
23 March, 2004
The Saga Continues
A new day has dawned.
Yesterday was clean-up day. We went through everything in the house and there are now bags and boxes everywhere. Goodwill is sending a truck over in a few hours to grab tons and tons of stuff. Then I'll take the food over to the pantry. My brother and I have divied up the stuff that we're going to keep. Since he works for a transportation company, he thinks he can arrange to have a company truck come here and snag all of the big items. Not that there are many, but enough.
We went to the funeral home yesterday to retrieve the items the old man had on him when he died. We also outlayed $2800. Sheesh! Death is an expensive proposition, lemme tell ya. So, at the moment I'm waiting on his ashes to arrive from the crematorium up in Shreveport and for the death certificate to be issued. Once I have those, I can start cancelling everything, notifying beauracracies, and pay bills. And I'll need to get a dumpster. I hope to be able to leave here on Thursday or Friday but want the house empty, the utilities shut off, and the pipes drained.
We weren't able to find a will so I'm looking at the prospect of a long, arduous trek in probate court. My dad's brother called last night. He kept prodding me about the fate of my dad's ashes so I knew something was up. Well, he wants the ashes and has a plot in which to bury them. On top of this, he said he'd spring for a tombstone so "we could all have a place to visit him". Very oddly but also very touching. When I spoke to my aunt, she said that my dad and uncle talked to each other weekly and had gotten "pretty close". It's a weird prospect to me of having a burial site to go visit in Florida but I suppose I'll get around to going there eventually.
Well, I am off to sort through the stuff in the garage...
Yesterday was clean-up day. We went through everything in the house and there are now bags and boxes everywhere. Goodwill is sending a truck over in a few hours to grab tons and tons of stuff. Then I'll take the food over to the pantry. My brother and I have divied up the stuff that we're going to keep. Since he works for a transportation company, he thinks he can arrange to have a company truck come here and snag all of the big items. Not that there are many, but enough.
We went to the funeral home yesterday to retrieve the items the old man had on him when he died. We also outlayed $2800. Sheesh! Death is an expensive proposition, lemme tell ya. So, at the moment I'm waiting on his ashes to arrive from the crematorium up in Shreveport and for the death certificate to be issued. Once I have those, I can start cancelling everything, notifying beauracracies, and pay bills. And I'll need to get a dumpster. I hope to be able to leave here on Thursday or Friday but want the house empty, the utilities shut off, and the pipes drained.
We weren't able to find a will so I'm looking at the prospect of a long, arduous trek in probate court. My dad's brother called last night. He kept prodding me about the fate of my dad's ashes so I knew something was up. Well, he wants the ashes and has a plot in which to bury them. On top of this, he said he'd spring for a tombstone so "we could all have a place to visit him". Very oddly but also very touching. When I spoke to my aunt, she said that my dad and uncle talked to each other weekly and had gotten "pretty close". It's a weird prospect to me of having a burial site to go visit in Florida but I suppose I'll get around to going there eventually.
Well, I am off to sort through the stuff in the garage...
21 March, 2004
In My New House
I approached Natchitoches from an unfamiliar route. The other times I've driven down here, I've always taken I-49 but, since I took I-55 this time, I took a couple state highways and ended up on the other side of town. But I found my way to College Avenue. Once I did that, I knew how to get to my old man's place. As I turned onto Monroe Road, tears welled in my eyes as memories of moving him down here flooded back to me. All that hope for a new life he had. New house, new people, and no snow. As his house or, rather, my new house, came into view, the tears abated a bit. I parked, grabbed the mail, and went up to the door.
I had left my key at home but my dad has lived in the country since 1987 and hasn't locked his front door since. Walking in, I heard the television blaring. His hearing was going and he watched TV with the volume on 11. It felt just like a visit. I expected him to be sitting at the kitchen table. Instead there was just a History Channel program playing itself to no one. There was shit everywhere. It looked like my dad would poke his head around the corner any second or walk in the door. But I realized that it would never happen and I just started crying.
Taking a break from the water works, I started poking around. His answering machine and cell phone each had 3 messages awaiting. There was a half gallon jug of milk in the sink that he had pulled from the freezer to thaw. It was nothing but chunks now. On the plus side, he left a bag of chocolate chip cookies sitting on the counter. Kinda like he knew I was gonna be there and need a chocolate fix.
I spent a couple hours alternately crying and poking through stuff looking for relevant paperwork. Along the way, I of course found all kinds of stuff - pictures, enough towels for a family of 7, the pistol he kept next to his bed...he had recycled a calendar from 2003 and just wrote this year's dates in with a black marker. There were clothes in the washer so I threw them into the dryer. As I did so, I started crying again with a few tears falling onto his shirts. Considering he filled 2 or 3 dumpsters before he moved here, he sure had a lot of stuff. I figure that the canned and dry goods can be donated to a food pantry. Clothes, kitchen stuff, and beds can be donated to Goodwill or whatever it is they have down here. He didn't have a lot of furniture, thankfully. But he has 3 entertainment centers that are enormous. I remember putting one together last January - a right royal pain in the ass!
I went through some stashes of pictures and found a few from probably the early 70s. I had to laugh out loud at the sideburns my uncles had! They are gonna get shit about them from me next time I talk to them. I also found a picture of myself from 1987 or so and it should be burned along with my father's remains. If he's already been cremated, I will have to burn it myself as no one should be allowed to see it. Ever.
It's getting dark out. My brother and mom will be here in the morning. Since my bro decided he'd rather drive than fly, I just said fuck it and drove down myself. Stuck in a van for 17 hours with my mother is not my idea of fun and I just wanted to be by myself anyway. They couldn't leave til today and I couldn't bear the thought of futzing around another day. I just wanted to get here and start. On top of it, I can take the scenic route home now, if I like since I probably will not have anything resembling a vacation this year. And I've always been one to do most of my grieving alone. So tonight I do that but will have the rest of the week to be with family.
I checked the voice mail. An uncle and an aunt called. Not really ready to talk to them yet. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe just later tonight.
I had left my key at home but my dad has lived in the country since 1987 and hasn't locked his front door since. Walking in, I heard the television blaring. His hearing was going and he watched TV with the volume on 11. It felt just like a visit. I expected him to be sitting at the kitchen table. Instead there was just a History Channel program playing itself to no one. There was shit everywhere. It looked like my dad would poke his head around the corner any second or walk in the door. But I realized that it would never happen and I just started crying.
Taking a break from the water works, I started poking around. His answering machine and cell phone each had 3 messages awaiting. There was a half gallon jug of milk in the sink that he had pulled from the freezer to thaw. It was nothing but chunks now. On the plus side, he left a bag of chocolate chip cookies sitting on the counter. Kinda like he knew I was gonna be there and need a chocolate fix.
I spent a couple hours alternately crying and poking through stuff looking for relevant paperwork. Along the way, I of course found all kinds of stuff - pictures, enough towels for a family of 7, the pistol he kept next to his bed...he had recycled a calendar from 2003 and just wrote this year's dates in with a black marker. There were clothes in the washer so I threw them into the dryer. As I did so, I started crying again with a few tears falling onto his shirts. Considering he filled 2 or 3 dumpsters before he moved here, he sure had a lot of stuff. I figure that the canned and dry goods can be donated to a food pantry. Clothes, kitchen stuff, and beds can be donated to Goodwill or whatever it is they have down here. He didn't have a lot of furniture, thankfully. But he has 3 entertainment centers that are enormous. I remember putting one together last January - a right royal pain in the ass!
I went through some stashes of pictures and found a few from probably the early 70s. I had to laugh out loud at the sideburns my uncles had! They are gonna get shit about them from me next time I talk to them. I also found a picture of myself from 1987 or so and it should be burned along with my father's remains. If he's already been cremated, I will have to burn it myself as no one should be allowed to see it. Ever.
It's getting dark out. My brother and mom will be here in the morning. Since my bro decided he'd rather drive than fly, I just said fuck it and drove down myself. Stuck in a van for 17 hours with my mother is not my idea of fun and I just wanted to be by myself anyway. They couldn't leave til today and I couldn't bear the thought of futzing around another day. I just wanted to get here and start. On top of it, I can take the scenic route home now, if I like since I probably will not have anything resembling a vacation this year. And I've always been one to do most of my grieving alone. So tonight I do that but will have the rest of the week to be with family.
I checked the voice mail. An uncle and an aunt called. Not really ready to talk to them yet. Maybe tomorrow. Or maybe just later tonight.
19 March, 2004
Stickin' It To the Man
CHICAGO (Reuters) - U.S. regulators and Wisconsin are sparring over the state's aggressive efforts to encourage its citizens to buy cheaper pharmaceuticals across the border in Canada, a battle which escalated this week.
Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle, a Democrat, blasted a letter he received late Thursday from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (news - web sites), warning the state that its Web site threatens the public health by advocating citizens to buy illegal drugs.
"All we've done is try to find a vehicle for Wisconsin citizens to get cheaper prescription drugs, and the FDA is turning a deaf ear to the needs of citizens," Marc Marotta, a top aide to Doyle, told Reuters.
