Keeping Up

If I had any worry that our household wasn’t keeping up with the Joneses, they have officially been laid to rest. Becca got the Tivo that Stevie and I bought for her on Thursday night and Stevie went and bought another one this afternoon. In fact, he bought a high-capacity one with a built-in DVD writer. And soon it’ll be hooked up to our network which will allow us to snag pictures, videos, and mp3s from our computers and play/view them on our TVs. We are now the stylin’ bachelor/bachelorette pad. Big screen TV, Tivo, wireless network, and a newly painted kitchen. Add in one pontoon boat and we’re in like Flynn.

I got home Thursday night to find Stevie and Becca in media res of cooking our Xmas dinner. I took over and saved the Hollandaise sauce which freed Stevie to light a fire. We busted out a couple bottles of vino and had dinner. Afterwards we opened our presents and continued drinking. Stevie got pretty loaded and began to tell us how much he loved us and that we were the best roommates he ever had. He proceeded to ask us for input on what to do to the house next. It’s been his thing the past few years to take his tax return and remodel some part of the house. For his next trick, he’s been contemplating redoing the basement or putting new siding on the house. Becca suggested putting a bidet in the master bath and Stevie was quite amenable to the idea. Since the return comes in February, we still have a month or more to decide.

As Becca started putting food away, Stevie and I talked about Pete. He felt bad for having kicked him out but it had to be done for his sanity. But he also wanted to reestablish ties with him and asked me if I knew Pete’s feelings on the matter. I told him that I didn’t think that would be a problem. The conversation turned round corners and I found myself telling him about my dad and some of the things I’ve written about him. I told him of my plans to go visit my grandmother and aunt’s graves and Stevie said that, if I were up for it, he’d be happy to accompany me on a wee roadtrip. Some real manly bonding. Or something.

The phone rang and it was for me. Pete was on the other end. After establishing that it was me, he handed it over to someone else who introduced himself as a deputy sheriff. Pete had gotten a DUI and needed a ride home or else spend the night in the pokey. I agreed to fetch his ass and lied to the officer by saying that I was sober as a judge. Luckily, the officer’s shift was ending and, since he lived on this side of town, he offered to drop Pete’s drunk ass over here. While waiting for them to arrive, Stevie disappeared out the back door. Becca and I thought he was just stepping out to get some more wood for the fire but, after several minutes, he hadn’t yet returned. I wandered around outside to see where the hell he’d gone off to but found no trace of him. He hadn’t worn a jacket and I wasn’t sure just how thick the ice was on the pond. Coming back inside, it wasn’t long before Officer Friendly arrived with Pete. I signed some paperwork and had him released into my custody. Part of this Faustian bargain was that Pete was my responsibility for the next 12 hours. I referred to him as “Detainee” the rest of the night as per the paperwork bearing my signature.

Pete and I then went out to look for Stevie again and eventually found him across the pond at a neighbor’s house. Once he returned, he shared a bowl with Pete and offered him some food. The two of them got along fine as I knew they would. I drank some more liqueur-laced coffee and then gave Pete a ride to the towing company where his house keys awaited. After dropping him off at home, I came back to my own and futzed around a bit before heading to bed.

I got a late start Xmas Eve but I made it to my brother’s place on time. Andy, Carl, and I hung out and watched the first half of the Packers game at their place. Carl and I then headed off to Elkie’s to watch the 2nd half. The place was populated with a few regulars but was otherwise empty. One guy at the corner of the bar was shitfaced. While watching the game, I heard a few thumps from his area. I looked over and found that he had knocked over his bottle 4 times in a row. After the last time, there was still just a bit left in it and the exasperated bartender, a hot Polish lass, poured the rest out on him. The guy started calling her a “fucking cunt” and the like. He was a regular and they knew one another well so nothing was made of his vulgarity. Andy joined us and the Packers proceeded to win. Then it was off to my mom’s.

Xmas Eve was pretty uneventful excepting the argument. My cousin, Sue, started talking to Rusty and asked if true love were possible. The whole thing took a tangent off to separation of church & state. This got Barb dragged in as she was a judge. Fortunately, she was adamant that the wall stand. Then things wound back to relationships. Sue has been dating a guy and their relationship recently became a long-distance one. Having been “burned” by her last boyfriend, I guess she’d become a little gun-shy, so to speak. She then asked me if I ever wanted to have kids. “Nope.” Did I ever want to get married? “Nope.” She then said that the only way she’d ever get married was to have kids and she seemed ambivalent about that, at best. And so it looks like my generation on my mom’s is to be the end of the line.

Xmas Day I went out to Cary to hang with The Don and Betty and her family. It was fun. There were younger children there and it was nice to watch then get all excited when they opened their gifts. Plus I got to shoot the shit with The Don. He told me a story about my dad. The two of them were watching my brother and cousin at my old house in Chicago while my mom & aunt went shopping. They went to visit the neighbor down the street and began drinking. Then they came back to my house and drank some more. Soon they were out on the lawn throwing a ball around. At the end of the day, my dad broke his clavicle and my uncle passed out on our front lawn. He concluded the story by saying, “It took me a long time to live that one down.” I stayed out there too long and ended up driving home that night.

Driving can be alright. I get some time to myself to think things over. On the way down, I thought myself into a depression but got out of it by playing “Up Over Yonder” by the North Mississippi All-Stars really loudly and singing. On the drive back I realized that I need to make some changes in my life, need to do some things to set my mind right. The proof won’t arrive until a year from now but I’ve got some plans.

First of all, there’s my health. I want to cut down on coffee and rehydrate myself. Drink more water. Second, I want to get myself tested for STDs. I kinda got into the habit of that after dating Miss M.D. but have fallen off the wagon. And now that I know that The Dulcinea was seeing other men while we were dating and having severely unprotected sex, it seems like a really good time to get tested. Finally, I could stand to lose some weight. 50-60lbs. Must eat better and exercise.

On the intellectual front, I need to finish The Life of Pi and get on to other books that have been in the pipeline for a while now. I want to read books about things that occupy my mind. There’s a couple classes I’d like to take too.

In the large miscellaneous category, there’s a host of things. I wanna do a show on WORT, do some travel, make a documentary, publish a zine, put up a web page, continue absorbing culture, and, perhaps, move. I’ll be a literacy volunteer too. Of course, I also need a new womyn. The Dulcinea thought I slept with everything that moved and another womyn told me that she thought I could get laid at will. While neither of these are true, they are also not true now.