Etc.
Gaming went well. At the end, my cleric stood alone against a nasty 13' tall creature with 2 heads. So I cast Bull's Strength on myself and killed it. A proud moment for Severus. The creature had a wand and a gold ring so I snagged them both as my comrades lay there bleeding.
29 February, 2004
The Conversation Continues
Peter: Honesty Felicia, you don't want to hear the story. It's not very exciting and doesn't make much sense - even to me.
Felicia: Hey, you brought it up.
P: OK, OK. Let me ask you a question: What do you think human nature is?
F: What's this got to do with your story?
P: Quite a bit, actually. I'm trying to make it interesting and give context - humor me.
F: I'm not quite sure what you mean by "human nature"...
P: Well, when a person is born, do you think there's some kind of programming in place? Instincts?
F: I think there's some, yes.
P: Like what?
F: Well, like the instinct to suckle, to recognize the faces of our mother - stuff like that.
P: What about other things that are, perhaps, not related to the absolute necessities in life like nourishment. Do you think people are born with a certain disposition? Exempli gratia, are some white children born to dislike non-whites?
F: No, I think that is something people learn. Like language. No one is born knowing one but they can be taught.
P: So, what you're saying is is that people don't have specific traits built-in but rather that they have the ability to acquire them...?
F: Yeah, I think that's fair to say. I mean, isn't it obvious?
P: Well, you'd think so but it hasn't always been viewed that way.
F: Why not?
P: Take for instance, the premises that our country was founded upon. Thomas Jefferson and the rest of the Founding Fathers were heavily influenced by liberalism when they wrote the Constitution...
F: You mean they were liberals?
P: No, I mean they were influenced by classical liberalism which today is closest to libertarianism. And the earliest thinkers who contributed to liberalism were people like Thomas Hobbies, John Locke, and Jean Jacques Rousseau. They all espoused a variation of social contract theory...
F: You're losing me here. What's this got to do with human nature?
P: Patience, Grasshopper. Anyway, social contract theory is predicated on a certain view of human nature. For Hobbes, this was that men are basically beasts. He refers to the "state of nature" in which the life of men was "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short." In other words, without the structure and authority of society, people's true nature comes out - we'd go around stealing, killing, raping, pillaging and such. Capitalism is similar in that it takes for granted that people work in their own self-interest. Locke and Rousseau had a more positive spin on things. For them, the state of nature was different and more positive: we are naturally reasonable creatures. And so freedom and its preservation were paramount as was the idea that governments are not trustworthy, that the power lies with individuals who are tolerant and reasonable in a state of nature because they pursue a set of natural laws given to use by God. Since everyone is free to pursue "life, health, liberty, and possessions", they need a mechanism - contracts. Thusly the role of government is minimal. It's there merely to maintain freedom and to uphold contracts between free people who enter into them of their own volition and with an understanding of the elements of the exchange and the ramifications. For Locke, a gevernment is not there to encourage specific behaviors via any kind of paternalism. This idea lead to the idea of laissez faire capitalism. Add in some utilitarianism and a world in which people enter into contracts for things which they cannot understand and things get complicated.
F: I understand that - but isn't it true? Don't people look out only for themselves? Don't people take advantage of each other if given the opportunity? History is full of wars, and plots and murders - not only was our country founded upon the ideas of liberalism, but also the genocide of the Native Americans.
P: True, quite true. There's no doubt that people have been, are, and will be extremely cruel to one another. But, is this the only behavior, the only attitude that we are known to exhibit? I mean, have you killed anyone? Do you hate everyone you pass on the street?
F: Well, no, of course not.
P: So, why is that? Why are there countless instances of people not plotting against their neighbors, of people giving their lives in war for their country, and the like?
F: As for your first question - people fear punishment. In the second example, they do it for the greater good.
P: But why should a bunch of self-interested people care about the greater good? By definition, they're only out for themselves.
F: Well, for the safety of their families and friends.
P: Ahh...so people do sacrifice themselves for others.
F: Sometimes.
P: Sometimes. Don't people help out their friends and family? Don't we do things for those we care about without expecting something in return?
F: Yeah.
P: Don't people also donate money to charities? Do volunteer work? Help old ladies across the street? Don't we do things for strangers as well?
F: I suppose we do.
P: Don't people voluntarily live in cities? Is everyone rushing out to live in some shack out in the woods like the Unabomber? What do these bahaviors tell us about ourselves?
F: I'm not sure...
P: To me, when I look around, I certainly see lots of bad things. But I also see lots of endeavors - and some of them very complicated, very intricate - which are dedicated to being and bonding with other human beings. I mean, don't you long to find a man with whom you can not only be physically intimate but also someone to whom you can just talk with, confide in? Just someone to be yourself in front of?
F: Of course. Eveyone wants that, I think.
P: Then, in my opinion, that too is part of our nature. We need relationships of all kinds in our lives in addition to all the wars and greed, etc. Human nature is very complicated and can't be reduced, at least not on a practical level, to mere self-interest. Yet so much of our society is built around that principle.
F: So, where does human nature come from? Our genes?
P: This is where Locke comes back into play. He thought that the human mind was blank at birth - a talba rasa - and thusly people learn everything via their senses. But Locke was wrong. So, yes, it seems that we humans have a built-in nature given to us by our genes. But this doesn't make things any simpler.
F: Why not? Can't we just find out what gene does what?
P: Well, no. But even if we could, what then? There doesn't seem to be a greediness gene or any such thing like that. Except for things like hair color, it seems there are very few one-to-one correlations between genes and various effects. Genes work in concert with one another and it also seems that the environment can trigger them as well.
F: So it's not nature vs. nurture but nature and nurture.
P: Most definitely. Man is neither wholly beastly nor wholly reasonable. We have come out of the womb with quite a lot of instincts already there. We have a halo and a pair of horns.
F: So how are we to deal with the our evil sides? With all the wars and injustices? I mean, if they're part of us just as the kinder, gentler parts of ourselves?
P: I think that part of the issue that we are creatures of proximity.
F: What?
P: I mean our greatest sympathies lie with those closest to us. We are most willing to make sacrifices and give of ourselves to our family and friends and then, as people are further from our lives, the willingness diminishes. Perhaps, from the people in our everyday lives, you might go to your community next - those who lives in close proximity to you. Then your town or city. Then state and your country and so on. Thusly, I think that, if we are to move towards a world that is more peaceful and more just, we must figure out a way to make our societies, our institutions expect people to behave in more cooperative ways and make it reward such behavior. It seems that we expect the worst of people and create mechanisms to react to it rather than those which are proactive in encouraging better behavior.
F: And how do we do that?
P: Good question but I don't have an answer. No social engineer and I. But I think we have enough knowledge now to at least think about the proposition in the proper manner. Do you have any idea who you are yet?
Peter: Honesty Felicia, you don't want to hear the story. It's not very exciting and doesn't make much sense - even to me.
Felicia: Hey, you brought it up.
P: OK, OK. Let me ask you a question: What do you think human nature is?
F: What's this got to do with your story?
P: Quite a bit, actually. I'm trying to make it interesting and give context - humor me.
F: I'm not quite sure what you mean by "human nature"...
P: Well, when a person is born, do you think there's some kind of programming in place? Instincts?
F: I think there's some, yes.
P: Like what?
F: Well, like the instinct to suckle, to recognize the faces of our mother - stuff like that.
P: What about other things that are, perhaps, not related to the absolute necessities in life like nourishment. Do you think people are born with a certain disposition? Exempli gratia, are some white children born to dislike non-whites?
F: No, I think that is something people learn. Like language. No one is born knowing one but they can be taught.
P: So, what you're saying is is that people don't have specific traits built-in but rather that they have the ability to acquire them...?
F: Yeah, I think that's fair to say. I mean, isn't it obvious?
P: Well, you'd think so but it hasn't always been viewed that way.
F: Why not?
P: Take for instance, the premises that our country was founded upon. Thomas Jefferson and the rest of the Founding Fathers were heavily influenced by liberalism when they wrote the Constitution...
F: You mean they were liberals?
P: No, I mean they were influenced by classical liberalism which today is closest to libertarianism. And the earliest thinkers who contributed to liberalism were people like Thomas Hobbies, John Locke, and Jean Jacques Rousseau. They all espoused a variation of social contract theory...
F: You're losing me here. What's this got to do with human nature?
P: Patience, Grasshopper. Anyway, social contract theory is predicated on a certain view of human nature. For Hobbes, this was that men are basically beasts. He refers to the "state of nature" in which the life of men was "solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short." In other words, without the structure and authority of society, people's true nature comes out - we'd go around stealing, killing, raping, pillaging and such. Capitalism is similar in that it takes for granted that people work in their own self-interest. Locke and Rousseau had a more positive spin on things. For them, the state of nature was different and more positive: we are naturally reasonable creatures. And so freedom and its preservation were paramount as was the idea that governments are not trustworthy, that the power lies with individuals who are tolerant and reasonable in a state of nature because they pursue a set of natural laws given to use by God. Since everyone is free to pursue "life, health, liberty, and possessions", they need a mechanism - contracts. Thusly the role of government is minimal. It's there merely to maintain freedom and to uphold contracts between free people who enter into them of their own volition and with an understanding of the elements of the exchange and the ramifications. For Locke, a gevernment is not there to encourage specific behaviors via any kind of paternalism. This idea lead to the idea of laissez faire capitalism. Add in some utilitarianism and a world in which people enter into contracts for things which they cannot understand and things get complicated.
F: I understand that - but isn't it true? Don't people look out only for themselves? Don't people take advantage of each other if given the opportunity? History is full of wars, and plots and murders - not only was our country founded upon the ideas of liberalism, but also the genocide of the Native Americans.
P: True, quite true. There's no doubt that people have been, are, and will be extremely cruel to one another. But, is this the only behavior, the only attitude that we are known to exhibit? I mean, have you killed anyone? Do you hate everyone you pass on the street?
F: Well, no, of course not.
P: So, why is that? Why are there countless instances of people not plotting against their neighbors, of people giving their lives in war for their country, and the like?
F: As for your first question - people fear punishment. In the second example, they do it for the greater good.
P: But why should a bunch of self-interested people care about the greater good? By definition, they're only out for themselves.
F: Well, for the safety of their families and friends.
P: Ahh...so people do sacrifice themselves for others.
F: Sometimes.
P: Sometimes. Don't people help out their friends and family? Don't we do things for those we care about without expecting something in return?
F: Yeah.
P: Don't people also donate money to charities? Do volunteer work? Help old ladies across the street? Don't we do things for strangers as well?
F: I suppose we do.
P: Don't people voluntarily live in cities? Is everyone rushing out to live in some shack out in the woods like the Unabomber? What do these bahaviors tell us about ourselves?
F: I'm not sure...
P: To me, when I look around, I certainly see lots of bad things. But I also see lots of endeavors - and some of them very complicated, very intricate - which are dedicated to being and bonding with other human beings. I mean, don't you long to find a man with whom you can not only be physically intimate but also someone to whom you can just talk with, confide in? Just someone to be yourself in front of?
F: Of course. Eveyone wants that, I think.
P: Then, in my opinion, that too is part of our nature. We need relationships of all kinds in our lives in addition to all the wars and greed, etc. Human nature is very complicated and can't be reduced, at least not on a practical level, to mere self-interest. Yet so much of our society is built around that principle.
F: So, where does human nature come from? Our genes?
P: This is where Locke comes back into play. He thought that the human mind was blank at birth - a talba rasa - and thusly people learn everything via their senses. But Locke was wrong. So, yes, it seems that we humans have a built-in nature given to us by our genes. But this doesn't make things any simpler.
F: Why not? Can't we just find out what gene does what?
P: Well, no. But even if we could, what then? There doesn't seem to be a greediness gene or any such thing like that. Except for things like hair color, it seems there are very few one-to-one correlations between genes and various effects. Genes work in concert with one another and it also seems that the environment can trigger them as well.
F: So it's not nature vs. nurture but nature and nurture.
P: Most definitely. Man is neither wholly beastly nor wholly reasonable. We have come out of the womb with quite a lot of instincts already there. We have a halo and a pair of horns.
F: So how are we to deal with the our evil sides? With all the wars and injustices? I mean, if they're part of us just as the kinder, gentler parts of ourselves?
P: I think that part of the issue that we are creatures of proximity.
F: What?
P: I mean our greatest sympathies lie with those closest to us. We are most willing to make sacrifices and give of ourselves to our family and friends and then, as people are further from our lives, the willingness diminishes. Perhaps, from the people in our everyday lives, you might go to your community next - those who lives in close proximity to you. Then your town or city. Then state and your country and so on. Thusly, I think that, if we are to move towards a world that is more peaceful and more just, we must figure out a way to make our societies, our institutions expect people to behave in more cooperative ways and make it reward such behavior. It seems that we expect the worst of people and create mechanisms to react to it rather than those which are proactive in encouraging better behavior.
F: And how do we do that?
P: Good question but I don't have an answer. No social engineer and I. But I think we have enough knowledge now to at least think about the proposition in the proper manner. Do you have any idea who you are yet?
Lover's Leap
I've been so far from here,
Far from your warm arms.
It's good to feel you again,
It's been a long long time, such a long long time.
Hasn't it?
Happy Leap Year!
So far, I've applied for a couple jobs, imbibed not nearly enough coffee, and printed out my resume. I am highly suspicious of any company that only allows for paper applications for an IT position. It just seems...questionable...
It's nice day outside already and is set only to get nicer. I am forced to wonder why I am listening to the song "Futile".
This afternoon brings gaming. We have been absolved from catering and will instead order a za or 3. Paper resume is ready to be mailed. Shit! I forgot to sign it! Well, I can rip open the envelope and rehoolie it later. The Academy Awards are tonight. I'll be missing any parties for the occasion. Besides, these awards don't interest me much. The ones that do were handed out a couple weeks ago - the science and technology ones. Like Henrik Wann Jensen, Stephen R. Marschner and Pat Hanrahan "for their pioneering research in simulating subsurface scattering of light in translucent materials". I guess I'm just more interested in seeing people who get rewarded for their work as opposed to some popularity contest. Yeah, that's not totally fair but, to me, best actors and actresses don't interest me. The people who innovate robotic cranes for camera to make beautiful and interesting mise en scene do. Best picture doesn't interest me either but the guy who invented the system to control all those computer-generated urakai does. Whether or not Return of the King wins doesn't mean much to me - I love the movie already. But I am keen on finding out about the newest techonologies and advancements which are going to aid, abet, and/or innovate cinema. At least those folks got to have that little hottie, Jennifer Garner, emcee the proceedings even if virtually no one gave a shit.
Far from your warm arms.
It's good to feel you again,
It's been a long long time, such a long long time.
Hasn't it?
So far, I've applied for a couple jobs, imbibed not nearly enough coffee, and printed out my resume. I am highly suspicious of any company that only allows for paper applications for an IT position. It just seems...questionable...
It's nice day outside already and is set only to get nicer. I am forced to wonder why I am listening to the song "Futile".
This afternoon brings gaming. We have been absolved from catering and will instead order a za or 3. Paper resume is ready to be mailed. Shit! I forgot to sign it! Well, I can rip open the envelope and rehoolie it later. The Academy Awards are tonight. I'll be missing any parties for the occasion. Besides, these awards don't interest me much. The ones that do were handed out a couple weeks ago - the science and technology ones. Like Henrik Wann Jensen, Stephen R. Marschner and Pat Hanrahan "for their pioneering research in simulating subsurface scattering of light in translucent materials". I guess I'm just more interested in seeing people who get rewarded for their work as opposed to some popularity contest. Yeah, that's not totally fair but, to me, best actors and actresses don't interest me. The people who innovate robotic cranes for camera to make beautiful and interesting mise en scene do. Best picture doesn't interest me either but the guy who invented the system to control all those computer-generated urakai does. Whether or not Return of the King wins doesn't mean much to me - I love the movie already. But I am keen on finding out about the newest techonologies and advancements which are going to aid, abet, and/or innovate cinema. At least those folks got to have that little hottie, Jennifer Garner, emcee the proceedings even if virtually no one gave a shit.
28 February, 2004
Oooh, Loneliness and Ben & Jerry's Is a Bad Mix
Oh
my
God
I just ate an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's New York Chunk Heart Stopper. I feel so bloated - like a corpse. At least I'm not hungry anymore. And I've calmed down too. I went to a woman's house to help her with her computer and what, was described to me as a 10 minute gig turned in 4.5 hours which saw me driving back and forth between a house and a business. She said she just needed to know how to move her Quickbooks data between computers. Then I have to teach her how to burn CDs, how to register Quickbooks, and how to use this absolutely horrid service that Intuit pushes called Remote Access. What a piece of crap. But I installed it anyway because she's gonna have to call back.