Doyle believes 40,000 citizens in Wisconsin have ordered pharmaceuticals through the state's site, which links to three Canadian pharmacies inspected by state advisors.
A growing number of people are buying drugs from Canada, where they can cost up to 70 percent less than in the United States, mostly owing to greater government regulation there.
Federal regulators say the practice is illegal and risky, but cash-strapped states and cities like Wisconsin are increasingly helping individual efforts.
"The drugs that your citizens will purchase from the Canadian pharmacies to which you refer them will clearly be illegal under federal law," the FDA wrote in the letter to Doyle, dated March 18.
The FDA operates under the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (news - web sites), run by former Wisconsin Governor Tommy Thompson.
At least 25 states and 15 localities are looking into buying drugs from Canada as they wrestle with double-digit health inflation.
"It is disappointing that the FDA continues to try to scare people," Doyle said in a statement.
"If the federal government continues to do nothing to help our citizens with the high price of prescription drugs, Wisconsin will continue to act on its own," he said.
Washington, D.C.'s official Web site now links to the Wisconsin site, and Minnesota also set up a similar site recently.
The pharmaceutical industry opposes importation from Canada, and the United States remains the sector's most lucrative market.
Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle, a Democrat, blasted a letter he received late Thursday from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (news - web sites), warning the state that its Web site threatens the public health by advocating citizens to buy illegal drugs.
"All we've done is try to find a vehicle for Wisconsin citizens to get cheaper prescription drugs, and the FDA is turning a deaf ear to the needs of citizens," Marc Marotta, a top aide to Doyle, told Reuters.
Doyle believes 40,000 citizens in Wisconsin have ordered pharmaceuticals through the state's site, which links to three Canadian pharmacies inspected by state advisors.
A growing number of people are buying drugs from Canada, where they can cost up to 70 percent less than in the United States, mostly owing to greater government regulation there.
Federal regulators say the practice is illegal and risky, but cash-strapped states and cities like Wisconsin are increasingly helping individual efforts.
"The drugs that your citizens will purchase from the Canadian pharmacies to which you refer them will clearly be illegal under federal law," the FDA wrote in the letter to Doyle, dated March 18.
The FDA operates under the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (news - web sites), run by former Wisconsin Governor Tommy Thompson.
At least 25 states and 15 localities are looking into buying drugs from Canada as they wrestle with double-digit health inflation.
"It is disappointing that the FDA continues to try to scare people," Doyle said in a statement.
"If the federal government continues to do nothing to help our citizens with the high price of prescription drugs, Wisconsin will continue to act on its own," he said.
Washington, D.C.'s official Web site now links to the Wisconsin site, and Minnesota also set up a similar site recently.
The pharmaceutical industry opposes importation from Canada, and the United States remains the sector's most lucrative market.
18 March, 2004
Your Feeble Light
My dad called me early this afternoon and he was in surprisingly good spiritsconsidering he'd had his remaining teeth pulled and was preparing himself for a 6 week stretch of no teeth at all until his gums healed and dentures could be made. He told me that he'd been having headaches and had not been attending his classes. (Those classes one takes after having been in jail for multiple DWIs in order to get one's drivers license back.) Life was going on as he looked forward to having teeth again.
My mom called a little while ago and told me that my dad died earlier - probably not long after I spoke with him - in only the most ironic of ways. He apparently collapsed in the parking lot of his doctor's office.
There are supposed to be various stages of grief and I guess I'm still in shock. Or denial or whatever that first stage is. So many things run through my mind. I remember when my stepmother was in the hospital about 3 years ago and my dad's brother drove up from Florida. The three of us sat around the kitchen table and I listened as my father and uncle reminisced about their father, a man I never met. There were some humorous tales but mostly stories of what a jerk my grandfather was and how my father never forgave him. The two of them sat there across the small table from one another saying, "Remember when the summers we spent on the farm with the old man? And how he'd hit us when he caught us slacking off?" Now my brother and I can do that. He and I can sit around talking about when our old man got our asses up early in the morning to chop wood or help with some other work around the house. If I ever have kids, they can never know their paternal grandfather.
What would I tell them when they wanna know about their other grandpa? How do you explain to a child that a son loved his father but, at the same time, couldn't stand to be around him for more than an hour? How do you explain to your son or daughter that their daddy spent most of his life trying not to be like his daddy? Well, I suppose if I ever have to cross that bridge, I'll do so when I come to it.
I have this picture in my head of my father next to his pickup truck and falling to the pavement. Was he in pain when he died? What were his last thoughts? Did he see the oft-mentioned tunnel with the light at the end of it? Did his life flash before his eyes? Or just parts of it? Did he know what was happening? Did he think of his sons? Did he think of me?
I have emailed a buncha people, called a couple friends as well as my stepsister. She was the only stepsibling of mine that my dad cared for and kept in contact with when he moved. I remember her walking into my dad's house up north when her mother died. Her eyes were red, her cheeks tear-stained, and she made good use of kleenex. I hadn't talked to her in a while and it was quite nice to do so.
It's a curious feeling to be needing to cry but not knowing why. Does everyone feel this way when a parent dies?
Today is the birthday of a friend and I was preparing to send her some electronic well-wishes when I got the call. Looking back, I feel bad to have told her about it when she was, no doubt, having a couple drinks and toasting another natal anniversary. I should have waited til tomorrow.
So the plan for a day in the near future is to sit around with friends and drink a cocktail named after my father. It is a dreadful blend of cheap-ass vodka (preferably Siberian Ice) and Diet Dr. Pepper. Having been an atheist, my dad will, no doubt, be looking up from below. I wonder if he'll be pissed. I wonder what regrets I'll have, how much guilt I'll feel. He did, in essence, die alone. But he's the one who decided to move far away from his kin. And I suppose he could have been even more alone. Still, these are not excuses for having kept him at an arm's distance. He once told me that he never wanted kids. He died
in a parking lot
his sons over a thousand miles away
alone.
I can hear his voice from earlier today. I can hear him telling me what he was going to do when he got those dentures. Immediately after they were fitted, he was going to go to a Burger King or some such place and eat some solid food. And once they were worn in enough, he was going to eat a nice filet mignon. Such simple plans. Such simple plans that went egregiously awry.
Ye golden lamps of heav'n farewell,
With all your feeble light
Farewell thou ever changing moon,
Pale empress of the night.
And thou refulgent orb of day,
In brighter flames arrayed
My soul which springs beyond thy sphere,
No more demands thy aid.
My mom called a little while ago and told me that my dad died earlier - probably not long after I spoke with him - in only the most ironic of ways. He apparently collapsed in the parking lot of his doctor's office.
There are supposed to be various stages of grief and I guess I'm still in shock. Or denial or whatever that first stage is. So many things run through my mind. I remember when my stepmother was in the hospital about 3 years ago and my dad's brother drove up from Florida. The three of us sat around the kitchen table and I listened as my father and uncle reminisced about their father, a man I never met. There were some humorous tales but mostly stories of what a jerk my grandfather was and how my father never forgave him. The two of them sat there across the small table from one another saying, "Remember when the summers we spent on the farm with the old man? And how he'd hit us when he caught us slacking off?" Now my brother and I can do that. He and I can sit around talking about when our old man got our asses up early in the morning to chop wood or help with some other work around the house. If I ever have kids, they can never know their paternal grandfather.
What would I tell them when they wanna know about their other grandpa? How do you explain to a child that a son loved his father but, at the same time, couldn't stand to be around him for more than an hour? How do you explain to your son or daughter that their daddy spent most of his life trying not to be like his daddy? Well, I suppose if I ever have to cross that bridge, I'll do so when I come to it.
I have this picture in my head of my father next to his pickup truck and falling to the pavement. Was he in pain when he died? What were his last thoughts? Did he see the oft-mentioned tunnel with the light at the end of it? Did his life flash before his eyes? Or just parts of it? Did he know what was happening? Did he think of his sons? Did he think of me?
I have emailed a buncha people, called a couple friends as well as my stepsister. She was the only stepsibling of mine that my dad cared for and kept in contact with when he moved. I remember her walking into my dad's house up north when her mother died. Her eyes were red, her cheeks tear-stained, and she made good use of kleenex. I hadn't talked to her in a while and it was quite nice to do so.
It's a curious feeling to be needing to cry but not knowing why. Does everyone feel this way when a parent dies?
Today is the birthday of a friend and I was preparing to send her some electronic well-wishes when I got the call. Looking back, I feel bad to have told her about it when she was, no doubt, having a couple drinks and toasting another natal anniversary. I should have waited til tomorrow.
So the plan for a day in the near future is to sit around with friends and drink a cocktail named after my father. It is a dreadful blend of cheap-ass vodka (preferably Siberian Ice) and Diet Dr. Pepper. Having been an atheist, my dad will, no doubt, be looking up from below. I wonder if he'll be pissed. I wonder what regrets I'll have, how much guilt I'll feel. He did, in essence, die alone. But he's the one who decided to move far away from his kin. And I suppose he could have been even more alone. Still, these are not excuses for having kept him at an arm's distance. He once told me that he never wanted kids. He died
in a parking lot
his sons over a thousand miles away
alone.
