The BBC series Torchwood, a Doctor Who spin-off, has started filming. It features John Barrowman reprising his role as Captain Jack Harkness who first appeared in last season's Doctor Who episode "The Empty Child" which aired here in the States last Friday on the Sci-Fi Channel. In this season's Doctor Who episode, "Tooth and Claw", we witness Queen Victoria establishing the Torchwood Institute, in part, to ensure that The Doctor never returns to hassle humanity again.
Harkness and his pulchritudinous partner, Gwen Cooper, are charged by the British government to investigate crimes as well as alien technology on the sly, meaning that the United Nations is not to know of their pursuits. Perhaps a Torchwood-UNIT showdown in the future? You can keep up with production at the wonderful Torchwood.TV blog.
The Sci-Fi Channel recently announced the list of projects in development and it included one called "Persons Unknown":
From Academy Award-winning writer Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects), who executive produces with Heather McQuarrie, Persons Unknown is a surreal mind-game of a series centering on a group of strangers who awaken in a deserted town with no memory of how they arrived, only to realize that there is no escape. Watched by omnipresent security cameras, their every attempt at leaving the town's borders is thwarted by mysterious forces. The only source of information is fed randomly through remotely controlled televisions, and as mistrust begins to breed, every alliance will be tested, especially when new guests begin to arrive. Persons Unknown is from Fox Television Studios.
Gee, that doesn't sound like The Prisoner, does it?
Finally, go check out Tom Baker Says. Baker, who played the 4th Doctor, now lends his voice to British Telecom. I guess he recorded various words and phenomes and now BT offers a service whereby users can text message something to BT and get a voice mail with Baker saying the message. This situation lends itself well to mayhem and the site has recordings of Baker telling jokes, quoting films, singing, as well as doing his Barry White imitation.
08 May, 2006
Next Week Is American Craft Beer Week
The Dulcinea pointed this out to me and is trying to get me to play hookie from work to be her drunk driver.
May 15-21 is American Craft Beer Week. In addition to just enjoying craft beers generally, there's also a tour to be had. Start by getting your Great American Beer Tour Passport (PDF). Then go to participating breweries, have a pint, and then get the passport stamped. Each stamp gets you a point (2 if the establishement is a member of the Brewers Association) and, if you get enough points, you can get a prize such as a pint glass or a shirt.
For folks in the Madison area, here are the closest destinations for your itinerary:
Great Dane - Fitchburg & Madison
Gray's (Tour @ 1:30 Sat 5/20) - Janesville
Huber - Monroe
New Glarus - New Glarus
Tryanena - Lake Mills
Capital - Middleton
Ale Asylum - Madison
Esser's - Cross Plains
Grumpy Troll - Mount Horeb
Lake Louie - Arena
Since The Dulcinea and I will be in Milwaukee on Saturday, we might get the chance to have our passports stamped there as well. I'm aiming for the funky pint glasses.
May 15-21 is American Craft Beer Week. In addition to just enjoying craft beers generally, there's also a tour to be had. Start by getting your Great American Beer Tour Passport (PDF). Then go to participating breweries, have a pint, and then get the passport stamped. Each stamp gets you a point (2 if the establishement is a member of the Brewers Association) and, if you get enough points, you can get a prize such as a pint glass or a shirt.
For folks in the Madison area, here are the closest destinations for your itinerary:
Great Dane - Fitchburg & Madison
Gray's (Tour @ 1:30 Sat 5/20) - Janesville
Huber - Monroe
New Glarus - New Glarus
Tryanena - Lake Mills
Capital - Middleton
Ale Asylum - Madison
Esser's - Cross Plains
Grumpy Troll - Mount Horeb
Lake Louie - Arena
Since The Dulcinea and I will be in Milwaukee on Saturday, we might get the chance to have our passports stamped there as well. I'm aiming for the funky pint glasses.
07 May, 2006
Happy Ten Amendments Day!
Support separation of church & state during what's left of today by celebrating Ten Amendments Day. It's a secular response to the Ten Commandments Day, a day for Christians to contemplate turning America into a theocracy. So, instead, be thankful for our secular government. Here's The Bill of Rights for your perusal.
Amendment I
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
The Land of the Mound-Builders
With my marmalade making done, I got ready to spend the day in Lake Mills with The Dulcinea and Charles. We left in the early afternoon planning to catch a bite to eat there and then catch a 3:30 tour of the Tyranena Brewery. Oddly enough, I'd never been to Lake Mills previously so it would be a double treat.
It was a lovely day and the drive there was a snap. We rolled into downtown and parked on the perimeter of the park that sits in the center of town. Having no idea where to eat, we just wandered around for a spell.
There was a war memorial there. It was small and simple yet its location was peaceful and, dare I say, conducive to comtemplation.
The place reminded me a bit of Orton Park here in Madison with its gazebo.
"You see a gazebo…" hehe There were some kids in the gazebo holding signs advertising the brat sale at the Sentry grocery market across the street. We traipsed around a bit more before settling on Café on the Park for lunch.
As you can see, the joint was decked out in all things Coca-Cola. Even the tanks of the toilets in the restrooms had these Coke doily hoolies on them. Despite having the words "Coca Cola" plastered everywhere, Charles still managed to order a Pepsi much to the waitresses amusement. "Will a Coke do?" Wanting a good base for drinking, I got a bowl of cream of potato soup along with my sandwich & fries. While the waitress warned us that it would be thick, I wasn't quite prepared for just how viscous this stuff was.
I mean this stuff was just slightly thinner than mashed potatoes. The food was good overall and the chocolate malt I had was exceptionally chocolatey – just the way I like it. There were these tins on a shelf at each table and I opened ours up to find that compacted inside were notes that people had scrawled on napkins.
I never would have thought that there'd be a picture of Anubis in there. With lunch being done and some time to blow before heading to the brewery, we cruised around the town which had some really neat old buildings. For instance, here's the public library.
We also found this old church which seemed to be inhabited by a group of bohemian/artist types which was for sale. It was absolutely gorgeous and had vines growing all over it which gave it this vaguely Lovecraftian feel. To my mind, anyway.
There was even a little gargoyle in the garden.
At some point we jumped back into the car and headed to the brewery. We arrived only to find that the door was still locked. Walking around the building to the beer garden, we found a few people there and were told by the brewmaster himself that we were early. He recommended that we check out the lake. And so we did.
Lake Mills has a wonderful history that pre-dates its settlement by us white folk. First of all there is Aztalan State Park. The park was once home to a Middle-Mississippian village between 1000-1300 B.C.E. and there are large pyramidal mounds there. Robert Bellingham and Lynne Goldstein have been studying the area for years and recently published a book about it called Aztalan: Mysteries of an Ancient Indian Town. I'd originally planned to walk around the park but, due to a toe injury, the plan was thwarted.
Rock Lake is also in Lake Mills and it too has a history. Back in 1900, a couple residents, the Wilson brothers, spot weird structures in the water while they were out duck hunting. Little do these men know that the first white settlers in the area some 70 years previously saw them protruding out of the water. Back in the 1830s, the local Native Americans told the white men of the "rock tepees" in the lake built by "ancient foreigners". When a nearby dam was built in the 1850s, the structures became completely submerged. A timeline of the lake can be found at the Rock Lake Research Society's webpage. But what the Wilson brothers saw that day were the stone pyramids the lurk beneath the waters of Rock Lake.
The park we went to was really nice. There was lakeshore access and scores of trails to wander. Plus the trees even had handy labels on them.
As the time neared three o'clock, we got back into the car and returned to the brewery. I was ready for a beer.
It was a lovely day and the drive there was a snap. We rolled into downtown and parked on the perimeter of the park that sits in the center of town. Having no idea where to eat, we just wandered around for a spell.
There was a war memorial there. It was small and simple yet its location was peaceful and, dare I say, conducive to comtemplation.
The place reminded me a bit of Orton Park here in Madison with its gazebo.
"You see a gazebo…" hehe There were some kids in the gazebo holding signs advertising the brat sale at the Sentry grocery market across the street. We traipsed around a bit more before settling on Café on the Park for lunch.
As you can see, the joint was decked out in all things Coca-Cola. Even the tanks of the toilets in the restrooms had these Coke doily hoolies on them. Despite having the words "Coca Cola" plastered everywhere, Charles still managed to order a Pepsi much to the waitresses amusement. "Will a Coke do?" Wanting a good base for drinking, I got a bowl of cream of potato soup along with my sandwich & fries. While the waitress warned us that it would be thick, I wasn't quite prepared for just how viscous this stuff was.
I mean this stuff was just slightly thinner than mashed potatoes. The food was good overall and the chocolate malt I had was exceptionally chocolatey – just the way I like it. There were these tins on a shelf at each table and I opened ours up to find that compacted inside were notes that people had scrawled on napkins.
I never would have thought that there'd be a picture of Anubis in there. With lunch being done and some time to blow before heading to the brewery, we cruised around the town which had some really neat old buildings. For instance, here's the public library.
We also found this old church which seemed to be inhabited by a group of bohemian/artist types which was for sale. It was absolutely gorgeous and had vines growing all over it which gave it this vaguely Lovecraftian feel. To my mind, anyway.
There was even a little gargoyle in the garden.
At some point we jumped back into the car and headed to the brewery. We arrived only to find that the door was still locked. Walking around the building to the beer garden, we found a few people there and were told by the brewmaster himself that we were early. He recommended that we check out the lake. And so we did.
