Brats for breakfast

Yesterday my ladyfriend brought over brats for breakfast, the early start to Bratfest for we wage slaves.

I put mustard and pickles that my boss made on mine. A fine way to start my workday.

Spreading the gospel

Here in Madison Memorial Day weekend means Bratfest while in Chicago it's about hot dogs. We are united by a common love of sausages. No ketchup!

A Wurst by Any Other Name

The sun was just above the horizon when I arrived at the hotel. It was a Saturday morning and normally I'd be relaxing at home with a cup of coffee but the siren call of kielbasa lured me to the far west side for the annual convention of the Wisconsin Association of Meat Processors where I'd be a judge in the product competition. Along with the Wisconsin Film Festival, the WAMP convention is a sure sign of spring for me.

It had been a couple two tree years since I'd been a judge and I was looking forward to sampling processed meats from across the state. Theoretically the most skilled sausage stuffers, the masters of curing, and the demiurges of dehydrating would all have their best works on offer. Sadly my friend Ed, who got me into this whole rigamarole, would not be there as he had family obligations. A shame as the WAMP convention is the only time I get to see him these days. He's a grandfather now and so he has new non-processed meat responsibilites.

A few days previously we received an email detailing the categories we'd be judging and whom we'd be paired with. My jaws quivered in anticipation as I read the message and I breathed a huge sigh of relief after seeing that I was not assigned whole muscle jerky duty. Chewing through two samples is enough to make my jaws ache for 24 hours much less 20 samples.

This year I'd be judging Bratwurst - Specialty (Cooked & Uncured) and Kielbasa/Polish sausage, fairly easy products to deal with as you don't need to throw them on a slicer or use a hacksaw to get through bone.

After introductory remarks and a briefing from Jeff Sindelar, a UW-Madison professor of meat science and organizer of the competition, we headed to the room where the entrants lay. And the dashing lab coats.

Here's what my fellow judge and I found awaiting us:

There were many fewer entrants than in the pre-Covid days but Jeff noted that, overall, the competition had more product than any year since Covid landed back in 2020. We had 15-20 products in each of our categories this year whereas we'd be at 30+ back in the teens. Not a problem as I don't need the extra salt in my diet.

We began with Bratwurst - Specialty (Cooked & Uncured).

There were three rounds of judging for each product. For the first we looked at external appearance. Was the casing filled all the way? Were there any air or fat pockets? Was the shape of the wursts consistent? That kind of thing.

Then we sliced one of the links lengthwise and judged the interior appearance.

Were there air pockets? Were the ingredients evenly distributed? Etc., etc.

I think every product in this category had cheese in it. Cheese along with some kind of chili was the most common variation. There were a couple jalapeño cheddar varieties and a couple with names that didn't really explain what the taste would be like. I think one was called "Badger Triple Threat" or some such thing. One of the jalapeño cheddar sausages did not mess around and was very spicy hot. Now that I think about it, we didn't check off "Too spicy" on the sheet as we both really liked the heat but I suppose for the palate of the teeming masses, this was very, very spicy stuff.

The sausages above on the left were green olive, blue cheese, and something something which made for a welcome change from the cheese'n'chili monotony.

There is a large element of personal taste involved in all of this as well as rules and guidelines. How prominent should the flavors of chilies or cheese or beer or olives be in a bratwurst? If you cannot taste the peppers, black & white, nor any nutmeg because your tongue is consumed with capsaicin or cheese, is this alright? It's still a wurst but is it a bratwurst?

Oddly enough, the olives were barely perceptible in those green olive brats. And the potatoes and onions in the potato and onion brats were barely cooked. I give them points for at least putting neither cheese nor chilies in 'em.

With the brats being done, we took a break for lunch. We chatted as we ate and I discovered that my fellow judge used to work for my pal Ed who got me into this whole judging thing. Small world. After lunch we turned our attention to kielbasa. This would be a much simpler category to judge as it was smoked Polish sausage and nothing but smoked Polish sausage.

As were inspecting exterior appearance, we came across one entrant that had the texture of jelly. We were both curious about this sausage and were anxious to cut it open. When the time arrived for the slicing, I had visions of a little xenomorph popping out like in Alien. Instead we found that it was simply not fully cooked.

This one would have to be disqualified and Prof. Sindelar came over and did the deed on the grading sheet.

Some of the entrants lacked a garlic taste, which I found odd, but even stranger was one that tasted like a hot dog with what tasted like that coriander-pepper combo.

Here are the talliers tallying our kielbasa scores:

With our judging finished, I took some time to look at the other products.

Bacon! Slabs as far as the eye could see.

This one was new to me: bratwurst Wellington. I was told that it was pretty good.

Head cheese aplenty.

Not sure what this was. Looks like the bacon rolls I find at Polish delis in Chicago.

Chicken blueberry mozarella sticks?!

Another year of processed meat gluttony. We had fun too, though. As I left the hall clutching my gift cooler, I could feel all that salt pulsing through my veins and wondered if I'd be accosted by a deer's tongue on my way to my car.

The gift pack's contents featured winning products from last year:

Bacon! I am looking forward to trying out that cherry BBQ rub. A friend has a grill to give me - I just need to head over to his place to grab it.

Aldo Leopold Invented a Bench?!

Until this summer I didn't know that famed environmentalist, UW-Madison professor, and denizen of Sauk County Aldo Leopold invented a type of bench which now bears his name. About a month ago a friend and I built one and it turned out pretty well.



I remember that most angles were cut at 60 degrees and that I moved my hand in the nick of time at one point to avoid a drill bit. It now sits in my friend's backyard in front of his chimenea. Why he does not invite me over to drink his beer and sit in front of a fire is a mystery.

That same day we smoked some brats.



Well, the duty was handed over to me so I smoked some brats. It was my first time smoking anything and I had an offset smoker at my disposal along with some hickory and charcoal. It was a good learning experience. The wurst turned out well with the cherry brats a real stand out with pork, smoke, spices, and cherry all vying for attention on the tongue. Jim's Meat Market is a fine purveyor of brats as well as other meats. Chicken wings are probably next.