On the upside, it was some decent cash and I got to draw with crayons along with one of her daughters who was extremely cute. She had two of them, actually - 2 and 3 years old, respectively - and they were both so cute! I was just standing there when one of the girls grabbed my thumb and led me a sheet of paper on the floor with a purple crayon lying next to it. So I sat down on floor and did my best to help fill in a big face before continuing with getting the PC working as it should.
Anyway, I got home much later than I expected so I've missed my chance to play trivia at Neil's Diamond. So I've stuffed myself and have completely lost my train of thought.
I think I may puke now...
Oh
my
God
I just ate an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's New York Chunk Heart Stopper. I feel so bloated - like a corpse. At least I'm not hungry anymore. And I've calmed down too. I went to a woman's house to help her with her computer and what, was described to me as a 10 minute gig turned in 4.5 hours which saw me driving back and forth between a house and a business. She said she just needed to know how to move her Quickbooks data between computers. Then I have to teach her how to burn CDs, how to register Quickbooks, and how to use this absolutely horrid service that Intuit pushes called Remote Access. What a piece of crap. But I installed it anyway because she's gonna have to call back.
On the upside, it was some decent cash and I got to draw with crayons along with one of her daughters who was extremely cute. She had two of them, actually - 2 and 3 years old, respectively - and they were both so cute! I was just standing there when one of the girls grabbed my thumb and led me a sheet of paper on the floor with a purple crayon lying next to it. So I sat down on floor and did my best to help fill in a big face before continuing with getting the PC working as it should.
Anyway, I got home much later than I expected so I've missed my chance to play trivia at Neil's Diamond. So I've stuffed myself and have completely lost my train of thought.
I think I may puke now...
27 February, 2004
Hrothgar's Hall
Along the forest path he roams to Hrothgar's hall so clear
He knows that victory is secured, his charm will testify
His claws will drip with mortal blood as moonbeams haunt the sky
I've been watching some episodes concerning Bushy, Iraq, and our foreign policy. One profiled Paul Wolfowitz and his fellow hawks such as Rummy and Cheney. I didn't know that Wolfowitz was the latest Hank Kissinger. Now I'm watching a look at whether or not the U.S. was prepared for the aftermath of our invasion of Iraq. What a clusterfuck. I can only wonder which country we'll invade next.
I think I know what's gonna happen next. Whenever I digest multiple exposes on corruption, greed, war, and so on, I go on a mean lefty streak. Usually this involves, amongst other things, is lighting the fires of various people and starting debates. Not a good way to make friends. A good way to lose some too.
States of Mind
Right now, I am intensely pissed off. Aside from any stupid drama in my own life, I have watched a few documentaries that really got under my craw. All the bureaucratic bullshit that prevented US intelligence from preventing 9/11, the crooked politicians, all the people out there getting screwed over by large corporations that do nothing but piss down our backs and tell us it's raining...I just want to punch some CEO out right how! And the majority of Congress too! And the executive branch and the judicial branch...It seems like the American populace is majestic in their stupidity.
Well, I finally got word on the job:
"The position was filled with another external applicant."
That settles that matter, at least. I am also awaiting word from another contracting company. I can only presume more bad news awaits me...signing off..
Well, I finally got word on the job:
That settles that matter, at least. I am also awaiting word from another contracting company. I can only presume more bad news awaits me...signing off..
Coffee, I Love Thee - Let Me Count the Ways
OK. I'm watching this documentary about alternative medicine and it's very interesting. Then comes the scene where a doctor at some alternative hospital/clinic hoolie tells a man with pancreatic cancer that he'll need to give himself 4 coffee enemas daily with organic coffee. And the doctor says that he's been doing it for like 20 years. Coffee - is there anything it can't do?
Can I Be Late For My Cinema Show?
I spent last night watching Frontline which had a documentary about the war in Iraq. Very interesting stuff. So, I went up to pbs.org to do some reading and learn more about the program and its subject. While there, I noticed that they have some episodes archived and you can watch them online. So I watched the show called "American Porn" as a friend had seen it and told me about it. While it was interesting, it didn't tell me too much that I didn't know already. But, like I said, it was interesting to see the interviews with the makers of porn. Unfortunately, it was only an hour long and left a lot unexplored and didn't go very deeply into some of the questions it raised. Now I'm watching an episode about American children, ADHD, Ritalin, etc. I've ranted about this before so I won't go into it again but I will say how crappy Real One is. Regardless of what you have to say of Windows and Microsoft generally, Windows Media streams a lot better than Real Player. Ooh! There's an episode on alternative medicine. Considering I just finished reading a book on Chinese medicine, this seems appropriate. Of course, I'm having problems with the high quality setting. I do have a cable modem - why can I not get video? Cold boot, I guess.
I am seriously considering going to see The Passion of the Christ this afternoon. It's being shown on the Ultrascreen on the other side of town. An Ultrascreen is 3 stories tall and slightly-curved. (Technically the screen is 32' tall by 75' wide - that's 9.75 by 22.86 meters - with 8,000 watts of six-channel Dolby Digital and Dolby Surround EX sound, THX certified sound, and a picture illuminated by 7,500 watts of light.) So I can see your savior and mine suffer in mega-huge graphic glory and super-surround digital sound. I don't know about you, but I love sitting right up front at the cinema. I enjoy being engulfed by the image and having to turn my head to see the entire frame. I saw 2001: A Space Odyssey there on the Ultrascreen - probably the closest I'll ever get in my life to seeing the film in its native Cinerama format. For me, it was a liturgy. It was so fucking intense - I just got lost - and that tears welled in my eyes on a couple occasions. I'm sorry but watching these apes doing their thing while being surrounded by a massive chorus wailing loudly enough to vibrate my entire body just gets to me.
After having read reviews by Roger Ebert and A.O. Scott, I am looking forward to an intense, emotional roller coaster ride. I want it to move me in one way or another. I have a 52" television which makes watching DVDs, for me, a better experience than watching it on my 32" TV. But the cinema has a special power. It has the potential to move me in a unique way, a way that only sitting in a seat and being dwarfed by and immersed in a film can.
I am seriously considering going to see The Passion of the Christ this afternoon. It's being shown on the Ultrascreen on the other side of town. An Ultrascreen is 3 stories tall and slightly-curved. (Technically the screen is 32' tall by 75' wide - that's 9.75 by 22.86 meters - with 8,000 watts of six-channel Dolby Digital and Dolby Surround EX sound, THX certified sound, and a picture illuminated by 7,500 watts of light.) So I can see your savior and mine suffer in mega-huge graphic glory and super-surround digital sound. I don't know about you, but I love sitting right up front at the cinema. I enjoy being engulfed by the image and having to turn my head to see the entire frame. I saw 2001: A Space Odyssey there on the Ultrascreen - probably the closest I'll ever get in my life to seeing the film in its native Cinerama format. For me, it was a liturgy. It was so fucking intense - I just got lost - and that tears welled in my eyes on a couple occasions. I'm sorry but watching these apes doing their thing while being surrounded by a massive chorus wailing loudly enough to vibrate my entire body just gets to me.
After having read reviews by Roger Ebert and A.O. Scott, I am looking forward to an intense, emotional roller coaster ride. I want it to move me in one way or another. I have a 52" television which makes watching DVDs, for me, a better experience than watching it on my 32" TV. But the cinema has a special power. It has the potential to move me in a unique way, a way that only sitting in a seat and being dwarfed by and immersed in a film can.
26 February, 2004
Woe Betide My Johns0n
Jesus! I thought I was watching PBS when I was assailed by multiple sorties of commercials so I punched the clicker to put on PBS and found that I was in fact already watching it. I feel old now because I can remember the days when there were no commercials on PBS. Unfortunately it's a boring night on Wisconsin Public Television as some Antiques Roadshow-like program is next rather than anything substantial. Well, I guess I'll watch C-SPAN as they're showing the lying, er, testimonies of various CEOs of media conglomerates before some Congressional decency council or other. There's Mr. Hogan - Howard Stern's boss - kissing major Congressional ass. It's sort of funny to see him acquiescing to a representative from Michigan in a low-angle shot. Again, the cinephile in me comes out. Mr. Hogan, no doubt, is extremely wealthy - he must be a multimillionaire several times over - and can there be much doubt that, as he and his company got rich, that they didn't think twice about the vulgar crap they put on the airwaves? Oh man! Fox's Entertainment President is there too. She is committing perjury! (OK, she's just lying.) She is sitting there feigning that she gives a flying fuck about quality programming, that she cares about any standards of decency. It's now a parade of we-will-take-it-into-serious-consideration's. My TV is absolutely bleeding sycophancy.
Here's a great subject line: "beef up the size of your johns0n!"
Here's a great subject line: "beef up the size of your johns0n!"
23 February, 2004
The Conversation Continues
P: ...It's huge - bigger than anything here on Earth.
F: OK.
P: Now imagine that it is surrounded by landscape on all sides of varying types. One area is a desert, another a tundra, another a temperate clime, and so on.
F: Are you saying life is like the weather?
P: No, no. So you've got this terrain - this mountain and the areas at its base. Now, the top of the mountain is the goal - happiness. And paths of various types lead up the side of the mountain.
F: Alright, I can picture this mountain of yours.
P: You have people living in the various areas. They do what everyone does: eat, sleep, dream, do the nasty...and seek happiness. So they all want to reach the summit of that mountain but, in order to do so, they must first traverse the land in which they live. Desert people must roam across vast stretches of sand and contend with drought; people living in cold areas must trudge through snow and struggle to keep themselves warm and so forth. And this only gets them to base of the mountain. From there, they must make the difficult, hazardous climb up to the top.
F: Big whoop. So people each have their own way of finding happiness...
P: Yeah, it's kind of lousy analogy, isn't it? Look at what it does illustrate: people find happiness in different ways as their lives are unique in many ways - life in the forest is different than life in the desert. But there's similarity too as everyone has to climb the mountain. And climbing the mountain - finding happiness - is not easy, it's a struggle. As Aristotle said, happiness comes through "study and care" and not by chance.
F: I thought you said that those books didn't help...?
P: Well, hindsight is 20/20. Besides, quoting Aristotle is a good way to fool people into thinking you're smart.
F: Look, I see what you're saying but it doesn't really help me. It doesn't tell me how to be happy - just some allegory about how hard it is for people to find happiness. I still feel that there really is no purpose to live. I think all living organisms on this planet have it built into them the need to survive and copulate no matter what. So as humans we've created religion, destiny, need, desire, wealth, and all these other things that are supposed to give reason to life. But at times I'm aware that whether or not any of my dreams are fulfilled is irrelevant in the scheme of things. They're just there to give my brain something to focus on so I keep existing.
P: Felicia, either you've missed my point or I haven't made it very well. Remember what I said about my having read all those books and not finding an answer? I can't give you an answer - only way to think about things because, as with the mountain, finding happiness is not exactly the same for everyone. And think about what you just told me. What is this "scheme of things"? Do you really care if you end up in some history book? And do you honestly believe that needs and desires are just things people invented thousands of years ago?
F: Well, no, but they're just byproducts, they're ways of finding a mate. It's our genes' way of getting the best possible person to have offspring with.
P: In a certain sense, I agree with you. But I think what you're doing is confusing what are called proximate and ultimate causes. Your genes aren't doing these cost-beneift analyses like Alan Greenspan inside of your body. Saying that such things are the result of our genes selecting this over that is misleading. Our genes "do" such things or have that behavior only when viewed in the grand scheme of things, as you like to say, over a long, long period of time. Our passions, our needs and desires - they're real and they're genuine and they're immediate. Your genes and mine, they don't sit around plotting Machiavellian schemes. Instead you and I, we sit around thinking about love, friendship, and so on.
F: So...
P: Someone once said that those who care about legislation and sausages should not see them being made. The same goes for our emotions. While amoral and uncaring genes may ultimately be responsible for things, it is the proximate, the nearer causes that concern us. "What can I do to make myself happy?", "Who can I love?", and the like.
F: So you're saying that the things that are important to me are that way because they're important to me.
P: Hey, nice tautology! Yes, that's what I'm saying. Your passions and desires are important because they're what colors your life, gives it meaning, and makes you happy.
F: So, what happened to you? What happened after you read all those philosophers and got nothing out of them?
P: Oh, it's a boring story and I don't want to bore you.
F: Bore me.
F: OK.
P: Now imagine that it is surrounded by landscape on all sides of varying types. One area is a desert, another a tundra, another a temperate clime, and so on.
F: Are you saying life is like the weather?
P: No, no. So you've got this terrain - this mountain and the areas at its base. Now, the top of the mountain is the goal - happiness. And paths of various types lead up the side of the mountain.
F: Alright, I can picture this mountain of yours.
P: You have people living in the various areas. They do what everyone does: eat, sleep, dream, do the nasty...and seek happiness. So they all want to reach the summit of that mountain but, in order to do so, they must first traverse the land in which they live. Desert people must roam across vast stretches of sand and contend with drought; people living in cold areas must trudge through snow and struggle to keep themselves warm and so forth. And this only gets them to base of the mountain. From there, they must make the difficult, hazardous climb up to the top.
F: Big whoop. So people each have their own way of finding happiness...
P: Yeah, it's kind of lousy analogy, isn't it? Look at what it does illustrate: people find happiness in different ways as their lives are unique in many ways - life in the forest is different than life in the desert. But there's similarity too as everyone has to climb the mountain. And climbing the mountain - finding happiness - is not easy, it's a struggle. As Aristotle said, happiness comes through "study and care" and not by chance.
F: I thought you said that those books didn't help...?
P: Well, hindsight is 20/20. Besides, quoting Aristotle is a good way to fool people into thinking you're smart.
F: Look, I see what you're saying but it doesn't really help me. It doesn't tell me how to be happy - just some allegory about how hard it is for people to find happiness. I still feel that there really is no purpose to live. I think all living organisms on this planet have it built into them the need to survive and copulate no matter what. So as humans we've created religion, destiny, need, desire, wealth, and all these other things that are supposed to give reason to life. But at times I'm aware that whether or not any of my dreams are fulfilled is irrelevant in the scheme of things. They're just there to give my brain something to focus on so I keep existing.
P: Felicia, either you've missed my point or I haven't made it very well. Remember what I said about my having read all those books and not finding an answer? I can't give you an answer - only way to think about things because, as with the mountain, finding happiness is not exactly the same for everyone. And think about what you just told me. What is this "scheme of things"? Do you really care if you end up in some history book? And do you honestly believe that needs and desires are just things people invented thousands of years ago?
F: Well, no, but they're just byproducts, they're ways of finding a mate. It's our genes' way of getting the best possible person to have offspring with.
P: In a certain sense, I agree with you. But I think what you're doing is confusing what are called proximate and ultimate causes. Your genes aren't doing these cost-beneift analyses like Alan Greenspan inside of your body. Saying that such things are the result of our genes selecting this over that is misleading. Our genes "do" such things or have that behavior only when viewed in the grand scheme of things, as you like to say, over a long, long period of time. Our passions, our needs and desires - they're real and they're genuine and they're immediate. Your genes and mine, they don't sit around plotting Machiavellian schemes. Instead you and I, we sit around thinking about love, friendship, and so on.
F: So...
P: Someone once said that those who care about legislation and sausages should not see them being made. The same goes for our emotions. While amoral and uncaring genes may ultimately be responsible for things, it is the proximate, the nearer causes that concern us. "What can I do to make myself happy?", "Who can I love?", and the like.
F: So you're saying that the things that are important to me are that way because they're important to me.
P: Hey, nice tautology! Yes, that's what I'm saying. Your passions and desires are important because they're what colors your life, gives it meaning, and makes you happy.
F: So, what happened to you? What happened after you read all those philosophers and got nothing out of them?
P: Oh, it's a boring story and I don't want to bore you.
F: Bore me.
A Conversation
It is a cold, dark night. Peter sits at home alone reading a book when he hears a knock at the door.
Peter: Felicia? Come in! Come in! You're shivering!
Felicia: Thank you. Brrr...
P: What are you doing out wandering at this late hour?
F: I went out for a walk so I could think a little and try to clear my head. It didn't work and I realized I was in your neighborhood so I decided to stop in and talk to you. I'm not bugging you, am I?