Lake Mills has a wonderful history that pre-dates its settlement by us white folk. First of all there is Aztalan State Park. The park was once home to a Middle-Mississippian village between 1000-1300 B.C.E. and there are large pyramidal mounds there. Robert Bellingham and Lynne Goldstein have been studying the area for years and recently published a book about it called Aztalan: Mysteries of an Ancient Indian Town. I'd originally planned to walk around the park but, due to a toe injury, the plan was thwarted.
Rock Lake is also in Lake Mills and it too has a history. Back in 1900, a couple residents, the Wilson brothers, spot weird structures in the water while they were out duck hunting. Little do these men know that the first white settlers in the area some 70 years previously saw them protruding out of the water. Back in the 1830s, the local Native Americans told the white men of the "rock tepees" in the lake built by "ancient foreigners". When a nearby dam was built in the 1850s, the structures became completely submerged. A timeline of the lake can be found at the Rock Lake Research Society's webpage. But what the Wilson brothers saw that day were the stone pyramids the lurk beneath the waters of Rock Lake.
The park we went to was really nice. There was lakeshore access and scores of trails to wander. Plus the trees even had handy labels on them.
As the time neared three o'clock, we got back into the car and returned to the brewery. I was ready for a beer.
Saturday Morning Marmalade Putting Up
On Saturday morning I finally got around to dealing with that trio of quinces that I had bought in Chicago over Easter weekend. Now, kids these days are into retro. The 1970s seems to be in, for some ungodly reason. And, no doubt, once the Miami Vice movie hits theaters, we'll see the 80s make a comeback too with the aid of VH1. I'm a retro kinda guy too, it's just that when going retro, why mess around? And so I went back to the 80s for this recipe – the 1680s.
To make red Marmalade of Quinces, take a pound of Quinces and cut them in half, and take out the cores, and pare them; then take a pound of Sugar, and a quart of fair water, and put them all into a pan, and let them boyl with a soft fire, and sometimes turn and keep them covered with a pewter dish, so that the steam or air may come a little out: the longer they are in boyling, the better colour they will have: and when they be soft take a Knife, and cut them cross upon the top, it will make the syrup go through that they may be all of the like colour: then set a little of your syrup to cool, and when it beginneth to be thick, then break your Quinces with a slice or spoon, so small as you can in the pan, and then strew a little fine Sugar in your boxes bottom, and so put it up.
There's my trio of quinces. I'd never worked with them before, only eaten them. The first thing you do is peel them and then you cut them into tiny pieces. The peeling bit was a breeze but the cutting part was a real bitch. The flesh of the fruit is nice and firm but the area in the center around the seeds metastasizes somewhere along the way into titanium. Holy bejeezus! I had to hack at it to remove the tough section. And these things brown about 3 times quicker than apples so I had to quickly get a hoolie of water to store them in. Once I had them chopped into little pieces, I put them in a baking dish with some water and sugar which was swiftly put into the oven for a bit over an hour.
Nothin' says lovin' like quinces from the oven!
When the bits were nice & soft, I pulled them out and drained them. Next step was to mash them really good. And then throw the mash into a pot along with the liquid that was drained off.
Bring the stuff to a boil and then simmer the mush until it's thick. Then put it up in jars and let it cool.
Quinces are a super-high pectin fruit so, once the stuff cools, it sets just fine on its own. I had some this morning on toast and it was quite tasty. I suppose this marmalade-making venture is sort of a canning prelude for later this summer when our garden starts to yield its fruits. At the moment, our garden can be found out on the deck.
Stevie built these coffin-like mini-greenhouse hoolies. They're really slick. There are heating coils in them to keep our precious seedlings toasty warm during these chilly Wisconsin spring nights.
In addition to copious amounts of flowers, we'll have strawberries, 3 or 4 kinds of hot peppers, Bell peppers, tomatoes, broccoli, and other things that I cannot recall as it's been a couple months since we went through the seed catalog.
To make red Marmalade of Quinces, take a pound of Quinces and cut them in half, and take out the cores, and pare them; then take a pound of Sugar, and a quart of fair water, and put them all into a pan, and let them boyl with a soft fire, and sometimes turn and keep them covered with a pewter dish, so that the steam or air may come a little out: the longer they are in boyling, the better colour they will have: and when they be soft take a Knife, and cut them cross upon the top, it will make the syrup go through that they may be all of the like colour: then set a little of your syrup to cool, and when it beginneth to be thick, then break your Quinces with a slice or spoon, so small as you can in the pan, and then strew a little fine Sugar in your boxes bottom, and so put it up.
There's my trio of quinces. I'd never worked with them before, only eaten them. The first thing you do is peel them and then you cut them into tiny pieces. The peeling bit was a breeze but the cutting part was a real bitch. The flesh of the fruit is nice and firm but the area in the center around the seeds metastasizes somewhere along the way into titanium. Holy bejeezus! I had to hack at it to remove the tough section. And these things brown about 3 times quicker than apples so I had to quickly get a hoolie of water to store them in. Once I had them chopped into little pieces, I put them in a baking dish with some water and sugar which was swiftly put into the oven for a bit over an hour.
Nothin' says lovin' like quinces from the oven!
When the bits were nice & soft, I pulled them out and drained them. Next step was to mash them really good. And then throw the mash into a pot along with the liquid that was drained off.
Bring the stuff to a boil and then simmer the mush until it's thick. Then put it up in jars and let it cool.
Quinces are a super-high pectin fruit so, once the stuff cools, it sets just fine on its own. I had some this morning on toast and it was quite tasty. I suppose this marmalade-making venture is sort of a canning prelude for later this summer when our garden starts to yield its fruits. At the moment, our garden can be found out on the deck.
Stevie built these coffin-like mini-greenhouse hoolies. They're really slick. There are heating coils in them to keep our precious seedlings toasty warm during these chilly Wisconsin spring nights.
In addition to copious amounts of flowers, we'll have strawberries, 3 or 4 kinds of hot peppers, Bell peppers, tomatoes, broccoli, and other things that I cannot recall as it's been a couple months since we went through the seed catalog.
06 May, 2006
National Homebrewers Day
Happy National Homebrewers Day!
To celebrate you can attend the 19th Annual Big & Huge Homebrew Competition over at the not-quite open Ale Asylum. It's sponsored by the Madison Homebrewers and Tasters Guild.
If you don't know a homebrewer upon whom you can shower love and whose beer you can drink, go find a microbrew. I'm sure most brewers at micropubs and microbreweries started off as a homebrewers.
To celebrate you can attend the 19th Annual Big & Huge Homebrew Competition over at the not-quite open Ale Asylum. It's sponsored by the Madison Homebrewers and Tasters Guild.
If you don't know a homebrewer upon whom you can shower love and whose beer you can drink, go find a microbrew. I'm sure most brewers at micropubs and microbreweries started off as a homebrewers.
Free Comic Book Day
Happy Free Comic Book Day!
Here in town, head on over to Capital City Comics or Westfield Comics for free comic books. I was told that this is an event to promote the reading of comic books. Most publishers tend to give away anthologies of popular comics while one may actually print something new & original for the occasion.
Here in town, head on over to Capital City Comics or Westfield Comics for free comic books. I was told that this is an event to promote the reading of comic books. Most publishers tend to give away anthologies of popular comics while one may actually print something new & original for the occasion.
05 May, 2006
Buckystein
Fans of cheesy horror flicks can finally buy local. Buckystein will be showing at the Barrymore Theater on the 13th. It was made by fellow Madisonian Geoff Lafayette and was shot entirely here in town with locals on the cheap.
Check out the preview by Isthmus.
It's about Dr. Henry Frankenstein, a mad UW scientist ("I'm mad, but maybe I am mad!") who regenerates a roadkilled badger with the help of a hamburger from Union South.
"I need 20 ccs of VQ97!" exclaims Frankenstein, in a typical line. "I'm alive!" declares his handiwork, in another. Of course, the creature's grotesque disfigurement comes as a surprise. "I used fresh stem cells," Frankenstein insists.
The in-jokes are hilarious, from the open-minded housing co-op residents who gamely take the monster in ("We accept you for who you are!"), to the conservative protesters sporting signs like "Keep your liberal ideas away from my guns." And when the Act Out! bicyclists who inanely block traffic are being slaughtered, a harried mom yells at one for getting blood on her minivan: "I just got it washed!"
Check out the preview by Isthmus.
It's about Dr. Henry Frankenstein, a mad UW scientist ("I'm mad, but maybe I am mad!") who regenerates a roadkilled badger with the help of a hamburger from Union South.
"I need 20 ccs of VQ97!" exclaims Frankenstein, in a typical line. "I'm alive!" declares his handiwork, in another. Of course, the creature's grotesque disfigurement comes as a surprise. "I used fresh stem cells," Frankenstein insists.
The in-jokes are hilarious, from the open-minded housing co-op residents who gamely take the monster in ("We accept you for who you are!"), to the conservative protesters sporting signs like "Keep your liberal ideas away from my guns." And when the Act Out! bicyclists who inanely block traffic are being slaughtered, a harried mom yells at one for getting blood on her minivan: "I just got it washed!"
Christopher Eccleston is the new Number Six
Christopher Eccleston, who played the nignth Doctor in Doctor Who last year will be Number Six in the revival of The Prisoner.
HE REVIVED Doctor Who, but now Christopher Eccleston is set to take on another television hero with the starring role in a remake of The Prisoner.
The 1967 series, starring Patrick McGoohan as a former secret agent who was kidnapped and imprisoned in a mystery village, baffled millions of viewers around the world.