I can hear his voice from earlier today. I can hear him telling me what he was going to do when he got those dentures. Immediately after they were fitted, he was going to go to a Burger King or some such place and eat some solid food. And once they were worn in enough, he was going to eat a nice filet mignon. Such simple plans. Such simple plans that went egregiously awry.
With all your feeble light
Farewell thou ever changing moon,
Pale empress of the night.
And thou refulgent orb of day,
In brighter flames arrayed
My soul which springs beyond thy sphere,
No more demands thy aid.
Culture Police Ahead
Courtesy of the AP:
NEW YORK - Fountains of Wayne are the latest victims of MTV's super-sensitivity following the infamous Super Bowl halftime show.
Fountains of Wayne made a video for the song "Mexican Wine" that originally showed twin ten-year-old girls jumping up and down saying they were going to perform "'Mexican Wine' by Fountains of Wayne!"
The new version doesn't have the girls saying that, and while they do lip-synch the song, at no point does it show them lip-synching the words "Mexican Wine." A source tells the New York Post that MTV wouldn't show the video because the girls were saying the word "wine."
An MTV representative says they did ask Fountains of Wayne to make some edits, but didn't say in what way. Fountains of Wayne was unavailable for immediate comment.
Two girls saying the word "wine" is now verboten. What the fuck?
NEW YORK - Fountains of Wayne are the latest victims of MTV's super-sensitivity following the infamous Super Bowl halftime show.
Fountains of Wayne made a video for the song "Mexican Wine" that originally showed twin ten-year-old girls jumping up and down saying they were going to perform "'Mexican Wine' by Fountains of Wayne!"
The new version doesn't have the girls saying that, and while they do lip-synch the song, at no point does it show them lip-synching the words "Mexican Wine." A source tells the New York Post that MTV wouldn't show the video because the girls were saying the word "wine."
An MTV representative says they did ask Fountains of Wayne to make some edits, but didn't say in what way. Fountains of Wayne was unavailable for immediate comment.
Two girls saying the word "wine" is now verboten. What the fuck?
A Dreary Day
The job interview went fair to partly cloudy in my estimation. The job sounds like it has it's interesting bits but would be more stupid crap. And the pay isn't great but I'd definitely take it. I was told that I'd know tomorrow.
The commercial is being shot as I type. Luckily, I am awaiting a phone call from a customer to go out to that leather furniture store again this afternoon. So, not only do I get to avoid being on TV, but I also get to earn some cashola.
The snow has stopped and now it's just overcast and awful-looking outside. In theory, I am to head out to Edgerton for a thirsty Thursday. Honestly, I'm not really keen on getting drunk. We'll see how it goes this afternoon.
At one of my email accounts today, I received 3 separate messages asking how my love muscle was doing. "Better, thanks."
The commercial is being shot as I type. Luckily, I am awaiting a phone call from a customer to go out to that leather furniture store again this afternoon. So, not only do I get to avoid being on TV, but I also get to earn some cashola.
The snow has stopped and now it's just overcast and awful-looking outside. In theory, I am to head out to Edgerton for a thirsty Thursday. Honestly, I'm not really keen on getting drunk. We'll see how it goes this afternoon.
At one of my email accounts today, I received 3 separate messages asking how my love muscle was doing. "Better, thanks."
17 March, 2004
Cure For Pain
The latest additions to my stash are a Miles Davis Quintet show from Rome in October of 1969 and a fucking incredible copy of a Peter Gabriel show from July 10, 1993. "Shaking the Tree" has a fairly different feel here than the version on Secret World Live. Much to my chagrin, this excellent soundboard recording was from the 10th and not the 11th which was when I saw him on that tour. This Miles performance sounds really good - I'm listening to "Bitches Brew" now and he would go on to really change things by the time he decided to record it as it is totally lacking any fusion flavor at all.
Fuck! The bits I have of this Rage Against the Machine show are fucking killer! "People of the Sun" is bloody hyper! I've also snagged about half of an Uncle Tupelo show from 1992. "Punch Drunk" is really cool here. And a Morphine concert from 1998 is nearly finished downloading. Only another 13 megs! And this Flatt & Scruggs boot from 1950 is killer! "Foggy Mountain Chimes" is a rockin' - like Dokken! OH mama! This Morphine gig sounds awesome so far!
"We used to meet every Thursday, Thursday, Thursday in the afternoon..."
Fuck! The bits I have of this Rage Against the Machine show are fucking killer! "People of the Sun" is bloody hyper! I've also snagged about half of an Uncle Tupelo show from 1992. "Punch Drunk" is really cool here. And a Morphine concert from 1998 is nearly finished downloading. Only another 13 megs! And this Flatt & Scruggs boot from 1950 is killer! "Foggy Mountain Chimes" is a rockin' - like Dokken! OH mama! This Morphine gig sounds awesome so far!
Last Gasp of Winter?
It's snowing again after a lengthy stretch of fairly warm and dry weather. I don't really mind as it looks very pretty outside. The white looks a lot better than the dull, drab browns and grays that have predominated the past couple weeks.
I spent some time last night checking out the links that were given to me regarding women's studies, gender, and the like. Some interesting stuff and some very depressing stuff. Most of what I found, though, had very little to do with gender and more to do with documenting how men abuse women as well as pages and pages that were nothing but lists of more links. So more reading is required.
Today I get to wear my new boxers that feature Mr. Bubble. I will have to go enjoy the snow a bit.
I spent some time last night checking out the links that were given to me regarding women's studies, gender, and the like. Some interesting stuff and some very depressing stuff. Most of what I found, though, had very little to do with gender and more to do with documenting how men abuse women as well as pages and pages that were nothing but lists of more links. So more reading is required.
Today I get to wear my new boxers that feature Mr. Bubble. I will have to go enjoy the snow a bit.
16 March, 2004
Here Comes Skippy Again
Not a blatantly exciting day. I did manage to do some more work on my short story. I've rehoolied "The Siren's Wail" quite a bit. It's really rough and too light-hearted at this point but the rest will flow - eventually. At this point, it's about the Afterlife company that takes souls from Earth and sends them onto their final destinations. Their system gets hacked and a soul is stolen which prompts an investigation. We'll see how it turns out.
Had another meeting this evening. All of my business partners were there and the sales rep from the TV station. Aside from her lying and thinking me ugly, I want nothing to do with it because I just don't like the TV station. It's all dumbed-down, lowest common denominator shit. I won't watch it and I'd rather not support it. In fact, I'd just assume they go off the air instead of promoting their mindless pap. And she seems to fit right in with it. They way she dresses, the way she talks - this whole yuppie, trendy, fake bullshit. I just don't want any part of it. I'll go fix the computers and whatnot but leave me out of having to deal with those people. Still, I was pleasant and got her to laugh a couple times. But, if I never have to deal with her again, it will be too soon.
My downloading activities have been at the same time frustrating and fulfilling. Frustrating in that there are certain times of the day when my connections to the hubs are constantly disconnecting. However, when the connections are stable, I am able to snag some pukka stuff. Right now, my precious Marillion show from 17 July 1983 is streaming onto the hard drive. Once I get this, I'll burn a copy for Moose and see what morsel I can glean from his collection. As for the newest additions to my collection, we have:
Genesis - 72-01-16
Doc Watson - 1969-08-22
Gentle Giant - 1875-11-12
Genesis - 1977-05-21
Jethro Tull - 1987-11-25
Genesis - 1986-09-30
Doc Watson - 1971
Genesis - 1978-06-03
Jethro Tull - 1977-01-14
Yes - 2002-07-29
That Rage Against the Machine show is nearly done but, with disconnets, will still be a while. I am also trying to get a Flatt & Scruggs gig from 1950. My connection to the guy who has it is swift but is currently suffering from disconnects. I find it odd that most of the people at the bluegrass hub don't have much, if any bluegrass. It's a lot of people with a lot of Grateful Dead and Phish. Sorry, but they're not bluegrass. Not even close. I like the Dead and Phish but I'm looking for the bluegrass, not jam bands. And some people have just tons of String Cheese Incident and Leftover Salmon. Closer, perhaps, but not my cuppa tea. There used to be so much more of the real deal here. I wonder what happened.
Got a call from a recruiter today. I've spoken with him before and he gave me the usual line. More jobs coming in. No details and no time frame. Who knows. Someone asked me about my plans for the weekend today but I cannot recall who or what they wanted to do. And Miss Rosie is back from Vegas. She and I'll have to get together for cocktails soon.
Well, I guess life can't be all bad when you've got a bluegrass version of Iggy Pop's "Lust For Life" playing.
13 March, 2004
I'm In!