P: Of course not! Here, let me take your coat. Please, sit down by the fire and warm yourself.
F: Thank you.
P: Now, what was it you wished to speak to me about?
F: I...I need to know the answer to a question.
P: What question is that?
F: "Who am I?"
P: Why you're Felicia, of course.
F: I know, but who is Felicia?
P: Are you OK, my dear?
F: Sometimes...sometimes I need someone to tell all my secrets to and not be judged. But I suppose they're too dull and boring to confess to you. I'm sorry, I don't want to bore you. I should go...
P: No, no - don't be silly. What's wrong?
F: I don't know. I just feel like...like I don't know what to feel. Nothing in my life seems to be going right. A mediocre job. I want to go to college but can't. And I feel so alone, at times. I want to be learning, to be living and to have someone hold me when I need that too. I'm tired of a dull life and having no purpose. I'm tired of thinking too much. I'm tired of wanting things I'm not really sure I want. I want adventure and someone to share it with.
P: Ah...I think I am beginning to understand your dilemma - a bout with existential angst. Are you going to ask me what the meaning of life is next?
F: Ha ha. But tell me the meaning of life anyway. I think I'm beyond all help.
P: Now, don't say that. Let me try and answer the easy question first.
F: Which one? Why my life is so dull?
P: No, the meaning of life.
F: Jesus, if you think that one's easy...
P: You know, I once felt as you do.
F: Really?
P: Of course! Everyone asks big questions. Everyone feels that way at some time.
F: Well how did you get over it?
P: I don't know - it just happened of its own accord.
F: How?
P: If I remember correctly, the first thing I did was to read various things written by philosophers and bits from the texts of the great religions - Plato, Kierkegaard, Descartes, Chuang Tzu, the Bible...
F: Did they help?
P: No, not one bit. I didn't read them correctly, you see.
F: What do you mean?
P: Have you ever seen a commerical for a movie and thought that it looked good? And then you pay your money to see it and it's nothing like the commercial? And you didn't like it at all?
F: Yes - more times than I can count.
P: Think of it that way then. All those great thinkers and all those ideas - none of them seemed to speak to me and my life. They just seemed to give me more questions to ask. I read them expecting to be presented with answers that I could then use. But there were none. Only ideas - ways to look at the problems. Men and women have been asking the same questions since time immemorial yet there's no right answer.
F: Oh, I feel muuuch better now.
P: Well, you haven't let me finish, Ms. Sarcasm. I suppose if you believe in a god then the meaning of life is laid out before you because you'll have some text to tell you what it is and you are left to merely follow a prescribed course. So for a Christian, let's say, the meaning of life is to get into Heaven. Thusly, Christians try to live lives according the standards of good delineated in the Bible so they can pass through the pearly gates with a clean bill of spiritual health from Saint Peter.
F: But I thought you were an atheist...?
P: I am.
F: So...I don't understand.
P: I was asking the wrong question. The question "Why don't monkeys fly out of my butt?" is legitimate only if monkeys do that, if they have the property of flying and flying out of the anuses of their fellow simians.
F: Now you're getting gross.
P: Sorry. But it's one of those phrases I find funny and captures the essence of my point. Monkey don't do that sort of thing so the question is irrelevant. There is no meaning to life because this presupposes a being that created life with some plan in mind that is opaque to we mortals and that this being expects us to puzzle it out. Asking what the meaning of life is assumes that there is a meaning to be had. But why must there be one? How can there be one if there is no supernatural entity, no external force to give meaning?
F: I think I see what you're saying...
P: The question shouldn't be "What is the meaning to life?" but rather "How can I give my life meaning?" or "How can I be happy?".
F: Alright. I see what you're getting at. So, when you figured out that you were asking the wrong question, did you find happiness?
P: Oh, heavens no.
F: So even if I change the question, I still won't feel happy. How can I be happy?
P: Now, that is a very tough question. When I started asking the right questions, it was just a beginning. But I didn't look under my nose. That came later. Now, imagine a very tall mountain...
Peter: Felicia? Come in! Come in! You're shivering!
Felicia: Thank you. Brrr...
P: What are you doing out wandering at this late hour?
F: I went out for a walk so I could think a little and try to clear my head. It didn't work and I realized I was in your neighborhood so I decided to stop in and talk to you. I'm not bugging you, am I?
P: Of course not! Here, let me take your coat. Please, sit down by the fire and warm yourself.
F: Thank you.
P: Now, what was it you wished to speak to me about?
F: I...I need to know the answer to a question.
P: What question is that?
F: "Who am I?"
P: Why you're Felicia, of course.
F: I know, but who is Felicia?
P: Are you OK, my dear?
F: Sometimes...sometimes I need someone to tell all my secrets to and not be judged. But I suppose they're too dull and boring to confess to you. I'm sorry, I don't want to bore you. I should go...
P: No, no - don't be silly. What's wrong?
F: I don't know. I just feel like...like I don't know what to feel. Nothing in my life seems to be going right. A mediocre job. I want to go to college but can't. And I feel so alone, at times. I want to be learning, to be living and to have someone hold me when I need that too. I'm tired of a dull life and having no purpose. I'm tired of thinking too much. I'm tired of wanting things I'm not really sure I want. I want adventure and someone to share it with.
P: Ah...I think I am beginning to understand your dilemma - a bout with existential angst. Are you going to ask me what the meaning of life is next?
F: Ha ha. But tell me the meaning of life anyway. I think I'm beyond all help.
P: Now, don't say that. Let me try and answer the easy question first.
F: Which one? Why my life is so dull?
P: No, the meaning of life.
F: Jesus, if you think that one's easy...
P: You know, I once felt as you do.
F: Really?
P: Of course! Everyone asks big questions. Everyone feels that way at some time.
F: Well how did you get over it?
P: I don't know - it just happened of its own accord.
F: How?
P: If I remember correctly, the first thing I did was to read various things written by philosophers and bits from the texts of the great religions - Plato, Kierkegaard, Descartes, Chuang Tzu, the Bible...
F: Did they help?
P: No, not one bit. I didn't read them correctly, you see.
F: What do you mean?
P: Have you ever seen a commerical for a movie and thought that it looked good? And then you pay your money to see it and it's nothing like the commercial? And you didn't like it at all?
F: Yes - more times than I can count.
P: Think of it that way then. All those great thinkers and all those ideas - none of them seemed to speak to me and my life. They just seemed to give me more questions to ask. I read them expecting to be presented with answers that I could then use. But there were none. Only ideas - ways to look at the problems. Men and women have been asking the same questions since time immemorial yet there's no right answer.
F: Oh, I feel muuuch better now.
P: Well, you haven't let me finish, Ms. Sarcasm. I suppose if you believe in a god then the meaning of life is laid out before you because you'll have some text to tell you what it is and you are left to merely follow a prescribed course. So for a Christian, let's say, the meaning of life is to get into Heaven. Thusly, Christians try to live lives according the standards of good delineated in the Bible so they can pass through the pearly gates with a clean bill of spiritual health from Saint Peter.
F: But I thought you were an atheist...?
P: I am.
F: So...I don't understand.
P: I was asking the wrong question. The question "Why don't monkeys fly out of my butt?" is legitimate only if monkeys do that, if they have the property of flying and flying out of the anuses of their fellow simians.
F: Now you're getting gross.
P: Sorry. But it's one of those phrases I find funny and captures the essence of my point. Monkey don't do that sort of thing so the question is irrelevant. There is no meaning to life because this presupposes a being that created life with some plan in mind that is opaque to we mortals and that this being expects us to puzzle it out. Asking what the meaning of life is assumes that there is a meaning to be had. But why must there be one? How can there be one if there is no supernatural entity, no external force to give meaning?
F: I think I see what you're saying...
P: The question shouldn't be "What is the meaning to life?" but rather "How can I give my life meaning?" or "How can I be happy?".
F: Alright. I see what you're getting at. So, when you figured out that you were asking the wrong question, did you find happiness?
P: Oh, heavens no.
F: So even if I change the question, I still won't feel happy. How can I be happy?
P: Now, that is a very tough question. When I started asking the right questions, it was just a beginning. But I didn't look under my nose. That came later. Now, imagine a very tall mountain...
Partial Oneiric Recollection
I had this dream last night which, upon waking, put me in an odd mood. Rather grumpy, truth be known.
I was at a school Don't remember if I was a student or a teacher or what. In the dream, I am traversing the halls, wandering through classes and an ex-girlfriend keeps coming up to me asking to have some of my time to talk. For some reason, I think she was trying to sell something as she was carring a box around with her. And, each time she approaches me, I tell her to fuck off and leave me alone. Just when I think I've lost her or she's given up, she returns, she keeps pestering me...
I was at a school Don't remember if I was a student or a teacher or what. In the dream, I am traversing the halls, wandering through classes and an ex-girlfriend keeps coming up to me asking to have some of my time to talk. For some reason, I think she was trying to sell something as she was carring a box around with her. And, each time she approaches me, I tell her to fuck off and leave me alone. Just when I think I've lost her or she's given up, she returns, she keeps pestering me...
20 February, 2004
Am I Naughty or Nice?
OK. Change for tollway. Check. Address and phone # of recruiter. Check. Cell phone? Check. Favorite tie (medieval manuscript with illumination)? Check. Pocket watch? Check. Is it wound? Check. Car fueled? Check. Crappy rainy weather to turn to snow and ice? Check.
Everyone who requested a CD - hang tight. I'll get around to them as soon as I can. Ditto for cookies.
Now where is my umbrella...?
Everyone who requested a CD - hang tight. I'll get around to them as soon as I can. Ditto for cookies.
Now where is my umbrella...?
19 February, 2004
Nocturne
OK. Tomorrow. Job interview. Chicago. Recruiter sounds like nice guy. Too nice. Good news is, the manager who is hiring said that I'm just what he's looking for. Bad news is, I'd probably start Monday. Short notice to move my ass to another city. Ah well. Someone will put me up for a few days until I can find an apartment or a roommate. Living with my mother again would be odd. Maybe if I plead with my brother and his roommate they'll let me crash there. Hey, his roomie did say that, if I got a job down there, I could stay at their apartment for 72 hours. No more, no less. I need to get a hold of another friend down there...
Good Luck, Bill
AP - NEW YORK - Bill Moyers, whose weekly magazine "Now" on PBS has capped a 30-year career in TV journalism, is leaving the broadcast after the November elections.
This saddens me. I've watched Bill Moyers on PBS since I was a kid. It seems like all the old-time journalists who just didn't wave the flag and call people names are leaving television and, worst of all, not being replaced. People who took the time to explore an issue, people who delved into complicated areas which require more than 30 seconds to be explained. Buckley left TV several years ago. Does anyone remember those roundtable debates that PBS used to show that were hosted by Edward R. Murrow's partner in crime, Fred Friendly? They took place at a university, in a lecture hall that looked like an old operating theater. The panelists sat in a circle and Friendly would moderate from the middle. Each discussion had maybe a dozen panelists. I remember the one about abortion. You had a lawyer, a theologian, a judge, a doctor - people from all sorts of fields to being their knowledge and opinions to bear upon the topic.
I remember watching it with such great anticipation. Those were my kind of people, even if we disagreed. They trafficked in ideas. No flashy artifice. Concepts were slowly and deliberately elaborated upon with skill and precision. The payoff of prehension was not immediate and required some thinking on my part. Somehow, as a boy I had the patience to listen and do my best to absorb what the speakers had said and to connect the dots. I even had to consult the dictionary occasionally too. But, if I hadn't, I would have missed something, wouldn't have understood someone's view and their argument.
It's so hard to find such discussion on TV today. When I was a boy, I was taught patience, to take my time and explain things thoroughly. Then I grew up and found that concision and simplicity were the order of the day. And, honestly, I've never really adjusted to this mentality. No idea or news event is worth anything if it's left to stand alone. Without context, without showing its relation to other things, its useless. Economic/business news is great this way.
A stray comment by Alan Greenspan or a statistic is thrown at you and is supposed to mean something. But, for us non-economists, they're devoid of significance. If manufacturing goes up 0.3% in a given quarter or the dollar is trading weaker against the Euro, what does that mean to me? I'm just seeing random numbers and not being given any way to sort out what they mean. Here's something that has meaning to me in business news that gets left out generally: labor news. I'm not a corporate CEO nor a stocker trader nor in the futures market. What affects me? The fate of those striking workers at the Tyson plant in nearby Jefferson. Greenspan's cryptic quotes have virtuality no utility for me. But hearing about those workers does. I bowl with them. The local economy is affected by that plant. Ray-o-Vac moved most of their company out of Madison recently. My friend of mine lost his job along with hundreds of others. The distribution plant was moved to Dixon, Illinois where there's no union and the starting salary of a warehouse guy was cut down to $7.00/hour. How people like me are faring - that's what the media ought to be covering. WalMart, Target, and such stores didn't have a great Xmas season but high-end retailers did. Could this have anything to do with Bushy's tax cuts that benefitted the wealthy? Whenever the government cuts taxes, every news show should have at least 2 economists come on for at least 2 commercial-free hours to disect and discuss it. Instead we get a sound bite barrage of he said-she said bullshit.
That's just my opinion - I could be wrong.
This saddens me. I've watched Bill Moyers on PBS since I was a kid. It seems like all the old-time journalists who just didn't wave the flag and call people names are leaving television and, worst of all, not being replaced. People who took the time to explore an issue, people who delved into complicated areas which require more than 30 seconds to be explained. Buckley left TV several years ago. Does anyone remember those roundtable debates that PBS used to show that were hosted by Edward R. Murrow's partner in crime, Fred Friendly? They took place at a university, in a lecture hall that looked like an old operating theater. The panelists sat in a circle and Friendly would moderate from the middle. Each discussion had maybe a dozen panelists. I remember the one about abortion. You had a lawyer, a theologian, a judge, a doctor - people from all sorts of fields to being their knowledge and opinions to bear upon the topic.
I remember watching it with such great anticipation. Those were my kind of people, even if we disagreed. They trafficked in ideas. No flashy artifice. Concepts were slowly and deliberately elaborated upon with skill and precision. The payoff of prehension was not immediate and required some thinking on my part. Somehow, as a boy I had the patience to listen and do my best to absorb what the speakers had said and to connect the dots. I even had to consult the dictionary occasionally too. But, if I hadn't, I would have missed something, wouldn't have understood someone's view and their argument.
It's so hard to find such discussion on TV today. When I was a boy, I was taught patience, to take my time and explain things thoroughly. Then I grew up and found that concision and simplicity were the order of the day. And, honestly, I've never really adjusted to this mentality. No idea or news event is worth anything if it's left to stand alone. Without context, without showing its relation to other things, its useless. Economic/business news is great this way.
A stray comment by Alan Greenspan or a statistic is thrown at you and is supposed to mean something. But, for us non-economists, they're devoid of significance. If manufacturing goes up 0.3% in a given quarter or the dollar is trading weaker against the Euro, what does that mean to me? I'm just seeing random numbers and not being given any way to sort out what they mean. Here's something that has meaning to me in business news that gets left out generally: labor news. I'm not a corporate CEO nor a stocker trader nor in the futures market. What affects me? The fate of those striking workers at the Tyson plant in nearby Jefferson. Greenspan's cryptic quotes have virtuality no utility for me. But hearing about those workers does. I bowl with them. The local economy is affected by that plant. Ray-o-Vac moved most of their company out of Madison recently. My friend of mine lost his job along with hundreds of others. The distribution plant was moved to Dixon, Illinois where there's no union and the starting salary of a warehouse guy was cut down to $7.00/hour. How people like me are faring - that's what the media ought to be covering. WalMart, Target, and such stores didn't have a great Xmas season but high-end retailers did. Could this have anything to do with Bushy's tax cuts that benefitted the wealthy? Whenever the government cuts taxes, every news show should have at least 2 economists come on for at least 2 commercial-free hours to disect and discuss it. Instead we get a sound bite barrage of he said-she said bullshit.
That's just my opinion - I could be wrong.