The new version, made by Granada for Sky One, will incorporate the paranoia, conspiracy theories and hi-tech action sequences of modern-day spy dramas 24 and Spooks.
Eccleston, who quit Doctor Who after last year’s hit revival, told the producers that it had long been his ambition to play Number Six, whose escape attempts are constantly thwarted by sinister forces.
Hollywood stars have also pitched for the role but discussions with Eccleston are at an advanced stage, according to production sources.
However, the Welsh tourist “village” of Portmeirion, where the original ATV show was filmed, will be replaced by a more exotic foreign location, probably outraging fans of the original.
Well, I'll give the remake a shot but I'm not overly hopeful that it'll retain the goofy, enigmatic feel of the original. The Rovers had better be cool, yet cheesy!
HE REVIVED Doctor Who, but now Christopher Eccleston is set to take on another television hero with the starring role in a remake of The Prisoner.
The 1967 series, starring Patrick McGoohan as a former secret agent who was kidnapped and imprisoned in a mystery village, baffled millions of viewers around the world.
The new version, made by Granada for Sky One, will incorporate the paranoia, conspiracy theories and hi-tech action sequences of modern-day spy dramas 24 and Spooks.
Eccleston, who quit Doctor Who after last year’s hit revival, told the producers that it had long been his ambition to play Number Six, whose escape attempts are constantly thwarted by sinister forces.
Hollywood stars have also pitched for the role but discussions with Eccleston are at an advanced stage, according to production sources.
However, the Welsh tourist “village” of Portmeirion, where the original ATV show was filmed, will be replaced by a more exotic foreign location, probably outraging fans of the original.
Well, I'll give the remake a shot but I'm not overly hopeful that it'll retain the goofy, enigmatic feel of the original. The Rovers had better be cool, yet cheesy!
en Español
Ed Brayton has a good post today about the big right-wing hoo-ha over the singing of our national anthem en Español.
Okay, this tempest in a teapot over the national anthem being sung in English is absolutely killing me. A Spanish language version of the national anthem was released a few days ago by a British music producer. That sparks protests by right wing bloggers, for some bizarre reason. Seeking desperately to win the jingo vote back, President Bush bravely stands up and says that he is opposed to singing the national anthem in Spanish because, he says, "One of the important things here is that we not lose our national soul."
Then it comes out that, during his campaign for the presidency in 2000, Bush actively campaigned among Hispanic groups and sang the national anthem himself in Spanish many times and that at his inauguration in 2000, he had singer Jon Secada sing "America the Beautiful" in Spanish. And where did they get the words for that scurrilous attempt to destroy our "national soul" by daring to sing the national anthem in Spanish? Maybe from the US State Department website.
He also has some unkind words for Laura Bush so go read the whole post.
Okay, this tempest in a teapot over the national anthem being sung in English is absolutely killing me. A Spanish language version of the national anthem was released a few days ago by a British music producer. That sparks protests by right wing bloggers, for some bizarre reason. Seeking desperately to win the jingo vote back, President Bush bravely stands up and says that he is opposed to singing the national anthem in Spanish because, he says, "One of the important things here is that we not lose our national soul."
Then it comes out that, during his campaign for the presidency in 2000, Bush actively campaigned among Hispanic groups and sang the national anthem himself in Spanish many times and that at his inauguration in 2000, he had singer Jon Secada sing "America the Beautiful" in Spanish. And where did they get the words for that scurrilous attempt to destroy our "national soul" by daring to sing the national anthem in Spanish? Maybe from the US State Department website.
He also has some unkind words for Laura Bush so go read the whole post.
04 May, 2006
Methinks Ein Rauchbier Ist In Order
Not only does May herald a day of onanistic recognition, as I wrote yesterday, but I have discovered that the first Saturday in May is National Homebrew Day. In order to celebrate, I'm planning on a trip out to Lake Mills to visit the Tyranena Brewery. And now onto my plea.
Somebody donate $700 to me so I can go back to school. I am keen on taking the Professional Beer Tasting & Styles course at the Siebel Institute in Chicago. It's a 2-day affair that gives learners "a solid foundation of beer knowledge, with a special emphasis on beer styles and tasting." I'm getting thirsty just looking at the syllabus! Just look:
Section 7 - Ales of the United Kingdom
The Pale Ale Family: Bitter, ESB, Pale, IPA
Brown & Mild Ale
Scottish and Scotch Ales
Porter
Stout
Old & Strong Ales
Barley Wine
New British Styles
Section 8 - Lager
The classic styles of Europe: Germany & Czech Republic
Pilsner
Helles
Märzen/Vienna/Oktoberfest
Alt & Kölsch
Munich Dunkel
Maibock & Bock
Weisse & Weizen
American Lagers & Related Styles
American Adjunct Pilsner
Classic Prepro Pilsner
Cream Ale
Steam Beer
Section 9 - European Ales
Düsseldorfer Altbier
Kölsch
Section 10 - Belgium & France
Trappist & Abbey Ales
Strong Ale
Saisons
French Bière de Garde
Witbier
Artistic Beers
Lambic
Sour Brown & Red Beers
Belgian Fruit Beers
Section 11 - New American Classics
Amber & Red Ales
American Pale/IPA
Hyper-Hoppy Imperials
Barrel-Aged Ales
Super-Strong Beers
Fruit, Spice & Vegetable Beers
Please hurry with the donations so I can get into the 7-8 September session.
While I'm on the topic, the latest issue of Great Lakes Brewing News has several articles on rauchbier, a.k.a. - smoked beer. The lead piece profiles the German city of Bamberg and it is a beer lover's paradise. Saying that the city has a strong brewing tradition is like saying that Madisonians like Badger football a lot. I mean the Bambergians don't fuck around.
Over 100 breweries are located in a 40 km radius around Bamberg, a density found nowhere else in the world.
Bamberg is the home of Weyermann Specialty Malting Company. In 1879, Johann Baptist Weyermann founded a factory for malt coffee in downtown Bramberg, along the Regnitz River. Today, Weyermann's family tradition of quality and expertise has evolved into the largest specialty malting company in the world. Over one third of their annual production is specialty malts. Weyermann produces over 60 products shipped to over 70 countries on four continents. One of their most distinctive products is Beechwood smoked malt, or Rauchmaltz.
The article then goes into a little bit of history. It describes how, say about 2,500 years ago, early brewers stopped drying the malt in the sun and instead dried the stuff over an open flame. Thusly basically all beers were smoked beers at one time.
It appears that all beers at some point had a certain amount of smoke. By the mid-19th century, however, smoke free, controlled air kiln drying removed the smoke taste and eventually smoke malt all but disappeared. Smoke flavors in beer began to be considered offensive and regarded as off-flavors.
Who knew?
To the best of my knowledge, the only Wisconsin brewer that makes rauchbier is J.T. Whitney's here in Madtown who have a smoked ale on tap. Anyone know differently?
The stash of tickets for the Great Taste of the Midwest here in Madison sold out quite quickly. Something like 70 minutes, I hear. I recally seeing a line of people in camping chairs outside of Star Liquor when I was driving home on Monday. If you can't make it, fret not because there's other drinking opportunities to be had.
The First Annual Oregon Micro Brew Fest is going to be on 13 May at the Bergamont Golf Club in Oregon. (If anyone is confused, I'm talking about Oregon, WI.) From 1-6, you'll be able to sample from 80 different beers from 20 brewers.
On Monday the 8th, there will be a brewer's dinner at Serendipity in Cambridge.
Robert Hughes, proprietor and chef of Serendipity Restaurant in Cambridge, is planning a very special five-course meal... because each course will be paired with a different beer from Tyranena Brewing Company! The menu is still being developed, but we'll give you all the details as they become available. The cost will be $45.00 per plate which includes the aforementioned gourmet, 5-course meal as well as a sampling of 5 Tyranena beers. You can make your reservations by calling 608-423-4902. The Brewer's Dinner will begin at 7:00 pm. And... Rob will actually be there! He might even speak about brewing a little bit... but hopefully not with his mouth full!
Tonight I am meeting a friend over at Westgate to see a film. I want to stop at Westfield Comics to pick up some stuff and now I'm thinking a stop in at J.T. Whitney's for a rauchbier is in order.
Somebody donate $700 to me so I can go back to school. I am keen on taking the Professional Beer Tasting & Styles course at the Siebel Institute in Chicago. It's a 2-day affair that gives learners "a solid foundation of beer knowledge, with a special emphasis on beer styles and tasting." I'm getting thirsty just looking at the syllabus! Just look:
Section 7 - Ales of the United Kingdom
The Pale Ale Family: Bitter, ESB, Pale, IPA
Brown & Mild Ale
Scottish and Scotch Ales
Porter
Stout
Old & Strong Ales
Barley Wine
New British Styles
Section 8 - Lager
The classic styles of Europe: Germany & Czech Republic
Pilsner
Helles
Märzen/Vienna/Oktoberfest
Alt & Kölsch
Munich Dunkel
Maibock & Bock
Weisse & Weizen
American Lagers & Related Styles
American Adjunct Pilsner
Classic Prepro Pilsner
Cream Ale
Steam Beer
Section 9 - European Ales
Düsseldorfer Altbier
Kölsch
Section 10 - Belgium & France
Trappist & Abbey Ales
Strong Ale
Saisons
French Bière de Garde
Witbier
Artistic Beers
Lambic
Sour Brown & Red Beers
Belgian Fruit Beers
Section 11 - New American Classics
Amber & Red Ales
American Pale/IPA
Hyper-Hoppy Imperials
Barrel-Aged Ales
Super-Strong Beers
Fruit, Spice & Vegetable Beers
Please hurry with the donations so I can get into the 7-8 September session.
