A conversation between two co-workers earlier this week inspired my choice. They were arguing about incarceration and freewill.
procrustean (proh-cruss'-tee-an) adj. 1: of, relating to, or typical of Procrustes (a villainous son of Poseidon who forced travelers to fit into his bed by stretching their bodies or cutting off their legs). 2: marked by arbitrary, often ruthless disregard of individual differences or special circumstances.
01 February, 2006
31 January, 2006
On the Gramophone
Self-described purveyors of "stupidcore" Fudgie and Fufu provides this week's song. It's called "God Bless America, Especially Florida & Texas" and is an extremely funny poke at Christianity.
30 January, 2006
Prost Gotvin - Part 16
This is Prost Gotvins geometri by Gert Nygårdshaug. The translation was done by Roy Johansen. Nygårdshaug is a Norwegian author and the text has not yet been published in English. Roy is a friend of mine who recently moved back to his native Norway. He has translated a good part of the novel and I'm trying to convince him to finish it.
Here’s Part 15.
Father Gotvin's First Journey (continued)
He wasn't hurt; his glasses fell off; he picked them up, got up, stared at me in astonishment, put out his cigar, bowed, and left the compartment. I was shaking and my knees buckled under me. I sank down on the seat and buried my face in my hands. "Lord, my omnipotent Father, help me. I beg You, Lord Jesus Christ our God, Father of glory to grant all us insignificant humans the Spirit of Revelation to truly know you and grant our hearts enlightened eyes." My mind was roaming freely in the Ephesians, other epistles, scraps of quotes I knew and loved commingled into a clutter of works. Finally I managed to collect my thoughts to a real prayer: "Though a host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear. Though war should rise against me, in this I will be confident, dear God Father: I trust you in all things. You are my shepherd and the temptations You put to me I shall resist." Then I wept silently, without tears, for a long time, but I knew I had found my God again, that he was still with me; no one would ever be allowed to remove me from Him. Again I dared look up, rose to my feet, and pulled down the window – the cigar smoke had to get out. I put my head out of the window and beheld the vineyards around Narbonne. I was seized by a strong, intense homesickness. I wished Vanndal would be the next station, that Magnus Stormarkbråten would be there waiting for me, stolid and reticent, but secure. Then we could talk about the water level in the Vandøla river, about fishing grayling and trout and the possibilities of catching the big one, but that's not how it was. The next station was Narbonne, southern France, and the feeling of bliss and terror were fighting a battle in my chest. She was there, would always be there, along with God, but I had struck a human being; not dangerously, but struck nonetheless. I was at the window as the train stopped at Narbonne. I stood there remembering the terror in the face of the toothless garbage man, Pedro Urz. What had happened to the other two infidels? I still stood there as the train again set in motion. I felt like shouting out loud about the glory of God as the train picked up speed through the suburbs. Instead I whispered her name into the air. Then I sank back in my seat and curled up in the corner and fell asleep.
Here’s Part 15.
Father Gotvin's First Journey (continued)
He wasn't hurt; his glasses fell off; he picked them up, got up, stared at me in astonishment, put out his cigar, bowed, and left the compartment. I was shaking and my knees buckled under me. I sank down on the seat and buried my face in my hands. "Lord, my omnipotent Father, help me. I beg You, Lord Jesus Christ our God, Father of glory to grant all us insignificant humans the Spirit of Revelation to truly know you and grant our hearts enlightened eyes." My mind was roaming freely in the Ephesians, other epistles, scraps of quotes I knew and loved commingled into a clutter of works. Finally I managed to collect my thoughts to a real prayer: "Though a host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear. Though war should rise against me, in this I will be confident, dear God Father: I trust you in all things. You are my shepherd and the temptations You put to me I shall resist." Then I wept silently, without tears, for a long time, but I knew I had found my God again, that he was still with me; no one would ever be allowed to remove me from Him. Again I dared look up, rose to my feet, and pulled down the window – the cigar smoke had to get out. I put my head out of the window and beheld the vineyards around Narbonne. I was seized by a strong, intense homesickness. I wished Vanndal would be the next station, that Magnus Stormarkbråten would be there waiting for me, stolid and reticent, but secure. Then we could talk about the water level in the Vandøla river, about fishing grayling and trout and the possibilities of catching the big one, but that's not how it was. The next station was Narbonne, southern France, and the feeling of bliss and terror were fighting a battle in my chest. She was there, would always be there, along with God, but I had struck a human being; not dangerously, but struck nonetheless. I was at the window as the train stopped at Narbonne. I stood there remembering the terror in the face of the toothless garbage man, Pedro Urz. What had happened to the other two infidels? I still stood there as the train again set in motion. I felt like shouting out loud about the glory of God as the train picked up speed through the suburbs. Instead I whispered her name into the air. Then I sank back in my seat and curled up in the corner and fell asleep.
29 January, 2006
Another Foray Into Teutonic Cuisine
My foray into German cuisine continued this weekend. I had intended to make Hasenpfeffer after my friend Jason surprised me by handing to me a rabbit on Friday morning at work. Unfortunately, I completely forgot to bring the beast home with me and an attempt to retrieve it on Saturday morning failed miserably. So I headed out to Bavaria Sausage Kitchen after deciding on Gefüllte Schweinerippchen a la Holstein instead. These are stuffed pork chops Holstein style. I ran around town for almost three hours including my now-weekly stop at Alex Polish-American Deli. Upon my returning home, I hastily put my groceries away and started prepping the chops.
The first thing I did was pop open ein bier.
In this case, it was an altbier from the folks at BluCreek Brewing up in Black River Falls. It was quite tasty, I assure you, with its notable malty goodness as well a good measure of hops. Since The Dulcinea would not be over until later, I figured I'd get the chops all prepped and throw them in the frig until later when I'd throw them in the oven. Gefüllte Schweinerippchen a la Holstein involves stuffing the chops with a mix of apples, raisins, and bread crumbs along with a bit of seasoning.