So I copied some shows to the hard drive, downloaded the newest DC client and I'm currently connected to the Genesis and bluegreass hubs. Right now I've got a few shows downloading:
Gentle Giant - 12 November 1975
Rage Against the Machine 1 October 1996
Doc Watson 1971
Cued up are another Doc show from 1969 and a Genesis show (soundboard!) from 1986. And I'm waiting for the details on a Morphine show from 1 June 1994. I really need to make an updated list of all the releases of the Genesis remaster groups so I can readily find what I need. Well, want, really. And so, once that RATM show finishes, I'll have to crank up "Bulls On Parade" really, really loudly.
Gentle Giant - 12 November 1975
Rage Against the Machine 1 October 1996
Doc Watson 1971
Cued up are another Doc show from 1969 and a Genesis show (soundboard!) from 1986. And I'm waiting for the details on a Morphine show from 1 June 1994. I really need to make an updated list of all the releases of the Genesis remaster groups so I can readily find what I need. Well, want, really. And so, once that RATM show finishes, I'll have to crank up "Bulls On Parade" really, really loudly.
Not Just a Voice In the Crowd
Here's a sampling of the emails I received recently:
Secrets of Z00fils revealed! New ph0t0s. Humans fakking @n1m@ls. Stallions penet...
Increase Your Penis Width (Girth) By 20%
self-conscious about your love muscle size? bsiizbxbct
Let this give you the extra boost in bed! tj
Advert: - Increased bone density..
Busty Girls With Round Asses Fucking And Sucking Cocks ! ficxo kb cyjjqntz
Are you uncomfortable with the s1ze of your pen1s? gmitiv
self-conscious about your pen1s size? g dddmm
We have helped men all over the world q c zs
Home loans & refinancing at very low rates
RE:The penÃs enlargement pill lto xiiylswk yzqj
How is your male member doing? dxpsq
Review Websites For CA$H
Are you insecure about your c0cK size? hqoabe xdq cuwhevny
improve your sex life and self image! eaoupkenwhga
RE:You will add inches with this amazing pill cpyfofh xdw
Lenders want to offer you a mortgage
all men, please read this important information wyqe gaq u hfusze h
enhance the length and width of your willy! mxebevo hovfpk
Are you insecure about your c0cK size? mjpxtrcjc dmz
Looking for help with your life?v k x
extend the s1ze of that special organ every man has! nj kqpcvhxiwr
This email is for Men! jme xyqpyypl cs
Let this give you the extra boost in bed!
80% Less for Vl@GRA! 2.75$ d
I got up arond 6 this morning, came downstairs, and brewed some java. Turning on the TV, I switched over to C-SPAN and watched their Washington Journal or whatever it's called. A moderator reads articles from various newspapers and viewers call in to comment. I was pleased to see that the head of the Godless Americans PAC was on for half an hour. A few atheists called and remarked that they were grateful for their actions but it seemed like most callers were Xtians who spouted their bullshit pieties. One guy said that God was in the Constitution so thusly the PAC was full of shit. I remarked to a roommate who was by then awake and sitting by me that God does not appear in the Constitution. He didn't believe me and told me to get my copy of the it out for inspection. Lo and behold it wasn't. And there was the typical "eveything was better before prayer was removed from schools" line of faeces. Why is it that everything was better before I was born? And how long have people been saying that?
On the radio this morning I heard a piece about Kitty Genovese. Ms. Genovese lived in New York and in 1964 was brutally assaulted for 35 minutes before she finally died. Her pleas for help were heard by 38 people according to police but no one lifted a finger - even to call the police. I had, of course, heard of this tragedy and I think it inspired the notion for women, when being assaulted, to yell "Fire!" instead of crying for help. But one thing I didn't know about Kitty Genovese was that she was a lesbian. Now, as far as I know, the killer was (is) just a sick fucker who liked to kill and killed women because they put up less of a fight. But could some of the neighbors seen it was Genovese being assaulted and just decided that she was getting what they felt she deserved? I don't know and doubt we'll ever know.
As I laid in my bed reading last night, I thought about my consciousness. Specifically, I thought about that voice inside my head that illuminated the words which my eyes were gazing upon. In a moment of self-reflexivity, I had a conversation with myself.
"So I have this voice inside my head. The voice - my consciousness - doesn't sound like the voice with which I speak."
"Well, duh! Of course I don't. It was formed long before your speaking voice started sounding like it does."
"So do you sound like my voice did as a young boy?"
"I don't think so, no. I think I sound totally different."
"Well, where did you come from? What were you like before I had acquired a language?"
"I don't remember what I was like back then..."
You can see my conundrum. When I daydream, when I am sitting in a chair staring off into space and I envision me talking to a beautiful woman or that I'm being interviewed by someone on BookTV because my novel has revolutionized contemporary literature, the voice in my daydream isn't my speaking voice, it's the voice of my consciousness. Does a woman's consciousness sound like "feminine"? If so, why? When we think to ourselves, we think with words, right? How do we think before we know any words? Where does that voice in our heads come from? Where does language fit into our consciousnesses?
Getting away from matters cognitive, I have to say that The Bell is getting good. The introductory character exposition is over and the story has begun proper.
Well, I've got a Bill Monroe show playing now (19 September 1954) and I'm gonna work on Severus...
Increase Your Penis Width (Girth) By 20%
self-conscious about your love muscle size? bsiizbxbct
Let this give you the extra boost in bed! tj
Advert: - Increased bone density..
Busty Girls With Round Asses Fucking And Sucking Cocks ! ficxo kb cyjjqntz
Are you uncomfortable with the s1ze of your pen1s? gmitiv
self-conscious about your pen1s size? g dddmm
We have helped men all over the world q c zs
Home loans & refinancing at very low rates
RE:The penÃs enlargement pill lto xiiylswk yzqj
How is your male member doing? dxpsq
Review Websites For CA$H
Are you insecure about your c0cK size? hqoabe xdq cuwhevny
improve your sex life and self image! eaoupkenwhga
RE:You will add inches with this amazing pill cpyfofh xdw
Lenders want to offer you a mortgage
all men, please read this important information wyqe gaq u hfusze h
enhance the length and width of your willy! mxebevo hovfpk
Are you insecure about your c0cK size? mjpxtrcjc dmz
Looking for help with your life?v k x
extend the s1ze of that special organ every man has! nj kqpcvhxiwr
This email is for Men! jme xyqpyypl cs
Let this give you the extra boost in bed!
80% Less for Vl@GRA! 2.75$ d
On the radio this morning I heard a piece about Kitty Genovese. Ms. Genovese lived in New York and in 1964 was brutally assaulted for 35 minutes before she finally died. Her pleas for help were heard by 38 people according to police but no one lifted a finger - even to call the police. I had, of course, heard of this tragedy and I think it inspired the notion for women, when being assaulted, to yell "Fire!" instead of crying for help. But one thing I didn't know about Kitty Genovese was that she was a lesbian. Now, as far as I know, the killer was (is) just a sick fucker who liked to kill and killed women because they put up less of a fight. But could some of the neighbors seen it was Genovese being assaulted and just decided that she was getting what they felt she deserved? I don't know and doubt we'll ever know.
As I laid in my bed reading last night, I thought about my consciousness. Specifically, I thought about that voice inside my head that illuminated the words which my eyes were gazing upon. In a moment of self-reflexivity, I had a conversation with myself.
"So I have this voice inside my head. The voice - my consciousness - doesn't sound like the voice with which I speak."
"Well, duh! Of course I don't. It was formed long before your speaking voice started sounding like it does."
"So do you sound like my voice did as a young boy?"
"I don't think so, no. I think I sound totally different."
"Well, where did you come from? What were you like before I had acquired a language?"
"I don't remember what I was like back then..."
You can see my conundrum. When I daydream, when I am sitting in a chair staring off into space and I envision me talking to a beautiful woman or that I'm being interviewed by someone on BookTV because my novel has revolutionized contemporary literature, the voice in my daydream isn't my speaking voice, it's the voice of my consciousness. Does a woman's consciousness sound like "feminine"? If so, why? When we think to ourselves, we think with words, right? How do we think before we know any words? Where does that voice in our heads come from? Where does language fit into our consciousnesses?
Getting away from matters cognitive, I have to say that The Bell is getting good. The introductory character exposition is over and the story has begun proper.
Well, I've got a Bill Monroe show playing now (19 September 1954) and I'm gonna work on Severus...
10 March, 2004
I Found Smog At the End of My Rainbow
It's a nice mellow night. I've polished off a bottle of tonic as well as the OJ. As I type, the Dr. Who episode "Silver Nemesis" downloads. I scanned Usenet for some interesting audio theater but didn't find any. My library of E-Books is looking alright. Having watched Minority Report recently, I downloaded the PKD short story. And I also found "Roadside Picnic", the story upon which Andrei Tarkovsky's Stalker was based. To my knowledge, the story is not currently in print, at least not here in the U.S.
Newsgroups are so wonderful. Books, audiobooks, TV shows, music, and tons of free porn. I've never understood why anyone would actually pay for porn on the Net when it's all there on Usenet for free. And the RIAA goes apeshit about P2P but there's tons of music still out there on various newsgroups.
My Marillion concert video nears an end. I think I'll go read some Iris Murdoch in bed. I feel strangely at ease in my discomfort. Things sorta kinda seem to be getting better. But I've been down this path before. Underneath that veneer of spring-like hope of better days nothing has really changed.