While I'm on the topic, the latest issue of Great Lakes Brewing News has several articles on rauchbier, a.k.a. - smoked beer. The lead piece profiles the German city of Bamberg and it is a beer lover's paradise. Saying that the city has a strong brewing tradition is like saying that Madisonians like Badger football a lot. I mean the Bambergians don't fuck around.
Over 100 breweries are located in a 40 km radius around Bamberg, a density found nowhere else in the world.
Bamberg is the home of Weyermann Specialty Malting Company. In 1879, Johann Baptist Weyermann founded a factory for malt coffee in downtown Bramberg, along the Regnitz River. Today, Weyermann's family tradition of quality and expertise has evolved into the largest specialty malting company in the world. Over one third of their annual production is specialty malts. Weyermann produces over 60 products shipped to over 70 countries on four continents. One of their most distinctive products is Beechwood smoked malt, or Rauchmaltz.
The article then goes into a little bit of history. It describes how, say about 2,500 years ago, early brewers stopped drying the malt in the sun and instead dried the stuff over an open flame. Thusly basically all beers were smoked beers at one time.
It appears that all beers at some point had a certain amount of smoke. By the mid-19th century, however, smoke free, controlled air kiln drying removed the smoke taste and eventually smoke malt all but disappeared. Smoke flavors in beer began to be considered offensive and regarded as off-flavors.
Who knew?
To the best of my knowledge, the only Wisconsin brewer that makes rauchbier is J.T. Whitney's here in Madtown who have a smoked ale on tap. Anyone know differently?
The stash of tickets for the Great Taste of the Midwest here in Madison sold out quite quickly. Something like 70 minutes, I hear. I recally seeing a line of people in camping chairs outside of Star Liquor when I was driving home on Monday. If you can't make it, fret not because there's other drinking opportunities to be had.
The First Annual Oregon Micro Brew Fest is going to be on 13 May at the Bergamont Golf Club in Oregon. (If anyone is confused, I'm talking about Oregon, WI.) From 1-6, you'll be able to sample from 80 different beers from 20 brewers.
On Monday the 8th, there will be a brewer's dinner at Serendipity in Cambridge.
Robert Hughes, proprietor and chef of Serendipity Restaurant in Cambridge, is planning a very special five-course meal... because each course will be paired with a different beer from Tyranena Brewing Company! The menu is still being developed, but we'll give you all the details as they become available. The cost will be $45.00 per plate which includes the aforementioned gourmet, 5-course meal as well as a sampling of 5 Tyranena beers. You can make your reservations by calling 608-423-4902. The Brewer's Dinner will begin at 7:00 pm. And... Rob will actually be there! He might even speak about brewing a little bit... but hopefully not with his mouth full!
Tonight I am meeting a friend over at Westgate to see a film. I want to stop at Westfield Comics to pick up some stuff and now I'm thinking a stop in at J.T. Whitney's for a rauchbier is in order.
03 May, 2006
Jackin'/Jillin' Off
May is National Masturbation Month. Well, according to some folks. Others say that 7 May is National Masturbation Day while others cite the first week of May as National Masturbation Week. And so I'm not quite sure what the deal is. Personally, I celebrate my masturbatory holidays 365 days a year or thereabouts but your mileage may differ.
Betty Dodson, sex therapist and self-described "Grandmother of Masturbation" is, as you can imagine, totally pro-onanism. She says:
Masturbation is our first natural sexual activity. Masturbation is the ongoing love affair that each of us has with ourselves throughout our lifetime. Masturbation is an erotic meditation. Masturbation inspires creativity. Masturbation is a way to gain sexual self-knowledge.
She urges folks to:
Go public by telling a few friends about your favorite masturbation techniques with a description of one of your better orgasms. Finally, sharing masturbation with a friend or lover qualifies you as an activist in the erotic renaissance of the new millennium.
If any female readers are keen on helping me usher in this erotic renaissance, please let me know.
Guys should check out Jackin' World for more info while the ladies should head to Clitical. Trans folks may want to peruse both sites.
Here in Madison, the friendly folks at A Woman's Touch would be more than happy to give you information as well as help you select the perfect toy(s) and accessories for either laying stomach pancakes or churning the butter.
Betty Dodson, sex therapist and self-described "Grandmother of Masturbation" is, as you can imagine, totally pro-onanism. She says:
Masturbation is our first natural sexual activity. Masturbation is the ongoing love affair that each of us has with ourselves throughout our lifetime. Masturbation is an erotic meditation. Masturbation inspires creativity. Masturbation is a way to gain sexual self-knowledge.
She urges folks to:
Go public by telling a few friends about your favorite masturbation techniques with a description of one of your better orgasms. Finally, sharing masturbation with a friend or lover qualifies you as an activist in the erotic renaissance of the new millennium.
If any female readers are keen on helping me usher in this erotic renaissance, please let me know.
Guys should check out Jackin' World for more info while the ladies should head to Clitical. Trans folks may want to peruse both sites.
Here in Madison, the friendly folks at A Woman's Touch would be more than happy to give you information as well as help you select the perfect toy(s) and accessories for either laying stomach pancakes or churning the butter.
Word of the Week
publican (PUB-li-kuhn) n. 1. A tax collector. 2. An owner or manager of a pub or hotel.
So, if a publican is a tax collector, does "republican" mean someone who taxes again?
So, if a publican is a tax collector, does "republican" mean someone who taxes again?
02 May, 2006
On the Gramophone
I recently had the pleasure of reviewing an EP by Felonious Bosch and it was most excellent. FB play "Music for the New Dark Ages" or medieval music all punked up. Good stuff! Check out a live version of "baladi" recorded a couple months ago in Minneapolis.
Tull on The Simpsons
I finally watched this past Sunday's episode of The Simpsons - "Girls Just Want to Have Sums". At the end of the show, Martin comes out onstage wearing a goofy Renaissance costume whilst playing the flute. But he's not just playing any tune - it was "Thick as a Brick" by Jethro Tull. Once he dances his way out to the front of the stage, he sings a verse as well. hehe The song was also played over the closing credits. Anyone have a screenscrape of Martin?
Ahhhhh...the rare intrusion of progressive rock into mainstream culture.
EDIT:
Ooh! Ooh! The Dulcinea, who also told me about this episode, has also sent me a wonderful picture.
Ahhhhh...the rare intrusion of progressive rock into mainstream culture.
EDIT:
Ooh! Ooh! The Dulcinea, who also told me about this episode, has also sent me a wonderful picture.
The Nowell Codex Isn't Just a Codex Anymore
If, like me, you're awaiting the arrival of the film Beowulf & Grendel, it looks like our wait continues. The film appears to be playing in Canada but neither its webpage nor IMDB gives any indication of a wide release here in the States. The trailer looks fun as A) it's great tale and B) it stars Stellan Skarsgård, a god among men. So what's a gal or guy to do if he/she wants her/his fill of Scandanavian epic bloodshed goodness?
For starters you can listen to some music.
Yes, the friendly chaps in Marillion committed "Grendel" to vinyl back in 1982. Seventeen minutes of progressive rock with the band sounding a bit too much like Genesis as the blood flows. You can also watch them perform the song live on their Recital of the Script DVD and watch as Onkel Fish lays the Grendely smackdown on a punter from the audience.
One can also read a new translation of the venerable epic by Dick Rengler, Emeritus Professor of English and Scandanavian Studies here at the UW. You can read and hear it read at this section of the UW Libraries website. From the introduction:
Beowulf has been translated into Modern English many times, so in translating it yet again I am hardly breaking new ground. This version differs from its predecessors in attempting to provide a somewhat stricter imitation of the meter of the original Old English text than is usually the case. The translation is intended to be as accurate as possible within the metrical constraints I have set myself and within the limits of colloquial Modern English. What I have striven for is a relatively transparent, neutral style, supple and flexible enough to imitate the various textures, modes and tones of the original, which range from fast-paced narrative through hymnic and moralizing to reflective and elegiac. The translation is designed to be read aloud and if this is done at a moderate speed the reading takes about three hours.
But wait - there's more!
The friendly folks at NEMO Productions have taken Ringler's translation and made it into an audio drama!
A fully dramatized - but otherwise unmodified - version of the translation, narrated by the translator and with other speaking parts performed by professional actors from the American Players Theatre and the Guthrie Theatre. With appropriate music and sound effects. Produced by Norman Gilliland of Wisconsin Public Radio.
It's going to be a 3-CD affair and will be available on 4 May for the low, low price of $29.95.
One may also be inclined to read Grendel by John Gardner. It's a retelling of Beowulf but from Grendel's point of view and it provided the basis for the Marillion song above.
For starters you can listen to some music.
Yes, the friendly chaps in Marillion committed "Grendel" to vinyl back in 1982. Seventeen minutes of progressive rock with the band sounding a bit too much like Genesis as the blood flows. You can also watch them perform the song live on their Recital of the Script DVD and watch as Onkel Fish lays the Grendely smackdown on a punter from the audience.