18 February, 2004
The Camera Eye
these seconds, minutes when my courage was facing an extremely beautiful woman, a stranger, knew no limits, were later a mystery to me but far greater mysteries were to come I naturally had no idea at the time the only thing on my mind as the train reached the station was whether she would get off the train here to my relief she remained sitting even when the train came to a halt she remained focused on her book and its secret taxt that was flowing into her mind what was it she was reading? much to my astonisment I noticed that she had put a hand on her thigh, right above her knee, but she did not let it rest there it pressed her dress against her skin and slowly, exceedingly slowly, moved upwards, pulling her dress along as it moved, to reveal more and more of her thigh I could not help looking it felt as if my body were levitating, weightlessly from the clammy seat, rose and became one with the Pslams of David now I could not must not look any longer I squeezed my eyes shut and whispered internally Sin, this is Sin which clothed our Redeemer's head with thorms and pierced His heart, which put Him through suffering, sorrow, pain and anguish
her breath
her lips, the invisible droplets
then she asked if I had a pen she could use
I produced a pen from my breast pocket and handed it to her
then she leafed through her book, to the last, blank page, and started drawing she drew quickly and precisely what could it be? circles and lines, it looked like geometric figures, complicated patterns the terrain outside the compartment window glided past but I paid no attention to the changing scenery I tried to follow the lines, her movements, her slender fingers, no rings, discreet nail polish she was drawing meticulously and determinedly while lifting her eyes from time to time to look at me, making sure I was paying attention to her this interaction, I felt certain, must lead to something or other
she was done
she nodded, apparently satisfied
then she carefully tore the page from the book and handed it to me &I took it and thanked her, but for what? I naturally did not know at the time that I should not only have thanked her but I ought to have sunk to my knees and kissed the floor beneath her shoes the drawing I held in my hand, of which I understood absolutely nothing, despite having examined it closely, was destined to, over the following days and months, precipitate a revolution in my soul I remained sitting with the piece of paper in my hand until the train, quite unexpectedly, stopped at a tiny, nameless spot outside Santiago then, hastily, the girl got up
"if you decipher this drawing, you shall learn what truly is concealed in heaven" she said
then she smiled an impish goodbye and stepped off the train the platform was on the opposite side of the compartment so I didn't have a chance to wave before the train forged ahead
her breath
her lips, the invisible droplets
then she asked if I had a pen she could use
I produced a pen from my breast pocket and handed it to her
then she leafed through her book, to the last, blank page, and started drawing she drew quickly and precisely what could it be? circles and lines, it looked like geometric figures, complicated patterns the terrain outside the compartment window glided past but I paid no attention to the changing scenery I tried to follow the lines, her movements, her slender fingers, no rings, discreet nail polish she was drawing meticulously and determinedly while lifting her eyes from time to time to look at me, making sure I was paying attention to her this interaction, I felt certain, must lead to something or other
she was done
she nodded, apparently satisfied
then she carefully tore the page from the book and handed it to me &I took it and thanked her, but for what? I naturally did not know at the time that I should not only have thanked her but I ought to have sunk to my knees and kissed the floor beneath her shoes the drawing I held in my hand, of which I understood absolutely nothing, despite having examined it closely, was destined to, over the following days and months, precipitate a revolution in my soul I remained sitting with the piece of paper in my hand until the train, quite unexpectedly, stopped at a tiny, nameless spot outside Santiago then, hastily, the girl got up
"if you decipher this drawing, you shall learn what truly is concealed in heaven" she said
then she smiled an impish goodbye and stepped off the train the platform was on the opposite side of the compartment so I didn't have a chance to wave before the train forged ahead
Newsreel
Two trucks packed with explosives blew up Wednesday outside a Polish-run base south of Baghdad after coalition forces opened fire on the suicide bombers racing toward them. Eight Iraqi civilians were killed and at least 65 people were wounded, many of them coalition soldiers.
AT LEAST 8 IRAQIS KILLED IN TRUCK ATTACK
Le soleil emergea de la montagne
les vagues se deroulerent sur la baie
Gay and lesbian couples from Europe and more than 20 states have lined up outside the ornate San Francisco City Hall since city officials decided to begin marrying same-sex couples six days ago. City officials said 172 couples were married Tuesday, a pace that would bring the total number who have taken vows promising to be "spouses for life" to over 3,000 by Friday.
BUSH TROUBLED BY GAY MARRIAGE ISSUE
de fabuleux oiseaux de couleurs flamboyantes s'envolerent
Dean, who went winless in 17 caucuses and primaries after falling from leading contender early in the year, does not intend to endorse either John Kerry or John Edwards, a campaign aide told The Associated Press on condition of anonymity. Dean has been impressed with Edwards and suggested on the campaign trail that he would make a better nominee, but Dean has decided to stay out of the Kerry-Edwards contest, the aide said.
DEAN TO LEAVE RACE, MOBILIZE SUPPORTERS
Et bien, nous sommes tous de jolis anges ensemble au paradis
Couche-toi mon cheri tu vas bien apprecier cela
Listen to me
Just hear me out
If I could have your attention
Just quieten down for a voice in the crowd
I get so confused and I don't understand
I know you feel the same way you've always wanted to say
But you don't get the chance
Just a voice in the crowd
Le soleil emergea de la montagne
les vagues se deroulerent sur la baie
de fabuleux oiseaux de couleurs flamboyantes s'envolerent
Et bien, nous sommes tous de jolis anges ensemble au paradis
Couche-toi mon cheri tu vas bien apprecier cela
Just hear me out
If I could have your attention
Just quieten down for a voice in the crowd
I get so confused and I don't understand
I know you feel the same way you've always wanted to say
But you don't get the chance
Just a voice in the crowd
17 February, 2004
What Is A Grue?
After having caught up on film news last night I settled in for a nice game of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. You see, the Douglas Adams site has a Java version (I love it that a programming language is named after coffee. And I love how the automatic Java updater on this computer sits in the system tray whose icon is a cup of piping hot coffee. Mmm...coffee...) of the old Infocom text adventure. I just love this game! Anyone here have a computer back in the 80s and have any Infocom games? Planetfall and the Zorks were other faves. ("What is a grue?") For you folks who are not familiar with such games, they are all text. You are presented with a description of a locale and you type in what you want to do. "n" to move north or "get toothbrush". No graphics at all, not even cheesy ASCII graphics. Fucking brilliant! When I was 7th or 8th grade (1985-6), we were allowed to use the computers during our lunch hour for recreation. The room had about 20 Apple IIe's and it got to the point where most, if not all of them, were used to play Hitchhiker's. So instead of being able to zip over to the teachers' lounge and enjoying adult company, my teacher was stuck supervising a roomful of Straight Dope-reading, progressive rock listening, Hitchhiker's playing kids. I bet he rued the day he decided to let us them. When one of us would solve a puzzle, he'd announce it to the rest of the group. "Hey you guys! To get past the Ravenous Bug Blatter Beast of Traal, you've gotta..." Good times.
Anyway, so I'm playing last night and I get as far as the Vogon ship. I recalled that you had to enjoy the Captain's poetry but failed to figure out how to type on the keyboard of the case to get the atomic vector plotter. So Ford and I got thrown out the airlock and died. And you can't save your position in the game either.
I'm glad no one saw me playing either because it seems weird that I have a computer that has a 2GHz processor and 256MB of RAM while my Commodore 64 had a, what?, 5Mhz processor and 64Kb of RAM and I prefer games from 1985. There just haven't been any games the last few years that have caught my interest. The last game that really sucked me in was The Last Express. (And before that, the Blade Runner game.) I loved The Last Express so much, I wrote the software company to tell them. You play this American spy in 1917 and you're on the last voyage of the Orient Express before World War I breaks out. Getting on board the train by hopping onto it from a motorcycle, you go to your compartment to meet your friend only to find that he's dead. From there, it's all mystery and intrigue. Passengers from various countries ride the train and some don't speak English so you'll be eavesdropping and not understand everything. Plus I really dig the graphics. The makers videotaped live action and then rotoscoped it like in Waking Life It gives the game a really cool look. Plus they found an old car from the Orient Express so the detail of interior of the train is fantastic and genuine. You've gotta plan subterfuges so you can sneak into the rooms of other passengers and be nosey. Unfortunately, I was in the minority and didn't sell very well. And it cost a lot to make so there will never be anything similar. A shame.
One game I've tried to get into but have failed in Baldur's Gate. It's basically Dungeons & Dragons so you'd think I'd be on it like a fly on shit. But, for some reason, I just can't. (Oddly enough, our real life D&D campaign occurs a bit north of where the video game takes place. "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to Waterdeep we go!") And I'm not a first-person shooter kinda guy. Well, Redneck Rampage was fun but I never got into Half-Life. I am, however, looking forward to the Call of Cthulhu game that has been delayed for months. The only games I play nowadays are ones originally for the Intellivision or Commodore 64 that have been ported over to the PC. I guess I'm just retro. But isn't retro in nowadays?
Anyway, so I'm playing last night and I get as far as the Vogon ship. I recalled that you had to enjoy the Captain's poetry but failed to figure out how to type on the keyboard of the case to get the atomic vector plotter. So Ford and I got thrown out the airlock and died. And you can't save your position in the game either.
I'm glad no one saw me playing either because it seems weird that I have a computer that has a 2GHz processor and 256MB of RAM while my Commodore 64 had a, what?, 5Mhz processor and 64Kb of RAM and I prefer games from 1985. There just haven't been any games the last few years that have caught my interest. The last game that really sucked me in was The Last Express. (And before that, the Blade Runner game.) I loved The Last Express so much, I wrote the software company to tell them. You play this American spy in 1917 and you're on the last voyage of the Orient Express before World War I breaks out. Getting on board the train by hopping onto it from a motorcycle, you go to your compartment to meet your friend only to find that he's dead. From there, it's all mystery and intrigue. Passengers from various countries ride the train and some don't speak English so you'll be eavesdropping and not understand everything. Plus I really dig the graphics. The makers videotaped live action and then rotoscoped it like in Waking Life It gives the game a really cool look. Plus they found an old car from the Orient Express so the detail of interior of the train is fantastic and genuine. You've gotta plan subterfuges so you can sneak into the rooms of other passengers and be nosey. Unfortunately, I was in the minority and didn't sell very well. And it cost a lot to make so there will never be anything similar. A shame.
One game I've tried to get into but have failed in Baldur's Gate. It's basically Dungeons & Dragons so you'd think I'd be on it like a fly on shit. But, for some reason, I just can't. (Oddly enough, our real life D&D campaign occurs a bit north of where the video game takes place. "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to Waterdeep we go!") And I'm not a first-person shooter kinda guy. Well, Redneck Rampage was fun but I never got into Half-Life. I am, however, looking forward to the Call of Cthulhu game that has been delayed for months. The only games I play nowadays are ones originally for the Intellivision or Commodore 64 that have been ported over to the PC. I guess I'm just retro. But isn't retro in nowadays?
16 February, 2004
Don't Panic
Firstly, the plastic cover for my car's left-hand running light is broken. I have no idea how but it happened last night and I suspect Pete did it based on our parking positions last night. The only thing in his favor is that the the cover's shattered remains were nowhere to be seen in the driveway. He's too lazy to actually clean-up any mess so I find this odd. Secondly, my financial situation has taken a turn for the worse. So I'm pretty broke for a week or so. However, if I get the call I'm expecting this week, things will take a major upturn.
In good news, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy film has been green-ilghted and is in pre-production. The cast so far:
Arthur - Martin Freeman
Ford - Mos Def
Trillian - Zooey Deschanel
Marvin - Warwick Davis
Zaphod - Sam Rockwell
Aside from Warwick Davis, I have no clue who these other people are. Anyone out there know? Hopefully, the long-rumored casting of Sean Connery as Slartibartfast will come to fruition.
I applied for a job as an editorial assistant today. The job entails helping put together a science journal of some ilk. While the odds of even getting an interview are slim, I still hold out hope. Also, I applied for a job as a technical writer for a software company. Having applied there previously, I doubt that I'll get more than a "we got your resume" card in the mail but, maybe if I pester them enough, I can at least be interviewed. It'd be nice to get some more writing experience onto my resume. Right now, my life sucks eggs but I am hoping that by 2006, I'll have it turned around. At the moment, I feel like hiding under a rock. No, I feel like disappearing. That way I wouldn't have to pay off a friend's debt to save my own ass and wouldn't be subjected to the looks.
Love and linen sheets seem so very far away
You save your pennies and you buy another day
But after all it's only hide and seek, just another game
There's so much fun to be had when you're living with a name
All the best freaks are here, all the best freaks are here
Please stop staring at me
In good news, the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy film has been green-ilghted and is in pre-production. The cast so far:
Arthur - Martin Freeman
Ford - Mos Def
Trillian - Zooey Deschanel
Marvin - Warwick Davis
Zaphod - Sam Rockwell
Aside from Warwick Davis, I have no clue who these other people are. Anyone out there know? Hopefully, the long-rumored casting of Sean Connery as Slartibartfast will come to fruition.
I applied for a job as an editorial assistant today. The job entails helping put together a science journal of some ilk. While the odds of even getting an interview are slim, I still hold out hope. Also, I applied for a job as a technical writer for a software company. Having applied there previously, I doubt that I'll get more than a "we got your resume" card in the mail but, maybe if I pester them enough, I can at least be interviewed. It'd be nice to get some more writing experience onto my resume. Right now, my life sucks eggs but I am hoping that by 2006, I'll have it turned around. At the moment, I feel like hiding under a rock. No, I feel like disappearing. That way I wouldn't have to pay off a friend's debt to save my own ass and wouldn't be subjected to the looks.
You save your pennies and you buy another day
But after all it's only hide and seek, just another game
There's so much fun to be had when you're living with a name
All the best freaks are here, all the best freaks are here
Please stop staring at me
15 February, 2004
Brush Away That Black Cloud From Your Shoulder
Unsurprisingly, things took a turn for the worse at the mailbox this today. Then my key gets stuck in my car's ignition. My reaction? To write with an all-new music playlist cranking in the background. Why natch.
A Magazine Called Sunset - Wilco
Woodgrain - Wilco
Kamera (alt. version) - Wilco
Bob Dylan's 49th Beard - Wilco
Handshake Drug - Wilco
More Like the Moon - Wilco
True Love Will Find You In the End - Wilco
Student Loan Stereo - Wilco
Last Time Around (Live) - Son Volt
Going, Going, Gone - Son Volt
Holocaust (Live) - Son Volt
Tulsa County (Live) - Son Volt
Weighted Down - Jay Farrar
Molly's Lips - The Vaselines
You Know You're Right - Nirvana
Jack-a-Lynn - Jethro Tull
North Sea Oil - Jethro Tull
Taxi Grab - Jethro Tull
Gutter Geese - Maddy Prior
Sex Spider - Gogol Bordello
And the Mouse Police Never Sleeps - Jethro Tull
One Brown Mouse - Jethro Tull
It All Trickles Down - Jethro Tull
It'll probably change a bit soon but it's a nice mix of melancholy, anger, and comfort. Just something about Jay Farrar's ragged baritone that provides a kind of shelter when I feel blue.
There was a piece about Peter Jackson, director of the Lord of the Ring films, on television this morning. I love him. He's this short, chubby guy who wears shorts all the time without shoes. He's humble, creative, and a damn good storyteller. He's basically a nerd like me and that's probably why I like the guy so much. He'd look right at home at a table playing Dungeons & Dragons. There doesn't seem to be any pretenses with him - no flashy muscle-bound hunk surrounded by anorexic ditzy blonde Hollywood bullshit.
Reading various people's diaries, I have to say that I had no idea there was such contempt for Valentine's Day. Seems like there's a lot of quirkyalones out there. Or just lonely people who are bitter about it and I don't direct that at any of my regular readers. It's funny, I just went to the quirkyalone website only to find that the server's bandwidth limit has been exceeded. I guess they're all there checking in with one another.
Alright, I am going to find some Miranda Sex Garden and Mediaeval Baebes...
A Magazine Called Sunset - Wilco
Woodgrain - Wilco
Kamera (alt. version) - Wilco
Bob Dylan's 49th Beard - Wilco
Handshake Drug - Wilco
More Like the Moon - Wilco
True Love Will Find You In the End - Wilco
Student Loan Stereo - Wilco
Last Time Around (Live) - Son Volt
Going, Going, Gone - Son Volt
Holocaust (Live) - Son Volt
Tulsa County (Live) - Son Volt
Weighted Down - Jay Farrar
Molly's Lips - The Vaselines
You Know You're Right - Nirvana
Jack-a-Lynn - Jethro Tull
North Sea Oil - Jethro Tull
Taxi Grab - Jethro Tull
Gutter Geese - Maddy Prior
Sex Spider - Gogol Bordello
And the Mouse Police Never Sleeps - Jethro Tull
One Brown Mouse - Jethro Tull
It All Trickles Down - Jethro Tull
It'll probably change a bit soon but it's a nice mix of melancholy, anger, and comfort. Just something about Jay Farrar's ragged baritone that provides a kind of shelter when I feel blue.