I got my raisins soaking in some brandy and then peeled & cored the apples. They were then sautéed in butta.
Once done, I chopped them and added the raisins and brandy. To that I added bread crumbs and proceeded to season to taste with a dash of cinammon and a pinch of sugar. A couple hours later, The Dulcinea arrived. I arranged the chops in my cast iron kettle along with some pork stock. Into the oven they went.
To go with the porky goodness, I made Meerettichkartoffeln or Potatoes in Horseradish Cream Sauce. As the potatoes boiled, we enjoyed some Swiss cheese and slices of Pfefferjager, which is basically a spicy beef summer sausage. It actually had a bit of zing and was very tasty. When the spuds were done, I drained and cooled them. Meanwhile, The Dulcinea got on with making the sauce. Onions sautéed in lots of butter, flour, milk, and horseradish made a delicious sauce.
As everything was coming together, I warmed up some sweet & sour red cabbage. To round things out, I had bought some rye bread. This was the super-heavy rib-sticking variety. In the words of Dr. Zoidberg, each pound weighed 10,000 pounds. Here's the final (sparse) presentation sans brot:
Just before dinner was ready, my prepping of dessert came to a close. It was a Frankfurt Pudding. This wasn't the stuff you make out of milk and powder from box - more the stuff made from fat & flour and steamed. The recipe called for a melon mold but I don't own was and, after 3 hours of grocery shopping, there wasn't a cat in hell's chance I was going to look for a mold. So I threw it in a cake pan.
It turned out really well. And by "relly well" I mean fucking awesome! It was nice'n'chocolatey. Plus, being served warm, it was very hearty.
As an addendum, I want to mention the jelly roll I bought at Alex Polish-American Deli. It was incredible! The Dulcinea and I ate some of it this morning. Apricot and whipped cream filling...mmmm...It went surprisingly well with my egg & bacon sandwich which had 2 kinds of bacon: Gypsy and spiced bacon roll. My heart took another pounding this weekend though probably not quite as bad as last.
Prost!
The first thing I did was pop open ein bier.
In this case, it was an altbier from the folks at BluCreek Brewing up in Black River Falls. It was quite tasty, I assure you, with its notable malty goodness as well a good measure of hops. Since The Dulcinea would not be over until later, I figured I'd get the chops all prepped and throw them in the frig until later when I'd throw them in the oven. Gefüllte Schweinerippchen a la Holstein involves stuffing the chops with a mix of apples, raisins, and bread crumbs along with a bit of seasoning.
I got my raisins soaking in some brandy and then peeled & cored the apples. They were then sautéed in butta.
Once done, I chopped them and added the raisins and brandy. To that I added bread crumbs and proceeded to season to taste with a dash of cinammon and a pinch of sugar. A couple hours later, The Dulcinea arrived. I arranged the chops in my cast iron kettle along with some pork stock. Into the oven they went.
To go with the porky goodness, I made Meerettichkartoffeln or Potatoes in Horseradish Cream Sauce. As the potatoes boiled, we enjoyed some Swiss cheese and slices of Pfefferjager, which is basically a spicy beef summer sausage. It actually had a bit of zing and was very tasty. When the spuds were done, I drained and cooled them. Meanwhile, The Dulcinea got on with making the sauce. Onions sautéed in lots of butter, flour, milk, and horseradish made a delicious sauce.
As everything was coming together, I warmed up some sweet & sour red cabbage. To round things out, I had bought some rye bread. This was the super-heavy rib-sticking variety. In the words of Dr. Zoidberg, each pound weighed 10,000 pounds. Here's the final (sparse) presentation sans brot:
Just before dinner was ready, my prepping of dessert came to a close. It was a Frankfurt Pudding. This wasn't the stuff you make out of milk and powder from box - more the stuff made from fat & flour and steamed. The recipe called for a melon mold but I don't own was and, after 3 hours of grocery shopping, there wasn't a cat in hell's chance I was going to look for a mold. So I threw it in a cake pan.
It turned out really well. And by "relly well" I mean fucking awesome! It was nice'n'chocolatey. Plus, being served warm, it was very hearty.
As an addendum, I want to mention the jelly roll I bought at Alex Polish-American Deli. It was incredible! The Dulcinea and I ate some of it this morning. Apricot and whipped cream filling...mmmm...It went surprisingly well with my egg & bacon sandwich which had 2 kinds of bacon: Gypsy and spiced bacon roll. My heart took another pounding this weekend though probably not quite as bad as last.
Prost!
27 January, 2006
Lectures To Go
Standford University has become the first university to post a large amount of recording of lectures, speeches, etc. on the web to the general public.
In an unprecedented move, Stanford University is collaborating with Apple Computer to allow public access a wide range of lectures, speeches, debates and other university content through iTunes. No need to pay the $31,200 tuition. No need to live on campus. No need even to be a student. The nearly 500 tracks that constitute “Stanford on iTunes” are available to anyone willing to spend the few minutes it takes to download them from the Internet.
While a number of other universities are now using iTunes to distribute class-specific content to their students, including Duke University, Drexel University’s School of Education and the University of Michigan School of Dentistry, Stanford is the first to make a substantial amount of recorded university events available to the public at large.
It is called Standford on iTunes.
In an unprecedented move, Stanford University is collaborating with Apple Computer to allow public access a wide range of lectures, speeches, debates and other university content through iTunes. No need to pay the $31,200 tuition. No need to live on campus. No need even to be a student. The nearly 500 tracks that constitute “Stanford on iTunes” are available to anyone willing to spend the few minutes it takes to download them from the Internet.