One can also read a new translation of the venerable epic by Dick Rengler, Emeritus Professor of English and Scandanavian Studies here at the UW. You can read and hear it read at this section of the UW Libraries website. From the introduction:
Beowulf has been translated into Modern English many times, so in translating it yet again I am hardly breaking new ground. This version differs from its predecessors in attempting to provide a somewhat stricter imitation of the meter of the original Old English text than is usually the case. The translation is intended to be as accurate as possible within the metrical constraints I have set myself and within the limits of colloquial Modern English. What I have striven for is a relatively transparent, neutral style, supple and flexible enough to imitate the various textures, modes and tones of the original, which range from fast-paced narrative through hymnic and moralizing to reflective and elegiac. The translation is designed to be read aloud and if this is done at a moderate speed the reading takes about three hours.
But wait - there's more!
The friendly folks at NEMO Productions have taken Ringler's translation and made it into an audio drama!
A fully dramatized - but otherwise unmodified - version of the translation, narrated by the translator and with other speaking parts performed by professional actors from the American Players Theatre and the Guthrie Theatre. With appropriate music and sound effects. Produced by Norman Gilliland of Wisconsin Public Radio.
It's going to be a 3-CD affair and will be available on 4 May for the low, low price of $29.95.
One may also be inclined to read Grendel by John Gardner. It's a retelling of Beowulf but from Grendel's point of view and it provided the basis for the Marillion song above.
01 May, 2006
The Hard Life
Happy Beltane everyone! It hasn't been particularly good weather to leap over a bonfire atop a hill but so it goes.
My friend Pam sent me some pictures of the Latino marchers in Milwaukee.
Organizers said that more than 30,000 attended the rally. Milwaukee police said they would not provide a crowd estimate.
Christine Neumann-Ortiz, director of Voces de la Frontera, the leading organizer of the march, said the crowd ignored what she described as intimidation by anti-immigration groups, as well as bad weather and, in many cases, the loss of a day’s wages, to participate in the event.
Some of the signs at the march said "Stop HR 4437," referring to the bill that would criminalize undocumented immigrants and tighten border security. The bill, sponsored by U.S. Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner (R-Menomonee Falls), has been passed by the House of Representatives.
Here in Madison, we had our own march.
By noon, more than 1,000 people had gathered at the State Street steps of the Capitol to participate in a rally supporting a change in immigration policies.
Bearing U.S. flags and signs with messages such as "Where did your ancestors come from?" and "No human is illegal," some came individually and others marched as a group to the beat of drums.
The National Day of Action rally was one of many today across the country, which included some plans to boycott work, school and shopping to show the importance of immigrants to the national economy.
My big project for the day is now done. I was anxious all morning and feel much better now that it is squared away. Yes, registration for events at GenCon began today! My brother had to take my mom to the doctor this afternoon so I was charged with the task of registering him. In return, he promised me a reward: "I will buy you some Old Style and 'sliders' for your effort." He's such a loving brother. The server was bogged down before 2 when registration began and it was slow going and filled with timeouts. But I got 'er done.
I begin my GenCon 2006 experience by building myself a foam weapon. I hope to hit at couple seminars too. One that I know I'll be attending is "Real Feasts: Menus and Entertainment from Medieval Cookbooks". I shall learn all about:
What were feasts like in the Middle Ages? Did they serve gruel? Turkey legs? How about whole roasted oxen? This seminar provides detailed descriptions of feasts taken directly from northern Europe in the 13th, 14th and 15th century. Subjects covered are foods served, table settings, manners, and the entertainment during the feast.
Saturday morning starts early with "Hickman's Killer Breakfast" which will involve me being a red shirt in a musical, no less.
A rampaging gamemaster, 300 first-level characters facing certain death...and show-stopping musical numbers! Tracy Hickman, Laura Curtis and the usual crew take on all comers in their classic, wacky, no-holds-barred role playing game for one hundred plus players. First one hundred and fifty tickets sold now GUARANTEED to play onstage or just come without a ticket and join in the audience participation.
After a couple hours to get my act together, I'm off to do some role-playing in the form of Call of Cthulhu. In this instance, it's "The Poetics of Violent Death".
Several murders and grave desecrations have the Medical Examiner's office in Polk County, Iowa, extremely worried, not to mention overworked. In addition, the shocking, unusual and grisly nature of these crimes has staff members nervous, even frightened. As if that isn't bad enough, the Polk County Sheriff has insisted the Medical Examiner's office accept help from outside consultants. Just who are these people?
Yee doggy! After that I'll probably head across the street to check out the costume contest.
As I said, I registered my sibling for some events. In addition to getting him a slot in the Cthulhu Masters Tournament, he'll be playing Memories of Madness, a story with ties to Wisconsin:
October 30, 1999: the Wisconsin Paranormal Research Society has received permission to conduct an overnight investigation of a long-abandoned VA hospital located in a remote corner of an inactive Army ammunition plant in rural Wisconsin. The facility has been locked-down for almost 40 years and remains untouched by vandals. Will the WPRS hit the "jackpot" and provide conclusive evidence of the paranormal?
It should be fiendish. According to a post by the gamekeeper in a Cthulhu forum, the eldritch events of the adventure are "based loosely on some of my experiences as the former science advisor (and investigator) for the Virginia Ghosts and Hauntings Research Society (now Center for Paranormal Research and Investigation)." That's just rich. You'll have a real crazy person running the game!
The NOVUS ORDO SECOLURUM folks are running what sounds like a really neat tournament this year. There are two perspectives on the story. "Foule is Faire" features "A bold band of British adventurers takes a trip to the colonies for the Columbian Exhibition of 1893 in Chicago." while "Faire is Foule" sees the gender bit turned around: "You, the stalwart women of the National American Woman Suffrage Association take a trip to the Columbian Exhibition of 1893 in Chicago." I aam assuming that the adventure was inspired by Erik Larson's The Devil in the White City since I seem to recall one of the NOS boys talking about it last year at his housewarming party.
And I see that Harry Potter has gone Cthulhu too:
The school year is over and all of Hogwarts is going home for the summer. Giving in to temptation, Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle conspire to stall Harry, Ron and Hermione's departure and strand them alone in Hogwarts for the summer. But something goes wrong and all six of them get stranded with no hope of getting home. If that wasn't the worst of it, strange sounds have started coming from the Slytherin dorms a sense of utter dread has permeated the entire school. Together, facing unknown horrors and fighting a maddening urge to flee in terror, Harry and the other students must find out what's in House Slytherin.
Charles is looking to get a few of us into a late Friday night session of True Dungeon. True Dungeon is a game where you and your friends enter a life-sized dungeon and wander around solving puzzles, battling baddies, and generally living out your dorkiest D&D fantasies. For a peek, check out their trailer:
And like all good D&D adventures, you start off at the tavern - the Fantasy Tavern. It's a mock up of a medieval drinking establishment. Nice pictures of bugbears on the walls, I thought.
As a precursor to GenCon, my buddy Ted throws AzogCon in the spring and this year's was held last weekend. Charles and I drove down on Saturday to experience the madness. But before we headed out to Lombard, we stopped in Little Inida for some lunch. I parked the car and then we walked a block to Devon and began wandering around in search of an eating establishment. We walked by several before settling on a small joint. Both of us were keen on the vindaloo but made the fatal mistake of not actually looking the buffet over before going that route. We were disappointed that there was no vindaloo to be had. However, I found this yellow stuff with which I fell in love. It's a yellow sauce that has all these tasty dumplings floating in it and it had lots of cilantro too. It was stupendous! I raved and raved about it while Charles satiated himself with lots of lamb curry. And one nice thing about the joint was that they brought out the tandoori chicken to you on a sizzling platter! Mmmm…After we had made gluttons of ourselves, we headed back to the car and out to Lombard.
It was a rainy, gloomy day – perfect for gaming! When we got to Ted's house, Terry was setting up a miniatures table in the garage so we proceeded to unpack all the New Glarus beer that my friends had ordered since it's no longer available in Illinois. It was just before 2 and there were only a few stragglers around. Oddly enough, Ted's wife, Letha, was home. I thought for sure that she'd be gone all weekend rather than suffer the presence of several scruffy gamers ranting on about the wonders of the Age of Renaissance and the horrors of Cthulhu. Plus there's and all the drunken yelling that miniatures ensues. I mean, just look at these guys:
Even I was hesitant to spend the weekend amongst these people.
While waiting for folks to show up, I popped open my first of many Capital beers – an amber. Glenn and Andrew showed up soon enough. A game of Age of Renaissance started up but I spent the afternoon in the garage drinking beer and hanging out with Greg, Terry, and my brother shooting the shit. And drinking more beer. Soon enough evening rolled around and the Age of Renaissance game ended. Everyone came up from the basement and Ted started dinner – grilled Polish sausage. After dinner we turned on Ted's funky big flat screen monster television. Charles displayed some fancy fingerwork and found Stoogapalooza! Yes, hours of The Three Stooges! I hadn't seen them in years so I laughed. In fact, I probably laughed way more than I should have. There were a few good belly laughs to be had.
A couple episodes in, Don and Jeff, half of NOVUS ORDO SECOLURUM, showed up. Don was at the Cubs game at which the Brewers slaughtered them. He was going to run a Call of Cthulhu adventure, No Man's Land.
He began by getting the cramped room all decked-up.