There was a piece about Peter Jackson, director of the Lord of the Ring films, on television this morning. I love him. He's this short, chubby guy who wears shorts all the time without shoes. He's humble, creative, and a damn good storyteller. He's basically a nerd like me and that's probably why I like the guy so much. He'd look right at home at a table playing Dungeons & Dragons. There doesn't seem to be any pretenses with him - no flashy muscle-bound hunk surrounded by anorexic ditzy blonde Hollywood bullshit.
Reading various people's diaries, I have to say that I had no idea there was such contempt for Valentine's Day. Seems like there's a lot of quirkyalones out there. Or just lonely people who are bitter about it and I don't direct that at any of my regular readers. It's funny, I just went to the quirkyalone website only to find that the server's bandwidth limit has been exceeded. I guess they're all there checking in with one another.
Alright, I am going to find some Miranda Sex Garden and Mediaeval Baebes...
14 February, 2004
Sounds Interesting
"Trey Gunn and Pat Mastelotto will be performing together with avant garde accordionist Kimmo Pohjonen and sampling whiz Samuli Kosminen as Kluster TU. Shows are scheduled for Helsinki on April 7 and Tokyo on April 10 and 11. Kluster features Kimmo on accordion, voice, and effects with Samuli creating live samples of Kimmo's accordion and voice and then reproducing them through electronic drum pads. Follow the link below for info on the gigs and visit Kimmo’s website for more about the Kluster multi-dimensional accordion sound."
Gunn and Mastelotto are the former rhythm section of King Crimson, a band that regular readers know to be a favorite of mine. Never heard of an "avant garde accordianist" before. Sounds cool, though.
"This is Chevalier, Montage, Detente, Avant Garde, and Deja Vu."
Gunn and Mastelotto are the former rhythm section of King Crimson, a band that regular readers know to be a favorite of mine. Never heard of an "avant garde accordianist" before. Sounds cool, though.
"This is Chevalier, Montage, Detente, Avant Garde, and Deja Vu."
Random Musical Blurps
NEW YORK (Billboard) - Roots-rock band Wilco is at London's Abbey Road Studios mastering the follow-up album to its acclaimed "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot."
"A Ghost Is Born," due June 8 via Nonesuch, was recorded in New York and will feature contributions from multi-instrumentalist Leroy Bach, who left the group last month.
"Foxtrot," which was released by Nonesuch in 2002 after the Jeff Tweedy-led group ended its relationship with Warner Bros., debuted at No. 13 on the Billboard 200. It has sold 435,000 copies in the U.S., according to Nielsen SoundScan, making it the Chicago-based act's top-selling album to date.
The group is planning to tour in support of "Ghost." The only dates confirmed so far are May 2 at the Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival in Indio, Calif., and during the Bonnaroo festival in Manchester, Tenn., in mid-June.
Hopefully I can catch them on tour. Haven't seen them since 1996. Also:
NEW YORK (Billboard) - With momentum high after a pair of Grammy wins for Warren Zevon (news)'s final studio album, "The Wind" (Artemis), fans might expect that a full slate of archival material from the late artist is on the way. Not so, according to his son, Jordan Zevon.
Bummer. Someday, hopefully.
"A Ghost Is Born," due June 8 via Nonesuch, was recorded in New York and will feature contributions from multi-instrumentalist Leroy Bach, who left the group last month.
"Foxtrot," which was released by Nonesuch in 2002 after the Jeff Tweedy-led group ended its relationship with Warner Bros., debuted at No. 13 on the Billboard 200. It has sold 435,000 copies in the U.S., according to Nielsen SoundScan, making it the Chicago-based act's top-selling album to date.
The group is planning to tour in support of "Ghost." The only dates confirmed so far are May 2 at the Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival in Indio, Calif., and during the Bonnaroo festival in Manchester, Tenn., in mid-June.
Hopefully I can catch them on tour. Haven't seen them since 1996. Also:
NEW YORK (Billboard) - With momentum high after a pair of Grammy wins for Warren Zevon (news)'s final studio album, "The Wind" (Artemis), fans might expect that a full slate of archival material from the late artist is on the way. Not so, according to his son, Jordan Zevon.
Bummer. Someday, hopefully.
Wisconsin in the News
Courtesy of the AP:
SHEBOYGAN, Wis. - Sheboygan, known best for its bratwursts, also is among the top spots in the nation to find young, wealthy bachelors, a new rating says.
Teasley, a New York City marketing firm, rated the Sheboygan area fourth in the nation, behind No. 1 San Francisco-Oakland-San Jose, Calif.; second-ranked Anchorage, Alaska, and No. 3 Washington, D.C.-Baltimore.
"If you're a single woman and want to be able to afford a house and a household and have a lot of single men to choose from, that's the place to be," Brian Teasley, president of the firm, said Friday.
But some of the area's single women said the rating came as big news to them.
"I work in a bar and obviously I get hit on, but I don't see any single, rich men," said Jenny Stengel, 23, of Sheboygan, a bartender at the Penn Avenue Pub. "That really surprises me."
"I haven't met any of these men," said Abby Hawe, a "twentysomething" single woman from nearby Cedar Grove. "I think that the guys who have this money are the kind of guys who go hunting or snowmobiling a lot — they don't come across as somebody who has a lot of money."
Teasley created a "golden ratio" for each metropolitan area, using U.S. Census Bureau (news - web sites) figures and other factors, such as cost of living and the ratio of single men to single women.
Sheboygan's golden ratio, as calculated by Teasley with additional data from a firm called GeoLytics, is 180 percent, meaning there are 18 single men ages 25 to 34 available for every 10 women in the same age group.
Sheboygan also ranked first in adjusted median income, where median salary is factored in with cost of living, so men living here have more income to spend.
"If you are a woman who likes football, or a woman who likes rich, single men who like football, Sheboygan might be heaven for you," the report says. "But you will have to be a Green Bay Packers fan — of course."
Brian Smith, 25, of Sheboygan, said the large number of high-end golf courses, resorts and pricey subdivisions in communities around Sheboygan County, not in the city itself, probably figured prominently in the high rating.
"You've got a lot of classy stuff around here," he said.
SHEBOYGAN, Wis. - Sheboygan, known best for its bratwursts, also is among the top spots in the nation to find young, wealthy bachelors, a new rating says.
Teasley, a New York City marketing firm, rated the Sheboygan area fourth in the nation, behind No. 1 San Francisco-Oakland-San Jose, Calif.; second-ranked Anchorage, Alaska, and No. 3 Washington, D.C.-Baltimore.
"If you're a single woman and want to be able to afford a house and a household and have a lot of single men to choose from, that's the place to be," Brian Teasley, president of the firm, said Friday.
But some of the area's single women said the rating came as big news to them.
"I work in a bar and obviously I get hit on, but I don't see any single, rich men," said Jenny Stengel, 23, of Sheboygan, a bartender at the Penn Avenue Pub. "That really surprises me."
"I haven't met any of these men," said Abby Hawe, a "twentysomething" single woman from nearby Cedar Grove. "I think that the guys who have this money are the kind of guys who go hunting or snowmobiling a lot — they don't come across as somebody who has a lot of money."
Teasley created a "golden ratio" for each metropolitan area, using U.S. Census Bureau (news - web sites) figures and other factors, such as cost of living and the ratio of single men to single women.
Sheboygan's golden ratio, as calculated by Teasley with additional data from a firm called GeoLytics, is 180 percent, meaning there are 18 single men ages 25 to 34 available for every 10 women in the same age group.
Sheboygan also ranked first in adjusted median income, where median salary is factored in with cost of living, so men living here have more income to spend.
"If you are a woman who likes football, or a woman who likes rich, single men who like football, Sheboygan might be heaven for you," the report says. "But you will have to be a Green Bay Packers fan — of course."
Brian Smith, 25, of Sheboygan, said the large number of high-end golf courses, resorts and pricey subdivisions in communities around Sheboygan County, not in the city itself, probably figured prominently in the high rating.
"You've got a lot of classy stuff around here," he said.
V-Day
When I met the Magdalene
She was paralysed in a streetlight
She refused to give her name
And a ring of violet bruises
They were pinned upon her arm.
Two hundred francs for sanctuary and she led me by the hand
To a room of dancing shadows where all the heartache disappears
And from glowing tongues of candles I heard her whisper in my ear
"'J'entend ton coeur"
I can hear your heart
"The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition.
So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.
According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.
While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial -- which probably occurred around 270 A.D -- others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus. To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage.
Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February -- Valentine's Day -- should be a day for romance.
The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.
In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America.
According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.) Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, and Australia."
There ya go. That was one really neat thing about having taken Latin classes - Roman history. Whether you've read Gibbon or not, whether you give a hoot about history or not, Western civilization is the legacy of classical Rome (and Athens). English, although a Germanic language, has tons and tons of words derived from Latin and Greek. Our culture in all its guises owes a debt to the Romans and Greeks. And it seems like every Xtian holiday is a distortion of a Roman celebration.
Today I am going over to Dogger's. As a pretext, I am using the excuse that we're going to play Dungeons & Dragons but, in reality, it's to see Regan. Last night, after I had written my rant, I thought about my friend's kids. What kind of world are we bequeathing to little Regan and Hannah and Tommy and Emma and Alyssa and Lola? They range in ages from 3 months to 3 years. Holes in the ozone layer, global warming, national debt, war - these things don't mean anything to them. But when they grow up, what kind of world will they have? What prospects will their kids have?
I hope everyone has a fine day whether you are a quirkyalone, have someone with whom you exchange bodily fluids, or are somewhere in-between.
When I am King, dilly dilly, you will be Queen
A penny for your thoughts my dear
A penny for your thoughts my dear
I.O.U. for your love, IOU for your love
Lavenders green, dilly dilly, lavenders blue
When you love me, dilly dilly, I will love you
A penny for your thoughts my dear
A penny for your thoughts my dear
IOU for your love, IOU for your love
13 February, 2004
I'm Off On a Rant
I have been laughing heartily the past several minutes because I have been wathcing a TV show which is doing a piece on the uproar from our Congress on broadcast television in the aftermath of Nipplegate. For anyone who hasn't heard, some honorable men and women from Congress interview and castigated a captain of the media industry. A Congresswomen from New Mexico had some particularly virulent words for the head of Viacom which owns CBS who broadcast the Super Bowl as well as MTV that did the halftime show. I must admit that, when this woman went on her rant, I laughed. I'm sorry, but I just find it fucking hilarious that my Congress leaps like a bat outta hell into action to "investigate" the content of broadcast television - a breast is ruining our kids. But when scientists come forward and warn that the exhaust of internal combustion engines is going to melt the Antarctic, they turn around and let HUM-V owners write off their toy 100% for the first year if they "use it for business".
Another thing that humored me about this Congresswoman was that she was a Republican. Many, if not most, Republicans disgust me with their hypocrisy. They parade down the street with an American flag pinned to their lapels and pictures of Adam Smith on their ties decrying regulation, championing freedom, and touting capitalism. If they had read Smith's Wealth of Nations, they know that he championed progressive taxation. Instead, they change the tax laws so that the rich pay a steadily decreasing percentage of their income in taxes while the middle classes find that they are paying a higher percentage. And then these same people piss they're pants/panties at the mere thought of meeting Milton Friedman have the supreme gall, the ultimate nerve to turn around and act surprised, to feign abhorrence at the results of their precious invisible hand. These people act dumbfounded that deregulated free-to-roam capitalist media marauders immediately turned to vulgarity and took a nosedive towards the lowest common denominator. Does anyone really believe that, if you let these companies put whatever they please on television, that they'll fill the airwaves with rich, educational programs and challenging, intellectually stimulating entertainment? These Republicans absolutely love freedom as long as it produces the results they want. One woman sat aghast at the Jackson incident. She bemoaned it as an act of violence and blah blah blah. Of course, all those guys on the field beating the shit out of each other while trashing talking the other guy's mother is perfectly fine family entertainment. Do you want to know what's even more violent? The foundations of Western literature, The Iliad and The Odyssey. That woman oughta read the passages where Odysseus reclaims his house sometime. He just doesn't rip off a toga or two, he picks up a bow and, with the help of his son and a couple faithful servants, kills nearly 100 men including one fellow who gets impaled through his penis. And what's even more violent than that? REAL FUCKING LIFE! The shit that actually goes down in this world makes Homer and Janet Jackson look like goddamn Mickey and Minnie Mouse. There are people out there who attach bombs to their bodies and blow themselves up when there's enough innocent women and children around. Civil wars, famine, AIDS...our brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, aunts, cousins, etc. are dying abroad in a "war against terror" and so are Afghan and Iraqi civilians. The breast of the human female is one of the most beautful things in the whole universe and its milk helps infants grow into healthy children. However vulgar the display of Ms. Jackson's mammary gland was, a 1 second shot of it will not rip the moral fiber of anyone asunder excepting the most braindead among us.
Many Republicans rally around slogans in favor of lower taxes, smaller government, and removing the government from people's lives generally. Today, in this country, this is known as a "libertarian" view. Back in the 17th century, this was called "liberalism". John Locke, a huge influence on Thomas Jefferson, is often considered to be the Founding Father of liberalism. In a nutshell, he thought that the purpose of government was to uphold and enforce contracts entered into by agents acting in their own interests. A very spare government that basically made sure that, when free agents entered into contracts with one another, no one could welch on their promise. Republicans tend to eat this shit up and, in the interest of a smaller government, love to privatize things. If there's a government program, then Republicans think it would work more effectively if handed over to a private organization, preferably via a nepotistic transaction. But, as Bill Maher noted tonight, the last thing the Republicans want to privatize is people's private lives. If they want a non-intrusive government, how dare they speak of amending the Constitution to ban gay marriage. If two consenting gay agents want to enter into a marriage contract, how can Joey-I-Want-A-Minimal-Government oppose it? They want their fucking cake and to eat it too.
David Cay Johnston is right. The middle class in this country is more interested in the last episode of Friends than seeing how we're being ass-raped by changes in tax laws which help us subsidize the rich. Personally, I'm not a Democrat. They too are endowed with corruption and their own unique bits of bullshit. The only columnist that I read regularly is William F. Buckley, Jr., an arch-conservative. And I agree with a lot of what he says. I've enjoyed him since I was a kid watching Firing Line at noon on Sundays on WTTW, channel 11 in Chicago. (This probably explains my love for words.) He is highly intelligent, articulate, logical, and consistent. Unlike the Ann Coulters of the world, he can actually argue his position instead of simply writing tracts that are nothing more than attempts to prove what an adept writer of pejoratives and creative user of ad hominem attacks the author is. By no means are all conservatives idiots nor all conservative ideas horrid. What is disgusting is how difficult it is to find an an intelligent, eloquent conservative in the mass media and an honest politician.
Another thing that humored me about this Congresswoman was that she was a Republican. Many, if not most, Republicans disgust me with their hypocrisy. They parade down the street with an American flag pinned to their lapels and pictures of Adam Smith on their ties decrying regulation, championing freedom, and touting capitalism. If they had read Smith's Wealth of Nations, they know that he championed progressive taxation. Instead, they change the tax laws so that the rich pay a steadily decreasing percentage of their income in taxes while the middle classes find that they are paying a higher percentage. And then these same people piss they're pants/panties at the mere thought of meeting Milton Friedman have the supreme gall, the ultimate nerve to turn around and act surprised, to feign abhorrence at the results of their precious invisible hand. These people act dumbfounded that deregulated free-to-roam capitalist media marauders immediately turned to vulgarity and took a nosedive towards the lowest common denominator. Does anyone really believe that, if you let these companies put whatever they please on television, that they'll fill the airwaves with rich, educational programs and challenging, intellectually stimulating entertainment? These Republicans absolutely love freedom as long as it produces the results they want. One woman sat aghast at the Jackson incident. She bemoaned it as an act of violence and blah blah blah. Of course, all those guys on the field beating the shit out of each other while trashing talking the other guy's mother is perfectly fine family entertainment. Do you want to know what's even more violent? The foundations of Western literature, The Iliad and The Odyssey. That woman oughta read the passages where Odysseus reclaims his house sometime. He just doesn't rip off a toga or two, he picks up a bow and, with the help of his son and a couple faithful servants, kills nearly 100 men including one fellow who gets impaled through his penis. And what's even more violent than that? REAL FUCKING LIFE! The shit that actually goes down in this world makes Homer and Janet Jackson look like goddamn Mickey and Minnie Mouse. There are people out there who attach bombs to their bodies and blow themselves up when there's enough innocent women and children around. Civil wars, famine, AIDS...our brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, aunts, cousins, etc. are dying abroad in a "war against terror" and so are Afghan and Iraqi civilians. The breast of the human female is one of the most beautful things in the whole universe and its milk helps infants grow into healthy children. However vulgar the display of Ms. Jackson's mammary gland was, a 1 second shot of it will not rip the moral fiber of anyone asunder excepting the most braindead among us.