While a number of other universities are now using iTunes to distribute class-specific content to their students, including Duke University, Drexel University’s School of Education and the University of Michigan School of Dentistry, Stanford is the first to make a substantial amount of recorded university events available to the public at large.
It is called Standford on iTunes.
Neverwinter Nights 2
For all you gaming dorks out there, I see that some screenshots from the forthcoming Neverwinter Nights 2 have been posted. I think I'll have to get me a new video card if I'm gonna be able to play it.
Richard Dawkins to Appear on Infidel Guy
Noted zoologist and godless heathen Richard Dawkins is scheduled to appear on the Internet radio program The Infidel Guy Show on Saturday, 18 February.
The Porn Star Shortage
Personally, I think Tucker Carlson is a weasel but the guy apparently has a sense of humor. Here he is interviewing Michael Feldenkrais. Feldenkrais is the lawyer for Dorismar, an Argentine woman who came to this country and became a porn star. The INS wants to deport her as she's been living here illegally.
CARLSON: Do you think—is there a porn shortage in this country, do you think? I mean, is there a lack of homegrown porn actresses? Is this a crisis?
FELDENKRAIS: I do not believe it‘s a crisis. There‘s definitely a lot of talent out there. And but that doesn‘t stop us from...
CARLSON: Why should we flood the market with cheap foreign imports, thereby forcing our own porn actresses out of work and oppressing their wages?
CARLSON: Do you think—is there a porn shortage in this country, do you think? I mean, is there a lack of homegrown porn actresses? Is this a crisis?
FELDENKRAIS: I do not believe it‘s a crisis. There‘s definitely a lot of talent out there. And but that doesn‘t stop us from...
CARLSON: Why should we flood the market with cheap foreign imports, thereby forcing our own porn actresses out of work and oppressing their wages?
26 January, 2006
Prost Gotvins Geometri – Part 15
This is Prost Gotvins geometri by Gert Nygårdshaug. The translation was done by Roy Johansen. Nygårdshaug is a Norwegian author and the text has not yet been published in English. Roy is a friend of mine who recently moved back to his native Norway. He has translated a good part of the novel and I'm trying to convince him to finish it.
Here’s Part 14.
Father Gotvin's First Journey (continued)
The hotel, my sleep, the departure from Santiago de Compostella, and most of the train ride to Madrid and on to Barcelona must have taken place in a state of total emptiness where no thoughts existed. I was thinking, naturally, but I did not reflect on the thoughts I was thinking. I took in very little of what happened outside of my own self, which was centered on the image of her, a static image. Could love be this spontaneous? Did I pray? Did I remember my prayers? Where was the Lord my God? I did not know. Thinking back, I'm pretty sure I followed my rituals and did what I was supposed to do. We were approaching the French border when two things happened almost simultaneously that made me wake up. I ate my breakfast which consisted of dry bread and water and tried to read a little in a magazine I had found at the station in Barcelona. But the letters did not form words. Instead everything smeared into a gray, meaningless matter. Then her sentence appeared again, the one she had spoken as she stepped off the train after our first encounter: "If you decipher this drawing, you shall learn what truly is concealed in Heaven."
The riddle.
I must solve the riddle.
That was a demand, an absolute.
Viking fortress in Denmark.
"Barking up the wrong tree," she had said, and I blushed again, but they were names of Viking fortresses in Denmark, weren't they? Niels Igneby wasn't likely to be mistaken. I pulled out the drawing from my pocket; it was crumpled, worn, but perfectly legible. What could she possibly mean? She was absolutely serious about this, that much I had gathered. I could not call her or contact her in any other way until I had solved this riddle and found out what Heaven truly conceals. I noticed I was feeling nauseated. There was something here I ought to watch out for. I perceived an inner voice telling me to be careful. Should not I, of all people, already know what is concealed in Heaven? Were there more than one Heaven? Unlikely. I couldn't eat anymore bread but thinking about his riddle and the words that went with it awoke me, brought me back to the real world. The real world was the train home to Vanndal, where Father Gotvin was to resume his vocational duties, his daily routine, but an unsolved riddle had the power to disrupt all that. I couldn't contact her, wasn't allowed to hear her voice on the telephone – she had been adamant about this – and suddenly I knew just as a traveler entered the compartment where I had been the only occupant; he was an older man, heavy set. I knew I would never again see Lucienne Lopez unless I did what she had demanded; which meant I could not go home to Vanndal, to Magnus Stormarkbråten, my father Kastor, to my neighbors Margit and Anders Nederstuen or my friends who were calling me "Father" until I had solved this riddle. That's how it was, that was reality. I must stop in Denmark and find a man called Preben Hansson. Did I have the money for a few days' stay in Denmark? No, but I could have a small amount transferred.
"Am I disturbing?"
The older, corpulent man was addressing me, looking at me through a pair of thick eyeglasses while lighting a slim cigar. Tobacco smoke never bothered me. On the contrary rather. Did he want to talk to me? He spoke French, which I could handle tolerably well. Would a conversation with a stranger about neutral subjects help me forget my own thoughts? Hardly, but I could try.
"Not at all," I replied.
"Bullfighting," he said, "is a noble sport."
"It is?"
"I have just been in Barcelona and seen El grande matador, señor Rodrigo Gavista."
"And what's the other bull's name?"