He put some camouflaged netting up against one wall, scattered a couple colored lights about the place, and put an old lamp on the table with a Bible from 1903 next to it. The five of us were U.S. soldiers in World War I pushing through the Argonne forest. I was Emmett Ryan, a young farm boy from Massachusetts who was very religious and not particularly smart. Don also had a small boom box and he played some very, very creepy music to start things off – a bit like the LOST theme. Charles was sent to find another company and I knew shit was going to hit the fan soon when he returned saying that they weren't where they should have been. Then, as our lieutenant lit a match to look at his compass, a bullet went through his head and splattered his brains on us. Then the music turned to gunfire. We had moved right into a position held by the Germans and there was a machine gun in a pillbox tearing us apart. Somehow we made it to the trenches. Greg had a new-fangled Browning so he could do some killin'. However, the rest of us had single action rifles so we did a lot of hacking and slashing with our bayonets. Suddenly we all heard this weird humming sound in our heads – the Germans too. It pulsed and throbbed as it became louder. It didn't take long before we just couldn't handle it any longer and everyone passed out.
The whole thing was just creepy. The ambience with the dim lights, the sound effects, and music really got my imagination going. I kind of imagined myself scared thinking about the bullets whizzing by, the corpses, the stink, and of course the zombies too.
When we awoke, it was daylight. Everyone was dead excepting us. Some of us were sunburned and the scene was just creepy. The barrel of the machine gun had melted and drooped to the ground; belt buckles, badges – anything metallic – on the dead soldiers had melted off leaving the cloth unharmed. There were bodies everywhere and they had this horrid grimace on their faces and their skin was like leather. Andy discovered that the 5 of us were at the center of a spiral pattern. Going out from where we laid, trees were split like toothpicks but split out away from the trench.
I braved the bodies and their stench to wander down the trench. After about 200 feet, I came to a bunker. Inside there was a table covered with a tarpaulin. Pulling it back revealed a couple dead German soldiers with looks of horror frozen on their faces. Their skin was gray – almost ashen. I threw the tarp back over them and continued searching – searching for survivors to take prisoner, a field telephone – just anything. But, taking a step towards one wall, the ground gave way and I fell into a dark room underneath.
Being a smoker, I pulled out my matches and managed to light one. There was a slight breeze coming from one direction and I discovered that there was a large stone archway which lead into another room. Approaching the threshold, I could vaguely see into the room. I saw…I saw a figure. It was kneeling before one of the walls…
Luckily my comrades showed up in due time. Jeff started yelling down the hole at me to NOT go into the other room and to get the hell out of there. The fact that he yelled in real life and that I was sitting next to him added to the effect. The unlucky part of my rescue was that we left the area only to find a town that was deserted except for the priest. We also ran into zombies and cultists and I failed many a sanity check. Before the priest was impaled by a crucifix that moved of its own accord, he gave Jeff a funky crystal and a couple pages from the Necronomicon. Unbeknownst to me, holding the crystal while reciting a passage from the Necronomicon will ward off the big major evil that was preparing to unfold before us. Since Don loves me so much, my character was chosen to be possessed by the evil. This resulted in me being shot by my fellow doughboys. And good. My chest was splayed wide open. But before I was killed, I got in a good demonic laugh and soliloquy about how we had waited for aeons and we were going to rise again – you know the drill.
When our session was over, we came out to find that the Arkham Horror games was ongoing. Charles joined in while the rest of us lounged, drank beer, and watched some bad pr0n on cable. Andy had drunk a whole bottle of New Glarus Raspberry Tart during CoC so he took up residency on one of the couches. Around 2, some of the rest of us began passing out too. I have no recollection of actually moving to a nice plush chair to sleep but I did. I do, however, have recollection of the unholy chorus of snoring. Holy fecal matter! I also recall Ted coming into the room and putting on a Marillion DVD. It must have been about 3:30 when I woke up to see a figure scurrying about the room. Next thing I know, "Grendel" is blaring out of the speakers and on the TV.
Letha, the angel she is, made us breakfast the next morning. We cleaned up a bit, watched the latest Doctor Who episodes, and recovered. The gaming life is a hard one.
My friend Pam sent me some pictures of the Latino marchers in Milwaukee.
Organizers said that more than 30,000 attended the rally. Milwaukee police said they would not provide a crowd estimate.
Christine Neumann-Ortiz, director of Voces de la Frontera, the leading organizer of the march, said the crowd ignored what she described as intimidation by anti-immigration groups, as well as bad weather and, in many cases, the loss of a day’s wages, to participate in the event.
Some of the signs at the march said "Stop HR 4437," referring to the bill that would criminalize undocumented immigrants and tighten border security. The bill, sponsored by U.S. Rep. Jim Sensenbrenner (R-Menomonee Falls), has been passed by the House of Representatives.
Here in Madison, we had our own march.
By noon, more than 1,000 people had gathered at the State Street steps of the Capitol to participate in a rally supporting a change in immigration policies.
Bearing U.S. flags and signs with messages such as "Where did your ancestors come from?" and "No human is illegal," some came individually and others marched as a group to the beat of drums.
The National Day of Action rally was one of many today across the country, which included some plans to boycott work, school and shopping to show the importance of immigrants to the national economy.
My big project for the day is now done. I was anxious all morning and feel much better now that it is squared away. Yes, registration for events at GenCon began today! My brother had to take my mom to the doctor this afternoon so I was charged with the task of registering him. In return, he promised me a reward: "I will buy you some Old Style and 'sliders' for your effort." He's such a loving brother. The server was bogged down before 2 when registration began and it was slow going and filled with timeouts. But I got 'er done.
I begin my GenCon 2006 experience by building myself a foam weapon. I hope to hit at couple seminars too. One that I know I'll be attending is "Real Feasts: Menus and Entertainment from Medieval Cookbooks". I shall learn all about:
What were feasts like in the Middle Ages? Did they serve gruel? Turkey legs? How about whole roasted oxen? This seminar provides detailed descriptions of feasts taken directly from northern Europe in the 13th, 14th and 15th century. Subjects covered are foods served, table settings, manners, and the entertainment during the feast.
Saturday morning starts early with "Hickman's Killer Breakfast" which will involve me being a red shirt in a musical, no less.
A rampaging gamemaster, 300 first-level characters facing certain death...and show-stopping musical numbers! Tracy Hickman, Laura Curtis and the usual crew take on all comers in their classic, wacky, no-holds-barred role playing game for one hundred plus players. First one hundred and fifty tickets sold now GUARANTEED to play onstage or just come without a ticket and join in the audience participation.
After a couple hours to get my act together, I'm off to do some role-playing in the form of Call of Cthulhu. In this instance, it's "The Poetics of Violent Death".
Several murders and grave desecrations have the Medical Examiner's office in Polk County, Iowa, extremely worried, not to mention overworked. In addition, the shocking, unusual and grisly nature of these crimes has staff members nervous, even frightened. As if that isn't bad enough, the Polk County Sheriff has insisted the Medical Examiner's office accept help from outside consultants. Just who are these people?
Yee doggy! After that I'll probably head across the street to check out the costume contest.
As I said, I registered my sibling for some events. In addition to getting him a slot in the Cthulhu Masters Tournament, he'll be playing Memories of Madness, a story with ties to Wisconsin:
October 30, 1999: the Wisconsin Paranormal Research Society has received permission to conduct an overnight investigation of a long-abandoned VA hospital located in a remote corner of an inactive Army ammunition plant in rural Wisconsin. The facility has been locked-down for almost 40 years and remains untouched by vandals. Will the WPRS hit the "jackpot" and provide conclusive evidence of the paranormal?
It should be fiendish. According to a post by the gamekeeper in a Cthulhu forum, the eldritch events of the adventure are "based loosely on some of my experiences as the former science advisor (and investigator) for the Virginia Ghosts and Hauntings Research Society (now Center for Paranormal Research and Investigation)." That's just rich. You'll have a real crazy person running the game!
The NOVUS ORDO SECOLURUM folks are running what sounds like a really neat tournament this year. There are two perspectives on the story. "Foule is Faire" features "A bold band of British adventurers takes a trip to the colonies for the Columbian Exhibition of 1893 in Chicago." while "Faire is Foule" sees the gender bit turned around: "You, the stalwart women of the National American Woman Suffrage Association take a trip to the Columbian Exhibition of 1893 in Chicago." I aam assuming that the adventure was inspired by Erik Larson's The Devil in the White City since I seem to recall one of the NOS boys talking about it last year at his housewarming party.
And I see that Harry Potter has gone Cthulhu too:
The school year is over and all of Hogwarts is going home for the summer. Giving in to temptation, Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle conspire to stall Harry, Ron and Hermione's departure and strand them alone in Hogwarts for the summer. But something goes wrong and all six of them get stranded with no hope of getting home. If that wasn't the worst of it, strange sounds have started coming from the Slytherin dorms a sense of utter dread has permeated the entire school. Together, facing unknown horrors and fighting a maddening urge to flee in terror, Harry and the other students must find out what's in House Slytherin.
Charles is looking to get a few of us into a late Friday night session of True Dungeon. True Dungeon is a game where you and your friends enter a life-sized dungeon and wander around solving puzzles, battling baddies, and generally living out your dorkiest D&D fantasies. For a peek, check out their trailer:
And like all good D&D adventures, you start off at the tavern - the Fantasy Tavern. It's a mock up of a medieval drinking establishment. Nice pictures of bugbears on the walls, I thought.
As a precursor to GenCon, my buddy Ted throws AzogCon in the spring and this year's was held last weekend. Charles and I drove down on Saturday to experience the madness. But before we headed out to Lombard, we stopped in Little Inida for some lunch. I parked the car and then we walked a block to Devon and began wandering around in search of an eating establishment. We walked by several before settling on a small joint. Both of us were keen on the vindaloo but made the fatal mistake of not actually looking the buffet over before going that route. We were disappointed that there was no vindaloo to be had. However, I found this yellow stuff with which I fell in love. It's a yellow sauce that has all these tasty dumplings floating in it and it had lots of cilantro too. It was stupendous! I raved and raved about it while Charles satiated himself with lots of lamb curry. And one nice thing about the joint was that they brought out the tandoori chicken to you on a sizzling platter! Mmmm…After we had made gluttons of ourselves, we headed back to the car and out to Lombard.