"Why can't we stay closed up inside ourselves? Why do we chase after expression and form, trying to deliver ourselves of our precious contents or 'meanings,' desperately attempting to organize what is after all a rebellious and chaotic process? Wouldn't it be more creative simply to surrender to our inner fluidity without any intention of objectifying it, intimately and voluptuously soaking in our own inner turmoil and struggle?"
I keep waiting for that day when it happens and I can write my first interesting entry in a while. Almost a year of bad luck, incompetence, and failure. You'd think all this negativity would get bored and move on to someone else.
Newsgroups are so wonderful. Books, audiobooks, TV shows, music, and tons of free porn. I've never understood why anyone would actually pay for porn on the Net when it's all there on Usenet for free. And the RIAA goes apeshit about P2P but there's tons of music still out there on various newsgroups.
My Marillion concert video nears an end. I think I'll go read some Iris Murdoch in bed. I feel strangely at ease in my discomfort. Things sorta kinda seem to be getting better. But I've been down this path before. Underneath that veneer of spring-like hope of better days nothing has really changed.
I keep waiting for that day when it happens and I can write my first interesting entry in a while. Almost a year of bad luck, incompetence, and failure. You'd think all this negativity would get bored and move on to someone else.
A Passionate Entry
Contrary to the feeling of my doubting-Thomas reader, I did get to see The Passion of the Christ this afternoon. I thought it was a good movie and not nearly as "violent" as my mind pictured it with all the reviews and comments I've heard and read. The cinematography was excellent as was the sound and I can see Academy Awards for these. As a story, it seemed more like a 3rd act than self-contained. But that was its intention - to graphically display the suffering of the Christ. It was an intense experience with the wonderful surround sound and a 3-story tall battered and bruised face before me. And I think that's what makes it good - the visceral thrill. The scourging scene was agonizing and the nail being driven through the hand was disturbing. The thing I enjoyed the most, however, was the Latin! When the Roman guards first spoke it, I nearly creamed my jeans. It was so fucking awesome to hear my favorite (dead) language being spoken on the big screen! And, if any more evidence is needed to prove I'm a geek, I not only understood about half of the Latin as it was spoken but I also found a couple spots where the subtitles were wrong. Little did I know as a 9 year-old starting out with Latin that I'd be watching it on the big screen. Fucking brilliant!
Now, was it anti-Semitic? I didn't see Voight's connection between it and Nazi propaganda films generally. I did see it as having something in common with Triumph of the Will, namely, an attempt at a gesamtkunstwerk. The imagery and the music all focusing the viewer's emotions into an intense gestalt. The film portrays the Jewish leaders as fiercely intent on seeing Jesus' demise. So what? Christ was a rabble rouser in his time - that's how power structures react to such people. I don't think that, just because the structure is comprised of Jews, that it's anti-Semitic.
One thing that humored me was me. During certain scenes, my mind kept flashing to various parts of Monty Python's Life of Brian.
Coordinator: Crucifixion?
Stan: Yes.
Next prisoner.
Stan: Er, no, freedom actually.
Coordinator: What?
Stan: Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere.
Coordinator: Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then.
Stan: No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really.
laughing
Stan: Yes I know, out of the door, one cross each, line on the left.
Now, was it anti-Semitic? I didn't see Voight's connection between it and Nazi propaganda films generally. I did see it as having something in common with Triumph of the Will, namely, an attempt at a gesamtkunstwerk. The imagery and the music all focusing the viewer's emotions into an intense gestalt. The film portrays the Jewish leaders as fiercely intent on seeing Jesus' demise. So what? Christ was a rabble rouser in his time - that's how power structures react to such people. I don't think that, just because the structure is comprised of Jews, that it's anti-Semitic.
One thing that humored me was me. During certain scenes, my mind kept flashing to various parts of Monty Python's Life of Brian.
Coordinator: Crucifixion?
Stan: Yes.
Next prisoner.
Stan: Er, no, freedom actually.
Coordinator: What?
Stan: Yeah, they said I hadn't done anything and I could go and live on an island somewhere.
Coordinator: Oh I say, that's very nice. Well, off you go then.
Stan: No, I'm just pulling your leg, it's crucifixion really.
laughing
Stan: Yes I know, out of the door, one cross each, line on the left.
The Horror...The Horror
I am running out of coffee!! *Marlon Brando whisper* The horror...the horror...
The Electrons Are Flowing Again
We had a wee power outage today. The SBC folks working down the street must have done something. I noticed that the traffic lights were dead too. It kind of felt like I was in the opening episode of Connections. So what did I do sans electricity? I got my camera running and took some pics. Around noon, I'll be off to the library to get The Bell and then to get my pictures. I'm going to try and make a 1:30 show of The Passion of Christ.
I cleaned my room up a bit today and did some dusting. A window is open bringing in fresh air from the retaining pond out back. I also bought a paper and found out that some nutcase went into a daycare center and held some kids and teacher hostage briefly before the police unloaded into his chest with their pistols. Those poor kids! A clutch of them were in the room to witness his grisly death. No details have been released about the guy but he's a white guy, no doubt.
Must set clocks and continue laundry.
I cleaned my room up a bit today and did some dusting. A window is open bringing in fresh air from the retaining pond out back. I also bought a paper and found out that some nutcase went into a daycare center and held some kids and teacher hostage briefly before the police unloaded into his chest with their pistols. Those poor kids! A clutch of them were in the room to witness his grisly death. No details have been released about the guy but he's a white guy, no doubt.
Must set clocks and continue laundry.
The Sun Is Up, The Sky Is Blue
I've been drinking some coffee and watching C-SPAN. Also looking for a laptop battery online for The Pollack. My Iris Murdoch book is awaiting my retrieval at the library so I'll head over there later. Also, I shall try to see The Passion of the Christ today.
Perhaps now that my camera has a nice empty flashcard, I can go take some pictures. And I do have some film that needs developing so I should go drop that off. Plus I must research DVD drives for a customer. And more email...
Perhaps now that my camera has a nice empty flashcard, I can go take some pictures. And I do have some film that needs developing so I should go drop that off. Plus I must research DVD drives for a customer. And more email...
09 March, 2004
Rehydrating Myself
Classic! Representative Rahm Emanuel from Chicago, IL is going off on a rant against Dubya. And he's making fun of Chicago aldermen to boot. Good humor. Vitafelice, I don't know if you follow Chicago politics at all, but it can be hilarious. At least you're experiencing a Daley in action. Welcome to The Machine! It's seems like John F. Kennedy got elected, in part, because of The Machine down there rigging ballot boxes and I'll bet my bottom dollar that Kerry (or whomever gets the nod from the Dems) is gonna have Daley doing the same thing this fall just like his old man did for JFK.
I am rehydrating myself with a pint of OJ & tonic.
Ye gods! I put on PBS and there's a clip featuring Karen Carpenter from 1968 and they're massacring "Dancing in the Street" by Martha and the Vandellas. Why do white people have such a hard time doing R&B covers with some balls? We tend to emasculate such songs completely. Oh Christ! Now they're destroying "Ticket to Ride". How terrible! Such saccharine-sweet, anodyne crap.
More hoopla on The Passion of the Christ! OK, I will attempt to see it again tomorrow. Now Jon Voight is commenting on it in a very negative way. I want to go on a rant but will pass tonight and wait until I see it for myself.
I am rehydrating myself with a pint of OJ & tonic.
Ye gods! I put on PBS and there's a clip featuring Karen Carpenter from 1968 and they're massacring "Dancing in the Street" by Martha and the Vandellas. Why do white people have such a hard time doing R&B covers with some balls? We tend to emasculate such songs completely. Oh Christ! Now they're destroying "Ticket to Ride". How terrible! Such saccharine-sweet, anodyne crap.
More hoopla on The Passion of the Christ! OK, I will attempt to see it again tomorrow. Now Jon Voight is commenting on it in a very negative way. I want to go on a rant but will pass tonight and wait until I see it for myself.
Looking Forward to Summer
Ah...I can't wait for summer so I can lie down in the Pine River again and let the water wash over me in between cocktails.
My Buddy
Here's another photo. It's of a friend's dog, Buddy. He's a black lab/dalmation mix. You can see the gray on his face - he's nearly 13. My favorite hound! It was taken last summer during a camping trip up north on the Pine River.
Girls Coming Out of the Broom Closet
I found this:
The "Harry Potter" toy broomstick from Mattel has a vibrating feature that has proven to be popular with teenage girls. The "Nimbus 2000" is a plastic battery-powered replica of the broom used in Quidditch matches by J.K. Rowling's boy wizard in "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." The $19.99 toy features a "grooved stick and handle for easy riding," according to Toysrus.com, and, "enhancing the excitement are the vibrating effects."
The Web site's review section is full of comments from parents who are amazed at the toy's popularity with their young daughters. One mom who bought the broom for her son writes that his sister frequently "fights him over it" and complains that "the batteries drain too fast."