The man laughed and was not offended by my, for me totally unexpected, ironic remark. Irony had never been part of my discursive arsenal. Who had I become? He introduced himself as painter-artist Dupont from Bordeaux. Then he continued and I received an in-depth lecture on the finer points of bullfighting; its sublime aesthetics and ethics; the corrida was a theater in its most elevated form, un lanca de capa and natura con la izquierda, to say nothing of the masterpiece brindis del toreo. This was ballet – that's how it was – and, with regards to the ox, the bull in question, he personally would, given a choice between being a regular bull and one destined for bullfighting, without a shadow of a doubt have chosen the latter. Bullfighting bulls lived all their lives as kings and died as kings whereas bulls whose fate it was to become beef lead a paltry, miserable life and died in surroundings reeking with urine, excrement, blood, and terror in the butcher shops. Had I ever been to a Spanish butcher shop and looked for myself? No, that I hadn't, but where was I from? He noticed my boreal accent.
"From Norway," I replied.
"Vacation?"
I nodded. "Been to Santiago de Compostella."
"Really?" He blinked eagerly behind his glasses and pulled closer. "A pilgrimage. A visit to the scene of a recently proclaimed miracle. Did you see anything?"
"No." I squirmed, feeling uneasy.
He moved even closer screwed up his eyes until they became narrow slits, and continued in a muted voice.
"Let me tell you something, stranger, stay away from places like that. I can be fatally dangerous for non-believers, but perhaps you are a believer?"
I nodded and looked away.
"Then let me tell you a story you should know. I myself happen to have been interested in these phenomena. I have certain connections; reliable sources and, with respect to the incident in Fatima in October of 1917, I'm sure you have heard about it. There were also present among the onlookers non-believers, dissenters, dissidents who interpreted the phenomenon differently. They were free to do so as long as they did not go public with their views, but four men independent of each other, did. One of them was even a professor of philosophy. Afterwards they were visited by lackeys of the cardinals in Rome and were tortured in unimaginable ways. João Herreira had his balls cut off and they were all threatened with even worse things befalling their families unless they put an end to their public heresies. I happen to know that the cardinals Timoteus Villalobos, Jaroslaw Tugor, and Alfons de Montesquieller personally participated in the ball lopping. They are all dead now, victims as well as villains. I know it's not a comfortable story for a believer, but one you should know about because these things are supposed to have happened in Santiago de Compostella as well. There were three or four infidels present when the so-called "Mary" appeared in the sky.
I had turned away.
I did not want to hear.
I was freezing.
I wanted to hear nothing.
"Two of these infidels who witnessed the miracle on the cathedral square on September 20th of last year are dead – perished under very mysterious circumstances. Did you know?"
I did not move.
I did not listen.
I saw the scenery flicker by.
"You did not know? Well, now you do." He hissed like a snake and I felt his breath – garlic – close to my cheek.
I rose and took the magazine.
Rolled it up.
I struck as hard as I could.
Hit him on top of the head.
Here’s Part 14.
Father Gotvin's First Journey (continued)
The hotel, my sleep, the departure from Santiago de Compostella, and most of the train ride to Madrid and on to Barcelona must have taken place in a state of total emptiness where no thoughts existed. I was thinking, naturally, but I did not reflect on the thoughts I was thinking. I took in very little of what happened outside of my own self, which was centered on the image of her, a static image. Could love be this spontaneous? Did I pray? Did I remember my prayers? Where was the Lord my God? I did not know. Thinking back, I'm pretty sure I followed my rituals and did what I was supposed to do. We were approaching the French border when two things happened almost simultaneously that made me wake up. I ate my breakfast which consisted of dry bread and water and tried to read a little in a magazine I had found at the station in Barcelona. But the letters did not form words. Instead everything smeared into a gray, meaningless matter. Then her sentence appeared again, the one she had spoken as she stepped off the train after our first encounter: "If you decipher this drawing, you shall learn what truly is concealed in Heaven."
The riddle.
I must solve the riddle.
That was a demand, an absolute.
Viking fortress in Denmark.
"Barking up the wrong tree," she had said, and I blushed again, but they were names of Viking fortresses in Denmark, weren't they? Niels Igneby wasn't likely to be mistaken. I pulled out the drawing from my pocket; it was crumpled, worn, but perfectly legible. What could she possibly mean? She was absolutely serious about this, that much I had gathered. I could not call her or contact her in any other way until I had solved this riddle and found out what Heaven truly conceals. I noticed I was feeling nauseated. There was something here I ought to watch out for. I perceived an inner voice telling me to be careful. Should not I, of all people, already know what is concealed in Heaven? Were there more than one Heaven? Unlikely. I couldn't eat anymore bread but thinking about his riddle and the words that went with it awoke me, brought me back to the real world. The real world was the train home to Vanndal, where Father Gotvin was to resume his vocational duties, his daily routine, but an unsolved riddle had the power to disrupt all that. I couldn't contact her, wasn't allowed to hear her voice on the telephone – she had been adamant about this – and suddenly I knew just as a traveler entered the compartment where I had been the only occupant; he was an older man, heavy set. I knew I would never again see Lucienne Lopez unless I did what she had demanded; which meant I could not go home to Vanndal, to Magnus Stormarkbråten, my father Kastor, to my neighbors Margit and Anders Nederstuen or my friends who were calling me "Father" until I had solved this riddle. That's how it was, that was reality. I must stop in Denmark and find a man called Preben Hansson. Did I have the money for a few days' stay in Denmark? No, but I could have a small amount transferred.
"Am I disturbing?"
The older, corpulent man was addressing me, looking at me through a pair of thick eyeglasses while lighting a slim cigar. Tobacco smoke never bothered me. On the contrary rather. Did he want to talk to me? He spoke French, which I could handle tolerably well. Would a conversation with a stranger about neutral subjects help me forget my own thoughts? Hardly, but I could try.
"Not at all," I replied.
"Bullfighting," he said, "is a noble sport."
"It is?"
"I have just been in Barcelona and seen El grande matador, señor Rodrigo Gavista."
"And what's the other bull's name?"