It was a rainy, gloomy day – perfect for gaming! When we got to Ted's house, Terry was setting up a miniatures table in the garage so we proceeded to unpack all the New Glarus beer that my friends had ordered since it's no longer available in Illinois. It was just before 2 and there were only a few stragglers around. Oddly enough, Ted's wife, Letha, was home. I thought for sure that she'd be gone all weekend rather than suffer the presence of several scruffy gamers ranting on about the wonders of the Age of Renaissance and the horrors of Cthulhu. Plus there's and all the drunken yelling that miniatures ensues. I mean, just look at these guys:
Even I was hesitant to spend the weekend amongst these people.
While waiting for folks to show up, I popped open my first of many Capital beers – an amber. Glenn and Andrew showed up soon enough. A game of Age of Renaissance started up but I spent the afternoon in the garage drinking beer and hanging out with Greg, Terry, and my brother shooting the shit. And drinking more beer. Soon enough evening rolled around and the Age of Renaissance game ended. Everyone came up from the basement and Ted started dinner – grilled Polish sausage. After dinner we turned on Ted's funky big flat screen monster television. Charles displayed some fancy fingerwork and found Stoogapalooza! Yes, hours of The Three Stooges! I hadn't seen them in years so I laughed. In fact, I probably laughed way more than I should have. There were a few good belly laughs to be had.
A couple episodes in, Don and Jeff, half of NOVUS ORDO SECOLURUM, showed up. Don was at the Cubs game at which the Brewers slaughtered them. He was going to run a Call of Cthulhu adventure, No Man's Land.
He began by getting the cramped room all decked-up.
He put some camouflaged netting up against one wall, scattered a couple colored lights about the place, and put an old lamp on the table with a Bible from 1903 next to it. The five of us were U.S. soldiers in World War I pushing through the Argonne forest. I was Emmett Ryan, a young farm boy from Massachusetts who was very religious and not particularly smart. Don also had a small boom box and he played some very, very creepy music to start things off – a bit like the LOST theme. Charles was sent to find another company and I knew shit was going to hit the fan soon when he returned saying that they weren't where they should have been. Then, as our lieutenant lit a match to look at his compass, a bullet went through his head and splattered his brains on us. Then the music turned to gunfire. We had moved right into a position held by the Germans and there was a machine gun in a pillbox tearing us apart. Somehow we made it to the trenches. Greg had a new-fangled Browning so he could do some killin'. However, the rest of us had single action rifles so we did a lot of hacking and slashing with our bayonets. Suddenly we all heard this weird humming sound in our heads – the Germans too. It pulsed and throbbed as it became louder. It didn't take long before we just couldn't handle it any longer and everyone passed out.
The whole thing was just creepy. The ambience with the dim lights, the sound effects, and music really got my imagination going. I kind of imagined myself scared thinking about the bullets whizzing by, the corpses, the stink, and of course the zombies too.
When we awoke, it was daylight. Everyone was dead excepting us. Some of us were sunburned and the scene was just creepy. The barrel of the machine gun had melted and drooped to the ground; belt buckles, badges – anything metallic – on the dead soldiers had melted off leaving the cloth unharmed. There were bodies everywhere and they had this horrid grimace on their faces and their skin was like leather. Andy discovered that the 5 of us were at the center of a spiral pattern. Going out from where we laid, trees were split like toothpicks but split out away from the trench.
I braved the bodies and their stench to wander down the trench. After about 200 feet, I came to a bunker. Inside there was a table covered with a tarpaulin. Pulling it back revealed a couple dead German soldiers with looks of horror frozen on their faces. Their skin was gray – almost ashen. I threw the tarp back over them and continued searching – searching for survivors to take prisoner, a field telephone – just anything. But, taking a step towards one wall, the ground gave way and I fell into a dark room underneath.
Being a smoker, I pulled out my matches and managed to light one. There was a slight breeze coming from one direction and I discovered that there was a large stone archway which lead into another room. Approaching the threshold, I could vaguely see into the room. I saw…I saw a figure. It was kneeling before one of the walls…
Luckily my comrades showed up in due time. Jeff started yelling down the hole at me to NOT go into the other room and to get the hell out of there. The fact that he yelled in real life and that I was sitting next to him added to the effect. The unlucky part of my rescue was that we left the area only to find a town that was deserted except for the priest. We also ran into zombies and cultists and I failed many a sanity check. Before the priest was impaled by a crucifix that moved of its own accord, he gave Jeff a funky crystal and a couple pages from the Necronomicon. Unbeknownst to me, holding the crystal while reciting a passage from the Necronomicon will ward off the big major evil that was preparing to unfold before us. Since Don loves me so much, my character was chosen to be possessed by the evil. This resulted in me being shot by my fellow doughboys. And good. My chest was splayed wide open. But before I was killed, I got in a good demonic laugh and soliloquy about how we had waited for aeons and we were going to rise again – you know the drill.
When our session was over, we came out to find that the Arkham Horror games was ongoing. Charles joined in while the rest of us lounged, drank beer, and watched some bad pr0n on cable. Andy had drunk a whole bottle of New Glarus Raspberry Tart during CoC so he took up residency on one of the couches. Around 2, some of the rest of us began passing out too. I have no recollection of actually moving to a nice plush chair to sleep but I did. I do, however, have recollection of the unholy chorus of snoring. Holy fecal matter! I also recall Ted coming into the room and putting on a Marillion DVD. It must have been about 3:30 when I woke up to see a figure scurrying about the room. Next thing I know, "Grendel" is blaring out of the speakers and on the TV.
Letha, the angel she is, made us breakfast the next morning. We cleaned up a bit, watched the latest Doctor Who episodes, and recovered. The gaming life is a hard one.
28 April, 2006
Freethought Radio
The Freedom From Religion Foundation is introducing Freethought Radio to debut tomorrow, 29 April, at 8AM on 92.1 the Mic. So check out the godless goodness. If you miss it, a podcast of the show will be available on Monday at the FFRF site.
Ramblings
I nearly cried when I read these words: "Bitter Woman From Hell Going Down The Drain!". Brewmaster Rob Larson of Tyranena had a wee problem with a batch of his Brewers Gone Wild! Bitter Woman From Hell Extra IPA:
Couldn't get enough beer over to the brite tank to reach the cooling jackets... and if you have ever tried to bottle a beer in the 40 degree plus range (we typically bottle with the beer at 34 degrees), you know just how difficult it can be. I did rescue 6 1/2 barrels from the drain... which will start to go on tap Friday.
He reports that he's starting a new batch today, probably as I type. I could use a nice brew right now after having saved the state a few hundred bucks. Here I am making Jimmy Doyle look good and what thanks do I get? Notta. Stupid printer fusers! A bad paper guide caused one helluva jam. I had to scrounge through the boneyard for an old fuser to hork the guide. Then I had to spend a half hour scrapping one of the rollers clean as it had about a pound of toner stuck to the surface. I used isopropyl alcohol which tried up my tender, baby-like hands. And people wonder why I keep some of Burt's Bees Milk & Honey Body Lotion at my desk.
So how has y'all's day been?
The new Isthmus has a little review of some new baseball game for game consoles called Major League Baseball 2K6. Man, sports games have some funky graphics nowadays. The faces of the players onscreen are the actual faces of real MLB players, the umpires actually move, and the like. I have never been able to get into these new-fangled sports games. I'm old school. Gimme Hardball for my old Commodore 64 anytime. When I lived in Chicago, my friend Pete and I would head down to Rolling Stone Records at the HIP (that's Harlem Irving Plaza), buy some progressive rock records and then go back to his place and fire up the C64. Ah, those were the days.
If you have any interest in global warming/the human impact on the climate, you can download a lecture by Tim Flannery on the topic. Dr. Flannery is the Director of the South Australian Museum currently and he gave a speech recently out at CalTech called "The Weather Makers: How Humans are Changing the Climate & What It Means for Life on Earth". It can be downloaded here for a "limited time" - a week, methinks.
The event listing for GenCon was finally published this week and event registration starts on Monday. I really need to go through it more thoroughly but, since it has over 5.200 events, it'll take some time. I hope to get in on some Call of Cthulhu action this year. And while my grandmother can paint miniatures better than me, you can bet your sweet ass I'll be attending a workshop where I can let my inner weaponsmith loose - Build a Foam Weapon. I'm gonna make me a foam claymore so I can go after those pesky skateboarding teens in my neighborhood. Plus there's some cool seminars to be had such as Women Warriors: Ancient Times-Middle Ages and Bridging the Firepower Gap. Next year I wanna run a seminar on bridging the mine shaft gap. There are just too many games for any one civilization to be had. Collectible card games, RPGs, computer gaming, board games, miniatures, and on and on. How about some Monty Python Illuminati?
One thing I'm pleased about this year is the discovery of India Garden, an Indian restaurant. While I think Indy has a pretty nice downtown, I couldn't find any restaurants last year that weren't basically American. The brewpubs were nice, the chili joint was cool, and the BW3 had over 40 beers from which to choose. But it got to the point where I would have killed for Chinese food or Indian or bascially anything not burger/chili/chop orientated. Well, Charles used the Interwebs and found an Indian joint where he and I can drown ourselves in vindaloo gluttony. Less than 4 months to go...