Another notes, "When my 12-year-old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to love it." An equally enthusiastic parent marvels that "When my 12 year old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it too! They play for hours in her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too! I recommend this for all children."
One astute New Jersey mom says of her daughter: "It wasn't until after she opened her gift and started playing with it that I realized the toy may offer a more than sensational experience. The broomstick has cute sound effects and vibrates... what were the creators of this toy thinking? She'll keep playing with the Nimbus 2000, but with the batteries removed..
Kids have all the fun toys these days.
The "Harry Potter" toy broomstick from Mattel has a vibrating feature that has proven to be popular with teenage girls. The "Nimbus 2000" is a plastic battery-powered replica of the broom used in Quidditch matches by J.K. Rowling's boy wizard in "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." The $19.99 toy features a "grooved stick and handle for easy riding," according to Toysrus.com, and, "enhancing the excitement are the vibrating effects."
The Web site's review section is full of comments from parents who are amazed at the toy's popularity with their young daughters. One mom who bought the broom for her son writes that his sister frequently "fights him over it" and complains that "the batteries drain too fast."
Another notes, "When my 12-year-old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to love it." An equally enthusiastic parent marvels that "When my 12 year old daughter asked for this for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it too! They play for hours in her bedroom with this great toy. They really seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too! I recommend this for all children."
One astute New Jersey mom says of her daughter: "It wasn't until after she opened her gift and started playing with it that I realized the toy may offer a more than sensational experience. The broomstick has cute sound effects and vibrates... what were the creators of this toy thinking? She'll keep playing with the Nimbus 2000, but with the batteries removed..
Kids have all the fun toys these days.
08 March, 2004
Midday Report
Today has been mildly productive. I have applied for five jobs and set up an appointment to talk to a rep from a TV station here in town. They want someone to sponsor a segment on their local news shot once a week and have somone come on to explain software and various gadgets. So, in theory, I could be on TV giving everyone the skinny on stuff. Then I could start my own fan club! I also got to see Raj today which was cool as I hadn't seen him in a while. In addition, I finally got in touch with my editor and will have new stuff to review soon.
Instead of going to the cinema, I watched Iris here at home. Cheaper, doncha know. It's about English philosopher/author Iris Murdoch and her relationship with her husband. It had a very sad side as she was afflicted with Alzheimer's Disease. But it was also very tender. Lots of great acting. Tears welled in my eyes during the scene when her bubby yelled at her while they were in bed together - very potent stuff. I do wish they had developed their relationship a bit more prior to the Alzheimer's making itself known - so I could get a better feel for all that she was losing, if that makes any sense. As I watched it, I saw parts of myself in her husband, John Bayley. More often, though, I thought to myself, "That's the kinda woman I want in my life!" Again, actually, as I did date a woman a bit like Iris Murdoch a couple years ago. She was more doctor/biologist than philosopher/writer but had that sassy, lustful attitude towards life about her. And she made me laugh seemingly all the time. Well, enough stupid reminiscing...
Next, I'm gonna watch Henry Fool. Hopefully. I feel like crap. Physically OK, but mentally I'm having a hard time keeping a train of thought going and, in general, paying attention to much.
Instead of going to the cinema, I watched Iris here at home. Cheaper, doncha know. It's about English philosopher/author Iris Murdoch and her relationship with her husband. It had a very sad side as she was afflicted with Alzheimer's Disease. But it was also very tender. Lots of great acting. Tears welled in my eyes during the scene when her bubby yelled at her while they were in bed together - very potent stuff. I do wish they had developed their relationship a bit more prior to the Alzheimer's making itself known - so I could get a better feel for all that she was losing, if that makes any sense. As I watched it, I saw parts of myself in her husband, John Bayley. More often, though, I thought to myself, "That's the kinda woman I want in my life!" Again, actually, as I did date a woman a bit like Iris Murdoch a couple years ago. She was more doctor/biologist than philosopher/writer but had that sassy, lustful attitude towards life about her. And she made me laugh seemingly all the time. Well, enough stupid reminiscing...
Next, I'm gonna watch Henry Fool. Hopefully. I feel like crap. Physically OK, but mentally I'm having a hard time keeping a train of thought going and, in general, paying attention to much.
07 March, 2004
sans Passion
I swear to Christ, I went to the theater to see The Passion of the Christ but it was sold out. So I'll try again tomorrow for a matinee.
However, this afternoon I had a little chat with Jolene and she'll be lending me another book. I think I let on a little too much of my geekiness. Ah well, at least I'm being honest.
I rented a couple vids for the evening: Iris and Henry Fool. Back to finding out how the U.S.S. Arizona died such a quick death...
However, this afternoon I had a little chat with Jolene and she'll be lending me another book. I think I let on a little too much of my geekiness. Ah well, at least I'm being honest.
I rented a couple vids for the evening: Iris and Henry Fool. Back to finding out how the U.S.S. Arizona died such a quick death...
Yesterday Seems So Far Away
As I sit here, I have a nice cuppa joe, have read the only interesting part of our local paper (the arts & entertainment section), and am watching BookTV.
Yesterday I read two books: The Godless Constitution and Little Birds. The former was a polemic that explored the wall of separation between church and state in the country and ranted against the Xtian right. It was exceedingly interesting. Not only did I learn quite a bit but I also just love tales about Thomas Jefferson. On my bookshelf sits a 6-volume biography of Jefferson and the nickel is my favorite coin as his visage is on it. While I recognize that the Founding Fathers were mere mortals and highly imperfect, Jefferson is a bit of a role model for me. I would love to be able to go back in time and meet the guy. He was a true Renaissance Man, a genuine product of the Enlightenment. Intelligent, articulate, a leader, an amateur scientist and inventor, founder of the University of Virginia, promoter of agrarian ideals, politician, statesman, and on and on. It's incredibly disheartening to think of Jefferson, our third president, and men like him building a country from scratch after booting out the English crown and then to turn around and see George W. Bush in the White House. A very unintellectual man, the leader of the free world who, in my opinion, is so because of his father and not really because of any qualities of his own.
It sometimes flummoxes me how little Americans know about the founding of this country. In order for me to graduated from the 8th grade and get into high school, I had to pass a test on the Constitution. My Social Studies class that year was dedicated to passing the test. We started off my learning about the Age of Exploration, moved on to the colonization of this land, and on to the formation of the Republic. As a class, we went over the Constitution section by section, article by article, and amendment by amendment. It seems that most people only have these concepts about "free speech" and a "right to bear arms".
More locally for me, I live in a city named after James Madison, known as "Father of the Constitution" for good reason. The streets on the isthmus here are named after the signers of the Constitution, men who, for the most part, are unknown to Americans. Most of them aren't on our money and don't have national holidays in their honor. Richard Bassett, Jonathan Dayton, Nicholas Gilman, et al. I have lived on Bassett, Dayton, and Gilman Streets. King Street was not named after Martin Luther King, Jr. but after Rufus King of Massachusetts. (Though we do now have a boulevard named after MLK.)
Speaking of history, a gentleman named Chalmers Johnson is on TV talking about his book The Sorrows of Empire. He makes many comparisons between the United States right now with the Roman Empire. Very disconcerting...
All of this aside, the book refuted the claims of the religious right in this country that the United States was found to be a "Xtian Nation". A lot of good history - I wish the book were longer.
I also read Anais Nin's Little Birds. Never having read anything by her, I was excited to explore some unknown territory. And I wasn't disappointed.
A reader emailed me saying that the story about the woman on the dunes was her favorite and I must say that I really enjoyed it as well. Overall the book was good. I think that Nin writes very well and I love the way she describes passion and sex. (I found myself becoming hard more than once.) My main gripe is that I wish most of the stories were longer. They were like a tease and I thought that there were various emotions, various feelings of the characters that, in my opinion, deserved to be fleshed out more as they seemed to have bearing on the story. But these emotions were often glossed over in the name of moving the story forward. I found myself wanting to see the bigger picture, to see more depth of the conflicting emotions, if that makes any sense. Still, as I said, I did enjoy the book tremendously. As for the story about the woman on the dunes, I really loved the juxtaposition of the encounter on the dunes with the one in the crowd watching the hanging. Two very different scenarios for the flowering of passion. Great stuff!
Last night, my roommates and I went to see The Fog of War. Again, I cannot urge you enough to check out Errol Morris' body of work. I promote him, not only because he is a graduate of the same university as me, but because he is a great documentarian. One roommate and I loved it while the other didn't get anything out of it, which I found unfortunate. Morris doesn't make your typical documentaries. There's no omniscient narrator, no man with a deep voice telling the audience things that they are then supposed to take as truth. There's no real story, no great examination of events. Morris does character studies. And in The Fog of War he studies Robert McNamara, former Secretary of Defense from 1961-68. I was rather shocked that Stevie didn't know who he was.