Many Republicans rally around slogans in favor of lower taxes, smaller government, and removing the government from people's lives generally. Today, in this country, this is known as a "libertarian" view. Back in the 17th century, this was called "liberalism". John Locke, a huge influence on Thomas Jefferson, is often considered to be the Founding Father of liberalism. In a nutshell, he thought that the purpose of government was to uphold and enforce contracts entered into by agents acting in their own interests. A very spare government that basically made sure that, when free agents entered into contracts with one another, no one could welch on their promise. Republicans tend to eat this shit up and, in the interest of a smaller government, love to privatize things. If there's a government program, then Republicans think it would work more effectively if handed over to a private organization, preferably via a nepotistic transaction. But, as Bill Maher noted tonight, the last thing the Republicans want to privatize is people's private lives. If they want a non-intrusive government, how dare they speak of amending the Constitution to ban gay marriage. If two consenting gay agents want to enter into a marriage contract, how can Joey-I-Want-A-Minimal-Government oppose it? They want their fucking cake and to eat it too.
David Cay Johnston is right. The middle class in this country is more interested in the last episode of Friends than seeing how we're being ass-raped by changes in tax laws which help us subsidize the rich. Personally, I'm not a Democrat. They too are endowed with corruption and their own unique bits of bullshit. The only columnist that I read regularly is William F. Buckley, Jr., an arch-conservative. And I agree with a lot of what he says. I've enjoyed him since I was a kid watching Firing Line at noon on Sundays on WTTW, channel 11 in Chicago. (This probably explains my love for words.) He is highly intelligent, articulate, logical, and consistent. Unlike the Ann Coulters of the world, he can actually argue his position instead of simply writing tracts that are nothing more than attempts to prove what an adept writer of pejoratives and creative user of ad hominem attacks the author is. By no means are all conservatives idiots nor all conservative ideas horrid. What is disgusting is how difficult it is to find an an intelligent, eloquent conservative in the mass media and an honest politician.
Retro-Minded Companion Needed
There's a new bar/restaurant opening here next month called Nachtspiel. It will have a hand-built brick oven and a keyhole-shaped "opium den", whatever that's gonna be. Oh man! It would be so awesome to have a real opium den in town. I can just picture it: it'd be like the one in the movie From Hell. Beautiful women lying naked scattered around. I'd grab me a nice pillow, smoke some opium, and follow it with a laudanum-laced absinthe chaser.
Another thing I wanna do: I want to find a cohort to go with me to the Casbah bar downtown. They have hookahs! We could sit around drinking cocktails, share a hookah with some aromatic tobacco, and talk out of our asses like we're cultured'n'stuff. Slip a little hashish in there and I'll be smiling like the Cheshire cat ready to reenact scenes from Alice in Wonderland!
Another thing I wanna do: I want to find a cohort to go with me to the Casbah bar downtown. They have hookahs! We could sit around drinking cocktails, share a hookah with some aromatic tobacco, and talk out of our asses like we're cultured'n'stuff. Slip a little hashish in there and I'll be smiling like the Cheshire cat ready to reenact scenes from Alice in Wonderland!
They're Heeere...
I see that Kerry and Clark are both here in Madison this morning. I will be sure to avoid going downtown this morning...
12 February, 2004
The Bush Administration Had Better Not Screw This Up!
From the AP:
MINNEAPOLIS - Researchers said Thursday that for the first time, they have produced hydrogen from ethanol in a prototype reactor small enough and efficient enough to heat small homes and power cars.
The development could help open the way for cleaner-burning technology at home and on the road.
Current methods of producing hydrogen from ethanol require large refineries and copious amounts of fossil fuels, the University of Minnesota researchers said.
The reactor is a relatively tiny 2-foot-high apparatus of tubes and wires that creates hydrogen from corn-based ethanol. A fuel cell, which acts like a battery, then generates power.
"This points to a way to make renewable hydrogen that may be economical and available," said Lanny Schmidt, a chemical engineer who led the study. The work was outlined in Friday's issue of the journal Science.
Hydrogen power itself is hardly a new idea. Hydrogen fuel cells already propel experimental vehicles and supply power for some buildings. NASA (news - web sites) has used them on spacecraft for decades.
But hydrogen is expensive to make and uses fossil fuels. The researchers say their reactor will produce hydrogen exclusively from ethanol and do it cheaply enough so people can buy hydrogen fuel cells for personal use.
They also believe their technology could be used to convert ethanol to hydrogen at fuel stations when cars that run solely on hydrogen enter the mass market.
Hydrogen does not emit any pollution or greenhouse gases. But unlike oil or coal, hydrogen must be produced — there are no natural stores of it waiting to be pumped or dug out of the ground.
The new technology holds economic potential for Midwest farmers, who are leaders in the production of corn-based ethanol.
George Sverdrup, a technology manager at the National Renewable Energy Laboratory, said he was encouraged by the research.
"When hydrogen takes a foothold and penetrates the marketplace, it will probably come from a variety of sources and be produced by a variety of techniques," he said. "So this particular advance and technology that Minnesota is reporting on would be one component in a big system."
The Minnesota researchers envision people buying ethanol to power the small fuel cell in their basements. The cell could produce 1 kilowatt of power, nearly enough for an average home.
Seriously, I could see some of Bush's oil lovin' cronies stepping in and fucking up this good thing. Not only would it reduce dependency on fossil fuels but we could cut out those subsidies to Iowa farmers as they would have a market. Let's not fuck this up and melt Antarctica.
MINNEAPOLIS - Researchers said Thursday that for the first time, they have produced hydrogen from ethanol in a prototype reactor small enough and efficient enough to heat small homes and power cars.
The development could help open the way for cleaner-burning technology at home and on the road.
Current methods of producing hydrogen from ethanol require large refineries and copious amounts of fossil fuels, the University of Minnesota researchers said.
The reactor is a relatively tiny 2-foot-high apparatus of tubes and wires that creates hydrogen from corn-based ethanol. A fuel cell, which acts like a battery, then generates power.
"This points to a way to make renewable hydrogen that may be economical and available," said Lanny Schmidt, a chemical engineer who led the study. The work was outlined in Friday's issue of the journal Science.
Hydrogen power itself is hardly a new idea. Hydrogen fuel cells already propel experimental vehicles and supply power for some buildings. NASA (news - web sites) has used them on spacecraft for decades.
But hydrogen is expensive to make and uses fossil fuels. The researchers say their reactor will produce hydrogen exclusively from ethanol and do it cheaply enough so people can buy hydrogen fuel cells for personal use.
They also believe their technology could be used to convert ethanol to hydrogen at fuel stations when cars that run solely on hydrogen enter the mass market.
Hydrogen does not emit any pollution or greenhouse gases. But unlike oil or coal, hydrogen must be produced — there are no natural stores of it waiting to be pumped or dug out of the ground.
The new technology holds economic potential for Midwest farmers, who are leaders in the production of corn-based ethanol.
George Sverdrup, a technology manager at the National Renewable Energy Laboratory, said he was encouraged by the research.
"When hydrogen takes a foothold and penetrates the marketplace, it will probably come from a variety of sources and be produced by a variety of techniques," he said. "So this particular advance and technology that Minnesota is reporting on would be one component in a big system."
The Minnesota researchers envision people buying ethanol to power the small fuel cell in their basements. The cell could produce 1 kilowatt of power, nearly enough for an average home.
Seriously, I could see some of Bush's oil lovin' cronies stepping in and fucking up this good thing. Not only would it reduce dependency on fossil fuels but we could cut out those subsidies to Iowa farmers as they would have a market. Let's not fuck this up and melt Antarctica.
Back From the Trailing Edge
I am hoping this will be the last ditty from the AP...
CHICAGO - Surrounded by other singers arranged in a square, Judy Hauff rocks her feet heel to toe, rhythmically slashes the air with her arm and sings "Fa la sol la sol."
This is "shape note" music, an a cappella, traditional form of folk hymn singing that dates to Colonial times. Also known as Sacred Harp music, it's enjoying a revival after being featured in the film "Cold Mountain" and on its soundtrack.
"It's America's best kept musical secret," said Hauff at a recent workshop at the Old Town School of Folk Music.
This is really cool! Ever since I got into Sacred Harp music a few years ago, I have never met anyone else who's even heard of the stuff excepting the guy who gave me the CD that introduced me to it and the members of Madison's local shape-note singing group. HA! This is the first time in while that I've been on the leading edge of anything. Well, I did enjoy American roots music long before O Brother Where Art Thou? was released. I am so hip, I can barely see over my own pelvis.
My favorite Sacred Harp song is still "Last Words of Copernicus". Lots of memories attached to that song relating to the death of my stepmother...
CHICAGO - Surrounded by other singers arranged in a square, Judy Hauff rocks her feet heel to toe, rhythmically slashes the air with her arm and sings "Fa la sol la sol."
This is "shape note" music, an a cappella, traditional form of folk hymn singing that dates to Colonial times. Also known as Sacred Harp music, it's enjoying a revival after being featured in the film "Cold Mountain" and on its soundtrack.
"It's America's best kept musical secret," said Hauff at a recent workshop at the Old Town School of Folk Music.
This is really cool! Ever since I got into Sacred Harp music a few years ago, I have never met anyone else who's even heard of the stuff excepting the guy who gave me the CD that introduced me to it and the members of Madison's local shape-note singing group. HA! This is the first time in while that I've been on the leading edge of anything. Well, I did enjoy American roots music long before O Brother Where Art Thou? was released. I am so hip, I can barely see over my own pelvis.
My favorite Sacred Harp song is still "Last Words of Copernicus". Lots of memories attached to that song relating to the death of my stepmother...
The Madness Continues
Also from the AP:
WASHINGTON - A House panel looking into indecency on the airwaves was hearing Wednesday from National Football League Commissioner Paul Tagliabue and Mel Karmazin, president of Viacom Inc. — owner of both CBS, which aired Janet Jackson's breast-baring Super Bowl halftime show, and MTV, which produced the show.
Holy fuck! You show a nipple-shielded titty on the tele and you get dragged up before the House. And we all know the house is just packed full of upright citizens that crowd the moral high ground.
WASHINGTON - A House panel looking into indecency on the airwaves was hearing Wednesday from National Football League Commissioner Paul Tagliabue and Mel Karmazin, president of Viacom Inc. — owner of both CBS, which aired Janet Jackson's breast-baring Super Bowl halftime show, and MTV, which produced the show.
Holy fuck! You show a nipple-shielded titty on the tele and you get dragged up before the House. And we all know the house is just packed full of upright citizens that crowd the moral high ground.
A Question for Ani DiFranco
From the folks at the Associated Press via Yahoo:
AP: Your approach, your energy on the current tour and on the new album seem different. Why is that?
DiFranco: The difference is solitude. I have it in my life now, and I didn't for years, at all. But there's been a lot of changes so now I'm alone on stage, it's been like a year and a half, and I'm alone in my dressing room and I'm alone in my home. And there's just a lot less people around. So it allows for more contemplation.
When you look, being alone is everywhere.
AP: Your approach, your energy on the current tour and on the new album seem different. Why is that?
DiFranco: The difference is solitude. I have it in my life now, and I didn't for years, at all. But there's been a lot of changes so now I'm alone on stage, it's been like a year and a half, and I'm alone in my dressing room and I'm alone in my home. And there's just a lot less people around. So it allows for more contemplation.
When you look, being alone is everywhere.
Happy Darwin Day!!
It was on this date in 1809 that the great naturalist and evolutionist Charles Darwin was born. Thanks to the efforts of humanists Robert Stephens and Arthur Jackson, it’s a date that’s been celebrated as Darwin Day since 1995. This year, Darwin Day festivities and programs will be held in at least 18 countries around the world in what’s been called “an International Celebration of Science and Humanity.”
Watch It Separate In Two
I read this at the Fairport Convention website:
"Sadly, after 37 years of marriage Christine and Dave Pegg are soon to be divorced."
That's too bad - at least it was amicable. I wonder what happened. Presumably, Ms. Pegg got fed up with Dave's predeliction for a pint. And he's being forced to sell off his collection of instruments:
"Because of the sale of the house I also have to sell my instrument collection, which includes some quite prestigious vintage guitars. There are some that would be of special interest to Fairport and Jethro Tull fans or collectors..."
What a shame. And this throws any future Cropredy Festivals into doubt, although this year's will go on. I've wanted to attend it for a few years now but getting across the pond ain't cheap. However, I did get to see the Fairports open for Tull twice in the late 80s and on their own last summer in Milwaukee. That was a really fun show - lacking only a fellow drunkwith whom to dance a jig. (Well, as near an approximation to one as I can muster.)
Wow! 37 years. Christine must be an exceptionally patient woman. I can't even imagine such a life. But, after so long, they'll never really leave one another. How does that saying go? "Divorce is the continuation of marriage by other means."
I think that, after witnessing my parents' divorce, the divorces of friends, and my past relationships, I can honestly say that I'm commitmentphobic. Well, a marriage-phobe, anyway. The older I get, the more I see it as an outdated institution. It really isn't fair to ask someone to make such a commitment to another person for life. I'm sure most of us know an older couple that are basically married because of the routine. They sleep in separate rooms, the only time spent together is in front of the television, and so on. Could these people be happier apart? Hell, maybe in 30 years I'll understand that mentality and its attendant benefits but, right now, they're unfathomable. Not that I am in any way being critical of those who take the plunge, mind you - I just don't think it's for me.
There was an article in last Sunday's paper about widows/widowers who have chosen not to become involved with another person and not to remarry. The pictures accompanying the text featured smiling faces and hands clutching photos of dead loved ones. Hey, if that's what these people want, more power to 'em. I just can't see me doing that - I can't see me cutting myself off from other people like that, limiting my experiences like that.
It seems like the only thing I trust in my girlfriends is for them to trust in me that I mistrust them. I understand that people change over time and people enter and leave our lives constantly. I just wish my girlfriends would hide it better. Hearts will go where hearts will go but don't talk to me about the other guy. Don't have him call our phone so I end up answering it. Lie to me and then send me packing.
"Sadly, after 37 years of marriage Christine and Dave Pegg are soon to be divorced."
That's too bad - at least it was amicable. I wonder what happened. Presumably, Ms. Pegg got fed up with Dave's predeliction for a pint. And he's being forced to sell off his collection of instruments:
"Because of the sale of the house I also have to sell my instrument collection, which includes some quite prestigious vintage guitars. There are some that would be of special interest to Fairport and Jethro Tull fans or collectors..."
What a shame. And this throws any future Cropredy Festivals into doubt, although this year's will go on. I've wanted to attend it for a few years now but getting across the pond ain't cheap. However, I did get to see the Fairports open for Tull twice in the late 80s and on their own last summer in Milwaukee. That was a really fun show - lacking only a fellow drunkwith whom to dance a jig. (Well, as near an approximation to one as I can muster.)
Wow! 37 years. Christine must be an exceptionally patient woman. I can't even imagine such a life. But, after so long, they'll never really leave one another. How does that saying go? "Divorce is the continuation of marriage by other means."
I think that, after witnessing my parents' divorce, the divorces of friends, and my past relationships, I can honestly say that I'm commitmentphobic. Well, a marriage-phobe, anyway. The older I get, the more I see it as an outdated institution. It really isn't fair to ask someone to make such a commitment to another person for life. I'm sure most of us know an older couple that are basically married because of the routine. They sleep in separate rooms, the only time spent together is in front of the television, and so on. Could these people be happier apart? Hell, maybe in 30 years I'll understand that mentality and its attendant benefits but, right now, they're unfathomable. Not that I am in any way being critical of those who take the plunge, mind you - I just don't think it's for me.
There was an article in last Sunday's paper about widows/widowers who have chosen not to become involved with another person and not to remarry. The pictures accompanying the text featured smiling faces and hands clutching photos of dead loved ones. Hey, if that's what these people want, more power to 'em. I just can't see me doing that - I can't see me cutting myself off from other people like that, limiting my experiences like that.
