Sometime in the mid-1990s.
South central Wisconsin
A black sedan makes its way past the endless kalberwurst fields of Green County on Highway 69 and eventually pulls into the small southern Wisconsin town of New Glarus. The car's tinted windows draw some attention but the locals mainly shrug off the dark glass. Hans Luchsinger looks up from the alphorn he is tuning for just the briefest of moments as the town's newest visitors cruise by his shop before resuming his work.
"Must be some city slickers from Madison," theorizes Alfred Streissguth who is turning onto 69 on his way to the Glarner Stube as the mysterious car turns off of the state highway and onto County W.
The black sedan pulls into the parking lot of the still fairly new brewery, New Glarus Brewing Company. Taking the stall closest to the entrance, the front doors open simultaneously and the sound of yodeling is heard for a split second before the engine is shut off. Two figures, a man and a woman, exit the car clad in long black overcoats, their faces obscured by mirrored sunglasses.
The pair approach the front door and knock 3 times. No more, no less. Just 3 times. They can hear a bottle drop onto the floor and some indistinct profanity on the other side. After about 30 seconds the door is opened by a mustachioed man of slightly taller than average height who appears to be in his mid-30s. He wears lederhosen and a Tyrolean hat. His mustache has a small patch of white foam on it and the man quietly blurts, "Ope!" before hastily licking it away.
"H-Hello?" he asks hesitantly.
Simultaneously - almost mechanically - the visitors reach inside their coats and pull out ID.
"We're from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms. Are you Dan Carey?" they inquire.
"Yes, I am."
"May we come in?"
"Sure." Dan leads them past empty barrels and stacks of bottles ready to be filled to the brewery's break area which is a small room with only a couple tables with chairs and a vending machine that dispenses Swiss cheese sticks and Landjäger. The woman glances into the vending machine and notices all of the holes in the cheese. She decides that the sticks are not a good value.
The government agents stare at Dan who could only see his reflection in their sunglasses when he looked back. Eventually he gets the hint and sits down. His interlocutors remain standing.
The woman methodically pulls her coat open and Dan's heart skips a beat as he sees a shoulder holster containing a pistol. However, the agent instead sticks her hand into an inside pocket and proceeds to pull out a bottle of beer. New Glarus beer.
"Is this your beer, Mr. Carey?"
Dan looks at the bottle which had a deep blue label that proudly proclaims "New Glarus Brewing Co." above "Coffee Stout".
"Yes, that's my beer," he replies with more than little pride.
The agents turn to look at one another in unison, as if their movements were mechanically synchronized. Smiles of the "We got the bad guy!" kind appear on their faces.
This time the man spoke. "Mr. Carey, did you know this beer is illegal?"
"Oh jeez! It's just beer. With coffee."
"Just beer," the woman repeated mockingly. "Just beer, he says."
Her partner smirked and continued, "Mr. Carey, coffee is not an approved ingredient in beer. The government cannot allow unregulated admixtures of alcohol and caffeine to be thrust upon an unsuspecting public. You're going to have to come with us."
"What?!" Dan pleaded incredulously.
Dan Carey was never seen again. His disappearance is listed as "Unexplained" in the gevernment files.
Afterwords:
Not too long after Dan Carey's disappearance, coffee became an approved ingredient in beer.
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It's been a while since I've had a Pearl Street Brewery brew. I think of them as one of the breweries that time forgot. They've just melted into the background and become part of Wisconsin's craft brewing scenery. Like Tyranena, to my mind.
I don't mean to demean here because I like their beer. It's just that they're not trendy. People don't seem to be waiting with bated breath for their new IPA or any such thing. Pearl Street is a stalwart, not a trendsetter and that's fine by me.
And thanks to the sacrifices of Dan Carey and the folks in New Glarus, Pearl Street and anyone else who cares to can brew and sell a coffee beer. And they do. For the venerable La Crosse brewery it's Java Lava, a coffee stout. The earliest mention I could find of it dates to 2011 and it gave me the impression that it wasn't brand-spanking new but not a veteran brew either. Perhaps it was a brewery-only thing at that point, soon to be bottled. Today it is looks to be one of their flagship brews and available year-round.
Coffee beers are generally like cocktails in that you mix them. You brew some beer and then brew some coffee and mix them together. As a fan of coffee, I'd love it if brewers gave more info about the coffees they use in these kinds of beers. Light roasts taste different than darker ones. I personally prefer African coffees above others because I find that they have an especially tasty terroir. Maybe someday some brewery will do a series of coffee beers with various roasts of various coffees. How would a stout made with lightly-roasted Ethiopian coffee tasty compared to one brewed with a darker roast of the same beans?
Pearl Street notes that Java Lava is brewed with Guatemalan coffee but doesn't note the roast.
Regardless, this stuff looked like motor oil as it poured into my glass. It's about as Stygian a brown you can find. A small, frothy tan head looked very nice but lasted just long enough for me to get a photo of the last of it before it was all gone. Clarity was impossible to determine at first but it later proved to be clear. I smelled a slightly sweet plum scent, some dark chocolate, roasted grain, and, of course, coffee.
On my first sip, I caught a good, firm fizziness and a medium to medium-lightish body. There was delicious coffee flavor to be tasted as well as a bit of mild dark chocolate and roasted grain. Although a malty sweetness grew as the beer warmed, it remained restrained. There was also some bitterness to be had with some of it coming from the coffee and the rest from hops.
That tastilicious coffee lingered after I swallowed and a bracing herbal-spicy hoppiness washed over my tongue. And so the finishing touches were a bit dry and bitter but nothing outrageous. Just a nice green kind of flavor to stand in contrast to all of the dark, roasty flavors and that malt sweetness.
I really enjoyed Java Lava. It was a glassful of wonderful roasty flavors and positively gluttonous for someone like me who enjoys coffee and beer. I think the Guatemalan coffee added a fruity tasting brightness to the flavor that complemented the bitterness. It was sprightly and kind of sharp, overall. Good stuff.
Junk food pairing: Grab a can of Koh-Kae peanuts with the coffee flavor coating. They'll add a little sweetness and creaminess to round things off.
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