The film isn't about history, it's about a person. It's also about the nature of truth. Ken Burns makes documentaries that relate events to viewers. Morris isn't interested in that as much as documenting how elusive truth is. The viewer isn't supposed to believe everything McNamara tells you. He describes how he went to college and loved his philosophy/ehtics courses. Then he is in the military during World War II and helped the brass decide to fire bomb Japan resulting in the horrendous loss of countless women and children. Then he begins working for Ford Motor Company where he is instrumental in implementing saftey features such as padded dash boards and seat belts. After that, he becomes Secretary of Defense under JFK and the Vietnam War begins. So many contradictions, so much ambivalence. Who is Robert McNamara? Why did he refuse to criticize the war after he left office? Wherein lies the truth?
Morris doesn't present a series of events in a history lesson, he presents a person and asks the viewer to extract an impression of the person. And to take that impression and then ask "What does this say about me? About all people?" I think this is why Stevie didn't like the film, didn't understand it. He was expecting to see a chronological series of facts, to be given concrete information. Instead he was given a series of contradictory reminisces and asked to think about how McNamara is himself. And, in my opinion, Stevie wasn't prepared to nor inclined to do so.
I know I've been threatening this for a while, but today - I swear to Christ - I am going to see The Passion of the Christ. Oh, and my next read is going to be The Bell by Iris Murdoch.
Yesterday I read two books: The Godless Constitution and Little Birds. The former was a polemic that explored the wall of separation between church and state in the country and ranted against the Xtian right. It was exceedingly interesting. Not only did I learn quite a bit but I also just love tales about Thomas Jefferson. On my bookshelf sits a 6-volume biography of Jefferson and the nickel is my favorite coin as his visage is on it. While I recognize that the Founding Fathers were mere mortals and highly imperfect, Jefferson is a bit of a role model for me. I would love to be able to go back in time and meet the guy. He was a true Renaissance Man, a genuine product of the Enlightenment. Intelligent, articulate, a leader, an amateur scientist and inventor, founder of the University of Virginia, promoter of agrarian ideals, politician, statesman, and on and on. It's incredibly disheartening to think of Jefferson, our third president, and men like him building a country from scratch after booting out the English crown and then to turn around and see George W. Bush in the White House. A very unintellectual man, the leader of the free world who, in my opinion, is so because of his father and not really because of any qualities of his own.
It sometimes flummoxes me how little Americans know about the founding of this country. In order for me to graduated from the 8th grade and get into high school, I had to pass a test on the Constitution. My Social Studies class that year was dedicated to passing the test. We started off my learning about the Age of Exploration, moved on to the colonization of this land, and on to the formation of the Republic. As a class, we went over the Constitution section by section, article by article, and amendment by amendment. It seems that most people only have these concepts about "free speech" and a "right to bear arms".
More locally for me, I live in a city named after James Madison, known as "Father of the Constitution" for good reason. The streets on the isthmus here are named after the signers of the Constitution, men who, for the most part, are unknown to Americans. Most of them aren't on our money and don't have national holidays in their honor. Richard Bassett, Jonathan Dayton, Nicholas Gilman, et al. I have lived on Bassett, Dayton, and Gilman Streets. King Street was not named after Martin Luther King, Jr. but after Rufus King of Massachusetts. (Though we do now have a boulevard named after MLK.)
Speaking of history, a gentleman named Chalmers Johnson is on TV talking about his book The Sorrows of Empire. He makes many comparisons between the United States right now with the Roman Empire. Very disconcerting...
All of this aside, the book refuted the claims of the religious right in this country that the United States was found to be a "Xtian Nation". A lot of good history - I wish the book were longer.
I also read Anais Nin's Little Birds. Never having read anything by her, I was excited to explore some unknown territory. And I wasn't disappointed.
A reader emailed me saying that the story about the woman on the dunes was her favorite and I must say that I really enjoyed it as well. Overall the book was good. I think that Nin writes very well and I love the way she describes passion and sex. (I found myself becoming hard more than once.) My main gripe is that I wish most of the stories were longer. They were like a tease and I thought that there were various emotions, various feelings of the characters that, in my opinion, deserved to be fleshed out more as they seemed to have bearing on the story. But these emotions were often glossed over in the name of moving the story forward. I found myself wanting to see the bigger picture, to see more depth of the conflicting emotions, if that makes any sense. Still, as I said, I did enjoy the book tremendously. As for the story about the woman on the dunes, I really loved the juxtaposition of the encounter on the dunes with the one in the crowd watching the hanging. Two very different scenarios for the flowering of passion. Great stuff!
Last night, my roommates and I went to see The Fog of War. Again, I cannot urge you enough to check out Errol Morris' body of work. I promote him, not only because he is a graduate of the same university as me, but because he is a great documentarian. One roommate and I loved it while the other didn't get anything out of it, which I found unfortunate. Morris doesn't make your typical documentaries. There's no omniscient narrator, no man with a deep voice telling the audience things that they are then supposed to take as truth. There's no real story, no great examination of events. Morris does character studies. And in The Fog of War he studies Robert McNamara, former Secretary of Defense from 1961-68. I was rather shocked that Stevie didn't know who he was.
The film isn't about history, it's about a person. It's also about the nature of truth. Ken Burns makes documentaries that relate events to viewers. Morris isn't interested in that as much as documenting how elusive truth is. The viewer isn't supposed to believe everything McNamara tells you. He describes how he went to college and loved his philosophy/ehtics courses. Then he is in the military during World War II and helped the brass decide to fire bomb Japan resulting in the horrendous loss of countless women and children. Then he begins working for Ford Motor Company where he is instrumental in implementing saftey features such as padded dash boards and seat belts. After that, he becomes Secretary of Defense under JFK and the Vietnam War begins. So many contradictions, so much ambivalence. Who is Robert McNamara? Why did he refuse to criticize the war after he left office? Wherein lies the truth?
Morris doesn't present a series of events in a history lesson, he presents a person and asks the viewer to extract an impression of the person. And to take that impression and then ask "What does this say about me? About all people?" I think this is why Stevie didn't like the film, didn't understand it. He was expecting to see a chronological series of facts, to be given concrete information. Instead he was given a series of contradictory reminisces and asked to think about how McNamara is himself. And, in my opinion, Stevie wasn't prepared to nor inclined to do so.
I know I've been threatening this for a while, but today - I swear to Christ - I am going to see The Passion of the Christ. Oh, and my next read is going to be The Bell by Iris Murdoch.
05 March, 2004
Dessert Is In Order
Now that lunch is done, I feel the need for some chocolate. After this documentary ends, I'll go get me some. For now, though, this will have to do. {WARNING!! HIGHLY UNWORK SAFE!!}
I Hope I'm Not Too Messianic
I hath returned and wait by the phone like an expectant father. I have emailed my business partners and called one of them about a job. I have done a few in a row and it is someone else's turn. But they never get back to me with any haste. So our reputation for quick response suffers as I end up waiting for calls that never come. I swear, if this one of my partners bitches about not getting enough work, I may explode. It's here - waiting. Give me a cell #, check your email, get a pager. Something. I do send notices out to 2 of his email addresses. And when I do get responses, it's always "I can't do it" for whatever reason. Outta town, have an appointment - always something. Why bother to invest in a company if you're not willing to put time and effort into it? You can't expect customers' needs to conform to your schedule. I've canceled vacations, social outings, time with friends, etc. to take care of clients. But I am the only one. I just want to yell at them to shit or get off the pot!
Anyway, the CDs have been mailed. I am listening to "Three Hours" by Nick Drake as someone suggested. It's quite excellent! I was pleasantly surprised to see Danny Thompson's name in the credits and then pleasantly unsurprised to see Richard Thompson's. Although not related, the Thompsons have played together for a while now. I know one or two Nick Drake songs but got a 4CD box set so I have tons to listen to now. I also got The Godless Constitution. That's the atheist in me. It's a short book so I hope to have it mostly, if not completely, done by the time that Anais Nin book is ready for me.
Jinkies! I see that on another Nick Drake album here that Peggy and Dave Mattacks play on it. Christ! He's got most of the Fairport Convention crew playing with him! And John Cale too!
Ya know, I thought I actually had something of worth, albeit not of much, to write. But something. Hmmm...I see that a couple of my faves are out on the overhang today. That'll learn 'em!
I'm watching a documentary on the Waco incident in 1993. I suppose that part of my motiviation comes from a TV news magazine story I saw last night about a woman who escaped from a very closed polygamist community in Utah, I presume, and helps girls who want to escape from it do so. The piece mentioned Jonestown and ended with a talking head saying something about blah blah blah "...girls escaping from polygamy". So I said to my landlord, "Are they escaping from polygamy or from a bunch of fucking nutcases?" And those Heaven's Gate crazies. Why is wrong with the mind of a guy who castrates himself so he can commit suicide and hitch a ride on a comet? What goes on in the head of a mother who makes her kill themselves? 276 children drank cyanide at the behest of their parents and/or elders in the Jonestown Massacre. And 20 children died at Waco. I don't know yet if they were shot before the place went up in flames or if they were burned alive. What's the difference between those people and, say, my Catholic mother who is nothing but kind, patient, and loving? What's the difference between them and me?
I'm just a monkey man.