The man laughed and was not offended by my, for me totally unexpected, ironic remark. Irony had never been part of my discursive arsenal. Who had I become? He introduced himself as painter-artist Dupont from Bordeaux. Then he continued and I received an in-depth lecture on the finer points of bullfighting; its sublime aesthetics and ethics; the corrida was a theater in its most elevated form, un lanca de capa and natura con la izquierda, to say nothing of the masterpiece brindis del toreo. This was ballet – that's how it was – and, with regards to the ox, the bull in question, he personally would, given a choice between being a regular bull and one destined for bullfighting, without a shadow of a doubt have chosen the latter. Bullfighting bulls lived all their lives as kings and died as kings whereas bulls whose fate it was to become beef lead a paltry, miserable life and died in surroundings reeking with urine, excrement, blood, and terror in the butcher shops. Had I ever been to a Spanish butcher shop and looked for myself? No, that I hadn't, but where was I from? He noticed my boreal accent.
"From Norway," I replied.
"Vacation?"
I nodded. "Been to Santiago de Compostella."
"Really?" He blinked eagerly behind his glasses and pulled closer. "A pilgrimage. A visit to the scene of a recently proclaimed miracle. Did you see anything?"
"No." I squirmed, feeling uneasy.
He moved even closer screwed up his eyes until they became narrow slits, and continued in a muted voice.
"Let me tell you something, stranger, stay away from places like that. I can be fatally dangerous for non-believers, but perhaps you are a believer?"
I nodded and looked away.
"Then let me tell you a story you should know. I myself happen to have been interested in these phenomena. I have certain connections; reliable sources and, with respect to the incident in Fatima in October of 1917, I'm sure you have heard about it. There were also present among the onlookers non-believers, dissenters, dissidents who interpreted the phenomenon differently. They were free to do so as long as they did not go public with their views, but four men independent of each other, did. One of them was even a professor of philosophy. Afterwards they were visited by lackeys of the cardinals in Rome and were tortured in unimaginable ways. João Herreira had his balls cut off and they were all threatened with even worse things befalling their families unless they put an end to their public heresies. I happen to know that the cardinals Timoteus Villalobos, Jaroslaw Tugor, and Alfons de Montesquieller personally participated in the ball lopping. They are all dead now, victims as well as villains. I know it's not a comfortable story for a believer, but one you should know about because these things are supposed to have happened in Santiago de Compostella as well. There were three or four infidels present when the so-called "Mary" appeared in the sky.
I had turned away.
I did not want to hear.
I was freezing.
I wanted to hear nothing.
"Two of these infidels who witnessed the miracle on the cathedral square on September 20th of last year are dead – perished under very mysterious circumstances. Did you know?"
I did not move.
I did not listen.
I saw the scenery flicker by.
"You did not know? Well, now you do." He hissed like a snake and I felt his breath – garlic – close to my cheek.
I rose and took the magazine.
Rolled it up.
I struck as hard as I could.
Hit him on top of the head.
Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes
"We eliminated almost 4,000 positions from the state payroll."
So said our governor, James Doyle, last week. (OK – it's in the prepared text, anyway.) He labeled it a "tough cut" and I'm wondering exactly at whom that comment was directed. I'm thinking he probably didn't direct at the people who have lost their jobs or their families. I am also inclined to think that he didn't direct it at the remaining thousands of state employees. Or maybe he did. Was it a bit of honesty? Was it a warning to state employees and their unions? I really don't know what to think. I haven't heard the speech so, if that remark was spoken, I don't know what tone of voice he used to say those words. Did he sound rueful? Did he sound proud for having done this to help reduce the state debt? Or did he sound otherwise?
Doyle also said: "We reduced outside contracting by 12 percent - the first reduction in a decade." I don't have any statistics on this so I assume that this is accurate. Where I work, there certainly isn't any shortage of contractors, though, and FTEs are getting fewer and fewer. If we contractors disappeared, well, let's just say it would be very difficult to conduct business. Of course, my experience does not cover every state agency and is mostly limited to IT. There is a boatload of restructuring going on in the state IT world. Some people have lost or will lose their jobs. Other folks have had their position transferred to a different agency. And there are those that have been put into different positions. But there's no doubt that rules about hiring contractors have changed. On 1 June of last year, the Wisconsin IT Directors Council had their monthly meeting. From the minutes:
Staff levels are down significantly (from 30 to 20) in at least one agency. The general expectation among the group was that this trend will continue in response to the SIS initiative as well as other factors. The VMS procurement process being behind schedule, which currently precludes agencies from obtaining new contractors, was also mentioned. It was suggested that perhaps recent retirees may be willing to return in LTE positions.
And from their November meeting:
New Contractor Sourcing Contract – Has anyone used it yet? Three attendees indicated they have used the new sourcing process. Of those three IT directors, the general consensus was that they are not getting many responses as with the previous process and that the respondents they were getting were from a larger geographical area. As many as ~70% of the respondents for one agency were from out of state including one individual from outside the country. Another general comment was that upon interviewing applicants, a notable portion e.g. ~ 50% for one agency, of the respondents appeared not to be qualified for the advertised position. The comment was made that some individuals appeared to be mismatched with the resume submitted. This prompted a discussion on what different agencies are doing and what resources are available to check backgrounds and access the truthfulness of information supplied by individuals applying for contractor spots.
Doyle also said: "We're using the state's buying power to save taxpayers $150 million on everything from office paper to computers to prescription drugs." This brings to mind a comment a friend, who works at a state agency, made to me today:
I just received word that I'm no longer able to order toner cartridges from the little local company that we've used for years. The new contract is to order new ones from Office Max or remans from a company in Minnesota. So this means that now instead of ordering pc's from a company in Pewaukee I have to order them from China and I now have to get my toner from a company in Mnpls. I find it hard to understand how the Governor feels he's going to help the local economy (let's face it, you can only cut so much, you need to increase revenue) by sending our tax dollars out of state or out of the country and bankrupting local businesses. Meanwhile the head of consolidated procurement at DOA has just been indicted.