The Midwest Story Festival kicks off tonight. Go and hear some stories the way they were meant to be experienced - told in-person at a pricey hotel ballroom with expensive cocktails.
Earlier this week I had the misfortune of being recruited to watch the pilot episode of a new TV show. I dutifully tuned into channel 18 on Wednesday to experience Untitled Patricia Heaton Project. Heaton plays a physical therapist who was recently widowed and is in the midst of getting her life back together by joining the local PTA. Justine Bateman plays her sister, Cindy. Bateman was looking quite well. Heaton goes to the school and meets up with Hilary, played by Jenny McCarthy. They form an alliance and vow to reform the PTA by wresting it from the hands of Heike Gaert, a woman with a Russian accent who looks like she stepped out of an old Macintosh commerical from 1984, and another woman who is rich and snobby. Honestly, the show sucked donkey dick. Heaton's character had a couple almost-funny comebacks but that was all the humor for this sitcom. McCarthy plays the dumb blonde. At the PTA meeting, Heaton refers to a character named Mary Grey-White and McCarthy replies, "Who's that mocha-colored woman over there?" Realy Emmy quality stuff, as you can tell. The principal of the school, a black woman, is just another sterotype. Every character was just a cardboard cut-out. And it was just not funny. I have nothing against a story featuring women constantly remarking how nice Mr. Delgado's butt is, but the characters didn't interest me. Here's another example of the writing during the scene with Heaton meeting the principal for the first time. The banter was well-paced and could have come out of His Girl Friday had it actually been funny or interesting. Instead we get lines from Heaton like "I'm wearing a thong for the first time and it just found its home" or something akin to that. Heaton's character is very coarse all-around.
About 15 minutes after it ended, I got the super-survey phone call. The guy mispronouced "Heike" as "haiku" but I didn't say anything.
"On a scale of 1 to 10, please rate the music on the show." 0.
"Would you like to see more, about the same amount, or less of Heaton and Hilary together?" Less. Less, less, less. The only thing that I wanted to see more of was Jenny McCarthy's tits as the generous cleavage she gave us was just not enough for me.
At the end of the episode, Heaton, McCarthy, and the principal are sitting around cocktailing and pledging their friendship to one another. I was asked if I thought that "Margarita Club" was a good name for the show so I presume that every episode will feature them drinking.
Towards the end of my interrogation, I was asked a few questions about my TV watching habits. The guy asked me how many times a month I watched various TV shows. Aside from LOST, I watched none of the shows. In fact, I'd never heard of some of them. In fact, I had no idea who Patricia Heaton was and was surprised they built a show around her. I am most decidedly not part of their desired demographic. When I was asked to do the survey, I was told that it was my chance to help determine prime-time TV programming. So please believe me, everyone, I tried my darnedest to make sure this show doesn't go beyond pilot and pollute our airwaves.
All you adult learners like myself can spend some time this summer at the UW in a non-credit course so you can become all enriched and stuff. The summer catalog is now online.
Considering my recent foray into sausage importing, the new Onion piece, "Grease Fire Rages Through Midwest", was quite humorous, especially the picture of crews trying to contain a blaze "in a kielbasa field outside Chicago."
Couldn't get enough beer over to the brite tank to reach the cooling jackets... and if you have ever tried to bottle a beer in the 40 degree plus range (we typically bottle with the beer at 34 degrees), you know just how difficult it can be. I did rescue 6 1/2 barrels from the drain... which will start to go on tap Friday.
He reports that he's starting a new batch today, probably as I type. I could use a nice brew right now after having saved the state a few hundred bucks. Here I am making Jimmy Doyle look good and what thanks do I get? Notta. Stupid printer fusers! A bad paper guide caused one helluva jam. I had to scrounge through the boneyard for an old fuser to hork the guide. Then I had to spend a half hour scrapping one of the rollers clean as it had about a pound of toner stuck to the surface. I used isopropyl alcohol which tried up my tender, baby-like hands. And people wonder why I keep some of Burt's Bees Milk & Honey Body Lotion at my desk.
So how has y'all's day been?
The new Isthmus has a little review of some new baseball game for game consoles called Major League Baseball 2K6. Man, sports games have some funky graphics nowadays. The faces of the players onscreen are the actual faces of real MLB players, the umpires actually move, and the like. I have never been able to get into these new-fangled sports games. I'm old school. Gimme Hardball for my old Commodore 64 anytime. When I lived in Chicago, my friend Pete and I would head down to Rolling Stone Records at the HIP (that's Harlem Irving Plaza), buy some progressive rock records and then go back to his place and fire up the C64. Ah, those were the days.
If you have any interest in global warming/the human impact on the climate, you can download a lecture by Tim Flannery on the topic. Dr. Flannery is the Director of the South Australian Museum currently and he gave a speech recently out at CalTech called "The Weather Makers: How Humans are Changing the Climate & What It Means for Life on Earth". It can be downloaded here for a "limited time" - a week, methinks.
The event listing for GenCon was finally published this week and event registration starts on Monday. I really need to go through it more thoroughly but, since it has over 5.200 events, it'll take some time. I hope to get in on some Call of Cthulhu action this year. And while my grandmother can paint miniatures better than me, you can bet your sweet ass I'll be attending a workshop where I can let my inner weaponsmith loose - Build a Foam Weapon. I'm gonna make me a foam claymore so I can go after those pesky skateboarding teens in my neighborhood. Plus there's some cool seminars to be had such as Women Warriors: Ancient Times-Middle Ages and Bridging the Firepower Gap. Next year I wanna run a seminar on bridging the mine shaft gap. There are just too many games for any one civilization to be had. Collectible card games, RPGs, computer gaming, board games, miniatures, and on and on. How about some Monty Python Illuminati?
One thing I'm pleased about this year is the discovery of India Garden, an Indian restaurant. While I think Indy has a pretty nice downtown, I couldn't find any restaurants last year that weren't basically American. The brewpubs were nice, the chili joint was cool, and the BW3 had over 40 beers from which to choose. But it got to the point where I would have killed for Chinese food or Indian or bascially anything not burger/chili/chop orientated. Well, Charles used the Interwebs and found an Indian joint where he and I can drown ourselves in vindaloo gluttony. Less than 4 months to go...
The Midwest Story Festival kicks off tonight. Go and hear some stories the way they were meant to be experienced - told in-person at a pricey hotel ballroom with expensive cocktails.
Earlier this week I had the misfortune of being recruited to watch the pilot episode of a new TV show. I dutifully tuned into channel 18 on Wednesday to experience Untitled Patricia Heaton Project. Heaton plays a physical therapist who was recently widowed and is in the midst of getting her life back together by joining the local PTA. Justine Bateman plays her sister, Cindy. Bateman was looking quite well. Heaton goes to the school and meets up with Hilary, played by Jenny McCarthy. They form an alliance and vow to reform the PTA by wresting it from the hands of Heike Gaert, a woman with a Russian accent who looks like she stepped out of an old Macintosh commerical from 1984, and another woman who is rich and snobby. Honestly, the show sucked donkey dick. Heaton's character had a couple almost-funny comebacks but that was all the humor for this sitcom. McCarthy plays the dumb blonde. At the PTA meeting, Heaton refers to a character named Mary Grey-White and McCarthy replies, "Who's that mocha-colored woman over there?" Realy Emmy quality stuff, as you can tell. The principal of the school, a black woman, is just another sterotype. Every character was just a cardboard cut-out. And it was just not funny. I have nothing against a story featuring women constantly remarking how nice Mr. Delgado's butt is, but the characters didn't interest me. Here's another example of the writing during the scene with Heaton meeting the principal for the first time. The banter was well-paced and could have come out of His Girl Friday had it actually been funny or interesting. Instead we get lines from Heaton like "I'm wearing a thong for the first time and it just found its home" or something akin to that. Heaton's character is very coarse all-around.
About 15 minutes after it ended, I got the super-survey phone call. The guy mispronouced "Heike" as "haiku" but I didn't say anything.
"On a scale of 1 to 10, please rate the music on the show." 0.
"Would you like to see more, about the same amount, or less of Heaton and Hilary together?" Less. Less, less, less. The only thing that I wanted to see more of was Jenny McCarthy's tits as the generous cleavage she gave us was just not enough for me.
At the end of the episode, Heaton, McCarthy, and the principal are sitting around cocktailing and pledging their friendship to one another. I was asked if I thought that "Margarita Club" was a good name for the show so I presume that every episode will feature them drinking.
Towards the end of my interrogation, I was asked a few questions about my TV watching habits. The guy asked me how many times a month I watched various TV shows. Aside from LOST, I watched none of the shows. In fact, I'd never heard of some of them. In fact, I had no idea who Patricia Heaton was and was surprised they built a show around her. I am most decidedly not part of their desired demographic. When I was asked to do the survey, I was told that it was my chance to help determine prime-time TV programming. So please believe me, everyone, I tried my darnedest to make sure this show doesn't go beyond pilot and pollute our airwaves.
All you adult learners like myself can spend some time this summer at the UW in a non-credit course so you can become all enriched and stuff. The summer catalog is now online.
Considering my recent foray into sausage importing, the new Onion piece, "Grease Fire Rages Through Midwest", was quite humorous, especially the picture of crews trying to contain a blaze "in a kielbasa field outside Chicago."
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