It seems like the only thing I trust in my girlfriends is for them to trust in me that I mistrust them. I understand that people change over time and people enter and leave our lives constantly. I just wish my girlfriends would hide it better. Hearts will go where hearts will go but don't talk to me about the other guy. Don't have him call our phone so I end up answering it. Lie to me and then send me packing.
11 February, 2004
Wisconsin Redux
Here's some more ditties about my fair state:
Back in 1933, Wisconsin became the first state in the Union to outlaw race as a factor in hiring and firing teachers.
Wisconsin passed the first law eliminating all legal discrimination against women in 1921.
The town of Ripon is considered the birthplace of the Republican Party. (It has really changed over the years!)
October 8, 1871 is not only the date of the famous Chicago fire but also of the Peshtigo fire, which claimed over 1000 lives making it the deadliest in US history. Word of the fire spread slowly, however, as, unlike Chicago, the town had no telegraph lines.
The first ice cream sundae was served in Two Rivers (known as "Trivers") by Ed Berner back in 1878. Chocolate syrup...mmm...
The federal government's ELF Project is located way up north. ELF stands for Extremely Low Frequency and is part of the Navy's system for submarine communication. It sends signals through the crust of the earth and into the water to communicate with submerged submarines.
Elmwood,WI is a welcoming town - even to aliens. There is a UFO landing pad there to greet any extraterrestrial visitors that are in need of cheese and/or beer.
Mt. Horeb, a town just west of here, features, to my knowledge, the only museum dedicated to mustard in the world. They have billions and billions of flavas.
And, several years ago, I lived just up the street from a toilet paper museum here in Madison.
In addition to spawning commie-hunter Joe McCarthy, we also had William Proxmire, a long-term US Senator who kept a vigil against wasteful government spending. I think he also donated his salary to a University of WI scholarship fund. Today we have Russ Feingold - GO RUSS!
First state statute using a broad-based income tax to fund recycling efforts. (1990)
First workmen's compensation law. (1911)
First (along with Illinois) to ratify the 19th Amendment for women's suffrage. (1919)
First state to pass a law authorizing monetary benefits for unemployed workers. (1932)
First state to provide payments to persons who required continual care because of permanent disabilities. (1945)
The University of Wisconsin was the first university to offer extension courses. (1925)
First state to enact a comprehensive certification law for public librarians. (1921)
A nice drive west of Madison is American Players Theater. It is an outdoor theater nestled in the woods outside of Spring Green. (Yes, they provide mosquito repellent.) You can sit in the great outdoors with a glass of vino and enjoy the Bard or whatever play those folks are doing. One cool thing about it is that, during some plays, parts of the action will take place off-stage and out at the perimeter of the theater in the woods. I recall one night scene where a red backlight silhouetted 2 figures amongst the trees as one murdered the other.
The Rodney Dangerfield movie, Back to School, was shot here, in part. Most of the scenes of the campus are of my alma mater.
The Nick Nolte/Julia Roberts vehicle, I Love Trouble, also had scenes filmed here. I remember a a scene in which a car blowing up outside the Majestic Theater.
Keanu Reeves was in town for a while to shoot a scene for Chain Reaction. Our state capitol building resembles the US Capitol building which was unavailable for use as a shooting location.
Jeepers, I didn't even know most of this stuff. Madison is home to the band Garbage. (Some locals tell me that Shirley Manson is a complete beeotch.) I used to live a couple blocks from their Smart Recording Studios where Nirvana recorded the demos for their Nervermind album. The version of "Polly" on the album is from these sessions. "Dive" was on Incesticide and the remaining tunes found their way onto various compilation and tribute albums. One of my faves, Son Volt recorded demos there as well and my friend Bill got to meet Jay Farrar when he popped into the restaurant Bill cooked at. Other bands that have recorded or had mixing work done there include: Smashing Pumpkins, U2, Beck, L7, Jayhawks, Everclear, Paw, Limp Bizkit, Freddy Johnston, and Poster Children. And "lost" live recordings of Big Band greats Jimmy Dorsey, Woody Herman and Stan Kenton, have been digitally remastered at Smart Studios. Madison is home to former James Brown drummer, Clyde Stubblefield and keyboardist Ben Sidran.
Other Wisconsin musicians include The BoDeans, Willy Porter, and Daryl Stuermer. Stuermer played with Jean-Luc Ponty and Genesis.
Heck, even more stuff I didn't know. Whew! This was pretty fun. For being part of Hillary Clinton's "fly-over" area, Wisconsin has some funky stuff. And I haven't even mentioned lefse and lutefisk.
Back in 1933, Wisconsin became the first state in the Union to outlaw race as a factor in hiring and firing teachers.
Wisconsin passed the first law eliminating all legal discrimination against women in 1921.
The town of Ripon is considered the birthplace of the Republican Party. (It has really changed over the years!)
October 8, 1871 is not only the date of the famous Chicago fire but also of the Peshtigo fire, which claimed over 1000 lives making it the deadliest in US history. Word of the fire spread slowly, however, as, unlike Chicago, the town had no telegraph lines.
The first ice cream sundae was served in Two Rivers (known as "Trivers") by Ed Berner back in 1878. Chocolate syrup...mmm...
The federal government's ELF Project is located way up north. ELF stands for Extremely Low Frequency and is part of the Navy's system for submarine communication. It sends signals through the crust of the earth and into the water to communicate with submerged submarines.
Elmwood,WI is a welcoming town - even to aliens. There is a UFO landing pad there to greet any extraterrestrial visitors that are in need of cheese and/or beer.
Mt. Horeb, a town just west of here, features, to my knowledge, the only museum dedicated to mustard in the world. They have billions and billions of flavas.
And, several years ago, I lived just up the street from a toilet paper museum here in Madison.
In addition to spawning commie-hunter Joe McCarthy, we also had William Proxmire, a long-term US Senator who kept a vigil against wasteful government spending. I think he also donated his salary to a University of WI scholarship fund. Today we have Russ Feingold - GO RUSS!
First state statute using a broad-based income tax to fund recycling efforts. (1990)
First workmen's compensation law. (1911)
First (along with Illinois) to ratify the 19th Amendment for women's suffrage. (1919)
First state to pass a law authorizing monetary benefits for unemployed workers. (1932)
First state to provide payments to persons who required continual care because of permanent disabilities. (1945)
The University of Wisconsin was the first university to offer extension courses. (1925)
First state to enact a comprehensive certification law for public librarians. (1921)
A nice drive west of Madison is American Players Theater. It is an outdoor theater nestled in the woods outside of Spring Green. (Yes, they provide mosquito repellent.) You can sit in the great outdoors with a glass of vino and enjoy the Bard or whatever play those folks are doing. One cool thing about it is that, during some plays, parts of the action will take place off-stage and out at the perimeter of the theater in the woods. I recall one night scene where a red backlight silhouetted 2 figures amongst the trees as one murdered the other.
The Rodney Dangerfield movie, Back to School, was shot here, in part. Most of the scenes of the campus are of my alma mater.
The Nick Nolte/Julia Roberts vehicle, I Love Trouble, also had scenes filmed here. I remember a a scene in which a car blowing up outside the Majestic Theater.
Keanu Reeves was in town for a while to shoot a scene for Chain Reaction. Our state capitol building resembles the US Capitol building which was unavailable for use as a shooting location.
Jeepers, I didn't even know most of this stuff. Madison is home to the band Garbage. (Some locals tell me that Shirley Manson is a complete beeotch.) I used to live a couple blocks from their Smart Recording Studios where Nirvana recorded the demos for their Nervermind album. The version of "Polly" on the album is from these sessions. "Dive" was on Incesticide and the remaining tunes found their way onto various compilation and tribute albums. One of my faves, Son Volt recorded demos there as well and my friend Bill got to meet Jay Farrar when he popped into the restaurant Bill cooked at. Other bands that have recorded or had mixing work done there include: Smashing Pumpkins, U2, Beck, L7, Jayhawks, Everclear, Paw, Limp Bizkit, Freddy Johnston, and Poster Children. And "lost" live recordings of Big Band greats Jimmy Dorsey, Woody Herman and Stan Kenton, have been digitally remastered at Smart Studios. Madison is home to former James Brown drummer, Clyde Stubblefield and keyboardist Ben Sidran.
Other Wisconsin musicians include The BoDeans, Willy Porter, and Daryl Stuermer. Stuermer played with Jean-Luc Ponty and Genesis.
Heck, even more stuff I didn't know. Whew! This was pretty fun. For being part of Hillary Clinton's "fly-over" area, Wisconsin has some funky stuff. And I haven't even mentioned lefse and lutefisk.
10 February, 2004
The Skin Graft Man Won't Get You
Now that I've got this new-found power, I'll post a picture:
Have you seen Jack-In-The-Green?
With his long tail hanging down.
He quietly sits under every tree
in the folds of his velvet gown.
He drinks from the empty acorn cup
the dew that dawn sweetly bestows.
And taps his cane upon the ground
signals the snowdrops it's time to grow.
With his long tail hanging down.
He quietly sits under every tree
in the folds of his velvet gown.
He drinks from the empty acorn cup
the dew that dawn sweetly bestows.
And taps his cane upon the ground
signals the snowdrops it's time to grow.
09 February, 2004
Interrobang
I spoke with my highly Catholic 64 year-old mother on the phone a little while ago. She had spent this past weekend in Michigan doing some snow tubing and tonight she had her first yoga lesson. It's a mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world.
My Thoughts On Other People's Gods
A reader wanted me to share my thoughts on the subject of deities'n'such. So I'm going to reprint something I wrote a few years ago with some bonus footage.
When I was young and they packed me off to school
and taught me how not to play the game,
I didn't mind if they groomed me for success,
or if they said that I was a fool.
So I left there in the morning
with their God tucked underneath my arm
their half-assed smiles and the book of rules.
So I asked this God a question
and by way of firm reply,
He said: "I'm not the kind you have to wind up on Sundays".
After having spent some time in a Catholic church over the weekend and recently finishing a book concerning a bishop, the subject of religion has been on my mind as of late. (I am slowly beginning to feel in need of ablution.) I recall kneeling in front of the pew operating a video camera while the ceremony played onwards. Behind me were the bride's parents. I could hear them very clearly - every "amen", every "Lord..." They knew exactly what to do and when. Of course they did. They were devout Catholics.
Half of my mother's side of the family are Roman Catholic and the other half Eastern Orthodox. It is from this side that I get my Polish and Ruthenian blood. The differences amongst the various family members are slight. The Orthodox folk celebrate Easter on a different day and seem to burn more frankincense at funerals than Chinese folks eat rice. I'll grant you that there are theological differences between the 2 religions but there doesn't seem to be any problems with that half of my clan. From my father's side I am descended from English and German bloodlines. Knowing only a couple of people on that half, I can only say that my impression is that Lutheranism/Protestantism does not seem to run deeply or at all, in fact.
I was raised Catholic the first few years of my life. Of course I was. Although my father is not, he had to sign papers pledging not to interfere with my mother's pursuit of doing such. Funny how the Church trusts the signatures of heathen whom they believe doomed to hell. Morality meets tartarology. In an odd twist, I went to a Lutheran pre-school. I still have some of the pro-Jesus things they had me make at that program. I don't recall ever having had any real feelings towards the Judeo-Christian god. From what I recall, I was always doing things because I was told to do so, it was what my mother wanted. Shortly after that experience, I decided that church and Christianity were not for me - it was boring and incomprehensible. And so I underwent an apostasy. (Well, as much of an apostasy as a 4-year old can undergo.)
I remember as a boy looking for something in our basement with my mother. Somehow the topic of religion came up and I asked her to which religion my father subscribed. She told me that he was an atheist and explained what that meant. I don't recall it having an immediate impact but when I became old enough to be cognizant of religion, its meaning and relation to myself, I labeled myself as such.
The concept of salvation held appeal but its links to reality were tenuous at best and a cruce salus was utterly ludicrous to my growing mind. I don't think I ever became anti-Christian in the same way that Carly Simon is anti-James Taylor but there were times when certain Christians irritated me greatly: the tall, imposing and very male anti-abortion activist who made sexual advances towards me, those who refused to talk about religion with me because I did not share their faith, and those who condemned me to hell with all the fire and brimstone of Jonathon Edwards. But people like these were the exceptions and, as a rule, I got along fine with people of all religious persuasions. They secure in their dogma, I secure in mine, or lack thereof.
Words get written. Words get twisted.
Old meanings move in the drift of time.
Lift the flickering torches. See gentle shadows change
the features of the faces cut in unmoving stone.
Bad mouth on a prayer day, hope no-one's listening.
Roots down in the wet clay, branches glistening
While talking with the priest last weekend, he described something very interesting. After I asked him if he had ever performed a Latin mass, he went on to describe them a bit. The difference which I found interesting was one that I had previously heard Joseph Campbell relate. In a Latin mass, the priest and the congregation all face the altar, looking upwards and pray together. Every mortal was in alignment, in unity. The current masses involve the priest facing the congregation, talking down to them from the altar. A minor difference to you, perhaps, but from my point of view, it is a significant change. The latter type of liturgy emphasizes the priest more, he is the center of attention in certain respects. Whereas in the Latin mass, every human being in the church focues their attention towards the crucifix, a group of iconodules reaching out for their god, priest included. Seems a more profound, more meaningful ceremony to me but I'll leave Catholics to worship as they please.
Christianity has a long history. Having evolved from Judaism, its genesis can be traced. It was created and originally propogated by a certain group of people at a certain moment in human history. The creation of its dogma was contingent upon these factors (and others). It arose from a particular cultural and human melieu. As it spread, it changed in certain ways. But throughout history Christians have retained some of the flavoring of their progenitors. In an earlier entry, I quoted a passage which made an analogy to illustrate the various religions of the world. Various groups of people living in different climes seek to scale a mountain to reach its point. Each group has a certain set of rules dictated by their environment as to the best manner of living and scaling the peak. A people who live in a desert would naturally have differing sets of practices to survive in their surroundings and to climb the face of the mountain they are nearest than a people who live in a more arctic climate.
What I'm driving at is that I find certain things in Christianity objectionable because of they belong to a people of another time and place with whom I am unable to relate. Much of the behavioral doctrine and the eschatological elements. There is a distinctly misogynous tone to much of it that I find repugnant. Can I see the utility of Christianity if I try to place myself in the time and place from which it arose? Yes. Does it still hold things for a person in this country at this moment in history? Sure it does. Treating your fellow human beings with dignity is a message that will never go out of style. But, honestly, it doesn't speak to me. Christianity and its trappings don't resonate within me.
Ask the green man where he comes from, ask the cup that fills with red.
Ask the old grey standing stones that show the sun its way to bed.
Question all as to their ways, and learn the secrets that they hold.
Walk the lines of nature's palm crossed with silver and with gold.
When that priest asked me of what religion I was, I responded, "Kantian, neo-pagan humanist". As labels go, it's probably pretty fair. (I have in an earlier entry written about this particular transmigration and the circumstances surrounding it.) Since I do not believe in a being or deity outside of this realm, "humanist" seems a good term (with a little existentialism thrown in for good measure). Notice that it is also listed lastly. The first 2 words are adjectives that modify "humanist". It is the central value of my view, my spirituality. How odd to put humanity at the core of spirituality, eh? Kant. If you've never read Kant, you've saved yourself a lot of headache and pain. It is very dense reading. By "dense" I don't mean packing an entire wardrobe in small suitcase. We're talking neutron star matter here. (To give you an idea of how dense matter from a neutron star is: At that density, you could pack every person on earth into a space the size of a sugar cube.) Luckily, there is a cottage industry of people who write nothing but books about what Kant wrote. But let me quote his most well-known contribution to ethics, the Categorical Imperative, well, 1 of the 3 formulations: "Act so that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in that of any other, always as an end and never as a means only." Go read some Kant.
If Kant and humanism are more philosophical than theological, then "neo-pagan" ventures into the hitherto unexplored metaphysical side of me. What struck me about it was that it was very open, very free-form. There seemed to be little hierarchy. It is also very accepting. And it was not proselytizing! The imagery, the iconography resonated within me. Pictures of the Green Man, nature and the Sun. Women were given a very predominant role as well. Instead of being second class humans, eternally blamed for the Eve and the apple bit, I found a way that viewed them as, at the very least, equals. Something about viewing women as life-givers and not bringers-of-sin struck me. How do you describe it when something just clicks in your mind and your heart? It is ineffable.