One should also note that the Wisconsin Help Desk is no longer staffed by a Wisconsin company but rather by one in Illinois. I cannot vouch for other contracts going out of state and it is certainly possible that these are tough but necessary actions that will benefit the state in the long run even if it is rough in the short run. I just don't know. But I am curious to know what it is about the new Contractor Sourcing Contract that would produce a body of applicants which found nearly 70% of them coming from out of state. If we've gotta induce recent retirees to return as LTEs to get the job done within budget, so be it. But what if not enough of them can be cajoled back into service?
While I reducing the state deficit is a good thing, only time will tell if the measures Doyle has taken hold true. If staffing levels go down, will the work that needs to be done actually get done? After the SIS initiative is in place, will we the taxpayers be saving money? I sure hope so. But, if you read those meeting minutes, you can see that IT directors have a lot of questions about $$$ that, as of the time of the meeting, were unanswered. SIS involves the Department of Administration hosting various IT services and thusly forcing the other agencies to pay DOA for them. This is a top-level thing so you can't just opt-out. What if part of your agency's operating budget comes not from the state coffer but from business? You are a company and you pay a state agency to regulate your industry - you will find yourself, in essence, paying the DOA for services. How will that go over?
There's a lot going on now and so there's a lot of money at stake and a lot of politics involved. And we're just going to have to wait to see how it all pans out.
So said our governor, James Doyle, last week. (OK – it's in the prepared text, anyway.) He labeled it a "tough cut" and I'm wondering exactly at whom that comment was directed. I'm thinking he probably didn't direct at the people who have lost their jobs or their families. I am also inclined to think that he didn't direct it at the remaining thousands of state employees. Or maybe he did. Was it a bit of honesty? Was it a warning to state employees and their unions? I really don't know what to think. I haven't heard the speech so, if that remark was spoken, I don't know what tone of voice he used to say those words. Did he sound rueful? Did he sound proud for having done this to help reduce the state debt? Or did he sound otherwise?
Doyle also said: "We reduced outside contracting by 12 percent - the first reduction in a decade." I don't have any statistics on this so I assume that this is accurate. Where I work, there certainly isn't any shortage of contractors, though, and FTEs are getting fewer and fewer. If we contractors disappeared, well, let's just say it would be very difficult to conduct business. Of course, my experience does not cover every state agency and is mostly limited to IT. There is a boatload of restructuring going on in the state IT world. Some people have lost or will lose their jobs. Other folks have had their position transferred to a different agency. And there are those that have been put into different positions. But there's no doubt that rules about hiring contractors have changed. On 1 June of last year, the Wisconsin IT Directors Council had their monthly meeting. From the minutes:
Staff levels are down significantly (from 30 to 20) in at least one agency. The general expectation among the group was that this trend will continue in response to the SIS initiative as well as other factors. The VMS procurement process being behind schedule, which currently precludes agencies from obtaining new contractors, was also mentioned. It was suggested that perhaps recent retirees may be willing to return in LTE positions.
And from their November meeting:
New Contractor Sourcing Contract – Has anyone used it yet? Three attendees indicated they have used the new sourcing process. Of those three IT directors, the general consensus was that they are not getting many responses as with the previous process and that the respondents they were getting were from a larger geographical area. As many as ~70% of the respondents for one agency were from out of state including one individual from outside the country. Another general comment was that upon interviewing applicants, a notable portion e.g. ~ 50% for one agency, of the respondents appeared not to be qualified for the advertised position. The comment was made that some individuals appeared to be mismatched with the resume submitted. This prompted a discussion on what different agencies are doing and what resources are available to check backgrounds and access the truthfulness of information supplied by individuals applying for contractor spots.
Doyle also said: "We're using the state's buying power to save taxpayers $150 million on everything from office paper to computers to prescription drugs." This brings to mind a comment a friend, who works at a state agency, made to me today:
I just received word that I'm no longer able to order toner cartridges from the little local company that we've used for years. The new contract is to order new ones from Office Max or remans from a company in Minnesota. So this means that now instead of ordering pc's from a company in Pewaukee I have to order them from China and I now have to get my toner from a company in Mnpls. I find it hard to understand how the Governor feels he's going to help the local economy (let's face it, you can only cut so much, you need to increase revenue) by sending our tax dollars out of state or out of the country and bankrupting local businesses. Meanwhile the head of consolidated procurement at DOA has just been indicted.
One should also note that the Wisconsin Help Desk is no longer staffed by a Wisconsin company but rather by one in Illinois. I cannot vouch for other contracts going out of state and it is certainly possible that these are tough but necessary actions that will benefit the state in the long run even if it is rough in the short run. I just don't know. But I am curious to know what it is about the new Contractor Sourcing Contract that would produce a body of applicants which found nearly 70% of them coming from out of state. If we've gotta induce recent retirees to return as LTEs to get the job done within budget, so be it. But what if not enough of them can be cajoled back into service?
While I reducing the state deficit is a good thing, only time will tell if the measures Doyle has taken hold true. If staffing levels go down, will the work that needs to be done actually get done? After the SIS initiative is in place, will we the taxpayers be saving money? I sure hope so. But, if you read those meeting minutes, you can see that IT directors have a lot of questions about $$$ that, as of the time of the meeting, were unanswered. SIS involves the Department of Administration hosting various IT services and thusly forcing the other agencies to pay DOA for them. This is a top-level thing so you can't just opt-out. What if part of your agency's operating budget comes not from the state coffer but from business? You are a company and you pay a state agency to regulate your industry - you will find yourself, in essence, paying the DOA for services. How will that go over?
