Moby Dick

OK, I have "Moby Dick" playing again and I'm laughing out loud to myself. Someone asked about it and, since I play it repeatedly, I shall make some remarks.

The song was originally by Led Zeppelin on their second album from 1969. And, in my best nerdy tradition, I'll let you know that it evolved from a song called "The Girl I Love, She Got Long, Black Wavy Hair" which went unreleased until a few years back on Zep's BBC collection. So, in 1990, Dread Zeppelin did the song in question on their first album, which is comprised entirely of Led Zeppelin songs done in a reggae style. The singer is named "Tortelvis" and he is, unsurprisingly, an Elvis impersonator. On their version of "Heartbreaker", he throws in some lines from Elvis' "Heartbreak Hotel". And on "Black Dog", you'll find stray bits from "Hound Dog". (Elvis may have made the song famous, his version pales in comparison to that of its originator, Big Mama Thornton.) So back to "Moby Dick". As Zeppelin performed it, a rockin' guitar-led part bookended a drum solo. Dread Zeppelin kept the format but, during the drum solo, Tortelvis recites passages from Moby Dick. First he reads from Chapter 135:

"'Give way!' cried Ahab to the oarsmen, and the boats darted forward to the attack; but maddened by yesterday's fresh irons that corroded in him, Moby Dick seemed combinedly possessed by all the angels that fell from heaven."

Now, it's funny enough to hear Elvis reading Melville, but after this part, Tortelvis says,

"Hot damn tamale, Ahab! I swear..."

He continues,"'The wide tiers of welded tendons overspreading his broad white forehead, beneath the transparent skin, looked knitted together; as head on, he came churning his tail among the boats; and once more flailed them apart; spilling out the irons and lances from the two mates' boasts, and dashing in one side of the upper part of their bows, but leaving Ahab's almost without a scar.'"

Notice how he says "boasts" instead of "boats".

"Mates boasts. You know, I'm tired of this thing - I think he should have worded the damn thing differently. Right here, look: 'from the two mates' boasts'. Boasts? Huh..."

He repeats a line:

"'and dashing in one side of the upper part of their bows, but leaving Ahab's almost without a scar.' I, I, I'd just like, I'd just like to say that I admire this Ahab character."

Then he goes to chapter 9:

"First of all, then he said to 'em, 'I saw the opening maw of hell, With endless pains and sorrows there; (the way he says "there", the way he lengthens the "air" bit is just hilarious) Which none but they that feel can tell--Oh, I was plunging to despair. In black distress, I called my God...'"

Back to chapter 135:

"'Moby Dick was now again steadily swimming forward; and had almost passed the ship,- which thus'...I've read this damn book 22 times, Charlie, and I still don't understand the damn thing."

Go find this song and listen to it as my description doesn't do it justice. I guarantee it'll put a smile on your face. I've seen Dread Zeppelin twice and they are great. The first time was in a small club which sadly burned to the ground shortly afterwards (Club DeWash). A friend and I went. He drove and, after we parked, he pulled out a pipe which he densely packed with some ganj. I was offered the first toke and it was big. I held it in for as long as I could before I started coughing my lungs out. He started laughing at me and extending his hand, said, "Here - gimme that, you amateur."

In my defense, I replied, "You don't cough, you don't get off." Then he took a massive pull. At first he calmly held the smoke in. Then his cheeks puffed. Then his eyes bulged and gave off one of those "Oh shit, oh fuck" looks of impending doom. He exhaled and launched into a coughing fit of biblical proportions.

We sat in a corner of the bar after having found a friend of my friend. This guy would go on to become my insurance agent. We drank Point lager as it was the special that night and smoked more grass. My friend and I were working together at that time and we met a co-worker of ours before the show. He said that he was gonna work his way down front so he could dance. I then predicted what their opening tune was gonna be - "Immigrant Song" - and, as the band started, I was proven right.