I don't claim to be religious. But I do consider myself to be spiritual. In the classic post-modern tradition, I have co-opted ideas of all sorts. I accept that human beings arose on this plant through an absolutely incredible process called evolution. Stephen Jay Gould and Roger Dawkins have yet to hash out the details but I am not descended from Adam & Eve. Where did the universe come from? I don’t know. But I accept the best answer science can give us at this point which goes back to a few milliseconds (or more) from the instant of the Big Bang. Having created a godless world for myself doesn’t absolve me from being a good individual. And I try to be a moral agent of some good repute. There is much to learn but I am contented with my feeling that my blend of science, philosophy and my own corrupted brand of theosophy is a good way to start.
Having said all that over 3 years ago, I can say that a bit has changed. I am still a devout atheist with all of those neo-pagan and Kantian overtones. But I do view religion differently.
I think a lot of atheists tend to think of religion as a form of mass mental-negligence and that, if adherents were to just render their beliefs unto logic and rationality, they'd see the error of their ways. Still another popular view is of religion as "the opiate of the people". Personally, I don't subscribe to either of these ideas. The potency of religion lies in it being completely divorced from logic and has powers that go beyond that of a salve. Having never been religious, I have no idea what's it like to believe that there's this old white man with a beard up in the firmament blue overseeing wars, errant breasts, and the slaughtering of innocents. But, after having read Pascal Boyer's Religion Explained, I feel that he has come up with the most satisfactory reason for the existence of religion, namely, it's a vestigal bit of human psychology. He does a good job giving a necessarily brief explanation of how various parts of human consciousness work and proceeds to differentiate ideas which are "religious" and those that are not. Boyer's explanation sheds light on religion generally and the general elements of religion. The devil is in the details and those will be exposed eventually.
and taught me how not to play the game,
I didn't mind if they groomed me for success,
or if they said that I was a fool.
So I left there in the morning
with their God tucked underneath my arm
their half-assed smiles and the book of rules.
So I asked this God a question
and by way of firm reply,
He said: "I'm not the kind you have to wind up on Sundays".
Half of my mother's side of the family are Roman Catholic and the other half Eastern Orthodox. It is from this side that I get my Polish and Ruthenian blood. The differences amongst the various family members are slight. The Orthodox folk celebrate Easter on a different day and seem to burn more frankincense at funerals than Chinese folks eat rice. I'll grant you that there are theological differences between the 2 religions but there doesn't seem to be any problems with that half of my clan. From my father's side I am descended from English and German bloodlines. Knowing only a couple of people on that half, I can only say that my impression is that Lutheranism/Protestantism does not seem to run deeply or at all, in fact.
I was raised Catholic the first few years of my life. Of course I was. Although my father is not, he had to sign papers pledging not to interfere with my mother's pursuit of doing such. Funny how the Church trusts the signatures of heathen whom they believe doomed to hell. Morality meets tartarology. In an odd twist, I went to a Lutheran pre-school. I still have some of the pro-Jesus things they had me make at that program. I don't recall ever having had any real feelings towards the Judeo-Christian god. From what I recall, I was always doing things because I was told to do so, it was what my mother wanted. Shortly after that experience, I decided that church and Christianity were not for me - it was boring and incomprehensible. And so I underwent an apostasy. (Well, as much of an apostasy as a 4-year old can undergo.)
I remember as a boy looking for something in our basement with my mother. Somehow the topic of religion came up and I asked her to which religion my father subscribed. She told me that he was an atheist and explained what that meant. I don't recall it having an immediate impact but when I became old enough to be cognizant of religion, its meaning and relation to myself, I labeled myself as such.
The concept of salvation held appeal but its links to reality were tenuous at best and a cruce salus was utterly ludicrous to my growing mind. I don't think I ever became anti-Christian in the same way that Carly Simon is anti-James Taylor but there were times when certain Christians irritated me greatly: the tall, imposing and very male anti-abortion activist who made sexual advances towards me, those who refused to talk about religion with me because I did not share their faith, and those who condemned me to hell with all the fire and brimstone of Jonathon Edwards. But people like these were the exceptions and, as a rule, I got along fine with people of all religious persuasions. They secure in their dogma, I secure in mine, or lack thereof.
Old meanings move in the drift of time.
Lift the flickering torches. See gentle shadows change
the features of the faces cut in unmoving stone.
Bad mouth on a prayer day, hope no-one's listening.
Roots down in the wet clay, branches glistening
Christianity has a long history. Having evolved from Judaism, its genesis can be traced. It was created and originally propogated by a certain group of people at a certain moment in human history. The creation of its dogma was contingent upon these factors (and others). It arose from a particular cultural and human melieu. As it spread, it changed in certain ways. But throughout history Christians have retained some of the flavoring of their progenitors. In an earlier entry, I quoted a passage which made an analogy to illustrate the various religions of the world. Various groups of people living in different climes seek to scale a mountain to reach its point. Each group has a certain set of rules dictated by their environment as to the best manner of living and scaling the peak. A people who live in a desert would naturally have differing sets of practices to survive in their surroundings and to climb the face of the mountain they are nearest than a people who live in a more arctic climate.
What I'm driving at is that I find certain things in Christianity objectionable because of they belong to a people of another time and place with whom I am unable to relate. Much of the behavioral doctrine and the eschatological elements. There is a distinctly misogynous tone to much of it that I find repugnant. Can I see the utility of Christianity if I try to place myself in the time and place from which it arose? Yes. Does it still hold things for a person in this country at this moment in history? Sure it does. Treating your fellow human beings with dignity is a message that will never go out of style. But, honestly, it doesn't speak to me. Christianity and its trappings don't resonate within me.
Ask the old grey standing stones that show the sun its way to bed.
Question all as to their ways, and learn the secrets that they hold.
Walk the lines of nature's palm crossed with silver and with gold.
If Kant and humanism are more philosophical than theological, then "neo-pagan" ventures into the hitherto unexplored metaphysical side of me. What struck me about it was that it was very open, very free-form. There seemed to be little hierarchy. It is also very accepting. And it was not proselytizing! The imagery, the iconography resonated within me. Pictures of the Green Man, nature and the Sun. Women were given a very predominant role as well. Instead of being second class humans, eternally blamed for the Eve and the apple bit, I found a way that viewed them as, at the very least, equals. Something about viewing women as life-givers and not bringers-of-sin struck me. How do you describe it when something just clicks in your mind and your heart? It is ineffable.
I don't claim to be religious. But I do consider myself to be spiritual. In the classic post-modern tradition, I have co-opted ideas of all sorts. I accept that human beings arose on this plant through an absolutely incredible process called evolution. Stephen Jay Gould and Roger Dawkins have yet to hash out the details but I am not descended from Adam & Eve. Where did the universe come from? I don’t know. But I accept the best answer science can give us at this point which goes back to a few milliseconds (or more) from the instant of the Big Bang. Having created a godless world for myself doesn’t absolve me from being a good individual. And I try to be a moral agent of some good repute. There is much to learn but I am contented with my feeling that my blend of science, philosophy and my own corrupted brand of theosophy is a good way to start.
Having said all that over 3 years ago, I can say that a bit has changed. I am still a devout atheist with all of those neo-pagan and Kantian overtones. But I do view religion differently.
I think a lot of atheists tend to think of religion as a form of mass mental-negligence and that, if adherents were to just render their beliefs unto logic and rationality, they'd see the error of their ways. Still another popular view is of religion as "the opiate of the people". Personally, I don't subscribe to either of these ideas. The potency of religion lies in it being completely divorced from logic and has powers that go beyond that of a salve. Having never been religious, I have no idea what's it like to believe that there's this old white man with a beard up in the firmament blue overseeing wars, errant breasts, and the slaughtering of innocents. But, after having read Pascal Boyer's Religion Explained, I feel that he has come up with the most satisfactory reason for the existence of religion, namely, it's a vestigal bit of human psychology. He does a good job giving a necessarily brief explanation of how various parts of human consciousness work and proceeds to differentiate ideas which are "religious" and those that are not. Boyer's explanation sheds light on religion generally and the general elements of religion. The devil is in the details and those will be exposed eventually.
I'm Gonna Listen to Zevon and Cash Today
Jeepers! It seems like a lot of people are stressing out over Valentine's Day. I think my plan is going to consist of watching a samurai flick and playing D&D and, in general, being abnormal as is normal for me. While I guess it would be nice to spend it with a fraulein, I'll be with friends and will get to see Miss Regan! Maybe she'll puke up all over me again. And I'm supposed to go visit Lush and Hannah again this week sometime. So what do you get girls who are only a few months old for V-Day? I'm thinking they don't care for flowers yet. Chocolate? They couldn't eat it so I would be forced to. NOW I'm diggin' where there's taters!
I was glad to see that Warren Zevon, June Carter, and Johnny Cash got some Grammies yesterday. A little late, if you ask me, but the folks at least had the courtesy to honor their careers, I guess. Even George Harrison and Sam Cooke got in on it. Buddy Guy and Etta James were winners too. The clowns on Faux News were shocked to hear that an award was given out for spoken word performances. Sheesh! How dumb are they? The awards are given out by the Recording Academy to "honor excellence in the recording arts and sciences", as their web page puts it. Were they aghast that an award went to someone for engineering an album? They're not just about music you dunces.
Christ! Is it me or does Christina Aguilera wear just too-fucking much make-up? It looks like she has a cute face but I can't tell as its buried behind a thick layer of paint. All that eyeliner makes her look like a total fucking ditz. And I loved how she showed all of her cleavage and 90% of her boobs. I dunno if anyone made any comments about Janet Jackson or not - I suppose somebody did. Americans are so funny. The only place we can see a black woman's breast is on PBS or in National Geographic.
OK, here are some more photos. Personally, I think Beyonce, whoever she is, has a much better body than Paris Hilton. Hey! Ry Cooder and Allison Kraus took home trophies! And Richard Marx lost his mullet! Chick Corea won sumpin' too! Alrighty. Amy Lee is a hottie. What songs to Evanescence do? Is that one with the video where somebody is hanging out a window of an apartment theirs? Jinkies! Look at the number than Tony Bennett is dating. Just goes to show, I've gotta get rich and famous before I'll ever find me a woman. (All you hotties take note: I am working on this.) Oooh! Parliament with Bootsy! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Now THAT woulda been cool.
I was glad to see that Warren Zevon, June Carter, and Johnny Cash got some Grammies yesterday. A little late, if you ask me, but the folks at least had the courtesy to honor their careers, I guess. Even George Harrison and Sam Cooke got in on it. Buddy Guy and Etta James were winners too. The clowns on Faux News were shocked to hear that an award was given out for spoken word performances. Sheesh! How dumb are they? The awards are given out by the Recording Academy to "honor excellence in the recording arts and sciences", as their web page puts it. Were they aghast that an award went to someone for engineering an album? They're not just about music you dunces.
Christ! Is it me or does Christina Aguilera wear just too-fucking much make-up? It looks like she has a cute face but I can't tell as its buried behind a thick layer of paint. All that eyeliner makes her look like a total fucking ditz. And I loved how she showed all of her cleavage and 90% of her boobs. I dunno if anyone made any comments about Janet Jackson or not - I suppose somebody did. Americans are so funny. The only place we can see a black woman's breast is on PBS or in National Geographic.
OK, here are some more photos. Personally, I think Beyonce, whoever she is, has a much better body than Paris Hilton. Hey! Ry Cooder and Allison Kraus took home trophies! And Richard Marx lost his mullet! Chick Corea won sumpin' too! Alrighty. Amy Lee is a hottie. What songs to Evanescence do? Is that one with the video where somebody is hanging out a window of an apartment theirs? Jinkies! Look at the number than Tony Bennett is dating. Just goes to show, I've gotta get rich and famous before I'll ever find me a woman. (All you hotties take note: I am working on this.) Oooh! Parliament with Bootsy! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Now THAT woulda been cool.
I Got Sunshine In My Stomach
Alrighty then! I have a refill hoolie for my dayplanner, an envelope for mailing my tax papers to the accountant, and a new mileage log. These things will allow me to straighten out/organize my life a bit.
Laundry to fold...Oh! Must email Pollack about setting up a winter camping trip. Nothing like sipping bourbon in the snow.
Laundry to fold...Oh! Must email Pollack about setting up a winter camping trip. Nothing like sipping bourbon in the snow.
Why Has My Bedroom Run Amok?
My bedroom is looking a lot better now. Previously it was a disaster area with clothing, books, CDs, and bags of coffee beans and a grinder strewn about the place. Clothes are in the wash, CDs stacked, books shelved and coffee now resides in the kitchen. The exact location of my diary was revealed to have been right on the floor in the middle of the room buried underneath 3 other books, 4 CDs, and a pair of smelly socks. Next I am going to wash my bedsheets...
Reminder:
February 19th
Colin McGinn, Professor of Philosohpy, Rutgers University
McGinn will be speaking at the University and it's FREE. And, hell, if Ms. Scarlett can learn about subduing men's testicles with chopsticks by herself, then I can certainly discover what the T-zone is on my own. But, if I do, it will become arcane knowledge known only to me and held forever in my giant brain the size of a planet until my deathbed revelation.
Reminder:
February 19th
Colin McGinn, Professor of Philosohpy, Rutgers University
McGinn will be speaking at the University and it's FREE. And, hell, if Ms. Scarlett can learn about subduing men's testicles with chopsticks by herself, then I can certainly discover what the T-zone is on my own. But, if I do, it will become arcane knowledge known only to me and held forever in my giant brain the size of a planet until my deathbed revelation.
In Search of...the T-Zone
I have been poking around the web site of our local sex-positive store in search of info about non-latex jimmy hats. Poking around further, I see that 99% of their catalog is devoted to toys for women. And books for women. And bath supplements for women.
So I poke around some more and get to their In-Store Calendar. Some of the events they host:
Exploring Anal Eroticism: A Workshop for Everyone
Exploring the G-spot, the T-zone, the Prostate, and Female Ejaculation
The Art of Erotic Dance...or How to Strip (Women only, of course)
Tantric Sex or the Art of Truly Connected Lovemaking
Sex Toys 101: An Introduction to Sex Toys
What the hell is a T-zone? How come women have all these fun zones and spots and can have all these orgasms by touching non-genital areas and 56 of them in an hour...Some of these courses sound interesting. Do you suppose I could meet a nice, broadminded woman there? Prolly not. Chickies probably drag their husbands to them kicking and screaming like they make them watch chick flicks. I shall try to find someone to go with me if for no other reason than to discover what this T-zone is all about.
Ooh! And you can send erotic e-cards from there too. Let's see...which song would I use for the card? Beethoven's 5th? "Norwegian Wood"? "Tubular Bells"? "Tubular Bells"?!?! Oh, that's rich. Ooh! Since I love me so much, I'm gonna send one to myself with "Also Sprach Zarathustra" playing. Now I'm cookin' with butter!
So I poke around some more and get to their In-Store Calendar. Some of the events they host:
Exploring Anal Eroticism: A Workshop for Everyone
Exploring the G-spot, the T-zone, the Prostate, and Female Ejaculation
The Art of Erotic Dance...or How to Strip (Women only, of course)
Tantric Sex or the Art of Truly Connected Lovemaking
Sex Toys 101: An Introduction to Sex Toys
What the hell is a T-zone? How come women have all these fun zones and spots and can have all these orgasms by touching non-genital areas and 56 of them in an hour...Some of these courses sound interesting. Do you suppose I could meet a nice, broadminded woman there? Prolly not. Chickies probably drag their husbands to them kicking and screaming like they make them watch chick flicks. I shall try to find someone to go with me if for no other reason than to discover what this T-zone is all about.
Ooh! And you can send erotic e-cards from there too. Let's see...which song would I use for the card? Beethoven's 5th? "Norwegian Wood"? "Tubular Bells"? "Tubular Bells"?!?! Oh, that's rich. Ooh! Since I love me so much, I'm gonna send one to myself with "Also Sprach Zarathustra" playing. Now I'm cookin' with butter!
One of My Possible Futures
There's an article in yesterday's paper in which I saw a possible future. On the front is a picture of an 11 year-old girl clad in glasses, a shirt with frilly cuffs, and a huge smile because she'd just won the All-City Spelling Bee. If I ever have a daughter, I have a sinking feeling that she will be her. But, just imagine how proud I'd be if my progeny spelled "cardiomegaly" correctly in front of everyone. I'd be yelling, standing on my chair dancing, and, in general, doing things that would totally embarrass my wife. And, after she's kicked-ass at the spelling bee, we'd go out and indulge ourselves with chocolate, because you just know any kid of mine will be addicted to the stuff.
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