There's a lot going on now and so there's a lot of money at stake and a lot of politics involved. And we're just going to have to wait to see how it all pans out.
25 January, 2006
Word of the Week
soporific (sŏpƏ-rĭfĭk) adj. Inducing or tending to induce sleep.
As in "dumb girls make me soporific" from yesterday's song.
As in "dumb girls make me soporific" from yesterday's song.
24 January, 2006
Probable Cause For Being Pissed Off
General Michael V. Hayden is the Deputy Director of National Intelligence. While I'm not quite sure what this title entails, is presumably means that he's one of the highest officials of the NSA. He gave a press conference yesterday and I've listened to some of the exchanges. One reporter, Jonathan Landay of Knight-Ridder, began his question by saying:
I'm no lawyer but my understanding is that the Fourth Amendment of the Constitution specifies that you must have probably cause to be able to do a search that does not violate an American's right against unlawful...searches and seizures.
I'm no lawyer either but this doesn't sound like the words of judicial activist. Hayden, however, took issue with this statement:
No, actually...The Fourth Amendment actually, uh, protects all of us against unreasonable (his emphasis) search and seizure.
Landay: The measure is probable cause, I believe.
Hayden: The amendment says unreasonable search and seizure.
Landay: But does it not say prob...(he is cut off by Hayden)
Hayden: No.
OK, I know the President swears an oath to uphold the Constiution but that doesn't mean that the Deputy Director of National Intelligence does. But, holy shit! How in the name of fuck does a person get such a high falutin' title and not know the Fourth Amendment?! According to the National Archives, it reads:
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
Emphasis is mine and I make it quite emphatically. If Hayden or anyone else doesn't believe me, go look at the primary document yourself at this site. If you're too lazy to actually go look at it, here's the relevant text blown up and cropped.
Is it unreasonable to expect the Deputy Director of National Intelligence to know the Constitution?
I'm no lawyer but my understanding is that the Fourth Amendment of the Constitution specifies that you must have probably cause to be able to do a search that does not violate an American's right against unlawful...searches and seizures.
I'm no lawyer either but this doesn't sound like the words of judicial activist. Hayden, however, took issue with this statement:
No, actually...The Fourth Amendment actually, uh, protects all of us against unreasonable (his emphasis) search and seizure.
Landay: The measure is probable cause, I believe.
Hayden: The amendment says unreasonable search and seizure.
Landay: But does it not say prob...(he is cut off by Hayden)
Hayden: No.
OK, I know the President swears an oath to uphold the Constiution but that doesn't mean that the Deputy Director of National Intelligence does. But, holy shit! How in the name of fuck does a person get such a high falutin' title and not know the Fourth Amendment?! According to the National Archives, it reads:
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
Emphasis is mine and I make it quite emphatically. If Hayden or anyone else doesn't believe me, go look at the primary document yourself at this site. If you're too lazy to actually go look at it, here's the relevant text blown up and cropped.
Is it unreasonable to expect the Deputy Director of National Intelligence to know the Constitution?
Medieval
Tonight Nova is airing a program about a bunch of dorks like me who enjoy things medieval, especially seige engines. They build trebuchets! (A trebuchet is like a catapult.) While Abrams tanks are definitely a marvel of engineering, it's still really fucking impressive to watch a bunch of guys transform whole trees into machines that hurl 250-300 pound stone balls a couple hundred yards sans gunpowder.
Tanks today have all these computers for targeting. Contrast this with a counterweight that can accommodate 12 tons of dirt for distance and having to move a couple tons of wood to one side or the other. When that ball hit the stone wall built to simulate that of a castle, it put a good-sized hole in it. Quite impressive.
Tanks today have all these computers for targeting. Contrast this with a counterweight that can accommodate 12 tons of dirt for distance and having to move a couple tons of wood to one side or the other. When that ball hit the stone wall built to simulate that of a castle, it put a good-sized hole in it. Quite impressive.
Shiver Me Timbers!
The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) has admitted that it (gasp!) pirated a movie! Oh, luscious irony! The group that stands behind the Digital Millennium Copyright Act to make sure Jane and Joe Average Consumer can't copy DVDs for their own personal use has done so:
What happens when an organization that is best known for inveighing against the unauthorized copying of movies gets caught doing exactly that? The Motion Picture Association of America was caught with its pants down, admitting to making unauthorized copies of the documentary This Film Is Not Yet Rated in advance of this week's Sundance Film Festival.
This Film Is Not Yet Rated looks at the motion picture ratings system created and run by the MPAA. Director Kirby Dick submitted the film for rating in November. After receiving the movie, the MPAA subsequently made copies without Dick's permission. Dick had specifically requested in an e-mail that the MPAA not make copies of the movie. The MPAA responded by saying that "the confidentiality of your film is our first priority."
What makes this all the more amusing is that the pirated film is all about the hypocrisy of the MPAA and its ratings system:
A little background: This Film looks at how the rating system functions, specifically at how some types of content are treated differently by the MPAA. Dick feels that the MPAA is full of—surprise—double standards, especially when it comes to how they treat graphic violence vs. sexual content, heterosexual vs. homosexual sex, and big-studio vs. independent films. As part of the documentary's creation, Dick trailed and identified some of the previously anonymous members of the ratings board. Dick's conduct became a cause for concern for both the MPAA and its employees, leading to their calling the police on some occasions.