Anyway, the CDs have been mailed. I am listening to "Three Hours" by Nick Drake as someone suggested. It's quite excellent! I was pleasantly surprised to see Danny Thompson's name in the credits and then pleasantly unsurprised to see Richard Thompson's. Although not related, the Thompsons have played together for a while now. I know one or two Nick Drake songs but got a 4CD box set so I have tons to listen to now. I also got The Godless Constitution. That's the atheist in me. It's a short book so I hope to have it mostly, if not completely, done by the time that Anais Nin book is ready for me.
Jinkies! I see that on another Nick Drake album here that Peggy and Dave Mattacks play on it. Christ! He's got most of the Fairport Convention crew playing with him! And John Cale too!
Ya know, I thought I actually had something of worth, albeit not of much, to write. But something. Hmmm...I see that a couple of my faves are out on the overhang today. That'll learn 'em!
I'm watching a documentary on the Waco incident in 1993. I suppose that part of my motiviation comes from a TV news magazine story I saw last night about a woman who escaped from a very closed polygamist community in Utah, I presume, and helps girls who want to escape from it do so. The piece mentioned Jonestown and ended with a talking head saying something about blah blah blah "...girls escaping from polygamy". So I said to my landlord, "Are they escaping from polygamy or from a bunch of fucking nutcases?" And those Heaven's Gate crazies. Why is wrong with the mind of a guy who castrates himself so he can commit suicide and hitch a ride on a comet? What goes on in the head of a mother who makes her kill themselves? 276 children drank cyanide at the behest of their parents and/or elders in the Jonestown Massacre. And 20 children died at Waco. I don't know yet if they were shot before the place went up in flames or if they were burned alive. What's the difference between those people and, say, my Catholic mother who is nothing but kind, patient, and loving? What's the difference between them and me?
I'm just a monkey man.
Taking Stock
It was dark when I got up and then it got lighter and the sun kinda sorta peeked through the clouds. Now it's dark again. The forecast calls for rain today and a chance of snow for the next few days. I hope this is the last gasp of winter. Jack Frost can head north as far as I'm concerned.
Well, that Nick Drake album and a book about the Founding Fathers await me at the library. No word yet on the Anais Nin text, however. CDs are ready to mail. Movies to be returned to video store. Can't recall when Jeffrey is to get here. Tonight, tomorrow morning, this afternoon...Must clear off my camera's memory card and get batteries for my trek to see Jane. Jane appears to be a nanotyrannus. More info on her can be found at the Burpee's web page - here.
ignorance has alway been something i excel in
followed by naivete and pride
doesn't take a scientist to see how
any clever predator could have a piece of me
standing in the sun, idiot savant
something like a monument
i'm a dinosaur, somebody is digging my bones
Well, that Nick Drake album and a book about the Founding Fathers await me at the library. No word yet on the Anais Nin text, however. CDs are ready to mail. Movies to be returned to video store. Can't recall when Jeffrey is to get here. Tonight, tomorrow morning, this afternoon...Must clear off my camera's memory card and get batteries for my trek to see Jane. Jane appears to be a nanotyrannus. More info on her can be found at the Burpee's web page - here.
ignorance has alway been something i excel in
followed by naivete and pride
doesn't take a scientist to see how
any clever predator could have a piece of me
standing in the sun, idiot savant
something like a monument
i'm a dinosaur, somebody is digging my bones
04 March, 2004
Dreadful
I have an admission to make: I couldn't watch more than an hour of Cold Creek Manor. It was just too formulaic. Sharon Stone, however, has a nice poop chute. I need to prepare for this PC job. Must print out some invoices and get my CD-ROMs together. I suspect that it will require a reinstall of 98 but I sure hope not as that will take forever and a day.
Johnson is still tender but it heals. When I was 18, I wouldn't have let such a minor thing stop me but I guess I'm old now. It's just as well, I suppose, because I don't feel particularly frisky anyway.
I have an admission to make: I couldn't watch more than an hour of Cold Creek Manor. It was just too formulaic. Sharon Stone, however, has a nice poop chute. I need to prepare for this PC job. Must print out some invoices and get my CD-ROMs together. I suspect that it will require a reinstall of 98 but I sure hope not as that will take forever and a day.
Johnson is still tender but it heals. When I was 18, I wouldn't have let such a minor thing stop me but I guess I'm old now. It's just as well, I suppose, because I don't feel particularly frisky anyway.
Potential Philanthropy
My plans for the day have been altered. I got a call from a woman about going over to fix her computer. Since it wasn't my turn in the rotation, I asked my other business partners whose it was and got no reply. So I took it. Then I get a reply from one of them saying he'd take it. And now he emails me to say he can't and no one else can so I'm gonna take it once again. I have to be there at 4 which means that my plan to see The Passion of the Christ at 1:30 is shot. I mean, I could make it but I don't want to see the film and then go yutz around with an old, ailing PC. I want to be able to leave the theater and have some time to myself so I can mull it over and think about it. Do I take film too seriously? Perhaps.
A roommate called this morning around 6:00 and left a message. I called him about 20 minutes later when I was up and slightly caffeinated. I reached him on his cell (mobile) as he was driving up to Tomah. He'd read today's paper which has the movie listings that go into effect tomorrow. Well, THE FOG OF WAR STARTS PLAYING HERE TOMORROW!!! Isn't it wonderful to have a friend who calls you during the antelucan hours to let you know about a movie which isn't even playing yet? I will spare you all a rant on the genius of Errol Morris and say that Pete's still a maroon and owes me money.
Kingdom Hospital was OK. Well, what I caught of it was, anyway. I had the television on but found other stuff to read on the Net and didn't pay strict attention to it. I'll watch it next week, I guess. The problem is that I keep comparing it to Riget when I shouldn't be doing so. The story was good but...but...it wasn't creepy like I had expected. Riget was very creepy. King did not include a driverless ambulance until the end of the second episode as near as I could tell. I always thought that King was of the "don't open the door" school of horrot. You know, keep the audience in suspense, don't show the terror directly and let their imaginations do the dirty work. But, unless he's added things unbeknownst to me, I feel he's given too much away already. The ghost of the little girl got a lot of screen time, in my opinion, which means that the creepiness quotient of the sobbing heard in the elevator is low because we know who it is already. One thing I did like was the main character and his The Singing Detective-like predicament. And I'm happy that the mentally retarded or Down's Syndrome-afflicted dishwashers were kept. I can only wonder if the birth scene will be kept or not. It certainly won't be shown as in Riget when you get to see a woman's naughty bits.
Anyway, I was expecting the worst and, in general, was pleasantly surprised. Right now, my favorite character is the security guy with the Coke bottle glasses.
Last call for free tunes. Here's what unclaimed: 2nd Set by the Allman Bros., the last Mars Volta album, a couple discs of folk music by Madison/Milwaukee musicians, a couple bluegrass albums, the "Love is Strong" CD single by the Rolling Stones, and a disc of Negro pirituals and works songs from West Virginia. I'd like to mail them tomorrow so please get any requests in to me ASAP. Otherwise, they're being donated to the library.
A roommate called this morning around 6:00 and left a message. I called him about 20 minutes later when I was up and slightly caffeinated. I reached him on his cell (mobile) as he was driving up to Tomah. He'd read today's paper which has the movie listings that go into effect tomorrow. Well, THE FOG OF WAR STARTS PLAYING HERE TOMORROW!!! Isn't it wonderful to have a friend who calls you during the antelucan hours to let you know about a movie which isn't even playing yet? I will spare you all a rant on the genius of Errol Morris and say that Pete's still a maroon and owes me money.
Kingdom Hospital was OK. Well, what I caught of it was, anyway. I had the television on but found other stuff to read on the Net and didn't pay strict attention to it. I'll watch it next week, I guess. The problem is that I keep comparing it to Riget when I shouldn't be doing so. The story was good but...but...it wasn't creepy like I had expected. Riget was very creepy. King did not include a driverless ambulance until the end of the second episode as near as I could tell. I always thought that King was of the "don't open the door" school of horrot. You know, keep the audience in suspense, don't show the terror directly and let their imaginations do the dirty work. But, unless he's added things unbeknownst to me, I feel he's given too much away already. The ghost of the little girl got a lot of screen time, in my opinion, which means that the creepiness quotient of the sobbing heard in the elevator is low because we know who it is already. One thing I did like was the main character and his The Singing Detective-like predicament. And I'm happy that the mentally retarded or Down's Syndrome-afflicted dishwashers were kept. I can only wonder if the birth scene will be kept or not. It certainly won't be shown as in Riget when you get to see a woman's naughty bits.
Anyway, I was expecting the worst and, in general, was pleasantly surprised. Right now, my favorite character is the security guy with the Coke bottle glasses.
Last call for free tunes. Here's what unclaimed: 2nd Set by the Allman Bros., the last Mars Volta album, a couple discs of folk music by Madison/Milwaukee musicians, a couple bluegrass albums, the "Love is Strong" CD single by the Rolling Stones, and a disc of Negro pirituals and works songs from West Virginia. I'd like to mail them tomorrow so please get any requests in to me ASAP. Otherwise, they're being donated to the library.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)