According to Mark Lemley, a professor at the Stanford Law School, the MPAA may have been within its rights to make copies of the film. Given that the MPAA's intent isn't financial gain and that the whole situation may rise above the level of trading barbs through the media into legal action, making a copy may be justified. Personally, I can't see any justification for an organization such as the MPAA ignoring a directive from a copyright owner, but IANAL. A "digital version" of the movie was submitted for screening, according to Dick's attorney, Michael Donaldson. If that digital version turns out to be a DVD, the MPAA could also find itself in hot water for violating the DMCA. Oh, the irony! Either way, the MPAA can't be happy about being put into a position where they are forced to justify the same actions they decry when undertaken by a consumer.
What happens when an organization that is best known for inveighing against the unauthorized copying of movies gets caught doing exactly that? The Motion Picture Association of America was caught with its pants down, admitting to making unauthorized copies of the documentary This Film Is Not Yet Rated in advance of this week's Sundance Film Festival.
This Film Is Not Yet Rated looks at the motion picture ratings system created and run by the MPAA. Director Kirby Dick submitted the film for rating in November. After receiving the movie, the MPAA subsequently made copies without Dick's permission. Dick had specifically requested in an e-mail that the MPAA not make copies of the movie. The MPAA responded by saying that "the confidentiality of your film is our first priority."
What makes this all the more amusing is that the pirated film is all about the hypocrisy of the MPAA and its ratings system:
A little background: This Film looks at how the rating system functions, specifically at how some types of content are treated differently by the MPAA. Dick feels that the MPAA is full of—surprise—double standards, especially when it comes to how they treat graphic violence vs. sexual content, heterosexual vs. homosexual sex, and big-studio vs. independent films. As part of the documentary's creation, Dick trailed and identified some of the previously anonymous members of the ratings board. Dick's conduct became a cause for concern for both the MPAA and its employees, leading to their calling the police on some occasions.
According to Mark Lemley, a professor at the Stanford Law School, the MPAA may have been within its rights to make copies of the film. Given that the MPAA's intent isn't financial gain and that the whole situation may rise above the level of trading barbs through the media into legal action, making a copy may be justified. Personally, I can't see any justification for an organization such as the MPAA ignoring a directive from a copyright owner, but IANAL. A "digital version" of the movie was submitted for screening, according to Dick's attorney, Michael Donaldson. If that digital version turns out to be a DVD, the MPAA could also find itself in hot water for violating the DMCA. Oh, the irony! Either way, the MPAA can't be happy about being put into a position where they are forced to justify the same actions they decry when undertaken by a consumer.
Chocolate Follow-up
As a follow-up to my earlier post about how chocolate is good for one's sex life, I present this bit of science.
While it's been known for some time that a group of chemicals called flavanols--found in tea, wine and cocoa--are good for the vascular system, these recent findings identify a specific chemical, epicatechin, as linked to improved circulation and heart health. Scientists from University of California, Davis, Harvard Medical School and the Heinrich-Heine University of Duesseldorf, Germany published the results of their study in the January 17 issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
Finally, science catches up with us chocolate lovers.
While it's been known for some time that a group of chemicals called flavanols--found in tea, wine and cocoa--are good for the vascular system, these recent findings identify a specific chemical, epicatechin, as linked to improved circulation and heart health. Scientists from University of California, Davis, Harvard Medical School and the Heinrich-Heine University of Duesseldorf, Germany published the results of their study in the January 17 issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
Finally, science catches up with us chocolate lovers.
International Festival
In addition to being Darwin Day, the twelfth of February brings the International Festival at the Overture Center here in Madison. The event lasts from 11-5 and features music, dance, crafts, and (of course) food. There's a full schedule (in PDF) up at the site with a variety of events on tap.
Musically, there's a plethora of local performers. Yid Vicious will be showering us with their semetic klezmer goodness; the Madison Maennerchor will perform "German classical and folk choral music" to whip the audience into a Teutonic frenzy; the Swiss Alphorns of nearby New Glarus will regale the crowds with their 12-foot Alphorns - listen for me yelling "Ricola!"; the Madison Chinese Cultural Association will dance "dances from various regions of China with spectacular costumes"; Tri Bratovchedki Singers will sing a variety of Eastern European folks songs. Plus there's lots more where these came from.
There will also be a similarly large number of folks offering crafts including Hmong Arts & Akarim African Experience. Near and dear to me will be the chance to learn more about Polish culture via the Madison Polish Heritage Club. To satiate your desire for tasty treats, there will be food aplenty. Let's see...we have Thai, Italian, Jamaican, and Native American. The folks from the Ojibwa Nation will be serving Indian fry bread and "Indian tacos". What the fuck is an Indian taco?! It sounds like some goofy name created to appeal to the stupid white man who can't handle a little Ojibwa on his ass. Well, I'll be sure try one to solve this tantalizing conundrum.
So be there or be a rhombus!
Musically, there's a plethora of local performers. Yid Vicious will be showering us with their semetic klezmer goodness; the Madison Maennerchor will perform "German classical and folk choral music" to whip the audience into a Teutonic frenzy; the Swiss Alphorns of nearby New Glarus will regale the crowds with their 12-foot Alphorns - listen for me yelling "Ricola!"; the Madison Chinese Cultural Association will dance "dances from various regions of China with spectacular costumes"; Tri Bratovchedki Singers will sing a variety of Eastern European folks songs. Plus there's lots more where these came from.
There will also be a similarly large number of folks offering crafts including Hmong Arts & Akarim African Experience. Near and dear to me will be the chance to learn more about Polish culture via the Madison Polish Heritage Club. To satiate your desire for tasty treats, there will be food aplenty. Let's see...we have Thai, Italian, Jamaican, and Native American. The folks from the Ojibwa Nation will be serving Indian fry bread and "Indian tacos". What the fuck is an Indian taco?! It sounds like some goofy name created to appeal to the stupid white man who can't handle a little Ojibwa on his ass. Well, I'll be sure try one to solve this tantalizing conundrum.
So be there or be a rhombus!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)